Category Archives: trust

He has an eye for the details..

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways…All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

(Ps 139.1-3,16)

And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me – holy is his name.”

( Luke 1.46-49)

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things…so that no-one may boast before him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God – that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

(1Cor 1.26-31)

While we do well always to bear in mind the great story of redemption which is God’s plan for our world – to be fulfilled when Jesus returns in glory and all things are made new – it is also good sometimes to get lost in the details. To take time to consider the people whom God chose to use; to look at the details of their lives, and how God was actively making ‘all things’ work together for the good of his people and also his purposes.

These people were not chosen by God because of their holiness, their moral purity or status in society. The story of God’s dealings with his chosen people is littered with deeply flawed human beings – sinning and sinned against – who almost in spite of themselves prove suitable instruments in God’s hand. We are not often meant to look at their stories in order to find a pattern for our lives – but rather to learn that God can and does use the most unlikely people. It is their – and our – unworthiness for the task which allows God’s grace and strength and love to shine through most clearly, so that all the glory for salvation’s work might go to him.

That in itself is a great encouragement to us, as we are daily more aware of our persistent sin and all the ways in which we let God down – he knows and provides for all our mistakes, and is the more exalted and glorious because of our inadequacies. We need not be ashamed, but rather embrace a liberating humility, resting entirely upon God’s love for us, and gracious desire to involve us in his work. It matters not at all that we occupy quiet, unremarkable positions; that our talents and resources are small. In God’s providence, we are just what he desires, and in this we may rest and be satisfied.

I think we should also be encouraged to notice that God is intimately interested in all the details of our lives – we are not merely anonymous (though useful) employees, but beloved children, and everything about us matters to him. The psalmists knew this, that is why they were so bold in bringing their concerns before him. Think too of Job, in all his bitterness of spirit, never doubting that God would bear with his complaint. Consider the childless Hannah – pouring out her desire for a son, and not doubting that God heard and understood – and poor Jeremiah, who held nothing back in giving God all the credit for the sufferings he endured.

The wonderful truth is that the details of God’s children’s lives are what makes up the great narrative of redemption, and he is always interested in them. We need never think that we are beneath his notice, or that our concerns are too trivial and nothing to do with God’s purposes in the world – we are his purpose; being worked out, transformed, and being used in turn to transform others. Let us then rejoice with Mary, boasting in our great God, who has been mindful of us in our helplessness, and is still mindful of us in our weakness, but chooses to work in and through us for his good and great purposes..

The Mighty One has done great things for us – holy is his name!

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Storm….

Hope deferred makes the heart sick…

An anxious heart weighs a man down…

Each heart knows its own bitterness..

Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

(Proverbs: 13.12, 12.25, 14.10, 14.13, 15.13, 18.10)

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. …Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll – are they not in your record?

(Ps 56.3,4,8)

…then Job replied: “If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales! it would surely outweigh the sand of the seas – no wonder my words have been impetuous….Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for, that God would be willing to crush me, to let loose his hand and cut me off! Then I would still have this consolation – my joy in unrelenting pain – that I had not denied the words of the Holy One..What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient?

(Job 6.1-3,8-10)

 

No one hears your voice when you scream in a storm;

No one sees your tears when you weep in a storm;

Just you, and the storm; wind and rain battering the body, relentlessly demanding your full attention in the moment. Be here, Be now, Be this uprising of the elements..just BE

Those blessed moments of release from impossible tension, when the physical demands absorb every ounce of attention and for a brief minute the agonising load which is crushing the spirit and tormenting the mind is forgotten..

Tonight, I gave thanks for the storm, as I stood on the hill fighting to keep my feet, with the rain driven in stinging, life affirming blows into my face. No one else would be out; no one to see my distress, or hear my cries..just me and the Lord who sent the storm to hide me and bring me out to walk with him in the darkness, under his wild skies.

I do not understand why I am in this pain; no doubt I am partly responsible for it..but Lord, I feel I have been carrying this burden for so long; years of doing what I thought was your will in this situation, and feeling ever more hopeless that there could be a better way. Have I been asking too much? Have I been  missing your ways…or is this really your perfect will for the rest of my time on earth?

Forgive my wild words, and remember that I am but dust, frail and feeble, and full of sin.  Remember your servant Job, Lord, and the psalmists and the prophets, who all brought their overflowing cups of woe to your feet, and poured them out there. Surely this is the only safe thing to do with my lament, the only safe place to pour out the truth of the bitterness in my heart?

At your feet, in your presence, where even through my cries and lamentation, I hear your voice saying words of tender love and know your close presence to comfort me. I want to come home tonight, to be rid of this burden. But I know that it is not time yet, there are things here that I know you would have me do..Where can I find strength to carry on, where find hope?

