Category Archives: fearfulness

Never abandoned or forsaken

Leave a reply

Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

(Ps 139.7-12)

“O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

(Dan 3.16-18)

But now, this is what the Lord says – he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze..”

(Isa 43.1&2)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him… Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? …in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Rom 8.25,35,37-39)

I suspect that I have written about this before, but it bears repeating…. as God’s beloved children, those redeemed by his son and alive with his divine life, we are never left alone to face anything that may happen to us… never.

The importance of grasping this was brought home to me again recently during a bible study discussion of the desolation of those who feel that God has shut them out, that there is silence and no sense of his presence with them. That experience is very real indeed, and can be utterly devastating to the confidence of a believer… not only are bad things happening, but the one source of comfort has become mute, and there is no perception of love, or even interest in their plight. What can we do?

God has asked his people throughout history to trust him in the darkness; to trust him for the improbable and the impossible; to trust him and praise him when things go wrong, and never to believe the lies which have been told from the beginning – that God doesn’t really care for our good, that his ways are not loving, and that we must look out for ourselves. God has called his people to believe that there is something worse than all the troubles which life may bring – and that is to choose to live without him, to deny ourselves the hope of glory and eternal joy, to refuse to believe that there can be a life worth dying for.

When, by faith and the blessed strengthening of the Spirit of God within us, we hold on to God’s promises in the face of severe trials, we defy the darkness and the evil; we claim God’s goodness and our inheritance as his children, and affirm that what lies ahead of us is worth infinitely more than anything we may lose here. This is what Stephen the martyr did; this is what Shadrach and his companions did, and what Paul stated as he endured so much suffering; this is the example that Jesus set for us – enduring the cross, utterly focussed on the good things which God had planned for him, trusting God utterly with everything.

All the promises, all the stories, are there to encourage us in the face of divine silence and apparent inaction. We are to learn that when we feel alone and forsaken, it is never true; when everything seems to be going wrong and we can’t see the good outcome we desire, it isn’t the end. God keeps his children safe as they cling to him in spite of silence and desolation; keeps them through devastating troubles and unspeakable pain; and through death itself he brings them into his nearer presence, prepared for glory and unimaginable fullness of life.

Friends, when the silence is deafening, and the darkness void of love’s warmth, let us take courage and stand firm: praying, lamenting, praising and living as though the promises were true, taking God at his word and knowing that we are not alone.

What am I afraid of?

Leave a reply

The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring for ever.

(Ps 19.9)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

(Ps 111.10)

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs,… and they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”

(Isa 6.1-5)

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid: you are worth more than many sparrows.”

(Matt10.28-31)

Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men.. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died… we implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

(2Cor 5.11,14&20)

What is it to fear? Why is it that on one hand, we have so many exhortations to ‘fear God’, and on the other, so many instances where God encourages and reassures his children that they are not to be afraid? I think that – like the word ‘love’ – the word ‘fear’, has a range of meanings, and that the idea of a healthy, even liberating fear has got lost for many people – especially as applied to their spiritual lives and relationship to God.

It is a complex topic, too large for a short conversation, but I want to tease out one or two things – if I can! Since the word of God to us includes such a strong message that to fear him is to enter into wisdom, to know freedom and peace, then it must be more than dreading the infliction of pain or loss, because our God is holy, loving, gracious and good – we see in Jesus a generosity of compassion which takes our breath away – why should we be afraid of that?

Paul’s fear of the Lord propelled his mission, driving him on to spread the good news of the salvation and transformation which Jesus offers to all who will accept him – and Paul was no craven, trembling slave of a forbidding divinity, but an exultant apostle, shouting for joy about the love of God! If that is what ‘the fear of the Lord’ can do, then we need not be ashamed of it, but rather pursue it!

As fallen humanity, we dread the approach of purity, light and love, because we have rebelled against it, and shut it out – to have such light shine on us is unbearable as it shows up our poverty and filth, shows how we have squandered our potential on ashes. But, as God’s redeemed children, we approach that purity, worship that power and glory, and tremble to think of grieving the heart of Love – we rightly ‘fear’ to dishonour and disappoint him, to fail to use all we are and have for his glory. This kind of fear is indeed the beginning of wisdom, the beginning of knowing what it is to be fully human!

