Category Archives: thanksgiving

Let my thanks be unconditional!

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Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

(Eph 5.19&20)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Phil 4.4-7)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

(Jas 1.17)

How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you….. Love the Lord, all his saints!… Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

(Ps 31.19,23&24)

“I only deepen the wound of a hurting world when I neglect to give thanks.”

(Anne Voskamp: One Thousand Gifts, 2010, Zondervan)

Do you ever catch yourself quietly nit-picking God’s ways with you? That little internal conversation that looks at all the abundance of daily grace and says, ‘yes, that’s all very well but what about….?’

I realised recently that this regrettable and rebellious attitude had become strongly established in my own heart, and I am praying for discernment to recognise, and strength to repent and turn away from it. Faith does not pick holes in God’s goodness – for if what God reveals about himself, in his word and especially in Jesus, is true then there are no holes to be picked! Faith rather acknowledges the struggle and chooses to affirm in the face of doubt that God’s goodness is measureless, and that I will always have reason to give thanks. In  my own griefs and sorrows, I can trust the God who went to the cross for me in order to do me good – such love will never fail to do the right thing, and my lack of understanding can be overcome and quietened when I recall how clearly and completely that costly love is shown.

This inability to be unconditionally grateful goes way back to the beginning – remember that Eve was tempted to believe that God was holding back something really good? The same old story still works doesn’t it? We become determined that unless God gives us what we want – what we think is good – on our own terms, and timings, then we aren’t going to trust him, and all our thankfulness becomes polluted and qualified by criticism and a lack of true faith in his goodness. Who do I think I am to question the ways of the Almighty? – Job would certainly point out to me the folly of thinking along those lines!

Yes, there is a time and a place to bring to my Father all the burdens and questions of my heart – but in an attitude of expectation, not judgment and criticism. There is a time and a place for lamentation when my experience is bitter, when pain persists and there is no healing of the wounds and no resolution to the conflicts. And the psalmists have shown us how those laments are healthily handled – in the presence of the Almighty, in an attitude of openness to hearing his voice and a willingness to be reminded of his faithfulness and also his magnitude, his entire ‘otherness’, his transcendence.

He is God… and I am not. I am the creature of his loving hand, his adopted child, the object of his cosmic saving work, a precious jewel in his heart – can I not learn to trust his ways with greater constancy? I live in a world of wonders – from the intricacy of my own anatomy, to the measureless depths of the universes and galaxies beyond my world; I daily rise to breathe, move, give and receive love, experience beauty, and know joy. I have so much to give thanks for, and when I choose to reject the voice of criticism, to see it for sin and choose instead the loving, exulting acceptance which is proper to a cherished child, then I honour God aright.

Almighty and Loving Father, I confess as sin the ways that I resent and criticise your handling of my life, and of this world. I repent of my rebellion and recognise that you are God and I am not.

I ask the aid of your Spirit to soften my heart and change my thinking, so that my response to all your goodness becomes unconditional and unqualified. Let me choose to believe good of you always, and to trust you more fully when your ways are so far beyond me that I cannot see good in them. Let me remember that I can always give thanks, for I am forever your child, and you are forever faithful, true and good.

I can always rest in the loving presence of my Saviour, who showed me just how much I am loved, and how your power is always at work for good. Thank you that I pray in his name, and am heard for his sake, and for his glory I pray these things, Amen.

On being encouraged…

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It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living; part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.

It’s in Christ that you, once you heard the truth and believed it (this message of your salvation), found yourselves home free – signed, sealed and delivered by the Holy Spirit. This signet from God is the first installment on what’s coming, a reminder that we’ll get everything God has planned for us, a praising and glorious life.

That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you – every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask – ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory – to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him – endless energy, boundless strength!

(Eph 1.11-19; The Message translation)

One of the things which gives me great joy as I grow older and look to the generations following me in the life of the church, is to see how faithfully God is growing his people – in particular to see how those with whom I had the privilege of sharing life many years ago when they were just setting out, are going on steadily as mature adults, leading families and serving communities.

