Category Archives: confidence in God

Travelling light?

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Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children – and with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

(Ps 103 1-5&13-18)

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

(Matt 6.19-21)

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

(1 Tim 6.17-19)

In the last few years, I have moved house twice, and also been involved in clearing out houses belonging to other people. It is a sobering experience to be faced with the quantities of stuff which human beings can accumulate, and the result for me has been a strong desire to reduce my personal quota of earthly treasures, and thus the burden which will fall on someone else when I am gone! As a believer in Jesus, one whose life is already established in the kingdom of God, I have full confidence that I can lack nothing which I need. I also know that I will take nothing with me into glory! How then, will I choose to live in the meantime? What is my attitude to the belongings which I cart about the world with me?

I want to live with open hands, in full and regular acknowledgment that it is from God alone that my security and comfort comes, not from my things. I want to recognise and give thanks for the gifts which I receive from God through the kindness of others, and their care for me.

I am not preaching some severe message of austerity, nor even of total minimalism, just wanting to explore what it means for me to live lightly, gratefully, and expectantly, not continually dragged back into the past or weighed down by possessions and the burdens they present. I think it was the late Mahatma Ghandi who encouraged people to “Live simply so that others may simply live”, and that idea – taken together with William Morris’ dictum, “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful”, creates a useful base for me as I sort through cupboards, boxes and the forgotten heaps lurking in corners.

Missionary folk who have to move house, across continents, regularly, have learnt this lesson, and know that they can let go of possessions, even precious ones, and yet know joy and peace, and thankfulness! I don’t want to be afraid of letting things go in the future, so I need to practise doing it now.

I have found that the hardest things to dispose of are the personal ones – the birthday cards, the scrawled childhood drawings, the photographs…. They remind me of times and people, which is a good thing; but that doesn’t mean I need to keep them! I am particularly keen to foster in myself an attitude of expectation, not of reluctance. As a child of God, whose future is secure in glory, in a life and realm which is good and beautiful, productive and satisfying beyond my imagination, I want to nurture hope and not to keep harking back to ‘the good old days’, which may indeed have been lovely, but which will not bear comparison to what is in store for me. The best is truly yet to come, why then should I regret the past?

Dear Father, I am so thankful that you know me through and through, and you are full of compassion and love for me and every one of your children. Thank you for all the good things which you have blest me with down the years.

Help me to be grateful, over and over again, and to let go of the stuff which ties us to the past. Stir up in me a hunger for you, and as I grow older, let me become more and not less expectant of the wonderful life which lies ahead, where there will be no partings, no grief, no need to keep things to help me to remember!

Let me carry with me only the deepest gratitude for all your kindness, most of all in the saving work of Jesus my Lord, in whose name I pray, Amen.

The right kind of invasive species!

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Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.

(Ps 1.1-3)

“Listen then to what the parable of the sower means…  The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

(Matt 13.18,22&23)

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious; sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

(Gal 5.16-26)

The bible is full of horticultural imagery and we are familiar with trees of many kinds, vines, crops of barley and wheat – and the whole range of activities that go with those things – being used to explain important things that God wants his people to know. But last week at church, I had a fresh insight into a particularly familiar picture – the fruit of the Spirit as Paul describes it in his letter to the church in Galatia.

As believers in Jesus, we want to become like him, to reflect his glory and be his people in this world, for the building of his kingdom and for our blessing. This transformation is the work of the Holy Spirit, whose delight it is to remake us from within, steadily eliminating all that is unbecoming to a child of God. And now, thanks to that sermon, I can picture the Spirit’s work as being like a plant which has arrived in an unattractive spot, full of weeds, only to steadily grow and spread, gradually starving the competition of light and air and water, so that finally there is nothing to else to see except that Spirit-infused, fruitful and beautiful tree!  A powerfully invasive plant, in the right place, is a marvellous thing, and I find it most helpful as an image of what is happening, by God’s grace, in my life.

It is God’s planting, the indwelling Spirit of Jesus, which is transforming us as we keep asking God to change us, and guide us; as we receive the means of grace; as we read the bible and expect to find God speaking of his love and purpose to us. This is the life of Christ, Holy Spirit-planted, sending up shoots and flourishing so vigorously that other things are starved of light and nourishment and die – only divine love is powerful enough to drive out the lesser things.