When, through faith in Jesus, I am restored to my true calling or vocation – to be God’s image bearer in his creation – I am what I am made to be, and need fear nothing else. My hearing is obedience waiting to spring into action, and nothing has any power to daunt me, because I am utterly secure in my identity as God’s beloved child. I may fear to offend, not because I dread punishment, but because the heart of Love is tender, and I long to honour and imitate it. And even here, I need not ‘fear’ when I fail, because my Lord has forgiven me, accepted me, and my mistakes cannot derail his purposes.

I will not fully live without unhealthy fear until I am made new, but I rejoice to know that God is at work to change me, to loosen the hold of lies on my thinking, and set me free to take courage for each day. He cares for me, what need I care for anything more than delighting to do his will and enjoying what he sends me? As I wrote this blog, the words of this old hymn based on Psalm 34 came to mind, and I share them with you as encouragement today.

Through all the changing scenes of life, in trouble and in joy, the praises of my God shall still my heart and tongue employ.

O, make but trial of his love, experience will decide, how blest are they, and only they, who in his truth confide.

Fear him, ye saints, and you will then have nothing else to fear; make his service your delight, your wants shall be his care.

(Nahum Tate: 1652-1715)

when looking down….

Leave a reply

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord renew their strength. They will soar like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

” Here is my servant, who I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight.. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out.”

(Isa 40.11, 29-31; 41.13&14; 42.1&3)

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my saviour and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you… By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me – a prayer to the God of my life..

(Ps 42.5-8)

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take [the thorn in the flesh] away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses…. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

(2Cor 12.8-10)

Sometimes, we find ourselves walking as if in the shadow of a great hill which is hiding the light from our path, and we are weary of stumbling in the dark, of hurting ourselves on things we cannot see, of straining for the way ahead. The hill could be difficult problems posed by health issues for ourselves, or our loved ones; challenges in our work or church communities which are making everyone tense and unhappy; difficult relationships with those who are close to us, where we seem unable to resolve issues, and consequently our lives are overshadowed, everything is muted and joy seems fled for good.

In such seasons, I take great comfort in going to the words of the psalmists, of Job and the many prophets who spoke truth and suffered for it at the hands of God’s people. There I find a depth of lament which gives relief to my burdened spirit, and helps me to bring all to the Lord as my ‘sacrifice’ of prayer. If all I have seems to be hard and sore, then let me bring it in faith and say, “Lord, this is my offering, use it as you choose for your glory!”

There too, I find the precious encouragement to keep on hoping, to go on believing that God is good, that I am beloved, redeemed and accepted, no matter how difficult my circumstances and the ways that others may make me feel. To know myself held in my shepherd’s arms; to picture myself as the guttering candle which he shields with his hands so that it may burn on; to remember that he knows why I feel like a worm, and understands all that has gone to make it so. This is to know a deep and strengthening comfort and a reviving tenderness indeed!

Often when I am looking down, watching my feet to avoid falling, I see something beautiful which comes like a call from my Lord – ‘Look! here is a gift to remind you that I am present, and I know, utterly understand, your sorrow.’ It helps me to lift my head and find renewed faith, believing that as I come to him in weakness, not trusting myself or anyone else, then I am enabled to go on.

Beloved Father, whose tenderness and kindness melts my heart again and again, I praise and thank you for understanding all that is overshadowing me today. I rest in your love, and rejoice to know that you hold me fast.

Saving Lord, precious Jesus, whose life and death has secured eternal life for me, I thank you that you have known sorrow, weariness, and the deep shadows which are cast over human lives. I rest in your love, and rejoice to know that you will never forsake me.

Reviving Spirit, divine in-dweller of my being, I worship and thank you today because by your power and presence, I am kept safe and secure as a child of God, and you will not abandon the work which has begun in me.

Today, even as I walk in shadow, let me be renewed in hope, courage and faithfulness. Let me not be silenced by the shadows, but rather enabled to praise you in them – for your glory, and my blessing. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

And why do you worry?

