And breathe…

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Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm.  He said : “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundations? .. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know? Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone – while all the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?

“Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?… Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been shown to you?.. Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?”

(Job 38, extracts)

My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. 

But I have stilled and quietened my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and evermore.

(Ps 131)

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.. and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

(Rom 5.1,2&5)

I sometimes feel that I have spent much of my adult life trying on different roles, looking at other people and wondering if I ought to be more like them. As I approach my elder years, the pattern persists, and my thoughts continually dwell on what I ought to be doing as a responsible, adult, servant of God – doing with my time, my talents, my body. I can’t seem to get to the place of peaceful maturity which I see in so many other people, and which looks so comfortable! I know that my salvation and identity as God’s beloved child is assured to me, and to that degree, I am at peace with my Father because I live in his love – the only true foundation for peace in this world.

But I remain restless and deeply unsure about what my time and energies are for.. I try one thing, then another; I compare my life and habits to other people and wonder if their pattern is the one for me. I hear an interminable inner monologue of doubt and uncertainty; and underlying that doubt is a major weakness, which is the desire for someone else to tell me exactly what I am for and how that should work itself out day-to-day in my life.

The monologue has been particularly loud in recent weeks, and while I am – obviously – praying for wisdom and the Lord to be working through this to bring me to a fresh discernment and peace in His calling, I also need to be actively seeking ways to switch off the inner voice.. This morning, that looked like a walk near our house, which takes me by a swiftly running river, through great trees and a broad parkland, past beautiful buildings and hardly any busy roads. It was a deliberate step into God’s handiwork, and having chosen to leave my phone at home, it was also a choice to keep all my senses engaged with my surroundings.

And how quickly the Lord met me with his gifts of love – the sense of cold fresh air on my skin; the beauty of the great cedar tree reflected in the water; the calm and focussed absorption of the fisherman with his graceful line floating over the surface; the fascinating immobility of a heron, sheltering in a waterside thicket and seeking food; the sound of running water and the joyous abandon of a dog racing after a ball, every line of its body expressing the joy of being alive.

I returned home refreshed in spirit, and full of thankfulness for the miracle which it is to be alive in God’s good world, and to see, hear, taste and touch the good things which He so generously gives. I am calmed, and reminded that it is ok not to understand, ok to find life overwhelming at times, ok just to slow right down and to be.

Loving Father, I thank and praise you for the gift of this day’s life in your amazing creation. I thank you for the truth that I am safe in your arms, and you love me – no matter what muddles I get into in my thinking about what I am for. Thank you that you delight in me as I am. Thank you that you are so much greater than I can possible imagine, and that your love will never run out. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Losing it.. or gaining it?

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And God spoke all these words: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me.”

(Ex 20.1-3)

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. you guide me with your counsel, and afterwards you will take me into glory. 

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.

(Ps 73.23-26)

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself an take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”

(Matt 16.24-26)

“The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me.. My Father will honour the one who serves me”

(Jn 12.25&26)

I have always loved the words of psalm 73, where the author speaks so passionately about his hope in God, and boldly asserts that nothing else really matters to him compared to knowing that this almighty and eternal being is also the One who cares for and keeps hold of the psalmist. When life is calm and comfortable, it can be easy to speak these words, and to believe that I mean them, since my heart’s desire truly is to honour and love God above all other things or beings. But God takes us at our word, and through the circumstances of our lives, He will give us opportunities to put this claim into practice, to learn what it really means to desire God more, and to hold everything else lightly.

As I grow older, and my friends also age, I am watching life become more and more challenging. I see bereavement, chronic illness and pain, the persistent straying of children from their faith, the natural effect of ageing which diminishes strength and capacity, and can even rob us of our identity as our minds succumb to disease. I see people being steadily stripped of all that defined them – their relationships, their hobbies and activities, their service in the church community, their fitness, their cognitive abilities, every semblance of control and agency. What remains? What is the believer being called to do in this season of loss?

