Category Archives: frailty

Discipline – the blessings of duty

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“Do the next thing”… Many a questioning, many a fear, many a doubt hath its quieting here. Moment by moment, let down from heaven, time opportunity, guidance are given. Fear not tomorrows, child of the King, trust them with Jesus, “Do the next thing.”

Do it immediately; do it with prayer; do it reliantly, casting all care; do it with reverence, tracing his hand who placed it before thee with earnest command. Stayed on Omnipotence, safe’neath his wing, leave all resultings, “Do the next thing.”

(author unknown)

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life.. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your ids and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse…

(Phil 4.6-8; the Message)

Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen colour and design quite like it?.. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers – most of which are never even seen – don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving…. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out.

(Matt 5.28-33; the Message)

What do you do when the background noise of your mind becomes overwhelmingly negative? Where do you go with the distressing feelings, and the sense of failing God that accompanies awareness of our sin and weakness? Well, perhaps the apostle Paul would class such things under the heading of ‘worries’, and thus we can look to his advice to shape those worries into prayer, to take the reality of our feelings and bring them into the presence of our loving Father for his comfort and reassurance.

If, like me, you find those ‘worries’ remarkably persistent in spite of prayer, it is good to cultivate the discipline of reminding ourselves that our feelings do not control us. They are strong, sometimes to an overwhelming degree. BUT, God tells us that they are lying if they deny our salvation; if they suggest that somehow Jesus’ sacrifice is not enough for one as hopeless as ourselves. The Cross is truly sufficient for every sinner, even for the feeblest saint who spends rather too much of their time lying face down in the dust, wanting to just die and get it all over with because they are so ashamed and fed up of their own weakness.

Alongside that discipline – which can be extremely hard to practice – comes the blessing of routine chores and the duties which we owe to those around us. I call them blessings because it is as we continue to fulfil our responsibilities – choosing to be faithful, practical, thoughtful for the care of others – that God often brings us relief, not least by distracting us from our own unhappiness! Those duties and responsibilities are what the unknown author of the quoted verses is referring to as ‘the next thing’ – covering every possible task and requirement which we have to face each day. I am so grateful for a home to care for, a garden to tend (there are always a great many ‘next things’ to be done there!); an extended family with whom to communicate and to support; a christian family to join in worship and service; and the never ending task of intercession for a world whose essential beauty and goodness is marred so deeply by the consequences of human sin.

Almighty and Loving Father in heaven, how I thank you for the duties and opportunities of each new day, for the blessing of having many ‘next things’ to keep me from dwelling on my own unhelpful thoughts and feelings. Thank you that the ultimate reality of my place as your beloved child is not threatened by those feelings. Thank you that your Spirit is at work to make me ever more steady and secure in my identity as your precious new-made daughter. Thank you that the well of your grace never runs dry; and even the feeblest, slowest and most easily distracted of your children will one day come home to sweetest rest in glory with you. Help us not to give up, help us to keep on doing ‘the next thing’ until there truly is no more to be done and you call us to yourself. In Jesus’ name and for his glory we pray, Amen.

How to bridge the gap

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O Thou in whom all my fathers trusted and were not put to confusion, rid my heart now of all vain anxieties and paralysing fears. Give me a cheerful and buoyant spirit, and peace in doing Thy will; for Christ’s sake, Amen

(Jn Baillie, A Diary of Private Prayer, OUP 1936)

Good friend, don’t forget all I’ve taught you; take to heart my commands…. Don’t lose your grip on love and loyalty. tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart.. Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!

(Prov 3.1-7: the Message)

While Jews clamour for miraculous demonstrations and Greeks go in for philosophical wisdom, we go right on proclaiming Christ, the Crucified. Jews treat this like an anti-miracle – and Greeks pass it off as absurd. But to us who are personally called by God himself – both Jews and Greeks – Christ is God’s ultimate miracle and wisdom all wrapped up in one. Human wisdom is so tinny, so impotent, next to the seeming absurdity of God. Human strength can’t begin to compete with God’s weakness….. Everything we have – right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start – comes from God by way of Jesus Christ.

