Category Archives: honesty

When I feel so useless..

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Declare what is to be, present it – let them take counsel together. Who foretold this long ago, who declared it from the distant past? Was it not I, the Lord? And there is no God apart from me, a righteous God and a Saviour; there is none but me…

“Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and  carried since your birth. Even to your old age and grey hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. 

I am God, and there is no other; I am God and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please… What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do… I will grant salvation to Zion, my splendour to Israel.

(Is 45.21; 46.3&4,9&10,13)

“When [our plans] are interrupted, his are not. His plans are proceeding exactly as scheduled, moving us always (including those minutes or hours or years which seem most useless, or wasted, or unendurable).” (Elisabeth Elliot; 1926-2015)

The sun is splitting the skies, the birds are singing and there is a tangible excitement as spring dances on the edge of our days, with so much light and colour and the promise of more to come.

And I am unwell; confined to the house; moving stiff and carefully; sleeping badly and feeling as though my world has contracted to a tiny space. What will I do with this challenge? Last week, I wrote that our speech and actions should not be determined by our circumstances… and now I am labouring to prove the strength of the Lord in pursuing patience, gentleness and acceptance of his plan for these days.

Such situations are always a good exercise in recognising how our ego likes to continually add up ‘worth-points’, totting up every activity on some invisible register which somehow makes me significant or valued by God. It is humbling when – as now – there is nothing to add up! Will I accept that for the moment, my Lord asks me to embrace inactivity, weakness and discomfort, and in and through those things, to find ways to praise him? There is so much to be thankful for; will I poison those good things by resenting what God has chosen to withhold? And surely that would show clearly that I value the gifts much more than their giver..

So often in these situations, I go to Elisabeth Elliot’s strong spiritual sense – she never pretended to anyone that being a Christian would be a bed of roses, and her uncompromising words brace me, showing me the truth – that my furious rejection of this season of illness is simply a tantrum of self, and a refusal to trust that God is good, and has a right to do as he pleases with his creation. I am not indispensable, and I am loved, saved and accepted not because of what I do, but because of Jesus’ love and death for me.

I have been brought into relationship with the God of creation, the Almighty and eternal One in order that I might share in his great purposes for the kingdom of Jesus. Do I believe that He will complete what He has begun? If I do, then my own part – anything which I can do is a privilege and not a means of earning my place – is entirely up to God to direct, and certainly not up to me to dictate! Pride and self-importance have no place in this relationship, all comes to me as God’s free and loving gift. The challenging and austere words of William Law show me how I can truly glorify the Lord in the trials of this time.. and also show me how very far I am from that state of highest faith and deepest trust.. may the Lord have mercy and sustain me to glorify him in whatever he may decree should lie ahead.

“Receive every inward and outward trouble, every disappointment, pain, uneasiness, temptation, darkness and desolation, with both thy hands, as a true opportunity and a blessed occasion of dying to self, and entering into a fuller relationship with thy self-denying and suffering saviour.

Look at no inward or outward trouble in any other view, reject every other thought about it: and then every kind of trial and distress will become the blessed day of thy prosperity. That state is best, which exerciseth the highest faith in, and fullest resignation to God.” (William Law; 1686-1761)

When it’s far from merry and bright

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The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour…. and you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God..

Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.

(Isa 61.1-3,6&7)

“And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.”

(Lk 1.76-79)

The story at the heart of our celebration of Christmas is not about families round a table, or about friends enjoying a night out. The story is not about comfort and plenty, about noise and colour, making merry and eating fine food. The story is not about prosperity and wealth, or about privilege and ease. The media creates unbearable expectations around Christmas, piling image upon image, until we are swamped by the false story they are selling and telling us. For many, those false and unrealistic stories are creating an agony of isolation, driving people to despair as they see the difference between their lives, and the media’s stories.

I sometimes wish that I could rule the airwaves, and the internet for a day, to give the truth about Christ’s coming a chance to be heard! But each of us in our own lives and communities has the opportunity to do that – to share the message and to be the voice which – like John the Baptist – tells others of the rising sun, the one who comes to shine light in our darkness and to guide our feet into the path of peace.