In his parable of the sower, Jesus warned that some people might receive the good news of salvation in his name and yet find their hope squeezed out by care. We are thus advised to take care that we focus our attention on the planting of the Spirit – the good news and all it means for us. If I focus on what remains – the weeds – then I neglect what has come, and it will not thrive. BUT, as I depend on God and focus on what has been given, he will be faithful and I will become a place where his goodness can be seen, and my life can be a window into his grace for others.

I want to be that kind of person! To live under the leadership of the Spirit of Jesus, by faith being intimately connected to my Lord, becoming so drawn and motivated by his love that I long and delight to do his will in every situation.

Almighty God and everlasting Father, I rejoice to be one in whom the likeness of your Son, Jesus, is growing under the guidance and life-giving power of the Spirit. I delight to be the craftsmanship of the Trinity, and to know that your power in me cannot be thwarted, as I depend upon you day by day.

Let your planting in me flourish, spread and bear fruit, so that as time goes by, all that is unbecoming is starved out, and all that is Christ-like grows more vigorous. For the sake of my Lord I pray, and in his name, Amen.

Graceful acceptance….

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Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” I say of the holy people who are in the land, “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.” Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods or take up their names on my lips.

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay.

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

(Ps 16)

Seize life! Eat bread with gusto, drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes – God takes pleasure in your pleasure!

Dress festively every morning, don’t skimp on colours and scarves. Relish life with the spouse you love each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange for the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one! Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily!

(Ecc 9.7-9; Message)

One of the most endearing traits of childhood is the complete absorption of the individual in the moment – whatever is happening to them completely fills their minds and nothing else matters. I see this in my own grandson as he reacts to new experiences and sensations with a stillness and attentiveness which speak of soaking in everything that is happening.

I believe that this childhood characteristic is one which our heavenly Father desires us to know too – and it is possible because we are so securely loved and provided for by Him. Our identity, security, salvation, eternal future are all in His hands, and our daily lives are sustained by Him on the planet, in the universe, which all continue to exist by His will alone. He has promised that no matter what happens in life, we are never beyond his loving presence and care – and the fact that this may be hard to understand in situations of tragedy, horror and suffering doesn’t detract from its truth. And in addition to these things, we also have all the joys of life on earth, among the beauty of the natural world, with so many things to give us pleasure and satisfaction as we accept them as God’s gifts to us.

I don’t want to miss this goodness! I want to find and celebrate every good thing which my Father has lovingly placed in my way today, resting deeply in the abundance and letting the beauty soak into my spirit, informing my praise and my trust in God’s goodness and faithfulness. I cannot possibly carry in my memory everything that happens, but I can choose to recognise each jewel-like gift with humble delight, and let the brightness and glory colour my thinking and fix my mind in an attitude of thanksgiving.

Heavenly Father, I am full of a deep and sparkling joy – like a river running golden with sunlight over many-hued stones, and murmuring contentedly as it goes. My path in these days is free from so many sources of anxiety and pain, and is so hemmed in by beauty and contentment that I am filled to overflowing with thankfulness.

I know that these days may not last; I know that many suffer around me; I know that I will know trials of many kinds and once day will face death. And yet, I know too that it would be churlish and stupid to fail to recognise and rest in your goodness to me. I thank you for making me able to see and receive so many gifts – for the senses which connect me to creation, for the relationships which connect me to your image-bearers, my fellow human beings; above all I thank you for the gift of your life in me, through faith in Jesus. Because I am your beloved, adopted, Spirit-inhabited daughter, I KNOW to whom I come with this huge burden of gratitude! I come to my Father, whose arms are wide open in welcome, and whose delight in my delight is unbounded.

Thank you for all your goodness, may I continue to have grace to accept it without qualification, receiving every single part of what you want to give me with childlike openness and attention. I pray and ask this in the name of Jesus, your son my Saviour, for his glory, Amen.

Let my thanks be unconditional!

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Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

(Eph 5.19&20)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Phil 4.4-7)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

(Jas 1.17)

How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you….. Love the Lord, all his saints!… Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

(Ps 31.19,23&24)

“I only deepen the wound of a hurting world when I neglect to give thanks.”

(Anne Voskamp: One Thousand Gifts, 2010, Zondervan)

Do you ever catch yourself quietly nit-picking God’s ways with you? That little internal conversation that looks at all the abundance of daily grace and says, ‘yes, that’s all very well but what about….?’