(1 Cor 1.22-30: the Message)

In the beginning, when God made humankind, the bible tells us that He was pleased with his handiwork. Adam and Eve were called to be stewards of creation, to act as God’s regents, reigning in their place as his people and exercising a benevolent and fruitful care for all that is made. We were made well, and although we rebelled and have rejected God’s authority over us, that truth remains. Humanity is called to be great, because we are made by a great God who has great purposes for us in His eternal story.

As a saved sinner, one who has accepted Jesus as Lord, I have to remember that I too am made well, made to serve my God and to flourish for Him in this world. While sin remains, and until the new creation is unveiled, I will struggle with my own weakness and the sin of others as these impact our world – but the truth remains, I am made well and in Jesus, I give glory to my maker.

To be wise – as the bible would define it – is to know how to live well in this world, with myself and those around me and ultimately with God. And that wisdom is fully and perfectly expressed in Jesus, who not only points the Way to God, but IS the Way; who not only shares and reveals truth about God, but IS Truth and truly God; who offers us life not by some rules and regulations, but in himself, who IS the Life everlasting, the life which belongs to God’s divine nature. To be wise then, is to have Jesus as Saviour and Lord, reigning in our lives and transforming us day by day into his wise-likeness.

As we accept that calling, to find life in Jesus, receiving him as God’s wisdom for our needs, we are equipped to live well in the world – peacefully, fruitfully, hopefully and attractively – shining the light of Christ for others to see and join us in God’s family. Jesus told his followers that as they held fast to him and practiced his teaching, they would know the truth and be set free from the power of sin to bind, distort, torment, and lay waste all their potential. They would know that great richness of life which comes from being in right relationship to God, with sin forgiven and a Spirit-led hunger to know and please our Maker.

This is where we find the bridge, the path from where we were in our sin, to where God has called and made us to be – fully alive, delighting in him, eager to share his love and to enjoy all his good gifts. This is the kind of life to which I aspire, and so I continue to pray for wisdom to grow in me, continue to strive to learn each day what it means to reject the bonds of sin, fear, and guilt.

Oh Father God, have mercy on your daughter in her awareness of failure, her disappointment with herself, and grief over failing you. Forgive and restore her to joy in salvation, in hope in your transforming power, and confidence in Jesus. Bridge that gap between her understanding of the truth, and her lived experience of it, so that her faith becomes buoyant, and she is set free from fear. In Jesus’ powerful name, Amen.

It’s not a performance, it’s a gift…

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Still the night, holy the night! Sleeps the world; hid from sight, Mary and Joseph in stable bare watch o’er the child beloved and fair, sleeping in heavenly rest…..

Still the night, holy the night! Shepherds first saw the light, heard resounding clear and long, far and near, the angel-song, ‘Christ the Redeemer is here!’….

Still the night, holy the night! Son of God, O how bright love is smiling from thy face! Strikes for us now the hour of grace, Saviour since thou art born!’

( Mohr, 1792-1848, translated by S.A. Brooke, 1832-1916)

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Rom 6.22-23)

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved… For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no-one can boast. 

(2Cor 2.4,5,8&9)

As a Jesus-believer, I look forward to celebrating his birth into our world, remembering with awe and thankfulness the magnitude of that step from unimagineable glory, to the tiny compass, and total helplessness of a human infant. I am grateful that our culture provides time to focus on the story, pondering what it meant, and means, for all humanity that God became one who lived and lives among us.

BUT…. I am aware that for many believers, there is an expectation, a pressure that every year they should achieve a state of heightened spiritual awareness, a transcendent calm and detachment from the busy-ness and daily uncertainties which comprise our lives. Perhaps some people do manage, every year, to reach this condition of super-spirituality, and to pass the season in serene contemplation and worship. Personally, I do not.. and I believe it can be a dangerous expectation to entertain, a foothold by which the enemy of our souls will undermine and condemn us as lacking true faith and spirituality, when we just plod on with the challenges of each day, not feeling very joyful, or serene.

Did God say that we must achieve this super-spiritual state every Christmas and Easter season? Does it say anywhere in our scriptures that we are to generate a particular group of feelings? No! The glorious and grounding reality is not in any way related to our feelings, but is based in facts, in truths which are as immutable as God himself, and as different from human fallibility and fickleness as can be imagined! If we let ourselves believe the lie that somehow every real Christian ‘gets’ Christmas in some transcendent ways, then we are letting ourselves in for serious trouble – as lies usually do. But it is not necessary to screw ourselves up to some heightened emotions in order to properly give thanks, to worship and sit for a little in awed silence before Mary’s infant son.

