Category Archives: Humility

I’m waiting…. God?

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You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart.

(Ps 32.7,8,10&11)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.

(Pr 3.5-7)

Paul and his companions travelled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.

(Acts 16.6-10)

Things don’t always happen the same way twice; and we need always to be open to that in our life of faith.. Paul the great apostle and teacher is off on another missionary journey, bringing good news to people in need, hungry to make disciples for Jesus and to found new churches. He has experience and wisdom, he’s done this before and knows the pattern… but this time something different happens. The actual words of the account in Acts are frustratingly vague to us, we want to know just how the spirit kept him from preaching in Asia; how did he know that it was Jesus who was guiding and restraining him from doing what he had always done before? But the effect was to drive Paul and his companions right to the edge of Asia, where at last they received a clear and direct call to ‘come over’ into Macedonia, into the European continent, to preach the good news. 

Do you, like me, find yourself rather envious of this account? How good it must be to have such absolute conviction about God’s leading in one’s situation – this strong constraint, followed by a vision, not even just a hint or an inclination but a person standing there saying, “come!” Many of the characters whose stories are preserved for us in the bible have experiences of being led in dramatic ways, by dreams and direct messages from God, and yet for many of us, nothing like this ever seems to happen and the whole business of guidance can become a real testing-ground of faith as we wait and ask, and ponder and ask, and wait again…. how long can one wait?

Life can’t be put on hold, decisions and plans must be made about future commitments and current responsibilities. While we live day to day in God’s providence, we have to make plans for the future as a basis for decisions now. How do we do that when there is a sense of total uncertainty about what lies ahead? At some point, choices must be made, and a path taken or not taken, which will have implications for us and other people.

I believe the Lord knows this, and that in these small immediate decisions, we must trust him to be at work directing us even when we are uncertain about the big picture. As our hearts seek to serve him, will he not honour that desire in us and straighten the path out before us as we take the small steps right in front of us? We do need to be aware that God may call us in unexpected directions – are we open to the possibility that our previous experience and expectations are to be overturned as God restrains our effort to go in the ‘sensible and likely’ path? Paul was not wrong in desiring to preach in Asia, it was sensible and good, and fitted his own expectations. But God had bigger plans, which required Paul to be humble enough to set his own expectations aside and to refrain from good works in order to do the best work at that time, which was to go to Macedonia. 

Father God, thank you that you have given me a desire to serve you. Thank you that I can know you have prepared good works for me to do for you. Thank you that you understand my longing for clear direction, and how difficult it is to live with uncertainty. Let my waiting on you not be a fruitless thing. Let me wait in confidence, give me wisdom to use the opportunities you give me now. Have mercy on my weakness and straighten the path under my feet, so that I might walk according to your will and glorify you in my life. For Jesus’ sake, Amen.

Measuring ministry…

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He said to me, “You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendour.” But I said, “I have laboured to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due to me is in the Lord’s hand, and my reward is with my God.” And now the Lord says – he who formed me in the womb to be his servant to bring Jacob back to him and gather Israel to himself, for I am honoured in the eyes of the Lord and my God has been my strength – he says: “It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.”

(Isa 49.5&6)

Jesus called [the disciples] together and said,”.. whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

(Matt 20.25-28)

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant… he humbled himself and became obedient to death..

(Phil 2.5-8)

Followers of Jesus, people of the Way, called to a life, not merely an intellectual creed or habitual observances. My faith, unless it be manifest in works – in ministry and a godly life – is dead. But do you find it difficult to discern sometimes what your ministry is? It may not involved anything explicitly evangelistic, no teaching and training of disciples over text books and bible commentaries. You may not be the one who leads children’s work or speaks boldly at every mission prayer meeting… that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a ministry, a role to which God has called you and for which you are given strength, insight and perseverance each day. In fact, there may be several things going on at once!