My recent trip to England brought me such opportunities, and what a joy it was! When we invested all those years ago into the lives of young believers – in our church, or through shared work like Christian residential events for children – we did so in obedience to God’s command to love one another, to share what we had and to build one another up. And the years come and go, we see one another rarely, and communication is sparse… what a pleasure then to be together again and to see the solid evidence of God’s faithfulness to these precious people as they have grown and walked with him. Life is no less fraught for them as believers than for others – their children face challenges, health and work bring real strains and crises, wider family and societal issues lay a burden upon them. But, in and through it all, there is a day-to-day reliance on the truth of the gospel, and in the faithful love of God. To see those whom we have loved – as children and young adults – now rich in those things which really matter, is an incredible blessing!

I think it is something like this joy which Paul is expressing here, as he opens his letter to the churches in the area around Ephesus, dwelling in his mind on the deep gladness which he experiences as he sees God at work steadily building THE church in that part of the world.

And being Paul, he goes further than merely giving thanks for what God has done, as he launches into one of the most stupendous prayers recorded for us in the bible, interceding and asking for his fellow believers and modelling for us how to pray for one another.

I am challenged by this and prompted to be more diligent in prayer for those whom I have known, and am getting to know now… Our God has given us a treasure beyond all description in Christ, our Lord, and we are continually invited to come deeper, to know him better, to become more and more wrapped up in him, so that our lives will reveal him to everyone around us, and bring glory to him.. This is something we can pray for ourselves and all those whom we love, regardless of what is happening in their lives at any time, for to know God personally, to delight in him, is to be desired above all things, and can be real in all situations.

Almighty God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Maker of all things, we pray today for your people, those whom Jesus died to save, who are sealed and marked out by the presence of your Holy Spirit in our lives: may we learn to know you better, to enjoy living with you from day to day.

May we see in one another the glorious inheritance which you are establishing – a people who know your love and power and who glorify and serve you. Grant us wisdom and discernment to see Christ, and all his ways, and by your Spirit enable us to follow that way with gladness, for his name’s sake we pray, Amen.

On being afraid…. 4

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Joseph went up .. to Bethlehem… to register with Mary.. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son… and there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David, a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them… The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

(Lk 2.1-20, extracts)

We really know very little about the appearance of God’s angelic messengers – but it must have been something way out of the ordinary, since everyone who sees them is scared stiff! And in today’s reading, there is not just one, but a ‘great company’ of angels – those poor flat-out-terrified shepherds! Do you think that only one had been sent, but the rest couldn’t resist joining in the announcement? This news, this birth was the biggest thing since creation, and it is only reasonable to expect a degree of anticipation, wonder and celebration in the heavenly realms, on the safe delivery of the incarnate son of God to Mary and Joseph. I love the idea that the dignified announcement of the single angel was suddenly hijacked by all the others who were just so full of praise for God that they had to let it out..

Clearly, the shepherds were not so overwhelmed by fear that they could no longer think straight, and there was no hesitation or doubt in their minds as they set off to see for themselves what had happened – how true to life that is, we always want the evidence of our own eyes, and the angel had given them a clue to help them find the right child (were many babies being born in Bethlehem that night?!). Can you picture the little town that night, being disrupted by a bunch of shepherds knocking on doors and asking about new babies – how people must have wondered what they were doing? They were meant to be out with the sheep after all! There is a definite element of the comic and ridiculous in this wonderfully human tale…

And finally, they come to the right house, the one where the baby is lying, wrapped in the swaddling of a new-born, safe in the stone manger. And there they worship, praising God and sharing with the astonished parents what has just happened to them on the hill. All at once, Mary’s secret knowledge, the truth disclosed to Joseph and revealed to Elizabeth has become public property. These men are calling Jesus, “Saviour”, and “Christ” which means anointed one – the promised Messiah. And not only did they share with Mary and Joseph, but everyone else whom they had roused in the town by their search!  Bethlehem that night was not a particularly silent place, in spite of what our carols suggest…

Do you notice the repetition of particular words, ‘glorifying and praising God’?  This had been what the angels were doing when they filled the skies with light and thundered the good news; it is what the shepherds did after they had seen the baby for themselves. And it is what happens time and time again in the gospel stories and through the history of the church, as people see God’s power at work and respond to him.