If our lives in any given advent season do lend themselves to giving extra time to meditating on the truth, soaking up the music and letting God speak to our hearts in an unhurried way, that’s marvellous! But it is also quite acceptable for believers to sincerely celebrate and worship without that luxury, to experience no particularly intense joys, and yet still be blessed and nourished as they share when they can in singing and retelling the story. We are not being judged on our ‘performance’ as believers in that sense, and our best response to the gift of God in Jesus is humble, quiet and relieved acceptance. We can add nothing to what he has done for us, and the grace poured out in Christ by God covers all our needs.

Father, loving and tender-hearted refuge of my aching soul, hear your daughter this night. She is weary, shot through with bitter griefs and the beauty of Christmas music brings floods of tears. She is not serene, or calm but often sad and uncertain. Thank you that her salvation is still secure because it is not dependent on her feeling the right sensations, or striving to enter a particular state of mental tranquility!

The hour of grace has struck for her, for all the weary ones for whom the season brings such mixed feelings of gladness and sadness, hope and grief. Grace is ours now because Christ is born, and there is our true peace, one which lies deep beneath the stormy waves and cannot be taken from us. Thank you..

We are family…

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While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

(Matt 12.46-50)

The elder [John], to the lady chosen by God and to her children, whom I love in the truth – and not I only, but also all who know the truth – because of the truth, which lives in us and will be with us forever. Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth and love. It has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as the Father commanded us. And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love, that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love…. the children of your sister, who is chosen by God, send their greetings.

(2 Jn 1-6&13)

As I reflect on the week which is passing, I am aware of three very different situations where I have been deeply blessed by and aware of my faith family. I have written before about the riches which we have as believers, belonging to the family of God, where all find love, acceptance and significance – and I rejoice today in these recent reminders of what I have been given – and can give – within that family.

I was in a sore state of mind, bewildered and troubled, and shared my need with trusted sisters. One spoke with me, others sent messages, songs and assurance of prayer.. and the storm passed, I was eased and comforted, and give thanks for these women, with whom I share so deeply and to such effect. Their wisdom, love and kindness is God’s care for me in troubled days – what a blessing!

I attended a local mission prayer meeting for the first time, and met a dear and venerable saint of 94 years, a frail widower, but inspiring in his faith and perseverance; in his desire to love the Lord and to witness to his community and pray for the growth of the kingdom worldwide. This man knew my parents and my home church, I attended university with his daughter, and our meeting brought a rich feast of memories, connections, reasons for rejoicing. I was full of thanksgiving for the privilege of being known by him, of mattering to him for the sake of my parents whom he loved. These fathers and mothers in our faith family, these darling elders who are already more than halfway to glory are such a blessing to us, like the heroes and heroines of faith named in the book of Hebrews. And his gentleness and love brought me almost to tears… what an example of how to grow old in Christ!

And last night, we were able for the first time to offer hospitality in our home to members of our new congregation.. people who six months ago were strangers are now friends, people who have a right to share our joys and sorrows, even as we know theirs… because we are family, we belong together. This is what it means to love, to belong to the house of God, being the children whom his Son saved and gladly owns as his brothers and sisters.

Today then, I give thanks for the heritage of faith – for family connections down the years through my parent’s faithfulness and hospitality in their church; for the riches of growing up in a praying, mission minded family of faith, surrounded by  parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, siblings, children and grandchildren of faith. I give thanks for the kids and young adults who once camped with us, and are now believing parents in turn sending their children to camp. I love and cherish these elders, contemporaries of my parents now modelling faithful ageing and trust in the Lord in face of death. What a shared wealth of memories of fellowship and teaching, what an incredible family we belong to! These bonds which transcend time create a family tie which nothing can break, and establish each and every believer in a world wide, generation-crossing love, a foretaste of glory and the life to come, when age and death will no longer divide us.

The joy of simple things

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Lord, you have been our dwelling-place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God…. For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning- though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered….

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom… Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days..

May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendour to their children. May the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands.