The gospel tells us that of ourselves, we have nothing which can win salvation, no merit except what we are offered by God’s grace in Christ Jesus. We are perhaps used to that idea – of having nothing to offer – but how do we react when God chooses to give us the opportunity to live it? This stripping away of all that we naturally hold dear – so many of God’s good gifts, by which He has blessed us and enriched our lives, and enabled us to live and serve him joyfully down the years – what is this season offering me? What am I being invited into?

All that ultimately belongs to me is my identity as God’s child; only His claiming and redeeming of me gives me any significance. But that significance – by His grace in Jesus – is eternal and is the source of life, the life that is real, the divine life which equips me to share in my destiny as God’s child with him in the new earth and heavens. This cannot be stripped away, not even by the loss of cognitive ability which may come to me. This cannot be lost through bereavement or physical degeneration and the limitations of age-related illness and weakness. I AM and always will be, beloved and secure and at home with my Lord, and one day will know the fullness of that life where sorrow, pain and loss are unknown, and all that seems to be lost to me now, is more than restored.

I believe that as I age, and experience all the stripping away of cherished roles, gifts, experiences, I am being offered the opportunity to depend in a wholly new way on the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father, and to rejoice in my identity in Him. As I face loss, I am invited to gain in intimacy with God, in peaceful acceptance of His providence, in mature faith which sees the ever-brightening future glory and trusts for the daily gifts of strength and endurance, joy and hope to reach it.

Dear Father, thank you that you know how much your children shrink from suffering of all kinds, and in your mercy, I pray that we will find help and grace in our time of need. Let our ageing, and all that it brings, work your will in our lives. As we lose, so also may we gain. You have promised that those who follow you will be with you, and that promise is our hope.

Give us daily courage and strength to trust you; in our grief over loss, may we keep on turning to you for aid, to keep us faithful and hopeful, obedient and surrendered to your will. May we prove your faithfulness as we enter this season, and find that although it may look like a wilderness, yet you bring springs of living water to our lips and songs of joy to our hearts as we taste and see how good You are. May we have the honour of witnessing to your faithfulness, and saying with the psalmist that although our heart and flesh have failed, yet you are our all-sufficient portion, for ever. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Accepting that I am responsible..

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Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or – worse – stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

(Matt 6.19-21)

Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the the centre of your life.

Summing it all up, friends. I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realised. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

(Phil 4.4-9)

Let me start by making one thing quite clear.. I am NOT in any way advocating salvation by works! I believe that saving faith in Jesus Christ as Lord is the only means by which God has ordained that people should come into his family and kingdom. So what do I mean by the acceptance of responsibility?

Well, I was challenged recently by words spoken in a YouTube video by the author and teacher, Beth Moore, who was exhorting us as believers to take responsibility for ourselves. And by this she referred to the daily realities which we face, of choices about how we spend our time, what our priorities are, and whether or not we choose to continually reorientate ourselves towards our heavenly Father. As a beloved daughter of the King of Kings, forgiven and cherished, I can come with shameless boldness into the throne room, a boldness arising out of the security which Christ’s death has won for me. How shameful it would be if I disregarded the sacrifice of Jesus, and hung back as though something more were needed to make me welcome in my Father’s house!

Taking responsibility for myself then means to recognise that I still have a choice every day, and in every situation. Will I melt into a puddle of self-pity, making myself the victim of circumstances? Or will I recognise that as someone made alive in Christ, released from slavery to sin, I have access to the eternal power of God to transform me and to sustain me in every situation? I stand in a direct and intimate relation to this powerful and loving God, and it is to Him alone that I look for aid – not to any friend, spouse, family member or faith leader. What will I choose to do? I pray for courage and faith to stand on my own feet, putting myself over and over again into God’s hands, and affirming my surrender to His will and purposes.

He is my rescuer, and my master and I am called to be his faithful labourer – neither a spectator nor a passive unthinking slave.  As I discipline myself to live intimately with God – through prayer and growing absorption of the truth revealed to us in the bible – then I am responsibly doing what I can do, in order for God to do what only He can! I make it my business to be in the place where I am surrendered to his work, hearing his voice, and allowing nothing to prevent his word from changing my whole being.

Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me that I am invited by you into a loving relationship, and that as your daughter, I am at home with you always. I pray that your Spirit would work in me to cleanse me from a readiness toward self-pity, towards blaming others and expecting them to fix me!

Help me to recognise that in you, I am offered transforming power, saving love, and eternal hope – and as I learn the daily habits which keep me turning towards and not away from you, this power is at work. Let me be mature in faith, that maturity which recognises how completely dependent I am on you, and chooses to seek and trust you first in every situation.

Thank you for the sufficiency of the saving work of my Lord Jesus, in whose name I pray, Amen.

When the heart yearns..

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You don’t want to hear Him – but He is calling your name.

You don’t want to follow Him – but your life is in His hands.

Your choices are taking you further and further from the fold – but His love is as strong as ever, and you are precious in His sight.

May you be gifted with restlessness; with hunger for more; with the ability to respond and to recognise your emptiness without Him.

May you be brought home before it is too late.

May you be confronted by Christ, even as you turn away from Him, and have no peace until you make peace with Him.

O, child of my heart, come home!

Who is it that you know for whom this blessing is your prayer? A sibling, a parent, a spouse? A friend, or a beloved child? This grief, borne by so many in the world, is a small echo of the heart of our Father, who yearns over all his children, and desires that none should perish apart from His love. It is a grief which we shy away from, preferring to think about other things, praying about other issues, but actually, the salvation of each and every person is God’s desire – and therefore should also matter to us, should touch us deeply. But how much pain lies in this – as yet- unanswered prayer..

The gift of salvation is one which cannot be inherited from our parents, nor caught by proximity and long exposure to other believers. Each person must come to a living and direct relationship with God, by faith in Jesus, if they are to be assured of eternal life and hope. There is no other way, and so this one greatest gift, which we long to see all our dear ones share, remains one which we cannot give them. 

The bible teaches how God offers his love and grace to all who will respond in repentance and faith; and time and again through the Old Testament, the prophets give voice to God’s lament over the stubborn hearts of his people. Beloved children, who turn away from him and who – knowing the truth – seem immune to the love and saving power of the God who woos them so passionately. Did God fail in his love and care? Is that why the people drifted away from him? Merely writing those words jolts me into recognising that the problem does not lie with God, but with the heart of humankind, which so readily settles for less than God’s best for us, and chooses to believe that in some way we can benefit from God’s care without actually caring about him.

As human parents, friends and family members, we have all had opportunities to share the good news with our dear ones; and we know that we have also failed many times to do so – whether in word or deed. To berate ourselves over lost opportunities is fruitless, and also denies God’s grace and forgiveness. But where does that leave us, as believers grieving over lost sheep? Are we responsible for their absence from the fold? In the parable of the lost sheep, Jesus makes no mention of why one animal had gone so far astray, focussing instead on the loving determination of the shepherd to find and rescue it. That comforts me, because it puts the onus on the rescuer, the divine shepherd, to do for the sheep what only he can do, and what he has done in dying to save them. I am only one of the sheep, not the shepherd! 

I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me – just as the Father knows me and I know the Father – and I lay down my life for the sheep.

(Jn 10.14&15)

What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

(Matt 18.12-14)

I have no ready answers to the question of why those raised in the faith should stray from it, hardening their hearts and seeming deaf to the loving call of their shepherd and saviour. I have no glib assurance that our prayers for their salvation will be readily answered. But I do know that my grief over the straying lamb is something that God wants me to feel fully, to carry willingly and prayerfully day by day. This grief – like other pains which we are called to bear – is a spur to prayerful dependence on my Father, for the fulfilment of his will and the display of his glory. 

Dear Father, your heart knows the grief which comes from watching beloved children straying and living without you at the centre of their lives. Thank you that this grief which I am called to carry is not strange to you, and that even as I ache, your love for me is strong and sure, and you call me to bring this burden too and lay it at your feet. Let me love, and pray and trust you for my straying sheep, for my Lord Jesus died for them, and in his name, I pray for them, Amen.

On blessing with our words… why do it?

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So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.”