Leave a reply

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these… So do not worry, saying, ‘what shall we eat?’ or ‘what shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

(Matt 6.25-34)

..and because I’d heard that you are loyal and faithful to Jesus the master, and that you show love to all God’s holy people, I never stop giving thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers.

I pray that the God of King Jesus our Lord, the father of glory, would give you, in your spirit, the gift of being wise, of seeing things people can’t normally see, because you are coming to know him and to have the eyes of your inmost self opened to God’s light.

Then you will know exactly what the hope is that goes with God’s call; you will know the wealth of the glory of his inheritance in his holy people; and you will know the outstanding greatness of his power towards us who are loyal to him in faith, according to the working of his strength and power.

(Eph 1.15-19, translated by NT Wright)

Father, it’s like there is a disconnect in my brain; what you tell me to be true, what I know to be true, somehow doesn’t reach or influence the places where worry lives, where anxiety hangs out, where all my night-sweat fears lurk until they can jump out and cause my heart to beat like a great drum, bursting out of my chest.

I know, I KNOW, that you see me, you love me, you will never let me go from your loving hands. And I know that in this season of transition, of uncertainty, you go with me, indeed you go before me to prepare good works for me to do and things to enjoy with you! So why can I not control these feelings? 

Thank you for reminding me that my feelings are not the basis for my actions, for my decisions, and certainly not the basis on which my faith exists! Thank you, that it is as your beloved one in Christ that I experience your power and love, that I rest in your grace as one forgiven and restored to closest fellowship with my loving Father. It is all that Christ is and has done, and is doing even now that is the basis for my salvation and therefore the sure ground for my faith.

Thank you that in your abundant kindness, you are growing wisdom in me, the wisdom to see truth, to see what really matters; to see Christ in all his glory and to know that nothing can stop you from working in power to transform me, along with all the rest of the church, into his likeness.

Why, then, are you cast down my soul? I will yet delight in the Lord, my God and King! Bring all these troubles to your Father in heaven, who in his infinite power and goodness has provided for each need even before you recognise it. Delight to cast yourself with these burdens at his feet, and to exalt him by trusting him to deal with them in ways that will exceed all you can think or imagine. Remember that the power which is turned to work in the world for the glory of God, to glorify Christ in his church – is for you and all those who confess him as Lord. That power which raised Christ from the dead, is even now working through you and for you, all to the purpose of God, to the exaltation of Jesus and the making-right of all that is wrong.

Father, your daughter comes to you in her weakness – her frame is known to you, and the power which uncertainty, anxiety and change have to affect her in so many ways. Deliver her from false guilt about these feelings; give her wisdom to cling to you in response to them and to continually preach the truth to herself, so that the feelings are not the loudest voice in her mind, but rather the story of your power and love at work for eternal glory and a secure inheritance for all your beloved children.

On being a coward…

Leave a reply

The Lord spoke to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people. He said… do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread, and he will be a sanctuary…

(Isa 8.11-13)

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

(1 Pet 3.15&16)

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes..

(Rom 1.16)

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders, make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

(Col 4.2-6)

On so many levels, I am a coward… the story in my family as I grew up was that my first words were, “oh dear!”, doubtless expressing regret over some misdemeanour, and that has been my default setting ever since: to be the first to apologise, to apologise first and then afterwards work out what actually happened, to assume that I am in the wrong. Because so often I am! I have a deep rooted fear of doing the wrong thing, making the wrong choices, following the wrong advice and consequently messing up not only my situation, but the lives and situations of others too….

One might be generous, and call it a tender conscience.. I call it a drawback and a weakness, a hindrance to confident living as a child of God, and a form of disobedience too since it implies doubt over God’s capacity to direct me, and his grace to deal with my shortcomings. It means that I lean on the decisions of others more than I should, to direct me and set the pattern for my life; it means that I am plain terrified of making big life choices and of holding any position of responsibility whatsoever.