(Ps 90.1&2,4-6,12,14,16&17)

What sweet relief comes to a struggling believer when they are gently reminded of the absolute and unshakeable goodness of God; of his power and eternal being. While we may founder amid doubt, weariness and even despair both over our own condition and the grievous state of our world, yet when we turn to the Almighty, we find a mighty, unruffled serenity and a resolute peace. Here is no agonised doubting, no indecisiveness, no fickleness. Here is pure light, justice, fathomless grace and committed and faithful love. Here is a safe place – THE safe place- where we may cast ourselves down in utter trust and surrender, and know that all shall be well, because our God is on the throne and nothing can prevent the fulfilment of his purposes and the full realisation of his glorious plans.

In this place of total security, I sit with my grief and loss; I share with my Father the burdens of my heart and am  comforted to know that I am heard and tenderly enveloped in his love. In this place of safety, I share my small joys, and know that they are a gift of his love to me, and I give thanks  – I know that when I take pleasure in what He gives, then I am honouring His love for me. In this place, where his eternal nature is revealed and my own smallness made so clear, I rest in his adoption of me as his child, and surrender to that keeping.

As I recognise that I am grieving, with all the weariness and confusion which that brings, I am glad to find peace and pleasure in small tasks – the baking of bread; the sharing of hospitality; and today, the preparation of some pots of colour to grace our garden as the autumn approaches. To handle soil, to gently embed the tiny plants, to let my eye feast on the variety of textures and colours, to anticipate in my imagination how they will flourish – these are gifts which soothe my spirit and I give thanks tonight for the opportunity and means to enjoy them. To be in the open air, with the sunshine on my back and the sound of the birds having a lively discussion in the neighbour’s thickets – these are gifts which refresh me and I give thanks tonight for my senses by which to appreciate them.

The Lord IS my dwelling place, and there I find both nurture and peace, and therefore I praise and let another day pass..

O Lord, I am as nothing in the face of your eternal glory and light, a passing shadow and a fleeting thought. Yet you have declared yourself to be my God, my Maker, my Sovereign. It is your naming which gives me value, and your promise which gives me hope. So few days are given to me, Lord let me be wise to use them well in your service; let your love be the foundation of my hope, my source of joy and pride and my satisfaction.

Have compassion on your servant, that she may see your hand at work and rejoice; let your glory be her motivation in living. By your grace and power, let her labours be fruitful in your kingdom, the only place where lasting value can be found. And Lord, let her children receive and walk in your covenant love; let them grow in faith and joy to glorify and serve you; may they see your works and worship you, together with all your saints. In Jesus’ precious name and for your glory, Amen.

The gap….

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When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterwards you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.. But as for me, it is good to be near God.

(Ps 73.21-28)

There is a gulf between the truth that I know, and my daily experience of living. There is a gap between what the bible teaches is true about me as a beloved child of God, with every reason to rejoice daily and to live in confident freedom; and the actual lived failure to find hope, to experience joy, to break out of a pessimistic and apathetic attitude to life. I can completely identify with the psalmist, describing a grieving and bitter heart…

I feel shame that the truth cannot banish the feelings, cannot move my perception of reality from my mind to my heart and emotions. I feel shame that I can’t seem to live in joy and peace and freedom, but am as one removed, behind a shield which hems me in with weariness and hopelessness, so that I long to be away from this body of death and sphere of failure. How can I as a believer even think this way? The truth exists to set me free, so how can I be in such bondage? There is a struggle, a desperate fight to regain courage, to find hope, to connect again with joy. And I am so tired of fighting every day…

Is it a passing phase? I hope so, but nonetheless intense and real while it lasts, so how do I deal with it as a believer? What is my witness while I endure? I cannot lie, I must speak truth and this is the reality today – the gap between what my faith tells me is true, and how I feel seems so deep and so wide, I cannot cross it.

I have been here before, and hold on to the assurance that it has passed and will pass again. But meantime, I am struggling each day to find motivation, to want to serve, to want to do anything at all – the weariness is real. I know I should preach truth to myself, should exhort and encourage but it feels pointless, as though I am cut off from God’s power. His strength does not fail, nor does his loving kindness. And yet.. my heart is failing, my spirit is so weary of trying and so ashamed of failing again, and again, and again..