The work of child-rearing; of house-keeping; of integrity and compassion brought to the daily tasks of your employment; of volunteering  among your community; of caring for elderly relatives and neighbours; of cleaning up toilets and washing dishes; of doing DIY and gardening chores for others; of praying in private, again and again and again for the lost sheep of the Great Shepherd. All of these are ministries, and there will be so many more, reflecting the gifts, situations and opportunities of God’s children around the world. Let us pray for one another, and encourage one another in these less visible ministries, where our service for the Lord is not under a spotlight, but is nonetheless our opportunity to delight in copying Jesus’ servant heart and humility.

In our human frailty, we long to be rewarded, praised and recognised for our contributions, and to see fruit for our labours. I think our Father knows this, and therefore he also understands when our particular ministries don’t seem to bear fruit and we are tempted to be discouraged. We can pray for one another here too – let’s be honest about our discouragements, in order that we may serve one another faithfully by restoring our focus on Jesus. We are called to serve, but we are not promised an experience of the outcome of our service. We may never see fruit for our labours – does that mean they are worthless?

By no means (as Paul would say!). As the passage from Isaiah says, our reward is surely in the Lord’s hand – to be kept for us until his good time. He decides what fruit will come, and whether we should see it or not. Perhaps it is better for us – sparing us the danger of pride and self-conceit – to be delivered from success in the world’s eyes. Perhaps we couldn’t cope with the potential shipwreck of our faith on the admiration and praise of other people!

Loving Heavenly Father, thank you that in Jesus we have a perfect example of life and ministry to follow. Help us to sacrifice our pride, our desire for human praise, even our natural hunger for fruit for our labours, at the feet of Jesus. It is our privilege to serve in his name, to love in his strength, and to seek his glory. When others see fruit, receive praise and even perhaps take credit for our labour, let us humbly rejoice that you are over all, and that you have a greater reward than we can possibly imagine awaiting us in glory. Make us content with whatever you choose to give, or withhold, so long as you fulfil your purpose in us. For Jesus’s sake, and his glory we pray, Amen.

Father, it hurts..

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Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent for ever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. for you have heard my vows, O God; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name. 

(Ps 61.1-5)

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

(Jn 13.34)

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a person’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage, … if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully… Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer… Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn

(Rom 12.6-12, 16)

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.

(Gal 6.2)

Hudson Taylor, the founder of the China Inland Mission is reported to have said this, “The Lord’s work, done in the Lord’s way, will never fail to have the Lord’s provision.”

While I am sure this applies to global mission movements and great developments in church outreach and evangelism, I also believe that it applies to my own small life. It could be translated to read, “As I obey God’s call to offer my life in his service – whatever circumstances I am in and whatever resources are available to me – I may be sure that He will enable me to fulfil that particular and unique calling.”

I have been working out just what that means in this current season of life – and being a slow learner and a forgetful soul, I find I am treading familiar ground with a sense that I should have been here a while ago!

My life does not involve many responsibilities, I have much personal freedom to structure my time, and that brings a challenge in knowing what God wants me to do with my availability… Recently, I have felt overwhelmed with the sheer number and range of burdens being carried by my friends and family, let alone those further afield to whom I am committed in prayer support. As I wrestled with the discouragement and sense of my own futility in face of such need, I was helped by the love of friends and some wise counsel. The Spirit has been working mercifully to open my eyes to a new understanding.

This burden of sharing in the lives of others, which is also a privilege of course, is my particular calling in this season. I have time when I can be alone and without distraction, when the Lord can take me through the names and needs of many, to obey Christ’s command of love and bear them before him in prayer.

I want to bear this burden honourably. I want to glorify my Lord as I give myself in this way – not grumbling or complaining about the list of names, nor becoming cynical and weary of the work. I want to remain hope-filled and quietly rejoicing in the goodness and faithfulness of God, even as I contemplate suffering or loss. My dear Lord knows my heart, and promises to meet my daily needs in order that I may fulfil this desire to serve him worthily; as my heart is permitted to feel a little of his great heart, sorrowing or rejoicing, over all his beloved children.