I am a frightened, lonely, and near-despairing child. Lord have mercy upon me..

You are the Lord of the universe; your love never fails, and all your will for me is good and right – I know this. But right now, I don’t understand.

What is the right thing for me to be doing? Go on as before? Or what….? O Lord, have mercy, have mercy upon me, a sinner; upon me, your daughter; upon this child for whom Christ died, and who longs only to live in a way that glorifies his name.. What does that look like for me today, what is my path in this darkness?

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned….

(Isa 9.2)

Let your light shine upon me…lead me in your truth…may the life you give me, be lived always and only to your glory…

to honour by trusting..

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God…my eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare.

(Ps 25.1&15)

Then Jehoshaphat stood up in the assembly..at the temple of the Lord and said: ” O Lord, God of our fathers, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no-one can withstand you…If calamity comes upon us…we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress….We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.

(2 Chron 20.5,6,9&12)2

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear…Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field..how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!….But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well….Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom…Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

(Luke 12.22,25&32: Matt.6.33&34)

As a follower of Jesus, I am called to honour and glorify God in everything I do – that is, to make his name great, to give him his rightful place and encourage others to acknowledge his worth and greatness. God has not promised his children that they will have an easy path through life in order to glorify and testify to his power, rather he makes it clear that we are to worship and lift him high in the midst of the trials of life, mundane though they often are, and extreme as they can be. How do we do this? Surely one of the ways most clearly commanded to us – explicitly by the words of Jesus quoted above, and implicitly in many other places – is by our trust in God.

Our God is an awesome God; he reigns from heaven above with wisdom, love and power, our God is an awesome God. Do I believe it? Do I live as if I were the apple of his eye, the one for whom he guides all things together for my blessing and his glory? Do I give God credit for all his promises, and even more, for all the things he has done which prove his faithfulness? Too often, the answer has to be that I do not; that my actions – my addiction to worry and anxiety, to controlling and manipulating circumstances – all speak of a heart which does not trust God to do as he has promised – to deliver me and keep me safe. If a jury of my neighbours and friends were to consider the evidence for my dependence upon God, my reliance on him to do all things well, what would be their verdict upon me? I fear they would declare the case ‘not proven’, in face of my fretful and discontented thoughts and words; my self-centred actions and attitudes.

May I be forgiven for dishonouring my Lord in this way; for disbelieving his word, and dismissing his historic faithfulness, and living as though no one was looking out for me, but myself.

May I learn to be more like the godly king Jehoshaphat, who in time of great national danger came publicly to claim the help and protection of God – boldly reminding God of all that had been promised, and leaving the matter entirely in his hands. This is what it looks like to seek God’s kingdom before our own needs – to come and say, “Lord, I don’t know what to do, but I am looking to you, not to anyone else and certainly not to myself, for your good will to be done.”

In every circumstance, may this be my experience, to turn towards and not away from God; to run to his word, his promises, his character and find there my grounds for peace, for hope and for the security of all that I entrust to him. May I learn, as the flowers and birds have never forgotten, that I am called to live and thrive for as long as my Lord shall decree, and to honour him by my absolute trust that he knows and does all things well.

Thank you letters…

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Phil.4.6&7)

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live…Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you…How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people…I will sacrifice a thank-offering to you and call on the name of the Lord. 

(Ps 116.1,2,7,12-14,17)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures for ever..It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man…I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation…Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord…This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it…The Lord is God, and he has made his light shine upon us. With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession up to the horns of the altar. You are my God, and I will give thanks; you are my God and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures for ever.

(Ps 118.1,8,13&14,19,24,27-29)

Young children find the business of writing thank you letters a dreadful blot on a special day like Christmas, but as an adult, receiving written thanks from friends, and family after birthdays, or special occasions, I understand why we were trained in this discipline. We give the gift – our time, our money, our thoughtful present – and hope that it will be noticed, be acceptable, hope that we have been a blessing! And then the letter arrives, and we KNOW that we did a good thing, and can enjoy the pleasure that we gave all over again! The good things will not be wasted or undervalued.

Now, I am not suggesting that our eternal, all-knowing and mighty God is in need of our thanks in order to make him feel better. We can do nothing to change how God feels about us, the children for whom his son died. We can however glorify him and be blessed ourselves in so doing when we take time to explicitly recognise and thank him for the good things we have. Thanking God and enjoying his good gifts in his company – using them for the purpose he designed, and giving him all the credit for the results – are things we are commanded to do for our own good and as the only sensible response to his incredible generosity.

When I take time to recognise the miracles which go into providing each thing that appears on my plate at breakfast time, I find myself praising the God who ordained seasons, who gives the power of germination to seeds, who presides over the rain and sun and is Lord of creation – in all its glorious complexity and beauty.