Grant me grace, God grant me grace, for in you I have taken shelter, and in your wing’s shadow do I shelter until disasters pass.

I call out to God the most high, to [him] who requites me. He will send from the heavens and rescue me.. God will send his steadfast kindness…

My heart is firm, O God, my heart is firm. Let me sing and hymn. Awake, O lyre, awake, O lute and lyre. I would awaken the dawn. Let me acclaim you among the peoples, Master. Let me hymn you among the nations.

For your kindness is great to the heavens, and to the skies your steadfast truth.

(Ps 57, R Alter translation)

Father, consider your daughter today in her distress, shame and weariness. Have mercy on her, and come in tender reassurance. You know her heart is troubled by this season of apathy and weariness; troubled by the lack of joy and motivation; so deeply disappointed in her failures. 

Send from your throne my Father, send your Spirit in power to set me free to walk in peace again, to know joy and an appetite for living in spite of all my failures and shortcomings. O Father, help me to believe in grace and forgiveness in such a way that they make a difference to my life and I can live confident in you, witnessing to your goodness, love and transforming power.

In the name of my beloved Lord Jesus, who died so that I might be set free from bondage, might live to know and love and be loved, Amen.

Outlook.. changeable!

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He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children – with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. Praise the Lord, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts, you servants who do his will. Praise the Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the Lord, O my soul.

(Ps 103. 10-22)

There is a child in my heart; a child who fears to grieve those she loves, who is deeply ashamed to cause trouble or hurt, who longs to see those around her happy and untroubled. The child often apologises for things that may not be her fault, in an attempt to smooth over discomfort. The child is terrified to express desires, or make choices which may cause discomfort or inconvenience to others. The child is often tired of her failings, and of not managing to grow out of them. The child struggles to see any difference between her failings, and herself – often wishing that she herself were out of the way, so that the lives of those she loves could run without the continual irritant of her faults. The child sees little value in her own contribution to life, except as far as she can please others and make their lives better.

The adult in my heart knows that she is made by God for a purpose; made to know and be known by him; made to serve and delight in him; made to delight in the world, in other people, and all the good gifts which he gives day by day. The adult knows that she is loved, saved, guarded by eternal arms and assured of an inheritance in the world to come. The adult knows that she is forgiven, and forgiven again; and that the love that matters will never fail her and knows her heart’s desire is to be made pure.

The voices of the child and the adult are vying for my attention; first one, and then the other speaks loudest, and as a result I am in a pitiable state of turmoil, at the mercy of some deep, destabilising emotions. The outlook changes not only from day-to-day, but almost minute to minute, and it is very tiring. In such a condition, I do my utmost to cling to the rock which is my Saviour’s love and saving power; his settled disposition for my eternal good. I seek the discipline to recall and meditate on God’s promises to me, promises to forgive, and to transform. I seek ways to lift my head up out of my own mess to look at the great big story of His-story – of God making His kingdom come, and His will be done. In that gloriously wide perspective there lies the possibility of renewed confidence, of peace and the conviction that the battle is won, and I walk under the victor’s flag. The struggles which beset me are put into their place and revealed as skirmishes with the enemy of God’s children, who is using my weakness to draw me away from my Saviour, and bind me in a dungeon of self-pity and despair.

I WILL NOT be bound; I WILL claim the victory which Christ has won over all the powers of evil in this world. And this I do because by the Spirit, God will do it for me! He does not change, when I do. He does not weaken or get distracted. Let my soul praise the Lord!

Heavenly Father, Almighty and Everlasting, whose faithful love never fails, and whose purposes are sure of being fulfilled, I praise and thank you for your steadfastness. You know that I am struggling in these days, fighting a wall of noise which accuses me of failure, stirring up every old shameful act, and every memory of a good deed not done. Have mercy on me, you know that I am but dust. In your fathomless compassion, restore in me by your Spirit, the faith, hope and upwelling gratitude which should be the heartbeat and rhythm of my life as your child. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

Can these dry bones live?