Heavenly Father, help me I pray, to recognise your hand at work; help me in this season to recognise afresh the magnitude of your purpose in sending Jesus to become human and to be our Saviour.

Let the depth of love revealed by his incarnation bring me to glorify and praise you more and more. Let me not be unmoved by the mystery of God-made-man, but prompted to share in the gladness and rejoicing of the shepherds as they saw and witnessed to the truth.

Let me make a joyful noise, so that all those around me know that something wonderful has happened!! In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen.

On being reminded of one’s weakness..

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“You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you. Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theatre, but the God who made you won’t be applauding. When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to it..”

(Matt 5.48-6.2)

Something relatively trivial happened today, a long-awaited plan to meet a friend fell through due to an error on my part in naming the date. She had arranged her diary to accommodate me on one day, but I was hoping to see her the next day… Two disappointed people, and one with every good reason to be irritated at the other! And my reaction to the discovery that it was my error gave me pause to reflect… Why was I so upset? My friend has (I think) forgiven me and we will manage a short meeting, but I am left with a rather sick feeling and discomfort. I realised that it is because I am rather proud of myself as a friend – as the one who keeps appointments, makes a lot of effort to maintain relationships – and this episode has undermined that good opinion! I have been gently and clearly reminded that I am mortal, frail and as prone to error as my neighbour – there are no grounds for pride here, only gratitude for the kindness and friendship of others who are willing to forgive me.

This small event has also served as a reminder of the larger and more important relationship in my life – with Jesus my Lord, and my Heavenly Father, with whom I live by the Spirit at work in me. I need to guard against the temptation to think well of myself as a believer, to remember that of myself, I could do nothing towards my salvation and that I am utterly dependent on my Father’s love and the Son’s atoning death in order to receive the kindness and forgiveness which I need. I will never deserve God’s goodness, in the same way that I do not deserve the kindness of my friends. But I am so grateful for both!

Some of Jesus’ harshest words were for those who were proud of their spiritual habits, performance and status, whose self-worth derived in large part from being known for their public piety, generosity and diligent attendance at synagogue or temple. Believers are just as vulnerable to this trap, whereby the devil twists what are actually good habits into becoming a source of false pride. When we like to be thought of by others as somehow extra-specially holy, biblically knowledgeable, or prayerful, then we are trapped into performance and base our worth on actions instead of on Christ’s sacrificial death for us.

I am brought back over and over again to the truth that it is only in God’s naming of us as his beloved, redeemed children that we find our significance and self-worth. When I begin to value the opinion of others (and my own opinion of myself), then I am drifting away from my only security, which is in Christ. I want to be kept prayerfully aware of my own weakness in this regard; to keep asking to be cleansed by the Spirit from all false pride in myself and filled instead with gratitude for what I have been made by Christ, and am being enabled daily to do by the Spirit. If there is any pride, then it should be in my Saviour, by whose blood I am bought, and whose life in me is the source of all that is good.

This reliance upon Christ alone also releases me from excessive reaction to my own ongoing weakness. My friend knows my heart and has forgiven me – I am not less in her eyes because of my error. How much more does Jesus know my heart, and forgive my errors! I need not spiral down into self-condemnation after making mistakes, but instead rejoice that my value as a person in God’s sight is unchanged! His hold on me is as firm and tenderly secure as it will ever be, and my experiences of failure or error simply make his love and faithfulness to me even more precious and life-giving. I truly rest in him, I give over the burdens and accept in return the weighty gift of grace.

Getting out of the valley…

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Who of us can dwell with the consuming fire?… Those who walk righteously and speak what is right… they are the ones who will dwell on the heights, whose refuge will be the mountain fortress. Their bread will be supplied, and water will not fail them. 

Your eyes will see the king in his beauty and view a land that stretches afar… your eyes will see Jerusalem, a peaceful abode, a tent that will not be moved, its stakes will never be pulled up, nor any of its ropes broken. There the Lord will be our Mighty One. It will be like a place of broad rivers and streams.. For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; it is he who will save us.

(Isa 33.14-17,20-22)

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither – whatever they do prospers.