When you are alone, in pain; when hope is hard to find and the future is bleak – the message of Christmas comes for you to say that you are never alone, that the Lord God who made all things loves you and chose to take on human flesh to show that love.

When you are tasting a bitter cup of disappointed hope, failures and broken dreams – the message of Christmas comes for you to say that the Lord God has plans for you, eternal life in his kingdom where you will know and be known by him. He has glorious things in store for you to know and do and be, and your deepest longings will be satisfied as you commit yourself to him.

When family is a bad word, when your wounds are raw and deep, and there is no sign of reconciliation or flourishing; when those whom you loved best are gone and life is a daily struggle with the effects of their absence, rubbing salt into the already aching places – the message of Christmas comes for you to say that the Lord God has brought you into his family, into a place of love and belonging where you are accepted and welcome as you are. His tenderness is powerful to heal you, and his spirit is strong to change you, and he waits to be there for you in all the places where you most grieve those who are gone…

The heart of the message of Christmas is of God breaking into human darkness; of God’s love refusing to leave us in our lost condition. It is a message of hope for the bleakest situation if we will only receive it, and it is a message we can all share.

O Lord of the lost and lonely, Lord of the broken and despairing, Lord of those whose lives appear perfect but are in fact hollow and bitter: grant your people courage to speak the true message of Christmas, of hope and help and light and love; of stability and of lasting worth given to those in deepest need. May we have strength to resist the media’s message, and discernment to know when and how to share the truth. Thank you, for sending light and healing to our darkness, thank you for Jesus!

Where are you?

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Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

(Gen 3.8-10)

The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert…. And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”  “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” She answered. then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back… I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count.”… She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,”

(Gen 15.7-10&13)

Then a voice said to him: “What are you doing here Elijah?” He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”… The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came…. I reserve seven thousand in Israel – all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal”…

(1 Kgs 19.13-15&18)

O Lord, you have searched me and you now me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways..

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

(Ps 139 1-3,11&12)

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. so don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 

(Matt 10.29-31)

Does God ever lose people? Have you ever wondered just why, in the story of the garden after Adam and Eve have eaten the forbidden fruit and are hiding, did God ask where they were? Surely He knew?!

One of the most comforting – and challenging – things that we find about God as revealed in the scriptures is his omniscience, or all-knowingness. We are told that there is absolutely nothing – in any realm of creation, and inside our own minds and hearts – which escapes God’s eye and comprehension. There is nowhere, literally in anything that exists, which is not open to God. Think about that for a moment or two.. it means that when we shut up our shame over sin, or harbour grudges for the hurt done to us by another – we are wasting our efforts because God sees it all. It means that when evil, or good, are being conceived and carried out anywhere, by anyone, God sees it and can perfectly judge the true justice of every situation. Thus we can be both reassured – we are never lost to God – and challenged – since He clearly sees all our actions, thoughts and motivations.

So, I return to my question.. why does God ask where Adam and Eve have got to? Is it to gave them the opportunity to respond with the truth, to tell it like it is and acknowledge that they have messed up and are in big trouble? I think we can all agree that if a person is plainly in trouble, but refusing to accept that reality, then they cannot be helped. A person needs to acknowledge – to confess or call by its true name – their situation in order to be delivered from it.

When God says to you, or to me today, “Where are you?” what will be the answer? Am I at sea, amid great rolling breakers of pain or suffering which are like to swamp me? Then the Lord reminds me that he is greater than all that assails me, and his power is able to hold me until the stilling of the storm.

Am I part of a happy family party, celebrating connection, anniversaries, shared life and varied experiences? Then the Lord reminds me that all good things come from him, the Father of all, and that as I celebrate and give thanks, I give glory to him.

Am I astray amid doubts and weariness, or in a far country spending my life’s riches on those things which my culture and popular wisdom tell me will bring happiness? Then the Lord, when he calls, invites me to recognise the barrenness of my real situation, and to confess that I am hungry and thirsty the water of life, for the bread and wine of the covenant, for the only thing which will truly satisfy me – Jesus.