I say these things not because I am proud of them, nor because I want pity, but because I am at the moment acutely aware of them, and of their impact on how I am living for God in this place where we have a few short weeks remaining to us. I am the believer who shrinks from talking about the gospel because I am afraid of what the reaction of others will be; I am afraid that I can’t answer the difficult questions; I am afraid to cause offence and somehow drive people further away from Jesus.

It is easy to avoid taking the small openings for faith conversations that come my way, and then justify my failure. But the Lord knows the truth, and sees that my fear of the wrong things is holding me from obedience, faithful witness and the sowing of seeds in his name. Of what possible use is the messenger who baulks at speaking the most important part of the message with which they are entrusted?! Do I not love these folk enough to share the most important things in the world with them – the demonstration of love, the holiness of God and the offer of salvation through Jesus?

I don’t think we can accuse the great apostle Paul of being afraid to speak the truth, yet even he asked his friends to pray for him – for opportunities to speak, and for boldness, wisdom and grace to take and use those opportunities to plant kingdom seeds. So let me follow his example, and recognise the challenge and also the right way of dealing with it…

Almighty God, King above all kings, throned in splendour and light, in holiness and power beyond my imagination; I worship you today and confess my weakness and my fears. Thank you that you understand how I am made, that it is your will and purpose to make me useful in your kingdom, and that therefore you will surely enable me to speak for you when opportunity arises. Set me free from fearing anything except you; set me free to care only about pleasing you, loving those to whom you have sent me and making all that I am available to be useful according to your will. As you transform me, make me ever more Christ-centred, free to live boldly because you are my sanctuary and my glory. In the name of Jesus, my Lord, and for his glory, Amen.

You are what you eat….

Leave a reply

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple… They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.

(Ps 19.7&10)

On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine – the best of meats and the finest of wines. On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples, the sheet that covers up all nations; he will swallow up death for ever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The Lord has spoken. In that day they will say, “Surely this is our God; we trusted in him and he saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”

(Isa 25.6-9)

Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the son of man will give you… For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world… I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry… If anyone eats of this bread, he will live for ever.

(Jn 6.27,33,35&51)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Phil 4.6&7)

We are broken and beautiful creatures, living in a broken and beautiful world, where nothing is ever completely perfect or utterly reliable, or free from pain and doubt. On this side of glory, we are sure of nothing, except our own craving for security, significance and purpose. As a follower of Jesus, I believe that I am in the best possible place to deal with the uncertainty of life in this world, because I have wisdom, perspective and a reason to hope that I will live in a perfect world, and I am therefore not utterly broken by the disappointments of this life.

In Jesus, I am freely given all I need to persevere in this life, glorifying God and putting my trust in him alone, instead of wasting my energy and breaking my heart over things which will pass and let me down. The question is whether I fully appropriate all that is mine in Jesus – do I make it my own, do I live by it?

In every situation in life, I can choose whether to react by focussing on the unknowns, on the (often valid) causes for anxiety – or to focus on the truth about God, about his power at work for good, and his character of love, faithfulness and mercy. What do I feed my spirit with day by day as I navigate this beautiful, broken world? Do I feed my fear, or my faith?

The bible talks about meditating on God’s word, which means pondering, repeating it to oneself, chewing it over in the same way that some animals repeatedly chew their food. It is a vivid image which conveys the sense that we are feeding on the word, finding nourishment and health, getting all the goodness out of it.

But it can be very easy to feed instead on my anxieties. When I am in difficult circumstances, am I meditating on all the things I can’t understand or control? On the things that I regret, or resent? On the ways I have been hurt or disappointed? On ways that I can take control, create some illusion of authority over my life? Or on the consequences of my actions, those things which may be hard for others? – that kind of chewing is not healthy for me, leads to spiritual weakness, and fear over the future

While those things may be true or real in my experience, I can see that making them the centre of my attention is not going to help me. Instead, I am invited to bring the whole messy bundle of worries and questions to my God, laying them at his feet and choosing a different diet for my mind.

As I choose to meditate on God’s word, on what is true about him, and what he says is true about me then I focus on facts, not unanswerable questions. As I choose to chew over my blessings, the faithfulness of God to his church and to me, then I have reason to praise him and to find hope.  As I choose to worship him for who he is, regardless of what is happening and remember that he is God and I am not, then I remember who is truly in control and find peace. This kind of chewing is healthy for me, it feeds faith and builds resilience, maturity and hope for the future.