(Ps 1.1-3)

“It is written; ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”

(Matt 5.4)

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

(Jn 4.14)

In these days I am testifying with a full and grateful heart to God’s keeping and directing of me over these months; for his sustaining grace through struggle and weariness; guarding me from folly and from dishonouring him as I seemed to be walking in a maze of dead ends down in the valleys, hungry for the wide open spaces which I believed to be out there! Thanks be to God, who has led and fed, and kept company with me, through his people and through his word – provided for the feeding of his people, who have the privilege of continually being nourished and learning afresh from it. I have received a revelation of grace, experienced the unravelling of knots and been led up over the foothills to the great ‘high ways’ of God’s people.

I am rejoicing in God’s goodness – with renewed appetite for his word and confidence in its power as I see it bear fruit in my life. I am delighting in prospect of a study group with whom to share in learning, sisters in Christ with whom to grow in faith, to share the sheer joy of learning to know God better, to see Jesus more clearly and to worship him with them. A rich banquet is laid out before us on which to feast, where we will meet God and honour him. Truly, our good shepherd provides good food and clear waters for us!

There is a sense of having left behind the narrow and baffling lanes in the valley with their restricted views and lack of perspective. Now I am walking on the ridges, my vision is far-ranging; I can see where I am and where I am going within the context of God’s great plan of redemption and re-creation. The air is clean and invigorating, the prospect glorious, I have food and drink in abundance for my spirit, and lack nothing.

And by whose agency am I brought to this place? By the One whose righteousness is now my inheritance and secure possession, by Jesus Christ the one who has paid for all my sins and through whom I am adopted as God’s beloved daughter. It is all by his loving sacrifice, and thus to him belongs all my praise and thanks. I see the king in his beauty, and the glorious sight brings me such peace and hope. I see the spacious land to which I now belong, and where I will dwell with God and all the saints, and I am near to bursting point with gladness and praise!

Heavenly Father, I thank you for the lessons which you have been teaching me in the valley; and for your preservation of me in those devious and trying paths. I praise you that your grace is now more fully revealed to me, and I am reinvigorated for my journey. Let me not forget the lessons of the valley – above all let me not forget that I can trust you to be working even when I am baffled, grieved and weak. In the name and for the sake of my precious Lord and Saviour, Jesus, I pray, Amen.

Remember, remember.. and give thanks

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Lord, for the years your love has kept and guided; urged and inspired us, cheered us on our way; sought us and saved us, pardoned and provided; Lord of the years, we bring our thanks today.

Lord, for our world, when we disown and doubt him, loveless in strength and comfortless in pain; hungry and helpless, lost indeed without him; Lord of the world, we pray that Christ may reign.

Lord, for ourselves, in living power remake us – self on the cross and Christ upon the throne, past put behind us, for the future take us, Lord of our lives, to live for Christ alone.

(T. Dudley-Smith, 1926-)

O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief… I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 

(Ps 143.1,5&6,8-10)

At the end of November 2023, my husband and I set off to travel to Lausanne, Switzerland, where he would be taking care of the (then vacant) Church of Scotland congregation during December. It was three months since we had left Gairloch, we had both been ill with COVID, and the autumn had been long and wet. We had no idea whether there was a long-term future for us in ministry, but meantime, we had five weeks in a comfortable flat in a beautiful city and the freedom to explore a new country. God was holding us, giving us grace not to look to the future (not too often anyway), and to appreciate the gifts which came each day.

As I look back to that time from this vantage point, 12 months later, I am quite simply brought to my knees in worship and thanksgiving. Our faithful, loving and wise Father kept us, enriched and blessed us until we were ready to hear from another congregation; until my husband’s weariness had been at least partly refreshed, and his sense of call to ministry reaffirmed by those weeks of serving in Switzerland.

We had watched the sun rise over Europe from the deck of the ferry, wondering what lay beyond that horizon; what lay beyond this brief season of caretaker ministry? I don’t think I doubted that God would provide for us, but how I struggled with waiting, with ignorance, with not being in control! And now as I remember, I give thanks for the daily provision of patience, beauty, and ultimately God’s good timing and the events which have brought us to ministry in Inverness.