(Gen 1.21-23)

And the Lord said to Moses, “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them:

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace.

“So they will put my name on the Israelites, and I will bless them.”

(Num 6.22-27)

Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in his ways…. May the Lord bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, and may you live to see your children’s children..

(Ps 128.1,5&6)

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good…..Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

(Rom 12.9&14)

“Bless you!” How readily those words come to our lips when someone sneezes, but what do we mean? The briefest dive into the internet to find out what ‘bless’ means will leave you rather overwhelmed, and I am certainly not equipped to undertake a detailed exploration in this blog! But, I firmly believe that since we are created in the image of God, designed to reflect his character and share his purposes, we can also share in his work of blessing.

In Genesis, the word first appears as part of an exhortation to the created order, that it might thrive and fulfill its purpose; later it will be part of God’s first announcement to Abraham of the great plan to send a redeemer through Abrahams’ descendants who will bring deliverance, healing and true prosperity to all the nations. These ‘blessings’ are rooted in God’s power and goodness – what He plans, He will carry out, and it will be for His glory and also for the true and deepest good of all who are in covenant relationship with Him. This is true throughout scripture, and wherever we read of blessing, we need to remember that it will be rooted and driven by God’s purposes of love, even when we can’t understand how they are being worked out. The greatest blessing ever given to creation, is the redeeming work of Christ Jesus – the fulfilment of that promise to Abraham – but on Good Friday, it did not look like a comfortable or easy blessing, it looked like utter defeat and failure…..

If I want to be like my Father in heaven then, I want to share in his work of blessing – of reminding others where goodness and security and hope really lie, so that they too can rest in the finished work of Christ and share in God’s work in the world. I take the words which I have, and I offer them as a channel by which God may speak His goodness, power, healing and hope into the lives of others, reminding them of the truth. This is what God was commanding the priests to do when Moses was given that beautiful blessing for Aaron to speak over the people. That short blessing is one which we can readily use in our own context, speaking God’s love, favour and saving power over his children for their encouragement and help.

Ultimately, when we live as God’s children in this world, we are called to offer life in His name to those around us, to be channels of His love in ways that help others to choose life (which is to know Jesus), and not death. So how can my words bless others in this way? How can I meet those with whom I will come into contact, in ways which will help them to live as God desires? This is what God’s blessing has always been directed towards – the ultimate rescue and transformation of a dying world to new life in his kingdom. This is what it means to be blessed – to know the life of the age to come, the divine life which is God’s love. I must speak, I have the ability to write; I choose then that those things should be a means of blessing to others – even as God’s word bears fruit for eternal life, so also may my words, and yours, bear fruit in kingdom-building life.

The blessing of God Almighty, the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, be upon you and remain with you, now and for evermore, Amen.

On blessing..

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A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

(Prov 11.25)

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

(Lk 6.37-38)

What is the most personal and unique in each one of us is probably the very element which would, if it were shared or expressed, speak most deeply to others..

(Henri Nouwen, the Wounded Healer,1972)

And so, a new year is upon us and the calendar reminds us that our days are indeed numbered – but how thankful I am that only my Lord knows how many yet remain to me! What shall I do with what I have this year? What is my attitude to my resources, gifts, opportunities, weakness and suffering?

The bible teaches us that God has given gifts to his church in order that we might meet one another’s needs and also minister and witness to those who do not yet believe – in other words, I am God’s channel of blessing to others, and this is true even if I consider myself to have little to offer. It is the attitude of the heart which makes me fruitful as God’s agent of love, and I don’t need to worry about what I offer, since my God is the water-into-wine; bread-and-fish-multiplying miracle worker!

It is because of God’s abundant love for me that I can choose to love others abundantly – I need not fear, but trust that my need for assurance, acceptance and security are all more than met in Jesus Christ. Love may be made manifest in the gift of time and quiet presence; or in active service of others, giving our time and strength to make things happen. Love may be manifest in affording others the privilege of serving me – for my need is their opportunity to experience the blessing of abundant giving! This can be hard for our pride, but is surely a foundation and necessity for the building of true community – if pride keeps me from letting others know my needs and weakness, then I am not part of the body.

