Category Archives: children

My baby!!

Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones..”Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; 

(Isaiah 49. 13&15)

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children – with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

(Psalm 103.13-17)

When my first child was born, it was as though a whole new world of understanding and experience opened up before me – all of a sudden the miracle of the incarnation became something more profound, more deeply mysterious and moving; the burden of Jesus’ mother as she watched her son on the cross became more excruciating; and the tenderness of God towards his wayward children became even more awesome!

Now, I am launching my little one, the baby, upon her next stage of education, which means leaving home to study at university – the same institution at which my parents launched me a good many years ago!

Does this mean that because I have no one at home to look after, that somehow all this love, the mothering that has been a huge part of who I am suddenly ceases to exist?! As the apostle Paul would say – By No Means!! What it does mean is another transition in life, another change of circumstances, and another opportunity to lean hard upon my God, depending upon him and clinging on to the identity I have in him.

I believe that God created humankind in his image, and that in mothers – and by that I mean all those who nurture the lives of others, whether those to whom they gave birth or others – we see a huge part of God’s character. When we see the lengths to which a mother will go to protect, nurture and obtain what is best for her child, we see the heart of God for us. When we see the joy and delight a mother takes in watching her child, in noticing all the little details, in listening to the endless chatter, then we see the heart of God for us.

Because this is true, I believe that in God, I have one who understands fully what I am going through and will face in the days ahead, as I learn to live day-to-day without the presence of my baby. There will be times when her absence may be like an open wound – my God is a great and tender physician, he can bring the right balm and comfort to me. There will be times when I find myself questioning whether I have any purpose in life now that she is gone – my God is the lover of my soul, he delights in who I am, and has enrolled me in his great plan of redemption; he can show me that my life matters even though this chapter is closing.

His heart for me has been mirrored, however faintly, in my heart for my own children. I matter to him as they do to me; he cares that I get tired and sad, he will listen and encourage me from his own store of tender, compassionate love. He will share my joy in my children, and also my concerns for them – because they matter even more to him than to me. He will not ask me to take on a burden or task for which I am not fit – although he may show me that I am stronger than I think!

My children are the children of believing parents, they were brought before him as infants and God’s promises claimed on their behalf. If I care that they should commit their lives in faith to Jesus, how much more does my loving Father care! I have a faithful God, or rather, he has me. And I will choose to entrust my children to him – releasing them to the care of one who knew them before they were born, and who gave me the inestimable privilege of raising them to live for and with him.

My immediate task is finished, and a new relationship lies ahead. May God enable me to fulfill that faithfully, that I may be a blessing to my children, and bear witness to the steadfast love of God as my strength.

From everlasting, to everlasting, He is God, and He is good..Hallelujah!

Advertisements

For my children..

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that…the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

(1Timothy 6.6-12)

Nearly twenty two years ago, I was safely – and belatedly – delivered of a son, a precious gift and source of great joy and contentment, as well as not a little grief and anxiety over the years of his growing! Four years ago, he left home, first for a gap year, and then to university. There he thrives, and we have had the pleasure of watching him relish every opportunity to learn; every friendship which has come his way; and above all, of seeing him grow in faith, seeking to reach his community with the gospel. He is a man made by and for God, and he knows his maker – a blessing which cannot be quantified, and one which every christian parent craves for their children but cannot guarantee.

I say these things not to boast – it is none of my doing, and even as I give thanks for the blessings he has received, I yearn over the children of christian friends who as yet are choosing to walk through life without putting their faith in Christ, sitting lightly to the question of their salvation. So why talk about him at all? Because this  morning, after a week of holiday with friends here, he left me again…

Does it never get easier, this parting from the one who once was utterly dependent on me? Does the raw place where my heart was ripped from his never really heal over? I have no fear for him, and yet how sore it is when he leaves, returning to the larger life he now enjoys with friends who are so dear – in which I barely play a part – and all of life ahead of him.

The bible regularly uses the imagery of a father – or mother – to describe God’s yearning over his children, and I believe that this longing love is something that human beings experience in smaller degree. In our parenting; our nurturing of new life and raising for independent living, we experience a little of the passion with which God loves us, his beloved children, driving him to seek after and bring us to himself again. The very pain which is part of letting our children go, is a window into the heart of a tender God. How are we to use it?

I can resent the ways that God has chosen to ordain my life, separating me from my children and leading them away from me..or I can rejoice that for a little time, I was privileged to be in their lives, loving and caring for them on his behalf. They were his before they were ever mine, and if I remember that, then I can take comfort even as I watch them go – God’s love for them is so much greater than I can ever imagine, and they can be in no better place than the centre of his will for them.

I can follow the example of Paul, who though not the human father of Timothy, yet wrote tenderly to that young man, calling him a dear son, and addressing many earnest and loving words of advice to him. Paul does not caution Timothy to look out for his own interests, but challenges him to the highest calling – a life devoted to God, in which those qualities of godliness, love, endurance, faith, gentleness and righteousness are always growing stronger.

Who knows what this will look like in real life? A calling to full-time christian service; to overseas mission or ministry in this country? A life lived in an increasingly secular and hostile society, bearing faithful witness to the rebuke and challenge as well as the offer of the gospel? A life of single chastity, or marriage and parenthood? A life blessed with good health, or plagued by illness?

I cannot tell, and I thank God that I do not know. But I can and do pray for my children – and for their friends, the precious young lives which come into contact with mine – that their faith will be in Christ alone; that their will to obey might be fixed; and that they might live to glorify and serve the God who made them for such a time as this.