As I hear my Lord’s voice today, calling to ask where I am, let me be honest and by the help of the Holy Spirit, confess the truth and share my need, no matter how ashamed of it I may be. Jesus has made sure that my home is with him, and when he says that I matter to my heavenly Father, I can believe it. There is no need for any of God’s children to face life alone, He knows where they are all the time and is waiting to be invited to join them.

Praying in the face of disintegration

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O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief. Do not bring your servant into judgement, for no-one living is righteous before you.

The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead. So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.

I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. 

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 

For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.

(Ps 143)

Lord God, how far we have fallen short of your ways and your standards. Your people are weak from compromise with the values of a fallen world; tainted from acceptance of the lies of the deceiver; ashamed by our failure to live for you, to speak the truth about you, to be willing to suffer rejection for your sake.

For your name’s sake O Lord, preserve our lives, purify us and restore our zeal.

Lord God, how far the evil one has managed to entice us away from faithfulness, from unity, from the fierce love which fears nothing for the sake of the lost.

In your unfailing love, O Lord, silence our enemy in all his many forms, and lead us back into fearing only you, longing to please only you.

Lord God, how far we are buried in our shame, far from the confidence which belongs to the  beloved children of the Creator of all things and deep into the darkness of hiding from you as we let self-pity rule, instead of running back to you in repentance and exulting in forgiveness.

In your mercy O Lord, hear our cry from the darkness, and come to our relief. We deserve only judgement; in Christ, we receive grace and by him are restored to our place in your presence. Establish us firmly, keep us loyal and humble, and lead us according to your will for we trust in you.

I was privileged last week to spend some time with others in our particular denomination of the global church, time to share stories of encouragement and time to pray and together unburden ourselves to God. Our organisation is in a time of ‘re-structuring’, resulting from declining resources – it resembles more the implosion of a controlled demolition, and sadly is causing a great deal more mess and grief than those spectacles usually do… As faithful servants within a collapsing organisation, we are presented with a gloomy prospect, and it is very, very easy to become despondent.

But the organisers took time to bring us stories of God at work, of leaders being trained and visions of new work being realised; of churches where a mission-orientated church family is seeing lives transformed and a community illuminated by the love of Christ. And crucially, we were reminded that our hope for the future of the church of Christ in Scotland does not depend upon the right strategies, or even the ‘right’ personalities, but upon the good Spirit of our good God, working through his people to share the good news.

And our God is not weakened by modern culture, his arm is not thwarted by secular belief or aggressive aetheist philosophies. God remains on the throne, remains all-powerful, all-knowing, merciful and loving, unwilling that any should perish.

What should we then do in these days? We follow the example of the psalmist, and get to prayer – remembering God’s faithfulness and his promises as the basis for our confidence in asking for his work among us today and tomorrow. To “Keep it real, keep it simple, keep it going” in our praying, and not to give up; to believe that even if God chooses to let his church in this land become a tiny remnant, yet that he is still working out his purposes and will be glorified in his good time.

While we have breath to speak, and freedom to share the good news, let us be about his kingdom work, praying as we go and trusting that the Lord will daily encourage us with word of his unfailing love, guiding our steps, and teaching us to do his will as becomes his servants. It is ours to obey, and his to do everything else.

It’s never black and white

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In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame. Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness; turn your ear to me and save me. Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.

For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From my birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you… My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendour all day long.

Do not cast me away when I am old, do not forsake me when my strength is gone… Be not far from me, O God; come quickly, O my God, to help me. May my accusers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and disgrace.

But as for me, I shall always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure… Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you? 

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honour and comfort me once again. I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.

My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you – I, whom you have redeemed. 

(Ps 71.1-3,5&6,8-10,12-15,19-23)

If we are honest with ourselves, life is always a bit of a mixed bag – never all good and never all bad. It’s as though being human requires a complexity of emotions all the time, and it is sometimes exhausting! As followers of Jesus – who said that in this world we would have trouble – we should never expect to find life easy. As intelligent readers of the bible – full of the consequences of human sin for people and planet alike – we should not be surprised that suffering dogs humanity, that our world doesn’t function as it could, that bad stuff happens and life can be horrible.

No, the question is not, whether we and those we love will face trouble, but rather, what we will do with it when it arises? What does faith look like when all around is distress, uncertainty and weariness?

