Category Archives: obedience

I travel in safety..

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On the day the tabernacle, the Tent of the Testimony, was set up, the cloud covered it. From evening till morning the cloud above the tabernacle looked like fire… Whenever the the cloud lifted.. the Israelites set out; wherever the cloud settled, the Israelites encamped. At the Lord’s command the Israelites set out, and at his command they encamped… Whether by day or night, whenever the cloud lifted, they set out. Whether the cloud stayed over the tabernacle for two days or a month or a year, the Israelites would remain in camp and not set out; but when it lifted, they would set out.

(Num 9.15,17-18,22)

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

(Ps 3.3)

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favour as with a shield.

(Ps 5.11)

Depart, depart, go out from there; touch no unclean thing; go out from the midst of her; purify yourselves, you who bear the vessels of the Lord. For you shall not go out in haste, and you shall not go in flight, for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.

(Isa 52.11&12)

One of the most powerful images to describe our lives as believers in Jesus, is that of pilgrimage – a journey towards a goal, sometimes in company with like-minded travellers and sometimes alone but always with purpose. The famous book “Pilgrim’s Progress”, written by John Bunyan, is an exposition of our lives as we travel from unbelief to faith and finally to glory, exploring the various trials and challenges we may face along the way. Although the style may seem dated, the subject matter and the truth it describes remain relevant for us today.

We are travellers – either towards home with God in glory; or towards some God-less existence in an eternal self-determined exile. We are travellers going with different speeds, facing different challenges and succumbing to different weaknesses, sometimes we even stop moving, but the path remains, and the call to keep walking along it.

The words quoted from Isaiah are a call to respond to the saving work of God’s great anointed Servant, our Lord Jesus, in repentance (a coming ‘out’ from the world’s way of doing things) and in obedient pilgrimage to our eternal home and heritage as God’s people. The language is a deliberate echoing of the Exodus experience of the people of Israel, reminding Isaiah’s hearers of that journey by faith through troubles and trials, when God was ever present with them to lead and provide. However it also echoes the language of priesthood, calling us to let God’s word purify us as we go, continually letting go of those things which remain of sinfulness in thought, word and deed. An additional motivation to become purer as we travel, comes in the reminder that we now bear the holy things of God as his priests – his voice in the world, those who live for him before other people. We carry the Holy Spirit, we are the bearers of the good news of Jesus, it is for us to live in ways that honour God’s name since it is now our name too.

It is a lot to remember each day as we get out of bed, and it is a huge challenge as we are well aware of our own weakness, and the hostility of the world to the gospel that we bear. But, as we go, we are also assured of God’s presence with and protection of us – those who bear his name and who love him with true sincerity of heart are also under his special care. We are not running in terror of our lives, but walking calmly, committed to holiness and obedience and at peace because God – the Creator, the Sovereign God Almighty is our leader and our guard.

These words were given to me this week by a good friend, and I share them with you as the basis for prayer:-

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me.

Almighty God, thank you for calling us into pilgrimage from darkness to light, from grief to glory in your house.  Let us live as pilgrims in fellowship, in service, in faith and in readiness to move or stay as you direct.

Thank you for your protection over us, your presence with us and the confidence we can have in you as we look to you each day for what we must do.

As we travel let us go in faith, leaving those we love in Christ’s hands, putting our own hand into His as our guide; and looking to find the work He has prepared for us to do by the strength we receive from His indwelling spirit. In the name and for the sake of Jesus our Lord, Amen.

A daily, hourly decision…

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“Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven… Anyone who loves their father or mother… their son or daughter, more than me, is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

(Matt 10.32,37&38)

[Jesus]  told them what they could expect for themselves: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat – I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.

(Lk 9.23&24, The Message)

Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honour the one who serves me. Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour?’ No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”

(Jn 12.26-28)

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

(Heb 12.2&3)

When the will of God crosses the will of man, somebody has to die.

(Addison Leitch , quoted by Elisabeth Elliott in Passion and Purity, 2nd edition, 2014)

What does it mean to walk in ‘the way of the Cross?’ It is no uncharted road, although for each of us the particular features of the landscape through which we walk might be different. It is a road clearly marked out for us by Jesus, and the only way in which to truly live as one who has crowned Christ as Lord in their heart. It is a path which requires us continually to say – with Jesus – ‘Father, your will be done, not mine. Glorify your name in my life.’