God has provided good works for us to do for him here; He has given us a church family to belong to and a community to serve; He has given us fresh opportunities to use who we are and what He has given us all to His glory. How can we not be filled with gladness and gratitude?!

And so, as this year draws to a close and we face 2025 with all the pain, uncertainty and darkness which is abroad in the world, and which impacts our lives in so many ways, I have a choice. Will I remember how faithfully God has kept his promises, has provided, guided and inspired? Will I trust more fully this time, as He asks me to step into an unknown future? Can I sing with the hymn writer, and pray with the psalmist – leaving the past behind, and committing myself in childlike trust to a future path which God chooses and into which his Spirit will guide me?

Father, when she remembers your faithfulness, your child is ashamed of her lack of trust, and her fretfulness. You are trustworthy, you are good, you are patient and careful, and do all things well. Your world needs to hear about Jesus, and you have appointed your children to share the work of proclaiming his saving work; we who know him and can testify to his love and the transforming power of your spirit at work. May I, together with all your people, remember your faithfulness to your promises and be renewed in hope, in love and in faith. May we live with quiet confidence in you, and commit ourselves fully to Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray, Amen.

The precious gift of contentment

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The Lord said to Moses, “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” So they will put my name on the Israelites and I will bless them.”

(Num6.22-27)

Make your face shine on your servant and teach me your decrees.. I call with all my heart; answer me, Lord, and I will obey your decrees. I call out to you; save me and I will keep your statutes. I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.. Hear my voice in accordance with your love; preserve my life, Lord, according to your laws. Those who devise wicked schemes are near, but they are far from your law. Yet you are near, Lord, and all your commands are true.

(Ps 119.135,145-147,149-151)

The past weeks and months have seen great upheavals in my life, and it has been a season of change, challenge and distress; of grieving for the loss of many good things, even as I strove to give thanks that I had enjoyed them for a time. The Lord has been patient, faithful and so kind to me. Through bible reading, by the simple passage of time, through the ministry of many friends – in prayer and in person – I am come to a more spacious place and there is a deep sense of freedom and acceptance, for which I give profound thanks! There has been assurance from many different places, that I am not being called to a new labour, but rather to continue simply being present for new people in a new place – being available to listen, to share, to welcome and to walk with others. I am the home-maker, the garden-tender, and those are not ministries to be despised. I have time, God’s gift to me each day, to be available for others and to make good things to share with them. What a wonderful calling!

So this week as I write, I simply want to celebrate the ways that God cares for us, his children, and to acknowledge the trustworthiness of his word for us.

You, O Lord, are the source of all good things. You made us to receive your blessings, and we are those who bear your name – what an honour and privilege, what a responsibility to bear it well! Your word shapes us – that is one of your blessings to us – and it shows us who you are, and what you are like, it shows us Jesus. What riches are ours in this word! This Jesus brings us into a relationship with you, and because of him, you are transforming us, preparing us for eternal life in your presence. Truly, we live in the warmth of your smile and are blessed.

You are near to us, O Lord, and you hear and answer us. We never speak to deafness or indifference, but as your children are heard and cherished. How marvellous to know your comforting presence and attentive ear. Thank you for your power at work in us, to renew, re-create, comfort, correct and guide. Because you dwell within us, we are being made into the likeness of Jesus, made both willing and able to be and to do what you desire. Your word tells me that you have set your covenant love upon me – therefore I will trust your word, and live as one beloved of the Most High, secure and fearless in the world.

Thank you my Father, for the peace and contentment which is your gift to me in these days, as you help me to make this new place my home and the location of my ministry in your kingdom. Thank you for reminding me in so many ways, that I have nothing to prove, no one to compete against, and that my place and calling do not need to earn anyone’s approval – except yours. Let me be content then, to enjoy all the good things you give me in such a way that I bless your people and glorify my Father in heaven; sharing the love of Jesus and praising you for the encouragement of those around me. O Father, may I bear your name well, for Jesus’ sake, Amen.

For all the saints…

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For all the saints, who from their labours rest, who Thee by faith before the world confessed; Thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest. Alleluia, Alleluia!