I find the honesty of the bible stories inexepressibly comforting, as they record the struggles of God’s children down the generations, and I see my own situation mirrored in theirs. It is not black and white – so often the things that we suffer appear to come out of nothing – look at the story of Job, who never found out what lay behind his appalling loss and illnesses, but who is commended in scripture for his faith. While we may occasionally be able to trace a link between trouble now, and past wrongdoing – often relationships will be permanently damaged and continue to malfunction due to our mistakes; we do live with consequences – very often there is no sign of a ‘reason’ for our troubles.

So, faith doesn’t necessarily look like someone who has all the answers and is serenely enduring because they know ‘what it’s for’. Faith can look like someone who is afraid, weak and well aware of their own helplessness, yet who clings stubbornly to the God who died on the cross to express his love for them. Faith is one who continues to pray, ‘thy will, not mine, be done’, and who persists in offloading their doubts and tears into the lap of their heavenly Father – sometimes even entrusting his eternal tender patience with their tantrums of terror and loss.

As I sit with the burdens of many dear friends in these days, burdens of every kind of trouble, this is how I pray for them, for this dogged and determined faith – which God gives to his children as they lean, exhausted and weary, upon him. I pray this for myself in the coming year, with its unknowns, that for the sake of Christ our Lord, we might honour him in all things.

O thou, the reflection of whose transcendent glory did once appear unbroken in the face of Jesus Christ, give me today a heart like his – a brave heart, a true heart, a tender heart, a heart with great room in it , a heart fixed on Thyself; for his name’s sake. Amen.

(John Baillie: A diary of private prayer, 1932)

Going deeper..

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The heavens tell God’s glory, and his handiwork sky declares.

Day to day breathes utterance and night to night pronounces knowledge.

There is no utterance and there are no words, their voice is never heard. Through all the earth their voice goes out, to the world’s edge, their words.

For the sun He set up a tent in them – and he like a groom from his canopy comes, exults like a warrior running his course. From the ends of the heavens his going out and his circuit to their ends, and nothing can hide from his heat.

The Lord’s teaching is perfect, restoring to life. The Lord’s pact is steadfast, it makes the fool wise. The Lord’s precepts are upright, delighting the heart. The Lord’s command unblemished, giving light to the eyes. The Lord’s fear is pure, outlasting all time. The Lord’s judgements are truth, all of them just.

More desired than gold, than abundant fine gold, and sweeter than honey, quintessence of bees. Your servant, too, takes care with them. In keeping them – great reward. Unwitting sins who can grasp? Of unknown actions clear me. From wilful men preserve Your servant, let them not rule over me. Then shall I be blameless and clear of great crime.

Let my mouth’s utterances be pleasing and my heart’s stirring before You, Lord, my rock and redeemer.

(Psalm 19, R.Alter trans. 2007)

I am learning to read the bible… which may sound a ridiculous thing for a middle-aged woman to say, one who grew up in churches with outstanding preaching and teaching every week.

But, it is true. I learnt so much and am forever grateful to those who fed me so richly, and inspired me to persevere in faith – my debt to them is incalculable. Nevertheless, I am only now learning to read for myself, to listen to my own thoughts, to trust that as I seek and study, God will teach me; and as I learn in community with others, we can discern truth even though there is no written booklet or ‘qualified’ teacher present!

A few months ago, a group of local women began meeting together weekly, reading from the book of Job in the Hebrew scriptures, and using resources like their bible commentaries and cross-referencing systems to begin exploring the connections, themes and lessons contained in that book. Much to our own delighted surprise, we not only found enough to talk about each week, but we were continually stimulated to think deeply, to learn from one another’s traditions and approaches, to refresh our understanding and to even change our ideas! The freedom to dig into the word, to wrestle with its obscurities, to juggle the paradoxes and revere the mysteries was intoxicating. We proceeded to study Philippians, are now in Ruth, and next plan to tackle Isaiah – which is not a small book!

As we read in community, we trust God to guide us, we pray for the Spirit to lead us, and we pray for humility to listen to each voice. We have had some entertaining pursuits of red herrings, followed some devious rabbit holes and stumbled upon impenetrable mysteries. We have grown in love for one another, and more significantly, in confidence in God’s word to us and for us in 2022.