Today therefore, I embrace this calling and thank the Lord for it. I do not need the answers to the trials of others – this is his business. Instead, I come in humble and glad faith to the ONLY one who can bring relief. I bring those my heart loves to the Father by whom they are even more beloved. I lift these precious people up for his love, even as a child comes trustingly to a parent for the fixing of a broken toy, or comforting of an injured sibling. If I am tempted to fix them myself, or to try and wrestle God into a solution of my own making, I will only become distressed and weary.

Father God, I come in love and thankfulness for those whom you have given me to pray for. I rejoice in all that they are, and all that we share as your children. Above all I give thanks that you know their need and are already at work to meet it. I thank you that your will is more glorious and generous in its outworking than I can begin to imagine, so that I don’t need to try to find the answers but simply lift them to you and cry, “Father, it hurts!”.

 

 I ask Thee for a thoughtful love, through constant watching wise, to meet the glad with joyful smiles, and to wipe the weeping eyes: and a heart at leisure from itself, to soothe and sympathise.

(Anna Laetitia Waring, 1823-1920)

 

for the helpers…

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I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

(Ps 121.1&2)

God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honour to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it…. in the church God has appointed.. apostles, .. prophets, ..teachers, ..those having gifts of healing, those able to help others..

(1 Cor 12.24-26,28)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

(Col 3.12-15)

Today, in my weakness and distress, I have known gentleness and compassion. In my confusion, there has been one who understands. In my weariness, there has been one to carry, and think, and do for me.

Thank you, Lord God, for the one who ministered to me, who brought your kindness and patience, clothed in human form, and gave what I needed.

How precious it is, when God’s loving kindness is brought to us by a person, a pair of hands and a gentle heart; a listening spirit and wise counsel; a strong arm and the fruit of experience; a generous gift of time, talents or money which meets the need of the moment. How good it is, to reflect on the ways by which we have been helped, in great or small ways, all the days of our lives, and to recognise God’s good hand in these things.

How humbling it is, to see ourselves as others see us, in our frailty and changeability. How sweet to know that we are loved and accepted, with all our faults and that the veil of their love is drawn over our shame and it is hidden in the hearts of our nearest and dearest. We cannot be all-sufficient; we must accept our limitations and gracefully allow others to do for us what we cannot do. God has placed helpers in our lives, how stubborn and foolish it would be to refuse them the privilege of serving us, even as we seek to serve them!

How marvellous it is, to know that others are praying for us, and that often the help that comes is because of their intercessions and the mysterious providence of God, working all things together through time, across geography and in all human intention, to fulfill his glorious purposes. We cannot be all-seeing, all -knowing, but must trust ourselves to God each moment of each day, and therefore we pray for his provision for ourselves and others – for his help and direction to undergird our ways.

Lord God, almighty and all-knowing, ultimately all our help comes from you and we praise and thank you today for your care for us, the least and lowliest. 

We thank and praise you for those by whom you so often send your help, for our families and friends, for our fellow-believers, and for the random strangers who appear at just the right moment to help us in our need. May we never tire of saying “Thank you”, to your human helpers, as well as to you.

We confess again the sin of pride and independence which causes us to resent or resist the help of others, to envy their gifts instead of valuing our own, and to doubt your wisdom in creating us in the unique way that you have!

Thank you, most of all, for the greatest help you give us, in our Lord and Saviour Jesus, who gave everything that we might be helped out of our hopelessness, whose aid never fails, and who remains with us by his Spirit. In Jesus Christ, you came to us in flesh and blood, and in his name, we praise and thank you for all your faithfulness and mercy. Amen.  

Like sunshine after rain…

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Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long….Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord” – and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

(Ps 32.1-7)

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

(Matt 5.23&24)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

(Col 3.12-14)

It’s not nice… that moment when your heart contracts and it feels as though there is a stone in the pit of your stomach as you realise that – perhaps with the best of intentions – you have caused someone offence, inadvertently hurting and rousing them to anger. A relationship is put in jeopardy, and the time that elapses until reconciliation can be attempted feels like an eternity. The most disastrous potential outcomes play through the mind like a horror movie, and the nagging voice of doom is the loudest one in your head.