When I take time to acknowledge the miracle which is my own continuing existence – I woke up today; I can breathe and walk, I can think and see; I have a secure place to live and a land where the rule of law keeps me safe – then I find myself praising the God who rules over all power and authority, and who has ordained already all the days of my life. I am reminded that I can trust in him, and in nothing else, since I cannot control any of these things.

When I take time to see what God is doing in my life and those around me – people who encourage and help me; daily opportunities to love and serve and witness; evidence of growing faith, strengthening love, earnest persevering obedience – then I find myself praising and leaning on the God who has promised never to leave or abandon his children, and also to bring to glorious completion the work he has begun in their lives.

Perhaps most significantly, when I take time to acknowledge the difference which Jesus Christ makes in my life – my Lord and Saviour, the one who created a new heart in me and who died that I might be free from guilt and the power of sin, that I might look forward to a life without death in a new earth and new heaven – then I find myself prostrate, flat out in worship of God who for sheer love, made me his child and called me home to his arms.

When my daily life consists in spoken and unspoken thank-you letters to God, then I will live humbly, obediently, trusting and at peace.. May God have mercy and stir up in me the habit of thankfulness.

 

 

From the depths…to the heights

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning…O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.

(Ps 130.1-7)

I lift up my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven. As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he shows us his mercy.

(Ps 123.1&2)

Look, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and all the peoples of the earth will mourn because of him. So shall it be! AMEN!

I turned round …and saw someone “like a son of man”, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash round his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said:”Do not be afraid. I am the first and the last. I am the living one; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever!

(Rev 1.7,12-18)

When I am drowning in sorrow; when I sing my way through songs of longing at church, with tears streaming down my face and no one notices or comforts me; when I wake each day to pick up the same heavy load of seemingly insoluble difficulty; Lord, let me then preach your word to my spirit. I WILL lift my eyes to you; I WILL fix my gaze upon your face: I WILL put my faith in your love and mercy, and trust that even in this dark pit, you have not abandoned me.

When I look around at my community and my country and see congregations growing old and dying; when I see preachers and pastors burning out under loads of unrealistic expectation; when I see church members sitting so lightly to their calling or so weighed down by life that they have no time or energy to invest in growing in their faith and in community with their fellow believers; Lord, let me then preach your word to my spirit. I WILL lift my eyes to your throne; I WILL fix my gaze upon the glory of the risen one: I WILL put my faith in your power and sovereignty, in your plan to bring all things together under the Lordship of my precious Jesus, and in the truth that your love for this broken world – for those who choose to reject you, for those who think that they know you but do not – that love is inextinguishable.

Forgive me Lord, that I fall into despair so easily; my spirit is not strong. Forgive me Lord, that I let my eyes fall down into the darkness around me so easily; my vision is not clear. Forgive me Lord, that I can’t seem to live day by day in the joyful reality of your saving presence with me, and of your inexorable power at work in the world around me; my feet are not strong to stay on the path.

Thank you, that the truth about you does not change, and that when I make the effort to look up, to look towards the throne, there I see not some impersonal, eternally distant being, but my Lord. I see one who in glory bears his scars in a recognisable body, one who speaks my language, and who knows and cares about everything which happens to me.

Restore in me, the hope of your salvation; restore in me, the reality of sin forgiven and guilt removed; restore in me, the wellspring of your love that I might live out that love to those around me.

Restore in your church, a conviction of your love and power to save; restore in your church, a passion to share the transforming truth of sin forgiven and lives restored; restore in your church, a love which transcends denominational boundaries, which sets aside differences in tradition for the sake of serving a glorified and risen Lord.

Have mercy upon us Lord, that we might have the inexpressible joy of seeing men and women across our land coming into the light of your love, and the privilege of serving alongside them in your name. Amen, so let it be!

 

When did you last weep?

The words of Nehemiah..while I was in the citadel of Susa, Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant,.. and also about Jerusalem. They said to me, “Those who… are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven..

(Nehemiah 1.1-4)

Since my people are crushed, I am crushed; I mourn and horror grips me. Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people? Oh that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears!

(Jeremiah 8.21- 9.1)

Restore us again, O God our Saviour, and put away your displeasure towards us. Will you be angry with us forever? Will you prolong your anger through all generations? Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you? Show us your unfailing love, O Lord, and grant us your salvation. I will listen to what God the Lord will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints – but let them not return to folly. Surely his salvation is near those who fear him, that his glory may dwell in our land. Love and faithfulness meet together, righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. Rightousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps.