I realised recently that this regrettable and rebellious attitude had become strongly established in my own heart, and I am praying for discernment to recognise, and strength to repent and turn away from it. Faith does not pick holes in God’s goodness – for if what God reveals about himself, in his word and especially in Jesus, is true then there are no holes to be picked! Faith rather acknowledges the struggle and chooses to affirm in the face of doubt that God’s goodness is measureless, and that I will always have reason to give thanks. In  my own griefs and sorrows, I can trust the God who went to the cross for me in order to do me good – such love will never fail to do the right thing, and my lack of understanding can be overcome and quietened when I recall how clearly and completely that costly love is shown.

This inability to be unconditionally grateful goes way back to the beginning – remember that Eve was tempted to believe that God was holding back something really good? The same old story still works doesn’t it? We become determined that unless God gives us what we want – what we think is good – on our own terms, and timings, then we aren’t going to trust him, and all our thankfulness becomes polluted and qualified by criticism and a lack of true faith in his goodness. Who do I think I am to question the ways of the Almighty? – Job would certainly point out to me the folly of thinking along those lines!

Yes, there is a time and a place to bring to my Father all the burdens and questions of my heart – but in an attitude of expectation, not judgment and criticism. There is a time and a place for lamentation when my experience is bitter, when pain persists and there is no healing of the wounds and no resolution to the conflicts. And the psalmists have shown us how those laments are healthily handled – in the presence of the Almighty, in an attitude of openness to hearing his voice and a willingness to be reminded of his faithfulness and also his magnitude, his entire ‘otherness’, his transcendence.

He is God… and I am not. I am the creature of his loving hand, his adopted child, the object of his cosmic saving work, a precious jewel in his heart – can I not learn to trust his ways with greater constancy? I live in a world of wonders – from the intricacy of my own anatomy, to the measureless depths of the universes and galaxies beyond my world; I daily rise to breathe, move, give and receive love, experience beauty, and know joy. I have so much to give thanks for, and when I choose to reject the voice of criticism, to see it for sin and choose instead the loving, exulting acceptance which is proper to a cherished child, then I honour God aright.

Almighty and Loving Father, I confess as sin the ways that I resent and criticise your handling of my life, and of this world. I repent of my rebellion and recognise that you are God and I am not.

I ask the aid of your Spirit to soften my heart and change my thinking, so that my response to all your goodness becomes unconditional and unqualified. Let me choose to believe good of you always, and to trust you more fully when your ways are so far beyond me that I cannot see good in them. Let me remember that I can always give thanks, for I am forever your child, and you are forever faithful, true and good.

I can always rest in the loving presence of my Saviour, who showed me just how much I am loved, and how your power is always at work for good. Thank you that I pray in his name, and am heard for his sake, and for his glory I pray these things, Amen.

All shall be well…

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This is the message we have heard from [the Word] and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness..

(1 Jn1.5-9)

Through the love of God our Saviour all will be well;
Free and changeless is his favour, all, all is well:
Precious is the blood that healed us; perfect is the grace that sealed us;
Strong the hand stretched forth to shield us; all must be well.

Though we pass through tribulation, all will be well;
Christ hath purchased full salvation, all, all is well:
Happy still in God confiding, fruitful, if in Christ abiding,
Holy, through the Spirit’s guiding; all must be well.

We expect a bright tomorrow; all will be well;
Faith can sing through days of sorrow, all, all is well:
On our Father’s love relying, Jesus every need supplying,
Then in living or in dying, all must be well.

(Mary Peters, 1813-56)

Sin is inevitable, but all shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

(Revelations of Divine Love, Ch 27 – Julian of Norwich)

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves..” I am so comforted by these words from the beloved apostle, John, as he writes to encourage believers in their faith, and in persevering through life’s trials. We DON’T need to pretend that we are perfect, we are invited rather to come as often and as freely to our Father for forgiveness as it takes – for all the days that remain to us. As Julian of Norwich puts it, “sin is inevitable but all shall be well”, and why? Because our God is in the business of grace and mercy; of transformation and re-creation; our God loves us with an irresistible love and He will surely and finally deliver us to dwell forever in the freedom and joy of perfect communion with one another, and above all with Him.