There will always be so much more to learn, but rather than letting that make us feel overwhelmed, we choose to praise God for the inexhaustible riches of his word, and for the many resources which are available to us now to support our learning together. I can testify that my delight in meditating – or struggling! – with the bible is so much deeper, more satisfying, than ever, and would hope that this makes me more responsive to God’s leading and transforming work in my life… that is for others to say.

Don’t give up reading, thinking, exploring the riches of God’s word to us. Find a community where the word is honoured, and where people will honestly face it with their doubts, willing to learn and to grow. We will never reach the end of God’s revelation, but we can choose whether to drift along on the surface, malnourished and vulnerable, or to take every opportunity to make truth our own, to stretch our minds and strengthen our confidence in the word. It is for each one of us!

May the words of our mouths, and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O Lord.

Finding my voice…telling his truth

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Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures for ever..

to him who alone does great wonders, His love endures for ever..

to him who led his people through the desert, His love endures for ever…

and gave their land as an inheritance, His love endures for ever…

to the One who remembered us in our low estate, His love endures for ever….

and freed us from our enemies, His love endures for ever…

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures for ever.

(Ps 136.1,4,16,21,23&24,26)

You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.

(Jos 23.14)

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel, a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”

(Rom 1.16&17)

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

(2 Cor 1.20-22)

We were challenged at bible study recently to consider how we might answer someone who asked, ‘What have you gained since coming to know Jesus Christ?’

I didn’t find it easy to answer, and I think there are a number of reasons for that. The first one, and perhaps the most significant, is that I have been a follower of Jesus virtually all my life, having grown up in a genuine Christian home, and made a commitment early in my teens. I simply have no ‘before-and after’ experiences by which to assess the difference which knowing Jesus as Lord has made. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like to try and live without him. 

Another reason is that I think as Christians, we are so determined not to get full of ourselves, but to remain aware of what Jesus did for us on the Cross – as sinners, we had to be died for – that we struggle to articulate benefits of faith beyond forgiveneness! Of course, that is important, but if we are trying to witness to our faith to people who barely believe in sin, then forgiveness isn’t an easy thing to start with.

As we go on in our lives as Jesus followers, we often find ourselves becoming ever more aware of residual sins, pet habits which we cherish, or weaknesses which we abhor but cannot overcome yet. These things rightly loom large, because they show us how we still grieve the Lord whom we love and truly desire to honour. But in witnessing to non-believers, is this a place to start? How many of those around you will be impressed with your faith if it appears to drive you to continually bemoan and wrestle with faults which they regard as ‘natural’ and unimportant, and certainly not worth making life a misery over!

I want to be able to say, with Paul, that I am not ashamed of the gospel and yet I know that all too often I don’t take opportunities to boast about my Lord. I am praying – and would encourage you to pray too – that He will prompt us to see more clearly all the good things which we have as believers, things which our world badly needs and desires, so that we might make others want to come and find out more about Jesus.

Heavenly Father, I want to thank and praise you for all the many good things which I have because I am your child. I have significance, and an identity which cannot be taken from me – I am your beloved daughter, a royal princess, and priest in your name. I have a purpose, and the ability to fulfil that purpose, because you will enable me to do the job which is appointed to me in being part of building your kingdom – whether like Tabitha it is small, quiet acts of kindness, or like Peter in teaching and leading your people. I have a security which nothing in life or all creation can take from me, which allows me to face life with peace, and to give it up with anticipation.

Let my words as well as my deeds speak of your goodness, power and love, so that others may see and hunger after Christ, and in finding him, may find life, Amen.

 

Dust and ashes..

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God, my God, for You I search. My throat thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You in a land waste and parched, with no water…. Yes, I recalled You on my couch. In the night-watches I dwelled upon You. For You were a help to me, and in Your wing’s shadow I uttered glad song. My being clings to You, for your right hand has sustained me.

(Ps 63.1,7-9. translation by R Alter)

Jesus said to them, “…He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding out the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

(Jn 8.44)

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light…. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

(1 Pet 2.9; 5.6-9)

“How are you?”