I have a choice in this situation.. do I react defensively? Do I try to protect my pride by justifying my actions and insisting that the other person is over-reacting or deliberately misinterpreting me? Or, do I ditch pride and do all in my power to be reconciled – confessing my fault (which means calling it by the right name, not disguising it under less offensive titles)? It is clear that Jesus calls us to the latter, and insists that when someone has reason to be offended at us, we should make the restoration of that relationship a priority above all else.

Needing to be forgiven is a profoundly vulnerable situation to be in; and as I consider how much I dread being in that position, and how awful it feels to wait for the other person to be gracious to me, fearing irretrievable breakdown in relationship, I wonder how often my offences against God have made me feel that way?

Have I become so used to the incredible nature of grace, the depth of forgiveness won for me by Jesus on the cross, that I no longer dread to offend my God? Do I presume upon the divine mercy? I hope not, indeed I pray – like David – to be forgiven from hidden and unwitting sins, which do not trouble me because I do not even recognise them. My shortcomings as a believer are still grounds for grief, confession and repentance, even as I rejoice in the forgiveness which Christ continually offers. How sweet to the spirit, how deeply healing, to bask in the light of a love which has chosen not to remember my sins, and to enter into a relationship with me.

When we choose to forgive one another, we extend this healing power to one another. When we choose to renew and restore relationship, we invite someone to grow in love and humility and commit ourselves to faithful pilgrimage alongside them. Forgiveness comes from a place of love, a desire to be in relationship – with God and with one another. Friends, let us not withhold this great gift from one another, but offer the inestimable blessing of forgiveness when it is asked of us, and let the light of God’s love shine through us to one another.

Wisdom for living…a constant prayer

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Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord. 

Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant….The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare…Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you.

(Ps 25.4-10,14&15, 20&21)

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it its the Lord’s purpose that prevails…The fear of the Lord leads to life: then one rests content, untouched by trouble.

He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honour

(Prov 19.21&23;21.21)

Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’s tales; rather train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

(1 Tim 4.7&8)

I am not by nature a particularly confident person, which has proved a help to me in many ways as a follower of Jesus. In my diffidence, I readily look to others for advice and help, distrusting my own wisdom and abilities. I love to be taught by people whose wisdom and gifts unfold scripture clearly and effectively; I enjoy sharing my thoughts with experienced and strong believers whose advice helps me to understand and think clearly about a situation. The fellowship of believers enables me to gain from others gift’s even as I serve them in different ways, and this is a great strength.

I recognise however that I cannot shirk responsibility for my own understanding of my faith and the life to which I am called, in response to the love of God to me in Jesus. I am gifted to a degree, and must put those gifts and abilities to work for my Lord, trusting that while I may not achieve much compared to others, yet I owe him my best. For this reason, I have loved reading in Proverbs over recent weeks, with the continual exhortation to gain and grow in wisdom, and repeated assurances that this is pleasing to God and beneficial to myself but also to my fellow believers. Psalm 25 is a hymn to the God of wisdom, celebrating his gifts to us and praying for that teachable spirit which is humble and open to correction. It reads to me like a song for my life, a life-long learning of what it looks like to live as a forgiven and transformed human being.

In desiring wisdom for living, we seeks to grow in godliness, so that all we say and do are glorifying to our God, and beneficial to those around us. And as I grow older, I am aware that others might give my words more weight than they should, simply because they think I am wiser – let alone being the minister’s wife, which some seem to think gives instant spiritual discernment (sadly not!). I want to grow in confidence that as I speak and act, God is working in and through me to his glory and the growing of his kingdom. I want to grow in assurance that I am helping not hindering his work and that I am responsive to the Spirit within as I speak to others of Christ and the kingdom. 