Our sin is met by God’s faithful justice – and because in Christ our sin is paid for, we are forgiven. In justice, God cannot require payment from us for the debt which Christ has paid already. Not only so, but in justice to the complete work of Christ – the defeat of all that had kept us dead in sin – God’s faithfulness and love move him to the work of purification, so that as we walk down the years, we turn more and more often in praise and thankfulness, and less and less often in confession of sin. We are being changed, and will ultimately reflect Christ in all his glory and purity, because that is the work to which God has committed himself. His power is in and for us in this transformation – we do not have to fight against the remnants of sin in our own strength, or face an unequal struggle against the powers of this world. We are enlisted on the Lord’s side, and the victory has already been won – we stand because he fights.

This glorious doubly effective work of God – to forgive AND to purify – is the foundation of our lives as believers, and the basis of our assurance that, whatever comes to us, all will be well. The hymn which I have quoted this week is a beautiful statement of that assurance, and all the more precious as it clearly has nothing to do with my feelings about my life, or the things that are happening around me! It is very, very good for us to have songs and hymns which focus on the character of God, on the completed work of Christ, and on the things which are eternally true. God-orientated songs help us to get a true perspective on our situations, and to realise afresh how great is the power, glory and majesty of the One whom we worship – how beyond worthy of all our praise, and how utterly amazing it is that we should matter to him!

Sisters and brothers, let us encourage one another, because truly, all must be well!

Lost in translation…

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Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing …. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing – nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable – absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our master has embraced us.

(Rom 8 38-39; the Message)

O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I’ll bless his holy name! O my soul, bless God, don’t forget a single blessing!…..

God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges for ever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins.

As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him. He knows us inside and out, keeps in mind that we’re made of mud. Men and women don’t live very long; like wildflowers they spring up and blossom, but a storm snuffs them out just as quickly, leaving nothing to show they were here. God’s love, though, is ever and always, eternally present to all who fear him …God has set his throne in heaven; he rules over us all. He’s the king!

(Ps 103, extracts; the Message)

A few weeks ago, I woke in the early hours of the morning and found myself unable to get back to sleep. My mind was full of questions, fretting over issues – none of them actually urgent, and all quite reasonable – and getting into a real state of anxiety and self-condemnation as a result. I decided to get up rather than lie and fight with my rebel-thoughts, and as a result, I heard a  blackbird singing in the darkness, singing because he knew the dawn-light was coming.

O Lord, my compassionate Father, I want to be like this bird, confident in your love in spite of the darkness of grief, sin and evil in this world; at peace and able to surrender the illusion that I have control over my life. Let my mind and heart be gripped by your love so that I grow in wisdom and hope, resilience and usefulness. Let me not fail to know your love even when circumstances seem to conspire against it, and when my spirit quails. Lord , you know that it is hard to believe in your personal love when my life hurts and I am filled with fear, or when I see loved ones suffer and walk away from you.

I read and believe in the truth of the gospel, it is my foundation for life and all my hope is in Jesus. Yet I can’t seem to translate the great truth of that love down into my daily struggles, the need for decisions and action, the continual distracting effect of the pressure of other lives upon mine. I have to be present with people, with my own body in its roles and responsibilities – and when I am present, I seem to have forgotten about You; I just can’t hold the big stuff and the small stuff together in my mind, and it is a bit discouraging. 

How does the reality of my Father’s eternal and secure loving grasp on me get translated into life as a sinner among sinners? How does it make a difference? Perhaps simply asking this question on a regular basis is a good thing, because it forces me to recognise my need for God, and my own inability to do what I desire apart from him!

O Lord, have mercy on me and teach me, make it real for me. I need you to make a difference in all my life – in how I live and deal with an ageing body; in how I live within my marriage and family; in how I resolve tension and make decisions (small and large) about all the practical details and patterns of life. The big picture is so beautiful, but Lord, I can’t just sit and look at it all day every day!! By your spirit, please enable me to be ever more conscious of your presence even as I am immersed in the busy-ness of my life.

So be content with who you are.. God’s strong hand is on you.. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. 

(1 Pet 5.6&7; the Message)

Thank you Father that you provide for the gritty realities of our lives, and that your grace never fails. Each new day brings us new opportunities to prove your love, receive your grace and grow in trust. Thank you that it isn’t a one-off thing, but a continual process; help me to go on casting my cares on you, make it my constant practice, a liberating discipline which gradually becomes instinctive, so that your loving care for me is the foundation from which I face each day’s messy reality. Let the great gospel truth so completely permeate my thinking that there is no longer a disconnect between my knowledge of your love in Christ, and my attitude to the smallest challenge. Unify all that I am in godly obedience and joyful trust, for Jesus’ sake, Amen

Reacting to fear…

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The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

(Ps 23)

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I myself will help you”, declares the Lord, your redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

(Isa 41.13&14)

This is love; not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins…If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us… There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…

(1 Jn 4.10,15&18)

The valley of the shadow is the natural home of fear, the habitat of malice and evil. In shadowy places, we feel vulnerable and cannot see what might be pressing close around to threaten us. Fear comes when I feel unsafe, when I or those I love am threatened in any way. Fear is defeated when the threat is revealed to be weaker than I thought, or when something stronger than the threat is discovered which will act to overcome it on my behalf.