God asks me to bring all that I am and that He has given me – and this includes my weakness, my wounds, my burdens. When I trust God enough to believe that His grace works ALL things together for the good of his children, then I can offer up the darkness, the weariness, the pain, and worship him by saying, ‘Lord, this is all I have today, use it, be glorified in me through it, and bless others through it too!’ I can testify to the reality that such sacrifices do bring blessing – over the years I have shared in this blog about things which are sore and hard; and time and again I have received the consolation of others, and also the priceless blessing of hearing that my struggles have encouraged them in their own difficult situations.

As believers, we are in our Father’s business of being a blessing – through us, he sends love-in-action into a world in need, and into a growing kingdom of hearts submitted to him as Lord. This is not intended as a burden, but a joy-birthing purpose which will encompass all of our lives, in every season and situation. The prayer with which we can start each day is, ‘Lord, show me as I go about my duties, where you are calling me to love; and show me what love looks like in that situation.’ I can face my ageing with this confidence – I can always, always know that the Lord can bless others through me!

Heavenly Father, I rejoice at the beginning of this new year to know that you are unchanging, and your love is faithful and true. I rest today in the abundance of your goodness towards me, in Jesus Christ, and in the freedom which your grace has given me to be your means of blessing to others.

Let me walk with you into the new year, with all its opportunities, and with all the trials and joys which only you know will come to me. As I go with you, I can walk steadily, looking always for opportunities to bless and to share your goodness to me. Deliver me from false pride which disdains the service of others to my needs, and keep me humbly rejoicing in the priceless privilege of serving my Saviour with all that I am. For his glorious name’s sake I pray, Amen.

Set free to accept grace

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And finally, I let myself rest:

Fully,

Heavily,

Weak with relief.

I felt the strength of the encircling arms.

I sensed the steady-beating heart against which I was held.

His breath was warm on my face as He said to me,

“Darling girl, it is enough that you are and that I love you. Be at rest now, and let my love work healing and hope.”

(image: the Prodigal Daughter, Charlie Mackesy: St Ouen’s Parish Church, Jersey)

This image, shared with me at a recent retreat event, is what I want to finish on in 2025. I want to testify to the grace of my loving Father, an abundance of loving acceptance which has – over these past months, and through much pain – finally brought me to a place where I can truly accept His grace, and can fully rest in His love.

Much remains to be learnt, and I continue to be overwhelmed by His patience and gentleness with me, his forgetful child. But, I think that I have finally come home, where I belong, and a major battle is now behind me. I rest in a deeper way than ever before, and I am steadier and less vulnerable to outside influences which might cause me to stumble into despair and fear.

I am SO grateful, for all the ways that my Father has brought me to this place – through scripture, through wise counsel, through reading, and listening to sermons (one dating back over 100 years!). So many different prompts and aids, and all orchestrated by the Spirit to bring me here, where truth which I have known all my life has finally become lived and not merely learnt. Such transformation comes only by God’s power, and I am so thankful for this answer to the prayer of my despair.

It is my prayer for all my brothers and sisters in faith, and even more for all God’s children who still do not know how much they are loved and longed for, who are searching in so many other places for the peace which is found only in His arms; my prayer is that we might know this peace, the foundation of life itself, and of greater worth than anything this world can offer.

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust…. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame…. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour and my hope is in you all day long.

(Ps 25, extract)

On being afraid…. 4

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Joseph went up .. to Bethlehem… to register with Mary.. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son… and there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David, a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them… The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

(Lk 2.1-20, extracts)

We really know very little about the appearance of God’s angelic messengers – but it must have been something way out of the ordinary, since everyone who sees them is scared stiff! And in today’s reading, there is not just one, but a ‘great company’ of angels – those poor flat-out-terrified shepherds! Do you think that only one had been sent, but the rest couldn’t resist joining in the announcement? This news, this birth was the biggest thing since creation, and it is only reasonable to expect a degree of anticipation, wonder and celebration in the heavenly realms, on the safe delivery of the incarnate son of God to Mary and Joseph. I love the idea that the dignified announcement of the single angel was suddenly hijacked by all the others who were just so full of praise for God that they had to let it out..