To walk in the way of the Cross is to admit before God that my own desires are tainted and unreliable as a guide, that sin has cut me off from right-thinking and choosing, that I cannot trust myself to see what is good and what is evil. It is to return to the choices in Eden, and instead of stretching out my hand to take what is forbidden, I put my hand into God’s hand and ask his help to accept his definitions of good and evil.

If Christ died to save me, so that I can live in God’s love for ever, then surely I am motivated to surrender to his Lordship in all of my life. It is both a sacrifice of self and a joyful offering of my desires and will to God, as I learn to put His will first and centre.  Unwillingness to surrender will indicate those places in my life where I am denying Christ’s authority, and failing to trust in his love and goodness. Is Christ Lord of my budget? Is He Lord of my affections? Is He more precious to me than ambition or a good reputation and popularity in my community?

As we grow in faith and maturity as believers, God shapes our desires and wills, and we become increasingly like Christ. Many of our decisions and actions are good and just, and we are living gracious, God-honouring lives. But there will always be more to let go, and fresh occasions for surrender. As we keep focussing on Christ and his resolution to submit entirely to God’s will, do God’s work and seek God’s glory, we can be encouraged. It was not easy for our Lord,  so he understands how we struggle and shrink from the pain that God’s will for us may entail.  He also shows us that there is joy in such costly obedience and an eternal reward to be enjoyed. 

Friends, let us pray for grace to discern where self is masquerading as wisdom, prudence and even kindness to others, so that we may follow Christ to the place of surrender and reject our wills where they contradict God. Let us pray for strength to endure, and faith to motivate our daily choices – believing that when God says this is best, he can be trusted…

The Scottish minister, George Matheson, wrote of this paradox of losing one’s life to find it in this classic hymn of dependence and commitment:

Make me a captive, Lord, and then I shall be free.
Force me to render up my sword and I shall conqueror be.
I sink in life’s alarms when by myself I stand;
Imprison me within thine arms, and strong shall be my hand.

My will is not my own till thou hast made it thine;
If it would reach a monarch’s throne, it must its crown resign.
It only stands unbent amid the clashing strife
When on thy bosom it has leant, and found in thee its life.

(George Matheson 1842-1906)

In the world and not of it…

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Now Daniel so distinguished himself …… that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. At this, the administrators and satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent. Finally these men said, “We will never find any basis for charges against this man Daniel unless it has something to do with the law of his God.”….

At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lion’s den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, “Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?” Daniel answered, “May the king live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, Your Majesty.”

Then King Darius wrote to all the nations and people of every language in all the earth: “May you prosper greatly! I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel. For he is the living God and he endures for ever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end. He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions.”

(Dan. 6.3-5,19-22,25-27)

[they] questioned Jesus: “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” He saw through their duplicity and said to them, “Show me a denarius. Whose image and inscription are on it?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. He said to them, “Then give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

(Lk 20.21-25)

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest… But now my kingdom is from another place.”

(Jn 18.36)

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

(Col 3.23&24)

As members of God’s kingdom living in a fallen world, our purpose is to serve others and use our gifts according to the opportunities given to us. We serve whole-heartedly – God first and under his authority, the governments and institutions which he has appointed to create justice, peace and an environment for human flourishing.

We are at his disposal, and called to be active in his name and for his glory. We can give freely to our families, communities and employers, serving our Lord in all we do, looking to him for reward and seeking always to honour and bring him praise. We have gifts, time and strength, and it is good to know God’s pleasure as we surrender these things to him and see them being used. It is good and right to enjoy what we can do!

For some this will mean accepting positions of leadership and governance – an exposed and dangerous place – we must pray for them! In our day and age it can be career-ending to express an opinion which goes against popular culture, and will certainly result in public vilification and abuse. In spite of faithful service, and a blameless record, it will be in our loyalty to God, and the moral judgements and actions which we take on that basis, which will bring trouble upon us. Daniel was victimised, framed and condemned to death for putting worship of the living God before obedience to the king’s commands.