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The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones… bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”

Then he said to me, “Prophecy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you and you will come to life….. Then you will know that I am the Lord… I will put my Spirit in you and you will live…”

(Ezek 37.1-6&14)

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened… If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

(Lk 11.9,10&13)

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died…. that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again… All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and … he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

(2 Cor 5.14&15, 18-20)

Do you, like me, respond to this command by Jesus to ask, seek and knock by saying… ‘yes Lord, but what about……?’. Perhaps it is just me, with my tendency to see the negative instead of the positive, to focus on the ways that I am not seeing the answers that I want instead of discerning what God is doing.

I am enthralled by the vision of the dry bones coming to life as the word of the Lord is preached to them, and the breath of God, his very Spirit, brings them back from death. I believe that this is a picture of what God does every time a person accepts Christ as their Saviour – they pass from the dry, dusty death which is exile from God and slavery to the ruling powers of this world, into the vivid, spirit-filled and joyous life which is knowing the love of God and fulfilling our place in his plan. The power of the vision is compelling, and motivating – as Paul testifies in his entreaty to the Corinthians not to reject the hope of life which is offered in Christ.

BUT, how many of us have been privileged to witness such transformation? How many of us have prayed for it to happen in the lives of family, friends, work colleagues, members of our community… and seen no change at all? Is this because God’s power is somehow limited? Is it lack of faith on our part, do we fail in perseverance? Surely God is not like some automated vending machine where sufficient input of determined prayer will guarantee the results! But where then does Jesus’ exhortation to persevere in prayer take me?

I have no easy answers to this question, and in honesty I have to confess that at the moment, I am almost apathetic about prayer – the kind of prayer that believes in and hopes for great things to be done; the prayer that keeps on asking, seeking, knocking; the prayer that wrestles with God and will not let go. How can I find the courage and faith to pray like that when I see so many reasons to be hopeless, to lower my expectations as much as possible, to accept the power of sin over so many lives and stop fighting against it?

And so it seems that the dry bones are my own… it is my spirit which is dust-dry and lifeless; my faith which is bowed down into the ground, blind and deaf to God’s work and word. And so I must start with my own heart as I come to God in prayer – prayer as an act of will, a discipline in the teeth of discouragement and weariness, a cry from the heart for renewal and a work of the Spirit in my life so that I may not fail my Saviour. Only God can do this, do I have the strength and faith to keep asking for it?

Lord, have mercy on your child; restore her courage to believe, and strength to live in that faith. May her stumbling efforts at obedience, her dogged attempts to listen and to pray, all these poor rags of discipleship, be objects of your love and compassion. You know how to give good gifts to your children, and you alone know how needy I am. Make these dry bones live, that I might serve you in this place and time, for your glory and in the name of Jesus my Lord, Amen.

On being a faithful workman..

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.. Ezra came up from Babylon. He was a teacher well versed in the Law of Moses.. [Ezra] had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the Lord, and to teaching its decrees and laws in Israel.

(Ez 7.6&10)

Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarrelling about words; it is of no value and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.. don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.

In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage – with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

(2 Tim 2.11-15,23-26: 4.1-5)

A few days before this piece is published, my husband will have formally taken up his new post as minister for a congregation within the Church of Scotland. The occasion will have included an avowal of a personal desire to glorify and serve Jesus Christ as the primary motivation for his willingness to undertake the task.  In a way, it is the same kind of message which Paul is giving to Timothy in this letter – to a young pastor who is facing the (humanly speaking) terrifying task of leading a church, many of whose members will be older and therefore consider themselves to have more authority and wisdom than he does!!

The calling to serve by entering into Christian ministry, the work of preaching, caring, leading and – where necessary – exercising some discipline – should never be embraced without a great deal of careful thought, prayer and humble, honest soul-searching. It is not a position to be sought for anything other than the conviction that as a believer, one can do nothing else – a strong constraint and sense of identification with the work. If you read carefully through Paul’s charge to Timothy, it is clear that there will be no end to the labour, and that it will be a constant challenge to his temper, his energy, his wisdom, and above all his reliance on God to work through his own personal weaknesses and flaws. Because the best human leaders of God’s people are those who are most acutely aware of their own temptations; who refuse to ‘go it alone’ in the job but make themselves accountable to others; who can apologise where needed, and who will never forget that the work is God’s work, not dependent on their own human wisdom, ingenuity or energetic and constant activity.