Let the consequences of your obedience be left up to God:

Oswald Chambers (1874-1917)

Loving Father, so much of my trouble comes from trying to work out all the details, not only for myself but for others. Let me learn to trust you with all the consequences of my obedience, and to remember that you love my precious people even more than I do, and are infinitely more able to work your plans for their good than I can imagine!

Lord, let me feed faith, by feeding on your word, by praising your greatness, by choosing to look at you and not at myself. Make me stronger, more resilient, a more faithful witness to you as I choose those things that feed faith, and reject those that feed fear. Help me to keep on doing this, day by day and hour by hour, for your glory and the blessing of many.

No borrowed lights

1 Reply

By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people.

(Ex 13.21&22)

The Lord is my light and my rescue. Whom should I fear? The Lord is my life’s stronghold. Of whom should I be afraid?… Teach me, O Lord, Your way, and lead me on a level path because of my adversaries.

(Ps 27.1&11; R Alter translation)

O Lord, be gracious to us; we wait for you. Be our arm every morning, our salvation in the time of trouble… The Lord is exalted, for he dwells on high; he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness, and he will be the stability of your times, abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is Zion’s treasure.

(Isaiah 33.2&5-6)

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the voice of his servant? Who walks in darkness and has no light? ..let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who equip yourselves with burning torches! Walk by the light of your fire, and by the torches that you have kindled! This you have from my hand: you shall lie down in torment.

(Isa 50.10&11)

It is the testimony of God’s people down the ages that again and again, His word speaks directly into their situation and brings counsel, comfort, rebuke and restoration. As I read the bible, on my own and in community, I find that I am fed and strengthened for the situations to which God has called me, and I praise and rejoice in his generosity and care.

In these days, I am facing imminent departure from a place and ministry which I had hoped would be my home and community for many years. This is not to be, and while I thank God for making it clear that we must move, I am grieving for the loss which will be involved, and fearful for a future which is as yet entirely unknown. I am tempted to waste my energy making plans, speculating about what to do – basically trying to create an illusion of control in a situation where I am absolutely without any authority over what is happening. When I recognise that this is what I am doing, I am driven to repent, to cling to my Father and to ask for his help to walk in this darkness of grief, loss and uncertainty. God is all-knowing, all powerful, perfect and just – I am not!

Our recent studies in Isaiah brought this passage, where God calls his faithful people to trust his word and to walk in the darkness rather than create lights for themselves. This has come as a real prompt to me – what am I tempted to do in the face of dashed hopes, loss and uncertainty? What lights am I trying to create for myself to deal with the fear?

The psalmist calls me back to safety, to the truth that my Lord is my light, and his purpose is to take me down paths which accord with his good and perfect will. The Lord is the stability of my times – what a marvellous picture of steadying, and sustaining, of bringing me back from wildly veering emotions and thoughts to a calm centre and the assurance of his power, strength and love all mobilised for me, his child. The story of God’s presence manifest to his people after the exodus from Egypt is a wonderful expression of a reality which remains for us today. He is always with us to guide us, and to provide the guidance and light which we need – maybe not as much as we might want – for the next steps.

Lord God, and loving Father, let me trust you and walk steadily as you guide me. Let me not try to find my own way through or around this time of trial, grief and uncertainty – deliver me from the temptation to create my own lights, to borrow wordly wisdom or rely on my own strength, and wisdom. Let me be content to walk in the darkness if need be, so long as I walk in dependence on you, content to trust your timing and leading. Lord, let me not panic, indulge in anxiety and worry, or jump to false conclusions about your nature and purposes for me. Let me glorify you through this trial, for Jesus’s sake, Amen.

[with thanks to Jean Dewar for the photograph used]

The reality gap ..

Leave a reply

God spoke strongly to me, grabbed me with both hands and warned me not to go along with this people. He said: “Don’t be like this people, always afraid somebody is plotting against them. Don’t fear what they fear. Don’t take on their worries. If you’re going to worry, worry about the Holy,

Fear God-of-the-angel-armies. The Holy can either be a hiding place or a boulder blocking your way….”