When the world around begins to demand what we cannot give – ie our loyalty to God as lord of our lives, and the commitments which go with that – then we resist. Our loyalty is first to our heavenly king, to his kingdom. When Jesus was put on trial, he was obeying the will of God, living according to the values of that kingdom. As his followers, we too may be called to such costly obedience – many in our world are suffering and being martyred for this allegiance to the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. In that context, our service to God is our willingness to suffer, a sacrifice of costly obedience to him and the trust that Daniel displayed when he entered the den of lions, or Queen Esther, when she risked her life to intercede for her threatened people.

Doing the right thing doesn’t always end ‘well’ in human terms, although for both Daniel and Esther, it did and not only were their lives spared, but God was honoured by the outcome of their trials!  However, we are assured of an eternal reward and the knowledge that God will use all we give – service and sacrifice – for his glory.

Holding my line..

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“.. listen obediently to God, your God, and keep the commandments and regulations written in this book of revelation. Nothing half-hearted here, you must return to God, your God, totally, heart and soul, holding nothing back… And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God…

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today: I place before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life… And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself, a long life…

(Deut 30.10,16,19-20)

Do you hear lady wisdom calling?.. right in the city square where the traffic is thickest, she shouts, “You – I’m talking to all of you.. –  I’m telling you how to live well, I’m telling you how to live at your best.. Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me, awake and ready for me each morning, alert and responsive as I start my day’s work. When you find me, you find life, real life, to say nothing of God’s good pleasure..”

(Pr 8.1,3,6,32-35)

“I am the good shepherd. I know my own sheep and my own sheep know me. … My sheep recognise my voice. I know them, and  they follow me. I give them real and eternal life.

(Jn 10.13&27)

I am a choral singer – that means I sing with lots of other people, not necessarily at the same time or in the same notes.. one of the most important skills we have to develop is to hold our own lines against others when they are doing totally different things from us! It struck me at a recent rehearsal – where not only the other singers but also the orchestra are doing things that clash horribly with my line of music – that this discipline and skill of both finding and then sticking to my own line is a metaphor for the life of a follower of Jesus in a world of hostility to the gospel.

From the very beginning of the story – when Adam and Eve chose to listen to a different voice, singing a different tune – it has been clear that who we listen to will have huge consequences for us and our eternal wellbeing. By listening to, and acting in agreement with, the voice of the serpent, Eve set in train events which are still being played out today. She and Adam knew the voice of God, and chose to listen to another instead.

God has always given his people freedom to listen to other voices, but if we choose to follow their advice, or stop listening for his voice, then we will be heading for trouble. A singer has to listen to all that is going on, but if they are to hold their own line, there will be certain chords and notes which will give them the cues they need and the support to keep going as the composer intended they should! Do I know where to find those cues among the cacophany of other voices which bombard me all the time, suggesting that God cannot be trusted, that Jesus is a myth, that religion is a private thing and not to be talked of, or that it is dangerous and something to be ashamed of?

Followers of Jesus listen for his voice – we turn to the records of his ministry, to the letters of his disciples, to the Hebrew scriptures from which he quoted and where he saw himself foreshadowed. We listen for his voice in scripture, and we listen hard, so that every tone and characteristic becomes dear and instantly recognisable, no matter what else is going on.

Followers of Jesus also listen for each other – just like the others in my particular section of the choir. We hear one another, we depend on one another’s discerning and ability to hold the tune against others – as a group we are so much better and stronger than on our own. In the same way, I am weakened in my faith-listening if I never do it with others, I make myself so much more vulnerable than I need to be!

Almighty God, give your children the will and the discernment to listen out for and fix upon your voice among all that would distract us. Bless us with companions who desire to listen to you, and who will help us to remain faithful to your tune, your rhythm, your composition for this world and your work in it. Help us, if and when we stumble in our line, to realise quickly that we are astray, and to listen with fresh hunger and desire for you, so that we return to your path and glorify you.

Just… tired

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You pushed me into this, God, and I let you do it. You were too much for me and now I’m a public joke.. all I get for my God-warnings are insults and contempt. But if I say, ‘Forget it! No more God-messages from me!’, the words are like a fire in my belly, a burning in my bones. I’m worn out trying to hold it in. I can’t do it any longer.. Oh, God of the angel armies, no one fools you. You see through everyone, everything… I rest my case with you.. Curse the day I was born! The day my mother bore me – a curse on it I say!… Why, oh why, did I ever leave that womb? Life’s been nothing but trouble and tears, and what’s coming is more of the same.

(Jer 20.7-9,12,14&18, the Message translation)

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

(Matt 13.44-46)

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?