Do you ever dread that question? I don’t like to tell lies, and sometimes, the honest answer to that question is not one which I think my listener really wants to hear, so I end up fudging it, answering with a question of my own.. anything to turn the focus away from my own unsatisfactory condition!

As one who has been following Jesus all her adult life, and been blessed to be in loving and nurturing church fellowships all that time, I have so much to give thanks for, and so many reasons to trust God and be zealous in sharing the good news, encouraging others, and generally engaging in gospel labour. However, as a human being I am also as vulnerable to emotional disturbances, hormonal upsets, physical ailments and stressful life-events as you are. These things colour my days, as I am sure they do yours. At the moment, for whatever reasons, there is little zest for faithful living and obedient, expectant labouring for Christ. All my allotted tasks are like so much dust and ashes – dry, unappealing and lifeless.

I say this not to evoke pity, or to brag about my ‘sufferings’. There is nothing uniquely painful about my state, and I am not proud of it. But I do believe that as christians we must not pretend to be other than we are – never with God, and preferably also not with each other.

When the accuser of God’s children is at work to obstruct the divine purpose, then discouraging those children is an obvious and devastatingly effective means of doing it. If the evil one can persuade us that our labours are in vain and that we might as well stop trying, then we become useless to the Lord and a danger to our fellow believers. Our christian family is weakened by our arid and inert condition – in exactly the same way that a human body is weakened when any part fails to partake of the life-giving flow of blood and oxygen.

I thank God for the painfully acquired wisdom of years which has helped me to recognise that my perception is not a true one – that the father of lies is at work to distort my understanding and paralyse my faith. I thank God for the faithful friends who are willing – yet again – to come alongside me in prayer and encouragement as I share my need and predicament with them.

Above all, I thank God that as I follow the example of the psalmist – recalling truth and reaffirming past blessing – I am strengthened. I bring the weapon of the word of God – what does He say about me? – against the lies of the accuser. I measure my thoughts against God’s revelation of grace and mercy and redemption, and see where I am being deceived and misled by my enemy.

I am one of God’s chosen people, I belong in his holy nation and am called as a priest to proclaim the praises of the One who brought me out of darkness into light. None of these things depends on my feelings, my health or any other factors which influence my daily living. They are based entirely in God’s character and finished work in salvation. I can serve him regardless of how I feel about my fruitlessness. I can praise him regardless of how barren our labours as believers seem to be – because he is always worthy of honour.

In obedience and trust, therefore, I labour on. May God be merciful to me, one of the least of his servants, restoring my joy in the service of the King and giving me a glimpse of his great power at work in this world to save sinners and bring them home to glory.

Trusted to be truthful..

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And Job continued his discourse: “As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty who has made my life bitter, as long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, my lips will not say anything wicked, and my tongue will not utter lies… I will maintain my innocence and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.”

(Job 27.1-6)

Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry…

(Ps 34.11-15)

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us… Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God. We have done so not according to worldly wisdom but according to God’s grace.

(2Cor 1.8-10, 12)

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed – not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence – continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

(Phil 2.12)

Can I be trusted to be truthful? Can God have any confidence that his reputation and character, the great narrative of his work in creation and redemption, are honoured by me in word and deed?

When Job came under extreme trials, he clung to his belief that God was good, was just and righteous, and also that Job himself had not committed sins which ‘deserved’ the judgement under which he suffered. In all these things, we are told that Job did well, speaking truth and not lies. Job proved himself trustworthy under his sufferings, honouring and rightly fearing God.

In fact, it is Job’s integrity which holds him right in the centre of the storm, wrestling with the unanswered questions, wondering what God is doing and why, longing for a chance to argue it out but never doubting that there is some hidden purpose. Such mature faith comes only as we in turn wrestle with our circumstances, refusing to speak lies about God – his holiness and justice, his love and mercy – or about ourselves, as his people and those on whom his favour rests.

In his letters to the churches in Corinth and Philippi, Paul speaks truth about his trials too – both their severity and also his conviction that they were part of God’s work in  spreading the gospel and in glorifying his power through his servants as they depended on him for deliverance and hope. Paul reassures the suffering saints in Philippi that as they ‘work out’ or discover in practice, what it means to be saved by Christ in the midst of trials, their experience will be of God working in them by his Spirit to fulfill his glorious purposes.