In this world of broken beauty, where sin continues to exist, we are all vulnerable and will suffer in many ways. But the gospel teaches me that for all who are safely hidden with Christ, nothing can actually deprive them of that which matters most for eternity – the love of God and our inheritance in glory. The testimony of God’s saints down the generations is that no matter what else it touches, evil cannot touch my salvation. In this overarching view of our lives, it is clear that God’s perfect love for us has the power to drive out all that causes us to fear. But on a day-to-day basis, I know that I continue to be afraid – what am I to do with that fear?

I was recently deeply encouraged to realise that I don’t need to feel guilty about feeling fear.. that may sound foolish, but am I the only one who gets cross with themselves because my knowledge of God’s perfect love somehow doesn’t stop me getting fearful? Surely our faith is in the ongoing work of God in our lives, and like everything else, our fearfulness – a legitimate response to real threats – is actually part of how we are made, a useful tool if we know how to use it, in navigating life with our Lord’s power and presence. It doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in God’s perfect love for me! It is in the very perfection of that love that my hope lies – for my fears as well as for every other aspect of my life until I go home to glory and am fully perfected myself. My God is patient, and knows how I am formed. My Lord knows what it is to be human, to grieve, to fear, to hurt, to hunger, to agonise over the trials of loved ones – all the deepest travails of humankind are held continually up for the compassionate and unfailing love of the Father to be met.

Since then I AM loved perfectly, my ‘fear-reaction’ becomes a spur by which I am driven to meditate on the love and trustworthiness of God, to remember that Christ meets me in my troubles and has known human suffering. IN all the muddly mess of my reactions to threats and grievous wrongs, I am met by God’s loving kindness, patience and understanding. Is this not good news for fearful souls like me?! Fear becomes a means of blessing to me, so its power is stripped away and I am released to walk on in faith. Throughout scripture we find exhortations to God’s people not to be afraid – our frail humanity is met with such gentleness, and never condemnation, only the encouragement to step out in faith and prove God!

Great Shepherd, I do believe your powerful presence is with your people in all their daily walk, and in the darkest valleys which they may walk. I want to walk fearlessly, but I know all too well that my fear erupts spontaneously and can be so hard to combat.. Let me not give up hope of learning to cling to you in my troubles, in such faith and dependence on your love that the fear is drained of its poison and blinding power, and I can indeed walk on, in your strength and your victory over evil. You will deliver me through all my dark valleys – whether I walk, or crawl, or am carried in your strong arms!

Getting straight

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

(Prov 3.5-6)

The Lord is my light and my rescue. Whom should I fear? The Lord is my life’s stronghold. Of whom should I be afraid?

Though a camp is marshalled against me, my heart shall not fear. Though battle is roused against me, nonetheless do I trust. One thing do I ask of the Lord, it is this that I seek – that I dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the Lord’s sweetness and to gaze on his palace.

For he hides me in his shelter on the day of evil. He conceals me in the recess of his tent, on a rock he raises me up. And now my head rises over my enemies around me: let me offer in his tent sacrifices with joyous shouts. Let me sing and hymn to the Lord.

Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in wrath. You are my help. Abandon me not, nor forsake me, O God of my rescue. Though my father and mother forsook me, the Lord would gather me in.

Teach me, o Lord, your way; and lead me on a level path because of my adversaries.. If I but trust to see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living – hope for the Lord! Let your heart be firm and bold, and hope for the Lord.

(Ps 27.1, 3-7,9-11,13&14; R. Alter translation)

I am grateful that the word of God to his people is a living word, a never failing source of nourishment, refreshment, compassionate and firm correction, direction and confidence. I love that I can read the words from Proverbs quoted above, and then in the writing of a wise and faithful servant of the Lord, find a quite fresh perspective on living in this troubled yet wonderful world.