(Matt 16.24-26)

I cannot unsee what I have seen. I cannot unbelieve what I have believed. I cannot undo a life of willing and glad surrender to a loving Father. I do not want to do these things, in the deepest places of my spirit, I am bound absolutely in love to my Saviour, and worship with gladness. And yet, I am so tired. I never realised properly before that this is what it means to bear a cross daily – to live as one belonging to another kingdom, who must yet be fully alive to all that is wrong here and now, and suffer all the evils of this broken world.

On the one hand, I know myself beloved, redeemed, securely bound for an eternity and fulness of life beyond my dreams – free from burdens of guilt, free to love and forgive others, free to spend myself for them knowing that there is one who cares for me more than any human creature ever could.

On the other hand, I live with a weight of knowledge – of sin and judgement to come; of the impending departure of so many precious souls to eternal exile; of just how badly broken this world is, and how there is no hope for it apart from Christ; above all, of my own failure to be what I desire to be for him. I live with the reality of prayers which appear unanswered; of the disastrous consequences of human sin, and the deafening noise of suffering on every hand.

I am near to be crushed by the guilt which comes over me when the burden of daily realities is so much more present in my mind, so much more effective in setting my attitudes and influencing my feelings. I am ashamed that I, for whom life has been so smooth and easy, should be finding faith such a struggle. Where is the victorious life of the disciple? Where is the ability to rejoice in trials; to fix my eyes on God’s promises and thus to find joy and hope in the present? The disconnect between how I ought to live, and how I actually live is so great. I could find it in myself to envy the birds, the dumb beasts, all the lively creatures which glorify God by being, and have no spirit to discipline and subdue, no will to wrestle back into obedience. I know that I do sometimes wonder at the cheerfulness of unbelieving friends who seem to navigate life – and often troubled lives – with a spirit of optimism and lightness, unburdened by faith. Why should faith be such a heavy weight to bear, when it is also such a blessing?

Lord, I am just so tired of fighting to be faithful in face of grief, and loss; to be hopeful in the face of profound discouragement; to believe in the teeth of denial that you are at work and doing good things.

I am ashamed of this weakness, and yet convinced that you – who walked this earth, bearing in your body all our human experiences – do indeed understand and have compassion on me. I do not want to dishonour you, but to learn how to walk humbly and fruitfully through this shadow place in trust and obedience. Show me ever more clearly what is mine in my Saviour, that I might value him ever more highly as my treasure beyond price and infinitely worth persevering for. Stir up my desire for a closer walk with you, may your Spirit within enable a cheerful and persevering spirit, to cast out the weariness and lassitude which drain hope and joy. Have mercy Lord, Amen.

I’m waiting…. God?

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You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart.

(Ps 32.7,8,10&11)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.

(Pr 3.5-7)

Paul and his companions travelled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.

(Acts 16.6-10)

Things don’t always happen the same way twice; and we need always to be open to that in our life of faith.. Paul the great apostle and teacher is off on another missionary journey, bringing good news to people in need, hungry to make disciples for Jesus and to found new churches. He has experience and wisdom, he’s done this before and knows the pattern… but this time something different happens. The actual words of the account in Acts are frustratingly vague to us, we want to know just how the spirit kept him from preaching in Asia; how did he know that it was Jesus who was guiding and restraining him from doing what he had always done before? But the effect was to drive Paul and his companions right to the edge of Asia, where at last they received a clear and direct call to ‘come over’ into Macedonia, into the European continent, to preach the good news. 

Do you, like me, find yourself rather envious of this account? How good it must be to have such absolute conviction about God’s leading in one’s situation – this strong constraint, followed by a vision, not even just a hint or an inclination but a person standing there saying, “come!” Many of the characters whose stories are preserved for us in the bible have experiences of being led in dramatic ways, by dreams and direct messages from God, and yet for many of us, nothing like this ever seems to happen and the whole business of guidance can become a real testing-ground of faith as we wait and ask, and ponder and ask, and wait again…. how long can one wait?

Life can’t be put on hold, decisions and plans must be made about future commitments and current responsibilities. While we live day to day in God’s providence, we have to make plans for the future as a basis for decisions now. How do we do that when there is a sense of total uncertainty about what lies ahead? At some point, choices must be made, and a path taken or not taken, which will have implications for us and other people.

