Author Archives: eps992014

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About eps992014

a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a mother, wife, sometime runner, singer, gardener, and proud Scot

Slow to learn….

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Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.

For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. 

Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care.

Today, if only you would hear his voice, “Do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah, as you did that day at Massah in the wilderness, where your ancestors tested me; they tried me, though they had seen what I did.”

(Ps 95.1-9)

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear… Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?… pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

(Matt 6.25-27,32-34)

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.

(Phil 2.14-16)

Next year’s flowers are already in the making – under the ground, bulbs are putting forth roots and preparing for the right time to send up shoots. Snowdrops, aconites and the early daffodils will come first, bringing hope as they always do, in the midst of cold, dark days. The buds of next spring’s viburnum, rhododendron and azalea are forming on the branches even now – fulfilment of their maker’s plan for them is as sure as the changing of the seasons, they do not suffer doubt when the darkness comes. Indeed, the cold, short days are necessary to prompt the growth! Sadly, I am not so faithful to my maker’s plans and purposes for me, and the darkness and cold of uncertainty, grief and change often spark withdrawal, self-pity and a grumbling resentment.

Have I not learnt anything from all the faithfulness which God has shown to me and to his church? Have I not learnt from the lessons of the saints through the ages, and of those still living around me who testify to the love, power and help of their heavenly Father? Have I learnt nothing from the example of Jesus himself, who in the deepest and darkest time committed himself in faith to the Father, embracing the divine will and surrendering himself to it. After that agonised hour in the garden, Jesus never turned back, never resisted, never bemoaned his lot, but did what was necessary with an obedient and resolute heart.

It would appear that I am a very poor learner… my endurance is not with hope but with grumbling resignation; I am quick to tell my troubles instead of being quick to listen to others and taking my own burdens to God. Instead of responding with earnest and urgent petitions, I am grudging and slow to ask, unwilling to raise my expectations by praying.. God’s promises become a mockery in my ears, because they are not being fulfilled in the ways that I want..

Loving Heavenly Father, I confess today that I am not patient in my waiting, not cheerful in uncertainty, and that I am quick to resent the ways that you choose to deal with me. I confess this sin of presumption, and recognise the folly and arrogance which lies behind it – the desire to be in control.

Deliver me from this mean and petty spirit, from fretting and self-pity. Renew my hope, so that my heart is not sickened as I wait for you. Renew my faith, so that I am not tempted to make excuses or explain away the things that you choose to permit. Help me to believe in each new situation that you are at work, even though I cannot know your plans. You will fulfil your promises in new ways, because your faithfulness is unchanging. Let me be like Jesus, who embraced your will for him, and walked steadily into the darkness and the unknown. Let me honour you and choose to trust.

So much more than the bare necessities..

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The Lord said to Moses, “I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them, ‘At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be filled with bread. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God…. “

(Ex 17.11&12)

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul….. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

(Ps 23.1-3,5-6)

The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”

(Matt 5.3&4)

Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty….No-one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father. I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life. I am the bread of life. Your forefathers ate the manna in the desert, yet they died. But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which a man may eat and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live for ever.”

(Jn 6.35,46-51)

I have never known the terror of starvation, of not knowing where my children and livestock can get food, of fearing the worst. I have lived in a time and a land of plenty, and have enjoyed the luxury of choice in ways that many people in the world today cannot imagine. I am not proud of that, but deeply aware that it is a privilege, and one which means that I should be slow to judge the people of Israel when, in the desert, they panicked and mobbed Moses, furious with fear for their children and livestock, and well aware of danger. Not once, but several times, the Lord intervened to provide what was needed, and exhorted the people to trust him for each fresh need as it arose, so that instead of panic, they would pray and ask in faith. They were being invited to believe in God’s goodness and readiness to deliver them, to acknowledge their own helplessness.

This image of God providing food for their bodies is also meant to make us think on a deeper level, as we find through the rest of scripture.  God’s word, his life-giving communication with us, his character and glory are shown as the food that we need for a fully human life, a life where we thrive in the relationship for which we are designed – God’s beloved children. We are invited to think of feasting on these things, of feeding our minds and being sustained by them. In our helplessness, He has provided abundantly and effectively for our need – through the life-giving, atoning sacrifice of Jesus, we receive forgiveness, transformation and enter into a new existence.