(Ps 85.4-13)

I don’t know if you think of lamentation as a form of worship, but I do. When the psalmists and prophets come before God with the desperate “How long, O Lord?!”, they are worshipping the almighty God,  placing him in the position of ultimate authority, and recognising his sovereign power and will at work behind all that happened in the world around them. Their example gives us confidence to follow them in bringing to the throne of God all the things that trouble us in the world, not least the parlous state of the Church of Christ in many parts of the west.

We, like Nehemiah, should be moved to mourn as we consider the state of our part of the worldwide church – a body discredited, mocked, marginalised, torn within by division, polluted by heresy and undermined by chronic lack of confidence in the power of the revealed word of God to transform lives. Truly, our walls are torn down and our gates destroyed as if by fire, we should hang our heads in shame and horror and cry to God for mercy.

In reality, we are perhaps so used to the state of things that we have not allowed ourselves to feel, let alone express these emotions. But surely, if we take time to let God show us these realities, we ought to catch something of his grief for the condition of his people – and then our lamentation might, like Nehemiah’s, become a prayer for action, for change, and a plea for God to intervene and to use even such fragile instruments as ourselves in that mission of restoration.

We are a sinful people; the church is made up of those who have realised how broken they are, and how much they depend upon God’s mercy. So when we cry for God to intervene to restore his people, we are not claiming that we have earned or deserved his favour, but rather are reminding him – and ourselves – of our dependence upon his grace and unmerited favour. God’s glory is revealed not in the efforts of christians to build the church, but in the power which God displays in lives which he transforms, in the faithfulness which he grants to frail humankind, in the unity which he grants to fractured congregations and creates as he draws people to himself from all nations. It is for the loss of his glory that we weep when we consider our churches today; and for the restoration of his glory that we pray when we cry “How long, O Lord?”.

In our lamentations, may we not lose hope, but rather be encouraged, like Nehemiah, to ask God to use us in his plans for restoration. May we return with the psalmists to the great faithfulness which God has shown to his fickle people, trusting that the promises will yet be fulfilled, and our land will indeed yield its harvest – to his glory and for our blessing!

..from a full heart, I sing!

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up ….He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far has the Lord helped us.”

(1Sam 7.12)

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord..”

(1Sam.1.27)

Lord, you have been our dwelling-place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God…Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days….May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendour to their children. May the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands.

(Ps 90.1,2,14,16&17)

Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

(James 1.16&17)

Throughout the bible narrative, God calls on his people to review the ways in which he has dealt with them, acted in love towards them, rescued and provided for them – even though they couldn’t always understand the methods he used! Through the ups and downs of their lived history as the covenant people, they were to learn that God was good, that God could be trusted – no matter what happened. The repeated message is to “remember…”, and we do well to follow their example.

Our family recently celebrated the graduation of our son from university, after four years of study. It was a day full of ritual – as befits an ancient seat of learning – and joy, as all the students rejoiced together, enjoying a final few days before their paths diverge into the next stage of life. Graduation is a major rite of passage for a family, marking the end of formal education and in large measure the end of the role of parents in supporting and providing for their children. It is a time for reflection and thanksgiving, and as I watched my son beaming enthusiastically at his tutors (and their faces shining back at him), I was overwhelmed with gratitude to the God who gave us this precious charge, this child, to be raised for him.

The journey to this point has had its fair share of challenges – for one thing, he didn’t want to be born!! – and I have wept and agonised over his choices, and endured the torrid teenage years like other parents. There has been a measure of kicking over the traces, and he has his own particular palette of weaknesses – some of them mine, which is such a shame… But, but, but….God has promised, and has blessed us by fulfilling that promise while we are alive to see it, and our son professes a lively faith in the God to whom we committed him as an infant. Nothing else really matters, and I am so thankful that I can entrust my beloved child to my heavenly Father, who loves him with such a passion.

Here, I raise my Ebenezer; here I say, ‘thus far, the Lord has helped us!’; will he not continue to do so?! Let me learn from the years of child-rearing, let me remember that through it all, my God never abandoned us, never left us or broke his promises. Let me hold even more firmly to those promises as we look to the future, so that no matter what comes, I will be willing to trust God with my children.

Today, my heart is full of thankfulness, singing songs of praise to my heavenly Father, the source of all good things; today, my life is bursting with good things, and there are no clouds in the sky. When tomorrow comes, things may change, but my God never changes; and all that is permitted to touch me and mine comes within his sovereign will for us, and for his glory.

Let the possibilities of future troubles not cloud the celebrations of today; let me take in full measure, the joy and satisfaction which my Lord is pouring into my lap in so many ways. This is a time for singing the songs of fullness, of gratitude for good gifts and answered prayers; a time for storing up reasons to be thankful against the days when I am in the dark. My God will prove faithful then, and I can rest in his unchanging love and nature, come what may…