I believe the Lord knows this, and that in these small immediate decisions, we must trust him to be at work directing us even when we are uncertain about the big picture. As our hearts seek to serve him, will he not honour that desire in us and straighten the path out before us as we take the small steps right in front of us? We do need to be aware that God may call us in unexpected directions – are we open to the possibility that our previous experience and expectations are to be overturned as God restrains our effort to go in the ‘sensible and likely’ path? Paul was not wrong in desiring to preach in Asia, it was sensible and good, and fitted his own expectations. But God had bigger plans, which required Paul to be humble enough to set his own expectations aside and to refrain from good works in order to do the best work at that time, which was to go to Macedonia. 

Father God, thank you that you have given me a desire to serve you. Thank you that I can know you have prepared good works for me to do for you. Thank you that you understand my longing for clear direction, and how difficult it is to live with uncertainty. Let my waiting on you not be a fruitless thing. Let me wait in confidence, give me wisdom to use the opportunities you give me now. Have mercy on my weakness and straighten the path under my feet, so that I might walk according to your will and glorify you in my life. For Jesus’ sake, Amen.

Relationships, not rules..

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..Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your god my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me , be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.”

(Ruth 1.16&17)

Therefore, I urge you, sisters and brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual or reasonable act of worship.

(Rom 12.1)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

(Eph 6.25-27)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds the all together in perfect unity.

(Col 3.12-14)

We recently completed a short study in the story of Ruth, and as I came to write this blog about sacrificial living, it struck me that she is the embodiment of what Paul wrote about. Ruth freely chose to embrace uncertainty, danger, poverty and alien status – why? She committed herself to loving Naomi, whatever it took. Her whole being was involved in that commitment, she left nothing behind in Moab, and so far as we can read in the story, never looked back in longing for her ‘freedom’. This was unconditional love in action, a rather one-sided relationship perhaps at times, where Ruth got virtually nothing in return. But she never seems to have wavered in her commitment and faithfulness, and as a result, her story is one of the most beloved of all scripture, her character held up as a pattern for us to follow and admire.

Ruth personifies for us the love of God, ultimately revealed in Jesus; the mercy which Paul speaks of in the letter to the Romans. It is a pattern of living which brings life and hope and love to those who need it so badly, and asks nothing in return but the privilege of serving. If our Lord and Saviour, who lived a perfect life which glorified God – and thus worshipped His Father- then why should not we follow that example. In this way, we too may worship God most acceptably. And this kind of worship has little to do with an hour in a building once a week, and everything to do with the kind of people we are every hour of every day in every place which we go.

What might sacrificial living look like for you and I today? There may be seasons in our lives where the needs of others will be clear – dependent children or relatives, neighbours who have a call on our time and abilities – and then out of love for them – not because somehow by serving them we gain credit with God – we give and serve in love. At other times it may be less obvious, but as we offer our gifts, money and time to God, he will show us where they are to be used – for the body of Christ in the church and in the wider world. We all have something to offer, and we can all receive from others as they serve us!

It can feel frightening to commit to unconditional love – and it goes against the grain of much contemporary culture. We fear being trodden underfoot, left behind in the race for self-fulfilment and success. But we are not called to measure success and fulfilment as the world does. When we look through God’s eyes, we see clearly that our human measures are false and temporary. True and lasting joy, fulfilment and success come as we follow the servant-King, looking to love, not merely obey rules. It is not in some ‘rub-my back and I’ll-rub yours’ sort of transaction that we live lives of worship and love. Rather it is as Christ lived – pouring himself out unstintingly, and trusting God for the outcome – for himself and for others.

Measuring ministry…

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He said to me, “You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendour.” But I said, “I have laboured to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due to me is in the Lord’s hand, and my reward is with my God.” And now the Lord says – he who formed me in the womb to be his servant to bring Jacob back to him and gather Israel to himself, for I am honoured in the eyes of the Lord and my God has been my strength – he says: “It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.”

(Isa 49.5&6)

Jesus called [the disciples] together and said,”.. whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

(Matt 20.25-28)

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant… he humbled himself and became obedient to death..