Job did not know that the advocate in whom he trusted was Jesus Christ, the eternal Son, but he clung to that hope and was sustained through his trials. We have the great revelation of the Son, of our loving Saviour who always lives to intercede for us and the Spirit who minsters to us continually. Why then should we not find that whether prosperity or trials come, we can be trusted to speak truth about our God, in all his holiness and the mysteries of his providence?

In plenty or in want, in sickness or in health, in time of peace or time of war, I am in Christ. I am redeemed, justified, and adopted into the family of God. My circumstances do not define me; my sins no longer define me; my own strengths or weaknesses do not define me. By grace, I am a child of the Most High, and whether he appoints my path to peace or troubles; to bright calm days, or the darkness of suffering, I will speak truth about him, and about what he has done for me.

May God grant each of us grace to accept prosperity or trial from his hand with humility, and with the desire to use all that he sends as means to glorify him and serve others.

Making it real..

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In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind…. to God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his… To him belong strength and victory;.. He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light. He makes nations great, and destroys them;… He deprives the leaders of the earth of their reason; he sends them wandering through a trackless waste. They grope in darkness with no light; he makes them stagger like drunkards. My eyes have seen all this, my ears have heard and understood it.

(Job 12.10,13,16, 22-25)

“This is what the Lord says to his anointed, to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of… For the sake of Jacob my servant, of Israel my chosen, I summon you by name…, though you do not acknowledge me… I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things… This is what the Lord says – the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker: Concerning things to come, do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands? It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it. My own hands stretched out the heavens; I marshalled their starry hosts. I will raise up Cyrus in my righteousness….

(Isa 45.1,4,7,11-13)

Fellow Israelites, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.

(Ac 2.22-24)

The King has come. The new kingdom has been birthed in the lives of those who confess Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour, and their loyalty is now to him. But is it?

When the state of our world, or the state of our neighbourhood, fills us with sadness and threatens to flood our hearts with fear for the future of our children; when long cherished plans and hopes for our lives or those of our loved ones are shattered and we are tempted to despair instead of to hope; when our situation seems utterly futile, and existence seems pointless… what does it look like in these circumstances to live as loyal subjects of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords?

Friends, this is something I find to be a constant challenge, and I am thankful for my heavenly Father’s patience and gentleness with me as I fail time and again. I will worry; I will find myself doubting that God will get it right, and that what He is permitting in our world just now can possibly be good and right when so much pain is involved for so many. I am indebted to the Canadian writer, Ann Voskamp for the most recent reminder that when I choose to let my thoughts run down this path of worry and doubt, I am dethroning Jesus and putting myself back onto the throne. 

The message of the Hebrew Scriptures, the gospels, Acts and all the letters (and especially of Revelation) is absolutely consistent. God is in charge; God is good and just, powerful and righteous; God can be trusted to keep His word. But, God is capable of doing the utterly unexpected, we cannot and must not try to constrain his actions  – the recognition of the heathen Cyrus, King of the Persian empire, as God’s agent to fulfill the divine plans must have caused consternation in Isaiah’s audience!

So what should I do next time the news in the papers, or the message from a friend threatens to send me down the well-trodden path of worry, fear and doubt? I take those thoughts captive; I recognise that I am on the top of a familiar slippery slope and choose to step back! The power to do this will come only as I depend by faith on God, asking his help to honour his name in my life – honouring him by choosing to trust and giving him the glory in the midst of what I do not understand.

And when God’s will seems most incomprehensible, I will remember what Peter told the crowds in Jerusalem at Pentecost, will remember that God purposed to bring the greatest good out of their greatest act of betrayal and rebellion. My God is so much greater than I can possibly understand, and he is in the business of turning darkness into light, death into life, and mortal into immortality.  I will keep on crowning him King, and choosing trust.

King of my life, I crown thee now – thine shall the glory be; Lest I forget thy thorn-crowned brow, lead me to Calvary.

Lest I forget Gethsemane, Lest I forget thine agony, Lest I forget thy love to me, Lead me to Calvary

(JE Hussey 1874-1958)