We eat in order to stay alive – and for this, a very basic diet will suffice. We eat in order to remain healthy and strong for life’s activities – and for this, some variety is necessary. We eat for pleasure, rejoicing in the flavours, textures, colours and satisfaction of enjoying food, one of God’s good gifts to us and designed to bring us joy and move us to thankfulness.

When I think of God’s provision for us, I like to think of these three different things. We need Christ in order to live… without him, we die in our sin and never know the life for which God has intended us. We need Christ in order to thrive as healthy children of God – growing in our strength and wisdom, thriving as we grasp more and more of the breadth and depth of what Jesus has done for us, and of who he is. We feast on Christ, rejoicing more and more as we learn how abundantly, gloriously he meets all our needs, and how beautiful and worthy of our adoration he is in himself, as the Lord of Lords and King of Kings.

Heavenly Father, even as I thank you each day for the physical food which nourishes my body, let me grow in gratitude for the food which you supply so abundantly for my life as your child.

I belong in your kingdom, your life is in me because I am your child, and that life is sustained, strengthened and enriched as I take time to think about you, as Jesus has revealed you to us and as we meet you in the bible.

Thank you for the more than adequate nourishment you give us, for the banquet which is ours to enjoy, and which will only be surpassed when we enter into the new creation, in our transformed bodies, and join with all your children at the wedding feast of Christ with his bride. Let me glorify you and enjoy all you give me today, and trust in your faithful provision for my future, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

It can be complicated..

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You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

(Ps 139.1-6)

Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones… 

(Isa 49.13)

I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me – just as the Father knows me and I know the Father..

(Jn 10.14&15)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Phil 3.4-7)

Have you ever been totally disconcerted by your own reactions and feelings, finding that what is expected of you, by other people and by yourself, is totally different from the reality? Human beings are so much more complicated than we realise, and it is one of the most comforting things about being a beloved child of God, that our Father knows us better than we do, and He accepts us in all our confusion.

In the past few months, I have moved away from a community, a life, an environment, which I loved. I am living now in a season of uncertainty, with no clarity about the long-term future and hence no capacity to either commit to the place we now live, or to make plans. I have also just become a grand-parent for the first time..

And I am bombarded by messages of congratulation, the expectations that I will be ‘over the moon’ and ‘walking on air’. Nope… There has been overwhelming relief, that all is well and the baby and his parents are beginning to know one another. Thankfulness, for all who are helping to support the new parents in various ways; sadness that we live too far away to be useful in this challenging time; anxiety for the parents as they fight exhaustion, and cope with the unknowns of a new baby. In addition, there is grief over my recent losses, anxiety for our own uncertain future and its consequences for life now, and guilt, since I am not reacting the way others expect and my emotions are continually tripping me up. It’s all very messy!

What a relief then that I am in the safe-keeping of a tender loving Father, who knows me through and through! I am not judged by my Father for my mixed-up emotions, and he invites me to shift their burden onto his shoulders, so that I may rest in his love and strength. All the feelings are valid responses to real events in my life, and each one prompts me to bring my situation to my Father in prayer, to tell him all that I feel and confess where I am fearful and anxious instead of trusting. He accepts me, with all this baggage, and holds me fast, inviting me to embrace the truth of his love and purposes of good for me.

How marvellous to have such a Father, such a companion through life! One who never loses patience with me, or is in a bad mood and unable to make time for me; one who is always loving, gentle, compassionate and firm when I need to be challenged and have my thinking straightened out by his truth. I worship this God, the Creator who knows all and still loves me, I praise and thank him for the safest of safe places where I am held tight in his arms and kept.

Loving Father, I rest in your love for me and in the assurance that you know me through and through. I praise you that I can come as I am, at any time, and unburden myself to you. I praise you that in Christ I am accepted and beloved, and your plans for me are to be trusted. 

As I rest in your love today, I pray that I might be renewed in trust and become steadier to face my circumstances and love those to whom you have called me. Let me hand over my burdens, that I may be free to have compassion on others and to have wisdom in loving them in turn. Thank you for all those who have modelled your love in accepting me with all my confusion. May I in turn love as you have loved me, not judging others in their particular and unique needs, but bringing them to your light and truth and ever-open arms.

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A patchwork of praise and petition..

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To the lead player, a David psalm.

In You, O Lord, I shelter. Let me never be shamed. In Your bounty, O free me. Incline Your ear to me. Quick, save me.