Let us then continue to pray for wisdom, to trust that God is teaching us as we study the scriptures, and cheerfully speak and act as those who are saved and forgiven. As we cherish the love of God in Jesus, as we rejoice in the righteousness of the Almighty, we will live to honour him and prosper in his riches – the only ones that matter. We will know that peace which he alone gives, to those who depend upon him through every trouble and trust his plans and purposes to prevail.

 

On being confused…

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The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple…Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.

(Ps 119.130&133)

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God..

(Matt 5.9)

Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men I will disown him before my Father in heaven. Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth I did not come to bring peace, but a sword..Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me;…and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

(Matt 10.32-38)

Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eye-witnesses and servants of the word..Therefore ..it seemed good also to me to write an orderly account for you..so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught.

(Luke 1.1-4)

..these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

(Jn 20.31)

Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to come to the gospel without any background understanding or knowledge; no preconceptions or expectations, no ingrained bias or barriers to understanding..perhaps no one comes this way, since everyone has consciously or unconsciously made some deductions about how life works and what – if anything it means. But still I wonder, struggling to read the four accounts of Jesus life and ministry without hearing again the interpretations of past teachers, and trying desperately to learn for myself from the written record.

As a christian, Jesus is not only my role model for life, but also the one who by his Spirit lives in me to make that new life possible and desirable. I know, because the bible tells me so, that as I dwell on him, worship and love him, so I am being transformed into his likeness, and that this is for my highest good. But if this is so, then why do I find his teaching so puzzling? So much seems obscure, depending on years of study and intimate knowledge of the Hebrew Scriptures (OT) to be understood. Is it really meant to be so hard? Why do we hear of non-believers reading the gospel accounts and coming to faith, when I frequently come away bewildered and wondering what I ought to have learnt?

Perhaps I am simply intellectually too lazy to do the necessary work; perhaps my heritage does truly hinder me, as I am so accustomed to learning from the preacher, and not from personal bible study. But the fact remains that while I can read much of the scriptures to great personal benefit, finding encouragement and direction, when I come to the gospels, I am often baffled.

But I persevere, trusting that even what seem like superficial observations are worth making, and that in my own confusion, I might identify with Jesus’ disciples, who must often have wondered..Who is this man who first commends peacemakers, and then claims to have brought a sword to divide the closest families? Who is this man who shows love to the outcasts, and shockingly rebukes the religious leaders?

One thing is becoming very clear as I read in Matthew….Jesus polarises opinion, leaving no middle ground when it comes to our response. It is not possible to say, “Oh he was a good man, a great teacher”. His teachings are puzzling, challenging and disturbing. He speaks more about judgement and hell than anyone else in the bible. He claimed to be the Son of God, equally divine, with full authority over creation and the spirit world.

If I will not accept Jesus on his terms – as God; as the physical manifestation of the Almighty and Eternal Judge as well as the loving and redeeming Saviour; as the only true Lord of my life, before whom every other human tie or principal must submit; as the Sovereign whose ways are utterly beyond my finding out, and who must be trusted, not understood – then, I am rejecting him utterly, and in so doing, I am putting myself beyond the reach of God’s mercy. This was the tragedy of the Jewish religious leaders in Jesus’ day, that the Messiah whom they longed for stood before them, but because he didn’t fit their theology and expectations, they rejected him with merciless fury, and stood thus condemned before God.

Jesus says, “Take me, and you find God. Reject me, and God will not know you.” He will not force anyone to accept him, but if – as he claims – he is the only true way by which I may find hope, home and healing in God, then I must and will persevere in my quest to know and love him as he is. May God grant us humility and understanding as we feed upon his word, and are transformed by the Word into His likeness.

Not tame…but good!

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Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm…”Brace yourself..I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me if you understand…On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone – while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?..Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death? Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this…”

(Job 38.1-4,6&7,16-18)

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens.

(Ps 8.1)

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.