As I prepare to support and work alongside my husband in our new place of ministry, may I encourage you to pray for us and for your own leaders, in light of the particular responsibilities and challenges which God has called them to accept?

Almighty God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ in whose name we pray today, be glorified in the lives and ministries of your servants in the gospel, those called to public ministry and leadership of your people. May each one be like Ezra – knowing your word, living your word and teaching your word faithfully in every situation.

Heavenly Father, these servants are known and loved by you; each one delights you as they serve to the best of their ability, but each is also burdened by a sense of their own limitations, flaws and persistent sins. May they know the joy of being forgiven; may they walk gladly in the light of your love and acceptance of them; may they never forget that your approval matters more than anything else, and their worth doesn’t depend on what happens – for good or ill – in their ministries.

When their energies are lowest; when the human frustrations are deepest; when there seems no hope for change, no fruit for their labours… then, O Lord, have mercy on your servants and visit them with your tender mercies of refreshment and renewal by your Spirit. When there are signs of life, lives being transformed, a liveliness and energy of your power at work… then, O Lord, have mercy on your servants and remind them that this is your work, not theirs and protect them from pride, self-sufficiency and boastfulness.

We commend your servants to you today O Lord, may we love and support them faithfully; may we be honest if we are concerned about them and willing to forgive them, as we ourselves seek to be forgiven. Build your church Lord, for your glory and our blessing we pray, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Tongue-tied.. but why?

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Jesus [said], “I am the way, the truth and the life. No-one comes to the Father except through me.”

(Jn 14.6)

“Salvation is found in no-one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved”

(Acts 4.12)

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things – and the things that are not – to nullify the things that are, so that no-one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God – that is our righteousness, holiness and redemption Therefore, as it is written :”Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

When I came to you, brothers and sisters, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.

(1Cor 1.26-2.5)

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..

(1Pet 3.15)

What is it that keeps me silent when I could speak? Why do I revert to vague generalisations about church, when I have opportunity to speak of Jesus? These questions have been troubling me recently, as I was in that very situation and utterly failed to make proper use of it. I am ashamed and deeply unsettled to realise that I find it so much easier to talk about ‘my faith’, than about the person in whom I have faith.

It has been said that Christianity is not so much a religion, as a relationship, and if that is the case, then I am sadly disengaged from the other party to the relationship! Would a loving wife, when asked about her life, refer continually to her marriage as the best thing in it? Surely she would rather talk about her husband!! In the same way, I realise that my love for Jesus falls short, and is not at the forefront of my thinking. The reality of my salvation, of my eternal hope and the daily help and transforming power of the spirit are what come to mind first, not the person through whom alone I have received them.

This means that my witness, when I have opportunity to speak, is not first of Jesus, but only of how good it is to have faith.. this may have a place, but surely it is not what Paul meant when he shared with the Corinthians, preaching not human wisdom (and much human wisdom relates to the need for faith of some kind!), but the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I do not aspire to be another apostle, but I am aware that the name of Jesus could be on my lips so much more often than it is. I could boast in my Lord so much more than I do, and with gentleness, I could proclaim his unique glory as my saviour and the coming king.

It is pointless to speculate on the whys and wherefores of my reticence, and I don’t want to waste time there, but rather to bring this peculiar reluctance to the Lord himself and ask forgiveness and transformation..

Almighty God, and loving Father, I confess today my lack of love and loyalty to my Lord and Saviour, your son Jesus Christ. I confess that my mind and heart are distracted and often struggle to see him clearly – retreating so readily to consider myself and the blessings I receive from him, instead of recognising and delighting in him as Lord.

I desire to honour you, Father, Son and Spirit; to confess Jesus as my Lord in word and deed, and to proclaim the good news of his salvation to all. I pray you will direct my thoughts, stir up my love, lead my reading and understanding so that the glory, sufficiency, power and unique majesty of Christ might be ever more present in my mind.

Release my tongue to speak of Jesus, in season and out of season; to gently and persistently draw attention to him, and to boast only and always of him. Ignite a fire within my heart, so that all my head knowledge burns with a living flame of love and becomes a place where others may see the light of Christ and meet his love. Let me learn to tell his story and give him glory, in his precious name I pray, Amen.