I will wait for God as long as he remains in hiding, while I wait and hope for him. I stand my ground and hope…

(Isa 8.11-14&17, the Message)

God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterise us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next. May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you … and May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!

(Rom 15.4&5,13)

Forgive me Father, for my faith is weak and small; a poor thing too dependent on outward supports and habits and starved of real vitality. Your child is easily frightened, and all her prayers and entreaties just now seem empty and faithless, the hope is drying up in her veins. Her labours seem pointless, her life fruitless and shallow – a thing of show and hypocrisy.

 Jesus said: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Forgive me Father, for every touch of your love in creation and the kindness of others lets loose a storm of weeping instead of thankful songs. My heart is weary and heavy and has forgotten the taste of real joy, numb to the warmth of your presence and yet desperate to be away from this dreariness and at home with you. I am appalled at my own lack of faith, filled with shame at my unfounded good opinion of myself, and conscious of dishonouring and failing you and those to whom you have given me.

Jesus said: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Father, your child has seen once again what a poor thing she is; how undeserving the grace she has received and the continuing daily gifts of forgiveness and love which she receives. She has nothing of value to bring you, since all she has comes from your hand. Her worship is weak and her faith frail; her abilities limited and her tendency to stray after other comforts so dreadfully pronounced. Why do you bear with this one? She has no hope apart from you, and yet she cannot bear seeing the truth of her state – a lifetime of following Jesus, and yet so little to show for it.

Jesus said: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Father, you see and know and love your child. Her heart lies open to you in all its poverty and hunger that she might be other than she is. Oh, to be at peace, to be daily filled with joy in your presence! To be trusting you because of your character and promises, instead of doubting you because my prayers are not answered the way I want. Oh, to love you for who you are, not for what you give me, so that my peace and hope are not at the mercy of my circumstances but founded securely in you.

Father God, you know that the gap between where I want to be as your child – one honoured to bear your name in the world – and where I actually am, is so big. You know the shame that fills me as I see the gap, as I sense the aridity of my spirit and the numbness which dulls me to the glory and power of your truth, and the salvation which is mine in Christ. Lord God, have mercy on me and by your Spirit at work in me, restore life and hope and joy that I might glorify you and daily testify to your goodness.

Jesus said: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Bless me today, merciful God, for the sake of your Son my Saviour, Amen

When everything else has fallen away..

1 Reply

O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief…The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead. So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.

I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, O Lord, my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

(Ps 143.1, 2-10)

From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. about the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” – which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

(Matt 27.45&46)

As followers of Jesus, we live with a continual tension between the reality of a broken, and pain-filled world, and the revelation of God’s loving purposes for his creation. This is not the place to unpack the many discussions which can arise, rather I have been considering how we can pray for one another when the crises come. To be a Christian is not a recipe for a protected, pain free existence, and anyone who tries to convince others that the gospel brings health, wealth and happiness is to be rebuked and avoided at all costs. We will face suffering, even as every human being does.

Every trial known to humanity happens to believers too – rape, abuse, violent assault, homelessness, cancer, addiction, debilitating and degenerative diseases, disability, poverty, war, earthquakes and all natural disasters. How may we pray for one another when our lives are shaken to their foundations, when all the walls collapse and in an instant, we are naked to the winds and vulnerable to utter destruction? This is intercession, the ministry of other members of Christ’s body for those who are stunned and reeling, unable to pray for themselves, possibly running away from God, certainly in great agony of spirit.  We may be called to it for hours, days or years, and we may not see the answers we hope for – our own faith may be challenged. Are we willing?

We can pray for protection of their faith – that they will continue to bring all to God, not turn away from him. He is big enough to take all our frantic furious words and his fathomless love refuses to walk away from his hurting children. We can pray that their anger will be poured out before him, so that their spirit may be preserved from the infection of bitterness and the petrifying power of resentment. The psalmists give shape to such lament, as do Job and the prophets.