Be my stronghold of rock, a fort-house to rescue me. For You are my crag and my bastion, and for Your name’s sake guide me and lead me. Get me out of the net that they laid for me, for You are my stronghold.

In Your hand I commend my spirit. You redeemed me, O Lord, God of truth. I hate those who look to vaporous lies. As for me, I trust in the Lord. Let me exult and rejoice in Your kindness, that You saw my affliction, You knew the straits of my life. And You did not yield me to my enemy’s hand, You set my feet in a wide-open place.

Grant me grace, Lord, for I am distressed….. For all my enemies I become a disgrace, just as much to my neighbours, and fear to my friends. Those who see me outside draw back from me. Forgotten from the heart like the dead, I become like a vessel lost…

As for me, I trust in You, O Lord. I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand – O save me from the hand of my enemies, my pursuers. Shine Your face on Your servant, rescue me in Your kindness. Lord, let me not be shamed, for I call You….

How great Your goodness that You hid for those who fear You. You have wrought for those who shelter in You before the eyes of humankind. Conceal them in the hiding-place of Your presence from the crookedness of man……

Love the Lord, all his faithful, steadfastness the Lord keeps … Be strong, and let your heart be firm, all who hope in the Lord.

(Psalm 31.1-12,15-18,20&21,24&25: R. Alter translation*)

A few years ago, I received a new translation of the book of Psalms, by a notable Hebrew scholar, annotated with his own observations on the texts and their meaning. I have dipped into it occasionally since then, and often find that the sparse and fresh expression of texts which in older translations are very familiar, is refreshing and enriching. This particular psalm is introduced with the observation that many of the phrases and images are echoes of other psalms and parts of the bible – the books of Job and Jeremiah. I loved the idea that the author, whoever they were, did not hesitate to take words and ideas from all over their scriptures in order to praise God and to express their prayers.

Jesus makes a very explicit point in teaching his disciples, that prayer is not about the cleverness of one’s words, or the length of one’s sentences, but about honesty and straight-dealing with our God, from whom nothing is hidden. And I think that we should never be ashamed when we find ourselves using the words of others to praise or bring our petitions to God – when someone has found ways to express what we think and feel in powerful ways, we naturally find ourselves using their images and words ourselves!

The danger in using other people’s words comes when we do so unthinking, relying on their clever or powerful language to make our case, instead of truly meaning what we say. I know that some particularly well-beloved hymns are very difficult to sing meaningfully because I know them off by heart and can repeat the words parrot-fashion… that is not worship, or prayer.

In this case, we find the psalmist gathering images which speak powerfully of God’s care, of strength and refuge, of deliverance and reasons to hope – ultimately, hoping in God’s desire that all be done to honour his name and glory… so that His name will be hallowed and exalted as his power, love and justice are witnessed at work on behalf of his people. There is urgency, and passion, and also a deep understanding of God’s faithfulness to those who trust in him alone. As I read these words in a fresh translation, I am stimulated to think about where my trust is, and to make this psalm a true prayer of my own.

Let us rejoice that we have so many sources from which to draw as we come to God in prayer and praise – all the riches of the Hebrew scriptures; all the dynamic and beautiful texts of the gospels and letters; the incredible treasury of texts written by saints through the ages of the church and the hymns and songs which God’s people use in worship. May God keep us sincere and truthful in our prayer and praising, no matter where our words come from, fiull of thankfulness for his goodness to us in every way.

(The Book of Psalms – a translation with commentary: Robert Alter, 2007, WW Norton &Co Ltd London)

It’s not rules, it’s a relationship

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Lead me in your truth and instruct me, for you are the God of my rescue. In you do I hope every day…. whosoever the man who fears the Lord, he will guide him in the way he should choose..

Guard my life and save me. Let me not be shamed, for I shelter in you. May uprightness, wholeness, preserve me, for in you do I hope.

(Ps 25.5,12,20&21; R Alter translation)

O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress… The Lord is exalted, for he dwells on high; he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness. He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.

(Isa 33.2,5&6)

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No-one comes to the Father except through me.”