Clearly, the shepherds were not so overwhelmed by fear that they could no longer think straight, and there was no hesitation or doubt in their minds as they set off to see for themselves what had happened – how true to life that is, we always want the evidence of our own eyes, and the angel had given them a clue to help them find the right child (were many babies being born in Bethlehem that night?!). Can you picture the little town that night, being disrupted by a bunch of shepherds knocking on doors and asking about new babies – how people must have wondered what they were doing? They were meant to be out with the sheep after all! There is a definite element of the comic and ridiculous in this wonderfully human tale…

And finally, they come to the right house, the one where the baby is lying, wrapped in the swaddling of a new-born, safe in the stone manger. And there they worship, praising God and sharing with the astonished parents what has just happened to them on the hill. All at once, Mary’s secret knowledge, the truth disclosed to Joseph and revealed to Elizabeth has become public property. These men are calling Jesus, “Saviour”, and “Christ” which means anointed one – the promised Messiah. And not only did they share with Mary and Joseph, but everyone else whom they had roused in the town by their search!  Bethlehem that night was not a particularly silent place, in spite of what our carols suggest…

Do you notice the repetition of particular words, ‘glorifying and praising God’?  This had been what the angels were doing when they filled the skies with light and thundered the good news; it is what the shepherds did after they had seen the baby for themselves. And it is what happens time and time again in the gospel stories and through the history of the church, as people see God’s power at work and respond to him.

Heavenly Father, help me I pray, to recognise your hand at work; help me in this season to recognise afresh the magnitude of your purpose in sending Jesus to become human and to be our Saviour.

Let the depth of love revealed by his incarnation bring me to glorify and praise you more and more. Let me not be unmoved by the mystery of God-made-man, but prompted to share in the gladness and rejoicing of the shepherds as they saw and witnessed to the truth.

Let me make a joyful noise, so that all those around me know that something wonderful has happened!! In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen.

On being afraid…. 3

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This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. 

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

(Matt 1.18-24)

“Is that wise?” Those words are an invitation to think again, to weigh the pros and cons of a choice of action, and sometimes they carry a heavy weight of judgement – the unspoken words being – “I personally think it’s crazy!!”

As human beings, designed by God to live in community and relationship, it is impossible for us to ignore the voices of those around, and especially of those with whom we live closely and whose opinions matter to us very much. That is a divine providence which can help us to avoid hasty and rash actions; it reminds us that there are consequences for other people arising from our choices; and it is an expression of love. We do well to pay attention to those human voices, to that love-in-action which is our community counterweight to folly and risk. But, and there is always a ‘but’ in the experience of fallen humanity, ultimately as believers, we need to make our choices based on God’s will for us, revealed in scripture and mediated by his Spirit to our spirits.

Human love is never perfect, and therefore human advice will always be rather less than ideal! God’s love for us, his children, is perfect and unfathomable, and ultimately therefore more trustworthy than any human affections. In addition, humanity cannot discern the full and glorious breadth and depth of God’s purposes, which means that even the most well-meaning and godly advice may fall short in keeping us in the centre of God’s will!

I think this was the case for Joseph, betrothed to Mary and deeply conflicted over what to do when he discovers her pregnancy. Humanly speaking, he is absolutely right to plan as he does – the quietest possible undoing of the marital bond (betrothal was virtually equivalent to marriage at that time). And we feel great sympathy for his plight! He listens to the cultural voices around him, intent on preserving his good name, and the  integrity of his family line… and we can surely forgive him for boggling at the very idea of Mary’s pregnancy being by the Spirit of God; there were no historical precedents for that!

And into that fog of conflicting feelings, of disappointment, suspicion, fear and grief, comes a clear word from God, “Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife”. The angelic visitor addresses Joseph as a son of David – the royal line of God’s people, from whom Messiah was foretold to come – and assures him that this incredible story is true, Mary is not lying to him, and most importantly, that the child to be born is that same Messiah. There is no promise that the condemning, disappointed or mocking voices of his culture will be silenced if he obeys, only the instruction itself.