I used to read those words and then try to work out in my own mind just how God would answer, how the problems might be resolved, so that I could see straight. But that is both foolish and unrealistic! I am very small, and this world’s troubles are very big, incredibly confusing and interconnected. Even the immediate issues which impinge on my life and cause me immediate distress are still completely interwoven with the lives of others, so that it is simply impossible that I should be able to sort them out with complete justice and love! What a relief, then, to recognise that God is not calling me to solve the problems, but to act in faith and love, doing the next thing as He reveals it to me.

To fully trust in the Lord is to recognise that only He can and does fully comprehend the global picture; and then to depend on Him to be at work to care for his precious sheep in the midst of that massive, messy, muddly mayhem. My own understanding looks at it, and is overwhelmed, and defaults very quickly to fear and distrust. But I must learn to take myself straight to the Lord, and to confess my complete lack of true understanding, and the deceptiveness of the small amount that I do understand. My calling is to ask for and obey the instruction of God in my small corner of His great big world – believing that even the smallest constructive action on my part has its place. And as I read, “[my]call to love will never be as big as what is wrong”*. Isn’t that a huge relief?!!

The problems are very big, and making my path straight isn’t about solving them, it’s about asking God to deal with them and meantime asking him what small things I can be doing to obey, to love and to glorify God as I follow him through His ways. This takes a huge weight off my shoulders, and also corrects my false expectations about how God deals with the realities of life – its not all about sorting things the way I want or predict, it’s about trusting that His ways, while beyond me, are nonetheless just, good and constructive.

Heavenly Father, I praise and thank you today, because my troubles are on Your shoulders, together with all the weight of this world, because You alone can bear them. Thank you that I am not tasked with solving the problems, but with obeying you, and constructively loving others as You direct me.

Thank you that as I bring all the mess and muddle before you – all my various ‘ways’ – so you will direct me clearly, making my path straight and leading me through the trouble according to your purposes. Straight doesn’t mean easy, but it does mean achievable even for me, since You know my weakness and frailty. Keep me from inventing my own paths, and deceiving myself into thinking that my ways are better than Yours! In the precious name of Jesus, I pray these things, Amen.

*quote from ‘Take heart – Daily devotions to deepen your faith’, by David Powlison, published 2022, by New Growth Press.

Do the next thing..

Drowning the noise…

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Why do the nations conspire, and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the Lord and against his Anointed One. “Let us break their chains, ” they say, “and throw off their fetters.”

The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoffs at them. Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, “I have installed my King on Zion, my holy hill.”

(Ps 2.1-6)

You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Hear my prayer, Lord, listen to my cry for mercy. When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me. Among the gods there is none like you, Lord; no deeds can compare with yours. All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, Lord; they will bring glory to your name. For you are great and do marvellous deeds; you alone are God.

(Ps 86.5-10)

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone – for kings and all those in authority, that we may lie peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good and pleases God our Saviour, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

(1Tim 2.1-3)

How long, O Lord, must the earth raise such a din of defiance and despair to her creator?

How long, O Lord, must the weak endure exploitation and the strong become ever more intoxicated and deceived by their power?

How long, O Lord, must the truth about your King, the Lord of Love and Peace, of Justice and Wisdom, be drowned out by the strident triumph of evil as it harnesses human weakness to its own ends?

How long, O Lord, must your faithful people strain to hear your summons to truth, to trust in Christ, to believe that you are truly on the throne and that your kingdom will prevail?

How long, O Lord, must we stick our fingers in our ears in order to shut out the scornful, acid-dropping mockery of our neighbours, loved ones and all those who condemn our folly in trusting that there is any reality beyond this physical world? 

Father, I am so tired of trying to believe your promises; trying to believe that in spite of all that I see and can’t help seeing, yet Christ is on the throne, and you will prevail. The noise is exhausting, and so hard to block out – I feel like a fool when I try, like an ostrich sticking its head in the sand and hoping the darkness and the fury will go away if I pretend it isn’t there..

I DO believe that Jesus came to die for this broken world, so beloved by you. I DO believe that one day all will be made new, and that the din will be silenced, to be replaced by the songs of your redeemed and the renewed, full-throated praise of the whole creation as we rejoice together in the age to come. BUT I am so tired now, so very tired of trying and failing to hold together your promises and my lived reality.