We can pray for that steadying and grounding which guards against drastic and desperate action, for wisdom to hold through confusion and the turmoil of grief. The presence of compassion and practical support, of burden-sharers, and those who can advise and bring comfort by their presence. Perhaps we ourselves may have a part to play in this. How often Paul speaks in his letters of the comfort which friends brought – by their gifts and their companionship – as God’s support to him in his need.

We can pray for for freedom from paralysing fear as they contemplate a future which they hoped never to see. How many of us deliberately contemplate what life might look like if disaster struck? We don’t, we focus instead on enjoying what we have and easily forget that life can change in an instant. A beloved may walk out of the house, and out of our lives with no warning, and how shall we live without them? A diagnosis may come which shifts life into an endurance event, full of obstacles, and pain. We don’t want to anticipate these things, but they are the stuff of real and daily life. How much we need God’s help in living through those situations, in dealing with the fear of suffering, of loss, of death.

Above all, we pray for mercy from the Omnipotent on the dust-creature whom he loves, and who is at this time flat out in stunned despair and hopelessness. Tomorrow, it could be my turn, or yours. We live, day by day depending entirely on God’s providence, and by grace we cry to him as Father for his presence. We have his love, an eternal inheritance, a daily indwelling strength by his Holy Spirit, and although we may feel abandoned, we can give thanks that we are never truly alone. Because Jesus was forsaken, we are not..

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

(Matt 28.18&20)

Consider the stars..

Leave a reply

There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in his majesty. The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

(Deuteronomy 33.26&27)

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”…He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

(Psalm 91.1,2, 4-6)

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us…And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose….Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long, we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

(Romans 8.18,28,35-37)

Consider the stars in the sky;
When it is darkest they shine out the brightest
Consider the stars in the sky
In every anguish, Oh, child take courage

Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
He who made all of this, and who holds all of this,
Holds you in his hands

(Keith & Kristyn Getty, 2015)

 

We have a bad habit of re-casting God’s promises into our own terms, to suit our own circumstances, and then expecting Him to fulfill them according to our understanding of what is best.. We take the words such as those from Psalm 91 above, and decide that should mean that we are to be kept miraculously safe from every physical threat to our bodies – always! Sometimes, there are instances where God has indeed created supernatural protection for his children, hiding them in plain sight from their enemies, or healing them from fatal illnesses, and we do well to rejoice in such deliverances. But they will always be part of a bigger picture, and a higher perspective that we cannot see. God does nothing at random, and nothing is ever wasted, so that a miraculously preserved life will have some particular call upon it which is yet to be fulfilled.

But our experience, in a broken world, is surely not that which might be expected from a superficial reading of Psalm 91 – everyone suffers from illness, assault, weakness, fear, and eventually the debilitating effects of age. So where do God’s promises come into the picture? In what sense are we supported by the everlasting arms, pictured in Moses’ wonderful final song in Deuteronomy?

I believe that Paul puts it best for us, when he affirms that there is NOTHING which can separate the child of God from the love of the Father, because of the redeeming work of the Son. In one sense, we may be vulnerable to the effects of human suffering, but in another, we are invincible! The grasp of the everlasting arms upon us is unbreakable, and our eternal future, in transformed bodies, in glory and joy and fulfilment, cannot be taken from us. In that ultimate and most essential sense, nothing can touch us!

If we can take hold on that truth – a process which I find I have to go through repeatedly, as new trials come along – then we are indeed sheltered from the storm, as under wings, because our heart is at rest. It may be in agony, but in recognising that there is one who loves us and bears with us, who knows our pain, and above all who knows that the future glory is worth it, there, we find we can hold firm.

I often walk at night by the sea, and the stars throng the sky above me, a source of wonder and awe. They speak of the utter ‘otherness’ of the creator, of my utter insignificance, and cause me to stand in adoration again of the God who “made all of this, and who holds all of this,” yet holds even me in his hands.

Friends, let us pray for God to stir up our faith, when all around seems darkest, that his presence and promises will shine brightly, and we will hold fast, trusting him, and rest in the everlasting arms.

 

Photograph of the stars, courtesy of F. Wotherspoon.