(Jn 14.6)

I want them to experience all the wealth of definite understanding, and to come to the knowledge of God’s mystery – the Messiah, the king! He is the place where you’ll find all the hidden treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I’m saying this so that nobody will deceive you with plausible words… So, then, just as you received King Jesus as Lord, you must continue your journey in him. You must put down healthy roots in him, being built up brick by brick in him, and established strongly in the faith, just as you were taught, with overflowing thankfulness.

(Col 2.2-7, NT Wright translation)

I can’t unsee him; the king who loved me enough to die for me; the Lord of heaven’s armies who came into this pain-wracked, beautiful world as a human infant; the one and only way by which all the evil, broken, painful things are to be set right and God’s glorious kingdom established in the world which he made for us to enjoy with him.

Many things cloud my vision; so many questions and puzzles which I cannot unravel, and which are beyond human skill to unpick. And yet, in spite of these – to some people – reasons to reject Jesus and all the supposed ‘revelation’ of God, I cannot unsee him. Jesus is not some clever add-on to my armoury of ways to cope with life. Jesus is not some super spiritual experience which somehow enhances my days. Jesus is not an extra, or an optional accessory. Jesus is simply the only person who actually begins to make sense of everything, as I finally see how everything revolves around him. Knowing Jesus doesn’t take away pain, grief, confusion or loss. Knowing Jesus doesn’t mean that I can answer the deep questions about evil and suffering easily. BUT, knowing Jesus means that I have an anchor, a person whose love for me is sure and whose power to keep me for an eternal future is guaranteed.

It’s not a question of obeying rules, in order to earn favour with some capricious deity; it’s a matter of having my eyes opened to eternal realities and having seen Jesus there, being unable to look away and pretend that he doesn’t exist. He is; He was; and He will always be.. what am I doing in response to the truth of his lordship, his power, his coming kingdom? If I reject what I have seen and choose to stay away from Jesus, then I reject ultimate reality and one day will be proved to have made a catastrophic error. But I thank God that I can and do acknowledge Jesus as Lord, as the beginning and end of everything, and not only so but I can know and be known by him. It is a marvel beyond telling, that we should be invited into a loving relationship with Truth and Life, with Love and Power, yet we are, and his name is Jesus.

As I grow through life, I find Paul’s advice to be true – in every stage of my journey, what I need is more of Jesus – he must become greater in me, more glorious in my understanding, more important in my thinking, more effectively the motivation and foundation of all I do.

Christianity, says the old slogan, is Christ. Put him in the middle of your picture of the world, and the world will stop spinning in incomprehensible circles and begin to make sense…. He is, quite simply, what it’s all about.

(NT Wright: p 162, Paul for Everyone; the Prison letters: 2002, SPCK)

Travelling light?

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Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my saviour. The sovereign Lord is my strength..

(Hab 3.17-19)

Then Jesus came to them and said;”… And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

(Matt 28.18&20)

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings…. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me… But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus… 

Rejoice in the Lord always.. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus…. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, … I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

(Phil 3.10,12-14; 4.4-7, 12&13)

How good it is, as a child of God, to know that when He says, “Go, let this place and these people become your past”, that I can trust him for the unknown future. I am so thankful for the people and experiences which have made up my life, but also aware that they are fleeting things, and cannot be carried with me into the next chapter.

I have memories, and a few physical reminders, but am aware of the gift of God in allowing me to let the past go, and not to cart its baggage into tomorrow. I can rest in the relinquishment because it is my loving Father who asks it of me, and he holds so many good things for me to enjoy and thank him for in the future. Ultimately, I have nothing to take with me in the face of advancing years and death, but the assurance that I belong to Jesus and he will keep me safe through all that is permitted. No treasured memories, no relationships, no material belongings, nothing at all can carry me through what lies ahead except Jesus.

When the past threatens to ambush my present, bringing bitterness, regret, an overwhelming sense of loss, I have a choice to make. Will I allow myself to be disabled by the tide, swept into a storm of grief and complaint against God? Or will I choose to pray… to rejoice that I have known so many good gifts from God; that I can trust his wisdom in giving and withdrawing those gifts; that through the experience of his gifts, I have learnt more about God and his faithfulness and love for me?