(Ps 19.1&2)

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see….By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

(Heb 11.1&3)

I do not see the point of so many things – slugs and midges, the common cold, why hair has to turn grey or fall out, hiccups and stinging jellyfish..I don’t understand so much of God’s ways in the world – tyrants, war and misery apparently unchecked, human morality veering ever further from God’s principles, God’s apparent inaction in the face of people rejecting and reviling him. And I also don’t understand beauty, the persistent presence of goodness, truth, kindness and selflessness in the midst of chaos, pain and darkness.

But Jesus never said we would understand – he reminded his disciples that their faith should be like that of little children, who depend implicitly upon those who have power to protect and provide for them. Our faith in God is not because we understand what he is doing right now, or can predict what he will do next – we are not qualified to participate in the divine work at that level! Ours is a humbler role – which presumably is why humanity as a whole rejects it, our pride rebels against things we cannot understand and (by implication) control.

By faith, we depend upon God to be true to himself – the character revealed in creation, in scriptures and uniquely in Jesus himself. We do not and should not try to comprehend him, but rather recognise the wild, glorious goodness and power revealed in the Maker of this incredible world; who yet is also the crushed and bleeding man upon the cross.

In his Narnia books, CS Lewis cautions us against trying to fit God into our own image and understanding, as through the character of the great lion Aslan, he reveals one who is good, and yet not tame, one before whom we will rightly fall in trembling worship only to find ourselves utterly secure and safe in his presence.

When I am overwhelmed by the weight of the world’s troubles, tempted to doubt and despair, feeling helpless and ashamed that I cannot see God’s transforming work and have no answers to give to those who mock my faith – then I focus on two things. Firstly on the marvellous universe in which we live – God’s magnificent challenge to Job brings me such fierce joy as I share some of my Creator’s delight in the mysteries of the physical world. Secondly on the cross – the place where almighty power appeared in absolute weakness and conquered sin and death for ever, where the wild, unimagineable power of my God was fully revealed.

Let me be content to be mocked by more sophisticated minds, as I choose to make this God my foundation for life and hope. Let me be steadfast in reverent worship of the one who called the morning stars into being, and who has walked the recesses of the ocean! Lord, let me have total confidence in you; for although your ways are wild and strange to me, yet I believe in your goodness, because of Calvary. How I long for the day when  your name will be vindicated before all people; when your justice will be celebrated not derided and when faith will no longer be needed, for we shall see and live with you for ever….come Lord, come soon!

When the world shrinks..

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Yet I am always with you, you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

(Ps 73.23-26)

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

(Matt 6.31-34)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. …I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

(Phil 4 4-6,12&13)

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

(Jas 4.14&15)

One of the most interesting lessons to come out of these strange days when the entire world is almost ‘on hold’, is the sense of learning to live one day at a time. For many believers in the developing world, this is a reality which they have no trouble inhabiting, since poverty, climate change, war and other factors make each day a fight for survival. Their faith in the God who loves and sustains them is humbling, a quiet rebuke to those of us whose lives are clothed in (to them) unimagineable luxury and security, and whose faith is perhaps less vigorous as a result.

Do I really mean it when I sing with the psalmist that ‘earth has nothing I desire beside you?’. Am I really choosing to live each day as if it were my last, and I am mindful only to be glorifying and enjoying God?

All of us are facing a very real grief for aspects of our lives which have been lost in the current situation. I think it is important to recognise and allow this to happen – the important thing is to bring the grief to God and ask him to keep the wounds healthy and clean, free of resentment. We will not get these days back again – days which should have been spent with loved ones, getting to know new babies, saying farewell to the dying; days set aside to be holidays and festivals, celebrations and joyous experiences; days which should have been spent away from home pursuing particular interests, opportunities for service.