We are not told whether Joseph spent the rest of that astonishing night wrestling in prayer, or whether he simply woke up in the morning and knew what he must do. Either way, he gives us a beautiful example of a servant of God who chose to listen first to the divine command, the voice of truth, and to trust that the improbable, the unpopular, the ‘unwise’ course was the right one, because it was God’s course for him, and now, for Mary too.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for the way that you met Joseph in his humanity and weakness, and did not condemn him, but assured him that it was possible to do the right thing, to step into his unique part in your purposes for the world and to dare the fearful onslaught of gossip, speculation, mockery and criticism which his actions would entail.

Help me in turn, Lord, to recognise your voice and to trust it. Help me to overcome fear of what others will say or think about me; help me to be willing to be a fool for Christ if you command it, so that your kingdom might be built, even through me. Help me to feel the fear, and do the right thing anyway! Thank you that you will always be with me to enable, to sustain and to keep me, and that nothing which is said by anyone else can undo the truth which you have said over me – I am loved, I am raised with Christ, and I will share the life of the age to come with you and all your people. Halleluia, Amen!

On being afraid ….. 2

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In the sixth month God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. the angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.”

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favour with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High….. The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you, so the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”

(Lk 1.26-38)

I have a vivid memory of the day when we discovered that I was pregnant with our first child – something we both wanted very much, and rejoiced over. There was at the same time a profound awareness that life had suddenly changed, and that nothing would ever be the same again – one does not ‘get over’ having a baby, in the way that one recovers from a bad cold, or a broken collar bone! In the midst of our rejoicing, there was an element of sadness for the uncomplicated life we were about to lose, and an element of fear for what might lie ahead.

To enter into a marriage, to become a parent, is a life-changing process and one which we enter without much of a clue how it might work out! Mary is presented with God’s message that she is to become the mother of the son of the Most High, to bear a child by the Holy Spirit – it is incomprehensible to us, and to her must have been quite overwhelming. God did not unpack all the details, or outline the consequences for her, but only the mystery of who this child would be – and that was enough for Mary. Perhaps there was a special grace given to her that day, so that she did not panic at the scale of the task appointed to her, but after wondering at its seeming impossibility, she quietly accepts the burden of blessing which is to be hers.

Mary’s beautiful song of praise, recorded later in Luke’s gospel, demonstrates her deep grasp of God’s purposes in history, of the promise of salvation, of the covenant love which shapes and directs the Almighty. She knew that there was a promised deliverer to come, and so although she must have been surprised to be chosen, yet she could see how God was inviting her to step into his purposes, not only for Israel but for all the world.

Mary takes the first step; she says, “Yes”, facing the future as she could only dimly perceive it that day and trusting God who has called her. In future years, she will continue to say, “Yes”; mothering her family, serving her community, and finally following her son to his death in Jerusalem. She cannot see that day now; she cannot know the extent to which her heart will be riven and wracked, only to be flooded with joy and hope at the resurrection. But she steps into obedience, and into believing that the God who called, will also provide what she will need for each and every circumstance arising out of that obedience.

Will I say ,”yes”, to the next step in my path of obedience? I may not be called to anything very dramatic or public, but just like Mary, and every other follower of Jesus, I am called to step into God’s plans, by faith and in trust. I cannot know the consequences of my obedience, nor the trials that may lie ahead of me, but I can follow Mary’s example of acceptance and perseverance.

Heavenly Father, Mary shows me what it means to trust and obey; to be aware of my limitations and weakness and yet set those aside because it is you who calls me, and with you, nothing is impossible. 

Let me then, like Mary, accept your directing and leading, and trust you with the consequences of my obedience. Keep me from fear of the unknown, fear of future trials, fear of my own inadequacy. I would choose not to be afraid, but to say, “yes, Lord, I will as you will; I follow where you lead; I receive from you what I need and look to you to do the impossible, even through me.”

For the glory, and in the name, of my precious Jesus, I pray, Amen.