In my weakness, Father have mercy and hold me fast. In my confusion, Father have mercy and speak clearly through your word. In my bruised and battered senses, cowering under the onslaught of darkness across our world, Father have mercy and open my eyes afresh by your Spirit to the beauty of this world as it speaks of you; open my mind to discern that your power is undiminished and you are at work. In my smallness of vision, and narrowed hopes, Father have mercy and speak truth – so that I might not dishonour you by faithlessness or despair. Even as the prophets spoke amid ruin, cruelty, loss and fear – boldly proclaiming your covenant love and power for your people, promising a future eternal kingdom and perfect king – so let me hold fast in the midst of darkness, proclaiming the light.

Let me learn from your apostles, who went to a world full of darkness, with good news, and whose focus was not on political regime change, or peace-movements, but on gospel proclamation and living. Let me learn to be more urgent and earnest about sharing Jesus than about anything else, and thus be an instrument fit for your purposes. Let my enemy not disable me through despair over this world when you have revealed your eternal victory over all evil. Oh Lord, let me not give way, but be kept firm in faith and hope and love, for Jesus’ sake, Amen

Losing it.. or gaining it?

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And God spoke all these words: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me.”

(Ex 20.1-3)

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. you guide me with your counsel, and afterwards you will take me into glory. 

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.

(Ps 73.23-26)

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself an take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”

(Matt 16.24-26)

“The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me.. My Father will honour the one who serves me”

(Jn 12.25&26)

I have always loved the words of psalm 73, where the author speaks so passionately about his hope in God, and boldly asserts that nothing else really matters to him compared to knowing that this almighty and eternal being is also the One who cares for and keeps hold of the psalmist. When life is calm and comfortable, it can be easy to speak these words, and to believe that I mean them, since my heart’s desire truly is to honour and love God above all other things or beings. But God takes us at our word, and through the circumstances of our lives, He will give us opportunities to put this claim into practice, to learn what it really means to desire God more, and to hold everything else lightly.

As I grow older, and my friends also age, I am watching life become more and more challenging. I see bereavement, chronic illness and pain, the persistent straying of children from their faith, the natural effect of ageing which diminishes strength and capacity, and can even rob us of our identity as our minds succumb to disease. I see people being steadily stripped of all that defined them – their relationships, their hobbies and activities, their service in the church community, their fitness, their cognitive abilities, every semblance of control and agency. What remains? What is the believer being called to do in this season of loss?

The gospel tells us that of ourselves, we have nothing which can win salvation, no merit except what we are offered by God’s grace in Christ Jesus. We are perhaps used to that idea – of having nothing to offer – but how do we react when God chooses to give us the opportunity to live it? This stripping away of all that we naturally hold dear – so many of God’s good gifts, by which He has blessed us and enriched our lives, and enabled us to live and serve him joyfully down the years – what is this season offering me? What am I being invited into?

All that ultimately belongs to me is my identity as God’s child; only His claiming and redeeming of me gives me any significance. But that significance – by His grace in Jesus – is eternal and is the source of life, the life that is real, the divine life which equips me to share in my destiny as God’s child with him in the new earth and heavens. This cannot be stripped away, not even by the loss of cognitive ability which may come to me. This cannot be lost through bereavement or physical degeneration and the limitations of age-related illness and weakness. I AM and always will be, beloved and secure and at home with my Lord, and one day will know the fullness of that life where sorrow, pain and loss are unknown, and all that seems to be lost to me now, is more than restored.

I believe that as I age, and experience all the stripping away of cherished roles, gifts, experiences, I am being offered the opportunity to depend in a wholly new way on the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father, and to rejoice in my identity in Him. As I face loss, I am invited to gain in intimacy with God, in peaceful acceptance of His providence, in mature faith which sees the ever-brightening future glory and trusts for the daily gifts of strength and endurance, joy and hope to reach it.

Dear Father, thank you that you know how much your children shrink from suffering of all kinds, and in your mercy, I pray that we will find help and grace in our time of need. Let our ageing, and all that it brings, work your will in our lives. As we lose, so also may we gain. You have promised that those who follow you will be with you, and that promise is our hope.

Give us daily courage and strength to trust you; in our grief over loss, may we keep on turning to you for aid, to keep us faithful and hopeful, obedient and surrendered to your will. May we prove your faithfulness as we enter this season, and find that although it may look like a wilderness, yet you bring springs of living water to our lips and songs of joy to our hearts as we taste and see how good You are. May we have the honour of witnessing to your faithfulness, and saying with the psalmist that although our heart and flesh have failed, yet you are our all-sufficient portion, for ever. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.