We have a choice, in our confined condition, as our world has shrunk to our four walls, our immediate neighbourhood, to a future void of plans and only the shadows of anticipated pleasures which will not now be ours. We can choose to accept that since God is sovereign, good and just, he knows and is control of all that is happening. He knows our grief and loss, but he also knows that we can cope with his help, and find contentment – trusting that even our wounds can be a blessing. Or we can choose to resent all that we have lost, to disbelieve God’s goodness and faithfulness, and infuse our mourning with bitterness and self-pity.

Heavenly Father, thank you that we can come to you in our grief for all the many things which are not to be ours after all; for the days which cannot be recovered and which we had anticipated with so much pleasure. Thank you that you know how we are made, and you understand the wounds we carry and the temptation to resent what you are permitting in these days, to wallow in self-pity and choose sullenness.

Lord, in your mercy help us to choose instead to delight in what you have given – to remember our riches in Christ first and foremost, but then also to see so many other good things which are ours. Help us to accept with humble and reverent hearts that your will is the best place for us, even though we may not understand it, and even as we grieve, may we do so in a way that glorifies you and honours you. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, Amen.

A turning of the tide..?

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For our offences are many in your sight, and our sins testify against us. Our offences are ever with us, and we acknowledge our iniquities: rebellion and treachery against the Lord, turning our backs on our God, fomenting oppression and revolt, uttering lies our hearts have conceived. So justice is driven back and righteousness stands at a distance; truth has stumbled in the streets, honesty cannot enter. Truth is nowhere to be found, and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey.

(Isa 59.12-15)

Jesus replied:”‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.

(Matt 22.37-40)

Jesus…said to them, “If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

(Jn 8.7)

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

(1 Jn 1.8)

Imagine…living in a society where no one assumed on the basis of a person’s colour that they were shiftless, dangerous, amoral or greedy.

Imagine…living in a society where the process of justice was applied fairly to everyone, regardless of their colour, background, education and wealth.

Imagine….living in a society where people were able to make fresh starts, to be forgiven and given grace to put the past behind them.

Imagine….living in a society where we could celebrate the marvellous things which make us different, because in every way they enrich us as a whole.

I believe in a kingdom where this kind of justice reigns; where this kind of love and forgiveness is available; where this kind of society can exist. And I recognise with deep sadness just how very far I am from being the kind of person who belongs in that kingdom – my place there is assured to me solely on the basis of Jesus’ sacrificial death on my behalf. I acknowledge with shame that I am part of a nation and culture whose wealth and privilege is built upon the suffering and exploitation of other human beings, and that those people have been ignored in our telling of history – it has not been true. Hypocrisy, greed, pragmatism and disdain for the image of God in our fellow human beings has been the characteristic of so much national and individual behaviour. And I have chosen to ignore the stories which tell the truth, in order to avoid being upset by it – where is my love for my neighbour, that I cling to my own comfort at the expense of their pain being prolonged and disregarded?

The sin of suspecting, mistreating and exploiting my neighbour must be recognised, called out for what it is, and repented of. I know that it may take me the rest of my life to root it out, but I also know and thank God that I may be forgiven for this sin too, and enabled to live differently in the future. Racist thoughts and actions are not beyond the reach of God’s forgiveness, and I believe that in my life – and perhaps at last in society at large – the tide may begin to turn and this gross offence against the image of God in each of his children will finally begin to be addressed.

I am not proud of the truth of my nation’s history in abusing my brothers and sisters around the world. But I am able to boast of a gospel which comes to each of us with hope for forgiveness and transformation, and which will bring God’s children from every nation, colour and tongue to worship at his throne one day.

I have been privileged to worship with fellow believers from Asia, Africa and Latin America, and to receive their loving welcome and hospitality to me, to be loved and to love in return. They choose to receive me as a sister, not to make assumptions about me based on my race – and I humbly thank them for not re-telling stories of exploitation and oppression, or assuming that I will behave in the same ways.

May I be quicker to listen, and slower to speak; eager to learn and less willing to teach; keen always to honour God by loving his children and by doing what is in my power to change my culture and see the values of God’s kingdom being lived out.