Thou wast their Rock, their Fortress and their Might; Thou, Lord, their Captain in the well-fought fight; Thou, in the darkness drear, their one true Light. Alleluia, Alleluia!

(W.W. How, 1864)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

(Heb 12.1&2)

It is good to remember, to give thanks, and to reflect on the blessings of my heritage of faith. This week marked 16 years since father’s death at the age of 69. He died at home, after several years of dealing with cancer, and in that time he taught us so much about submission to God’s will, and contentment in God’s timing and providence. In his acceptance of the illness, he found peace and even joy, and became eager to depart and be with his Lord. My father did not rage against his dying, but graciously and humbly embraced the path marked out for him by God, and never showed any resentment. We were therefore also able release him into our Lord’s hand and keeping,  trusting our heavenly Father to care for us as we said farewell to our human father. I am profoundly thankful that his memory is not a painful thing, but a sweet and joyous thing, bringing tears only when particular joys come to me that I know he would have shared. What a wonderful gift, to be able to remember with gladness and also to know that our parting is only for a time…

He was a father, a faithful son, brother, husband and friend to many, much beloved. He was loyal above all to  the saviour to whom he gave his life as a very young man, and to whose service all his life was devoted. He was a deeply  contented man, finding joy in growing things, in light and colour, in the beauty of creation, and in his family and friendships – one who valued the gifts of God, but loved the Giver most of all.

My father was not perfect, but he was persevering in his faith, and thus his memory is a great and continual source of glad encouragement to me, because I too am not perfect, but by God’s help I am persevering! My father was beloved of God, he trusted in Jesus for salvation and lived to honour Christ – he was a saint in the proper sense of the word. He wasn’t a special class of Christian (there is no such thing as a hierarchy of believers), nor one to whom we should pray (as if Christ were not listening to us, or unwilling to answer our prayers), but he was a saint – one whom God has declared (through Jesus) to be right with him, one chosen and precious and eternally saved. I give thanks for and am proud to be numbered alongside him. The saints of previous generations are examples to us of faithfulness; they testified to God’s goodness and saving power; they modelled godliness and perseverance. From them we learn that although God may not deal with our challenges in the same way as theirs, He is yet a good and faithful God who can and will act for and through us. His promises can be trusted, and our perseverance is possible!

It is, I think, a good ambition for me: to emulate this man in his godliness, contentment and perseverance of faith. I too would be remembered as one who loved Jesus, and showed love and gentleness, generosity and warmth to all who come my way. I would honour my earthly father, by honouring our heavenly Father until the day dawns when we are reunited in his presence and forever share that joy of divine life without shade of guilt, pain or sorrow.

It can be complicated..

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You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

(Ps 139.1-6)

Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones… 

(Isa 49.13)

I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me – just as the Father knows me and I know the Father..

(Jn 10.14&15)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Phil 3.4-7)

Have you ever been totally disconcerted by your own reactions and feelings, finding that what is expected of you, by other people and by yourself, is totally different from the reality? Human beings are so much more complicated than we realise, and it is one of the most comforting things about being a beloved child of God, that our Father knows us better than we do, and He accepts us in all our confusion.

In the past few months, I have moved away from a community, a life, an environment, which I loved. I am living now in a season of uncertainty, with no clarity about the long-term future and hence no capacity to either commit to the place we now live, or to make plans. I have also just become a grand-parent for the first time..

And I am bombarded by messages of congratulation, the expectations that I will be ‘over the moon’ and ‘walking on air’. Nope… There has been overwhelming relief, that all is well and the baby and his parents are beginning to know one another. Thankfulness, for all who are helping to support the new parents in various ways; sadness that we live too far away to be useful in this challenging time; anxiety for the parents as they fight exhaustion, and cope with the unknowns of a new baby. In addition, there is grief over my recent losses, anxiety for our own uncertain future and its consequences for life now, and guilt, since I am not reacting the way others expect and my emotions are continually tripping me up. It’s all very messy!