(Phil 2.5-8)

Followers of Jesus, people of the Way, called to a life, not merely an intellectual creed or habitual observances. My faith, unless it be manifest in works – in ministry and a godly life – is dead. But do you find it difficult to discern sometimes what your ministry is? It may not involved anything explicitly evangelistic, no teaching and training of disciples over text books and bible commentaries. You may not be the one who leads children’s work or speaks boldly at every mission prayer meeting… that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a ministry, a role to which God has called you and for which you are given strength, insight and perseverance each day. In fact, there may be several things going on at once!

The work of child-rearing; of house-keeping; of integrity and compassion brought to the daily tasks of your employment; of volunteering  among your community; of caring for elderly relatives and neighbours; of cleaning up toilets and washing dishes; of doing DIY and gardening chores for others; of praying in private, again and again and again for the lost sheep of the Great Shepherd. All of these are ministries, and there will be so many more, reflecting the gifts, situations and opportunities of God’s children around the world. Let us pray for one another, and encourage one another in these less visible ministries, where our service for the Lord is not under a spotlight, but is nonetheless our opportunity to delight in copying Jesus’ servant heart and humility.

In our human frailty, we long to be rewarded, praised and recognised for our contributions, and to see fruit for our labours. I think our Father knows this, and therefore he also understands when our particular ministries don’t seem to bear fruit and we are tempted to be discouraged. We can pray for one another here too – let’s be honest about our discouragements, in order that we may serve one another faithfully by restoring our focus on Jesus. We are called to serve, but we are not promised an experience of the outcome of our service. We may never see fruit for our labours – does that mean they are worthless?

By no means (as Paul would say!). As the passage from Isaiah says, our reward is surely in the Lord’s hand – to be kept for us until his good time. He decides what fruit will come, and whether we should see it or not. Perhaps it is better for us – sparing us the danger of pride and self-conceit – to be delivered from success in the world’s eyes. Perhaps we couldn’t cope with the potential shipwreck of our faith on the admiration and praise of other people!

Loving Heavenly Father, thank you that in Jesus we have a perfect example of life and ministry to follow. Help us to sacrifice our pride, our desire for human praise, even our natural hunger for fruit for our labours, at the feet of Jesus. It is our privilege to serve in his name, to love in his strength, and to seek his glory. When others see fruit, receive praise and even perhaps take credit for our labour, let us humbly rejoice that you are over all, and that you have a greater reward than we can possibly imagine awaiting us in glory. Make us content with whatever you choose to give, or withhold, so long as you fulfil your purpose in us. For Jesus’s sake, and his glory we pray, Amen.

Obedience in the face of uncertainty

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As for me, I trust in You, O Lord. I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand – O save me from the hand of my enemies, my pursuers. Shine Your face on Your servant, rescue me in Your kindness… Be strong, and let your heart be firm, all who hope in the Lord.

(Ps 31.15-17&25, R Alter translation, 2007)

The Lord performs righteous acts and justice for all the oppressed. He makes known His ways to Moses, to the Israelites, His feats. Compassionate and gracious, the Lord, slow to anger and abounding in kindness. He will not dispute for ever nor nurse His anger for all time. Not according to our offences has He done to us nor according to our crimes requited us. For as the heavens loom high over earth, His kindness is great over those who fear Him… As a father has compassion for his children, the Lord has compassion for those who fear Him.

(Ps 103.6-11&13, R Alter translation, 2007)

Then Eli said, “he is the Lord; let him do what is good in his eyes.”

(1 Sam 3.18)

Joab said, “..Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.”

(2 Sam 10.12)

“Remember this, fix it in mind, take it to heart, you rebels. Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.”

(Isa 46.8-10)

We can always know what God is like…. we cannot always know what he will do… I was struck recently by the reminder that we are called to trust in God in the same way that a very small child trusts in its parents – a trust which depends not on understanding the circumstances and giving an intellectual assent to particular actions, but a trust depending entirely on belief in the one who is making the decisions.

The pages of the Hebrew bible are full of stories which illustrate what happens when people – just like us, who have days when they seem on fire with faith in God, and days when they live as though he didn’t exist – have to choose whether to trust God, or to take matters into their own hands. It doesn’t end well when we try to take control, and although God redeems these situations over and over again, the painful and obvious lack of trust remains a problem. Do we trust God because we think he will do what we believe is right? Because we think we can direct and control him through our devotions, our doctrine, our liturgy (or lack of it), our fasting and praying?

