You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
(Ps 139.1-6)
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones…
(Isa 49.13)
I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me – just as the Father knows me and I know the Father..
(Jn 10.14&15)
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Phil 3.4-7)
Have you ever been totally disconcerted by your own reactions and feelings, finding that what is expected of you, by other people and by yourself, is totally different from the reality? Human beings are so much more complicated than we realise, and it is one of the most comforting things about being a beloved child of God, that our Father knows us better than we do, and He accepts us in all our confusion.
In the past few months, I have moved away from a community, a life, an environment, which I loved. I am living now in a season of uncertainty, with no clarity about the long-term future and hence no capacity to either commit to the place we now live, or to make plans. I have also just become a grand-parent for the first time..
And I am bombarded by messages of congratulation, the expectations that I will be ‘over the moon’ and ‘walking on air’. Nope… There has been overwhelming relief, that all is well and the baby and his parents are beginning to know one another. Thankfulness, for all who are helping to support the new parents in various ways; sadness that we live too far away to be useful in this challenging time; anxiety for the parents as they fight exhaustion, and cope with the unknowns of a new baby. In addition, there is grief over my recent losses, anxiety for our own uncertain future and its consequences for life now, and guilt, since I am not reacting the way others expect and my emotions are continually tripping me up. It’s all very messy!
What a relief then that I am in the safe-keeping of a tender loving Father, who knows me through and through! I am not judged by my Father for my mixed-up emotions, and he invites me to shift their burden onto his shoulders, so that I may rest in his love and strength. All the feelings are valid responses to real events in my life, and each one prompts me to bring my situation to my Father in prayer, to tell him all that I feel and confess where I am fearful and anxious instead of trusting. He accepts me, with all this baggage, and holds me fast, inviting me to embrace the truth of his love and purposes of good for me.
How marvellous to have such a Father, such a companion through life! One who never loses patience with me, or is in a bad mood and unable to make time for me; one who is always loving, gentle, compassionate and firm when I need to be challenged and have my thinking straightened out by his truth. I worship this God, the Creator who knows all and still loves me, I praise and thank him for the safest of safe places where I am held tight in his arms and kept.
Loving Father, I rest in your love for me and in the assurance that you know me through and through. I praise you that I can come as I am, at any time, and unburden myself to you. I praise you that in Christ I am accepted and beloved, and your plans for me are to be trusted.
As I rest in your love today, I pray that I might be renewed in trust and become steadier to face my circumstances and love those to whom you have called me. Let me hand over my burdens, that I may be free to have compassion on others and to have wisdom in loving them in turn. Thank you for all those who have modelled your love in accepting me with all my confusion. May I in turn love as you have loved me, not judging others in their particular and unique needs, but bringing them to your light and truth and ever-open arms.
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