What a relief then that I am in the safe-keeping of a tender loving Father, who knows me through and through! I am not judged by my Father for my mixed-up emotions, and he invites me to shift their burden onto his shoulders, so that I may rest in his love and strength. All the feelings are valid responses to real events in my life, and each one prompts me to bring my situation to my Father in prayer, to tell him all that I feel and confess where I am fearful and anxious instead of trusting. He accepts me, with all this baggage, and holds me fast, inviting me to embrace the truth of his love and purposes of good for me.

How marvellous to have such a Father, such a companion through life! One who never loses patience with me, or is in a bad mood and unable to make time for me; one who is always loving, gentle, compassionate and firm when I need to be challenged and have my thinking straightened out by his truth. I worship this God, the Creator who knows all and still loves me, I praise and thank him for the safest of safe places where I am held tight in his arms and kept.

Loving Father, I rest in your love for me and in the assurance that you know me through and through. I praise you that I can come as I am, at any time, and unburden myself to you. I praise you that in Christ I am accepted and beloved, and your plans for me are to be trusted. 

As I rest in your love today, I pray that I might be renewed in trust and become steadier to face my circumstances and love those to whom you have called me. Let me hand over my burdens, that I may be free to have compassion on others and to have wisdom in loving them in turn. Thank you for all those who have modelled your love in accepting me with all my confusion. May I in turn love as you have loved me, not judging others in their particular and unique needs, but bringing them to your light and truth and ever-open arms.

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Thankfulness is not boasting…

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Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

(1Thess 5.16-18)

Praise the Lord. I will extol the Lord with all my heart in the council of the upright and in the assembly. Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them. Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and his righteousness endures for ever. He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate….

The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy. they are steadfast for ever and ever, done in faithfulness and uprightness. He provided redemption for his people; he ordained his covenant for ever – holy and awesome is his name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

(Ps 111.1-4,7-10)

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

(Rom 12.15)

Job.. fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised….. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

(Job 1.20&21; 2.10)

I am in a season of abundance, shall I fail then to give thanks to the giver of every good and perfect gift? I am acutely aware that many of those near and dear to me are walking in shadows, living with open wounds of grief and clouded prospects of despair – but that should surely not diminish my desire to praise and thank the Lord for what he has allotted to me in these days. It is good and right that the greatest cause for our thanksgiving should always be our salvation, by the great redeeming work of God through Jesus Christ, but surely we should also recognise and fully appreciate the many other good things which we receive?!

I have known grief and trouble, I shall know them again. I have known fear and doubt, I shall know them again. I have known dryness of spirit and weariness of soul, I shall know them again. BUT…. today, when my life is overflowing with good things, today I should be as whole-hearted in my rejoicing as I am in lament when life is painful. My Father God knows my frame, and knows my heart, and delights to show his love to me – I will therefore not despise these gifts and this season of abundance, but rather boast in the love which he bears for me, and ascribe all the glory to him.

All that he gives, I will choose to receive with thankfulness. When it is loss or struggle, I thank him for his unfailing presence with me, his provision for and good purposes in me through the trials. When it is abundance, I thank him for the refreshment of spirit, the ease of mind, the upwelling of gladness which come to me by the gifts; and I pray that I might not take credit for them but lift each one up in thankfulness to honour him as the giver, and not myself as in anyway deserving or earning them. I make this wonderful and familiar psalm my own song and prayer in these days:-

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

In grass meadows He makes me lie down, by quiet waters guides me.

My life He brings back. He leads me on pathways of justice for His name’s sake.

Though I walk in the vale of death’s shadow, I fear no harm, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff – it is they that console me.

You set out a table before me in the face of my foes. You moisten my head with oil, my cup overflows.

Let but goodness and kindness pursue me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for many long days.

(Psalm 23, R Alter translation)

Father God, as I survey the many wonderful ways in which I am blessed in this season of life, may I receive each one as your gift, and hold it ready to offer up again to you, for your purposes and your glory. My health, my strength and opportunities; my marriage and my children; my abilities, friendships and resources – all these are yours to give and to withdraw, and in all circumstances, I would choose to praise you and to give thanks for you as my God, the one whom alone I fear and worship, and who does all things well. Keep me thankful, humble and make me fruitful, for Jesus’ sake, Amen.