Friend, think again if you are ever tempted to entertain such ideas. God owes his creatures nothing. God is utterly beyond our comprehension, coercion, and cajoling. His goodness, power, holiness and justice; his vision of what is to come, is so much greater and more glorious than we can imagine – how could we possibly know what is good and right for ourselves in this particular circumstance, when our lives are totally enmeshed in the lives of countless other people? God’s goodness is of another quality entirely, not based on human notions of indulgence, treats, or even prosperity, health and long-life. God’s goodness is working relentlessly to save all those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life, whose home is eternity and who are being transformed into the image of Christ day by day.

Today, I am called again to trust in God, not my own beliefs about him or denominational dogma and practice. I am called to trust all that I cannot know about him, all that lies hidden by the brilliance of his holiness, otherness, eternal nature and divinity.

Today, I can trust him, can step out in obedience into the unknown, can launch into deep waters with confidence, because he has promised to be loyally kind, utterly faithful in finishing what he began – ushering in a new creation, my future home, where I will dwell with Christ in glory. It is my part to obey, and his part to see that all things do indeed work together for my good – even if that doesn’t look good in the world’s eyes, or feel good to me.

The Lord will indeed do all that he pleases – will I trust and obey, working with him? Or will I fight, resist and make harder for myself and others along the way, losing all opportunities to bring him glory as my trust in him is revealed to be well-grounded?

On being set aside…

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“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”

(Job 1.21)

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

 (Phil 4.9, 11-13)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God… Endure hardship as discipline… God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees!

(Heb 12.1,2,7,10-12)

The missionary Amy Carmichael wrote, ‘in acceptance lieth peace’, and surely this is the key to those seasons in our lives when all our plans are thrown askew by unplanned interruptions, and especially when through illness or accident, we are left by the side of the journey of life to watch and be waited on by others, wondering what our purpose is and fretting over those tasks undone.

The intellect may have assented to the proposition that my health, talents and productivity are all surrendered to God, to do with as suits his divine purpose. But when I am called to live out that surrender with a quiet heart and a cheerful face, the reality can be quite different. How can it be that God wants to suspend my useful activities? How can it help his purposes for me to be unable to labour with the talents he has given? It is extremely tempting to believe that without my particular input, nothing can usefully be achieved, and that somehow, by my inactivity, I am failing God, my neighbours, and his kingdom-building work.

All of these thoughts demonstrate that I haven’t really understood and accepted just what it means to fully surrender all that I am and have to God, to be used as he sees fit. If the Creator and Lord of all wishes to lay me aside for a season – whether long, or short – that is his business, and mine is to accept his decision, to look for his lessons for me in this time, and to expect that he has things for me to learn and do even in this unwelcome inactivity. Some of God’s most productive saints have been those who have embraced his unexpected, apparently limiting, plan for their lives – consider Joni Eareckson Tada, wheelchair bound and crippled for life, who has been enabled to minister to hundreds of thousands of people, sharing the love of Christ through her weakness.

Perhaps I need to learn to be served, to embrace the humility of asking for assistance and graciously waiting until someone is able to give it. Perhaps I need to learn again that I am not the only person who can do my tasks, or that they are not quite so important as I like to pretend they are. My true worth lies not in how significant my labours are, but in my Lord’s love and sacrificial death for me. If I were to be laid aside for the rest of my life from active service, yet I know that his love and delight in me would be undiminished.

Perhaps I need also to learn a deeper sympathy and compassion for those who are truly limited in their activity – the long-term housebound, those with life-limiting conditions. Lord, let me take to heart the frustrations, losses and narrowed opportunities which are mine in these days, so that I might be more sensitive and imaginatively loving to those who are denied so much all their days.

Above all, perhaps I can live more slowly and deliberately, willing to be quiet and still, to truly see the beauty around me, the good things with which I am so well supplied, and to be profoundly thankful as I consider from whom all has come.

May I accept this discipline from my Lord with grace and cheerfulness; trusting that as he has called me to it, so he will give me the strength to bear it with a stout heart and in hope that it will not be wasted. May I look for and learn the lessons he has for me in it, that I may come through stronger in faith, and more able to serve, glorify and love him in the days ahead. As the clouds of heavenly witnesses testify with glad shouts to the faithfulness of the Lord, may I be encouraged to prove for myself by obedient acceptance, that he is indeed worthy to be praised.