Paul had learnt to make that choice well, to go for thanksgiving and the prayer which trusts the loving heart of the listener. The Father who made us knows what wrings our hearts and what would weigh us down; he gives us the opportunity to cast that burden back on him, by giving thanks for what is now lost to us, and trusting that in his providence, we are no less loved and cared for than when we enjoyed those most painfully lost gifts – of people, of health, of material prosperity, whatever they are…

Dear friends, your grief and my grief are known to our father, and he waits to see what we will do with it. His spirit moves us towards his loving heart in faith, and invites us to choose trust, to choose not to try to carry all that is past with us into the future but to believe that in our God, in Father, Son and Spirit, we will know all that really matters and be gifted with contentment. May we learn to let the past with all its joys and sorrows be something that is in God’s keeping, and not fret over carrying it ourselves.. may we travel lightly and hopefully towards the glory which is our future with him.

We are family..

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But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one… For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow-citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his spirit.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fulness of God.

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called – one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

(Eph 2.13&14,18-22; 3.17-19; 4.3-6)

Nearly a month ago, I left the church community which has been my family for seven years ago, and moved across the country. I left behind faithful friends, people who have loved and supported and encouraged me, and whom I in turn have sought to love in Jesus’ name. Our last service together included that precious time of remembrance, when those who trust in him for salvation take bread and wine, take time to consider again what price was paid for our forgiveness, and take time to give thanks for one another – the family which God has created for himself.

The family of God around the world today is multicultural, multi-lingual, and yet we are taught that in Christ, we are one. Our unity is not a thing of uniformity, of shared language or tradition, but a glorious technicoloured celebration of diverse peoples who all call Jesus their Lord and Saviour. Our unity is founded solely in him, and in the effectiveness of his work on the cross to defeat sin, death and evil for us once and for ever.

This week, I took the bread and wine again, in a different building, with different believers around me. And I remembered again that Jesus died to make me his own, to unite me with all his precious brothers and sisters, those whom I love and miss, and those to whom I have been called in this time, these new family members who sit around me. How deeply thankful I am that wherever I go in the world, I have family. I can go to a gathering of Jesus’ followers and even if I understand very little of their language, I can share with them in praising God and celebrating my Saviour. The unity of his children is real – and in spite of the disgraceful habit which we have, of falling out and putting up fences, we still share so much more than any of the things that divide us!

The more we can focus on Jesus, on his love and power, his beauty and his high calling on our lives, the closer we are drawn to one another. Before God’s throne, where Jesus stands ever as our great High Priest, there is no distance at all between God’s children as they pray and call for him to work out his purposes and reveal his glory. When I come to intercede for my friends in India or Mexico, or to remember those whom I left behind last month, I am shoulder to shoulder with them as we spend time in God’s presence.

It is particularly sweet to me in this initial time of loss, to know that those whom I have left behind are not lost to God, but are precious to him and he will bring them safe into his presence. Even if in this world I do not see some of them again, I know that we will one day be together in glory, enjoying the new creation and praising our precious Jesus together. None of God’s children are lost to us when they go ahead into glory, we miss them, but only for a time and how we cherish that reassurance. I can place those whom I left behind into God’s safe keeping, and have peace that He will do all things well for them as for me. How great and good is our Father, to whom we owe everything and from whom we receive grace upon grace!

O Lord, such pain..

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Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. For your hands are stained with blood, your fingers with guilt. Your lips have spoken lies, and your tongue mutters wicked things.

No-one calls for justice; no-one pleads his case with integrity. They rely on empty arguments and speak lies; they conceive trouble and give birth to evil…Their deeds are evil deeds, and acts of violence are in their hands..

The way of peace they do not know; there is no justice in their paths. They have turned them into crooked roads; no-one who walks in them will know peace. So justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness:”

(Isa 591-4,6&8-9)

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. Look, your house is left to you desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord’.”

(Matt 23.37-39)

O Lord, what bitterness and despair come upon us as we consider what is happening today in our world. Nation at war with nation; regimes scheming and manipulating the lives of millions for economic and political ends. Implacable hatreds being fed by rhetoric, biased re-tellings of history, entrenched positions which must be defended and therefore justified at any cost. 

The agony and the anger together scream at us through our phones’ newsfeed, our newspaper headlines, and we cannot blot them out. The intractable and utterly tangled webs of history continue to give birth to pain, cruelty, human brutality and all forms of violence and destruction. 

The narrative of history is made up of the lives of millions of individuals, each one precious and known to you. The great stories of nations are worked out in the details of my life and the lives of people like me around the world – the small, ordinary ones who never pretended to have authority or to understand the trajectories of power. It is the suffering of the small people which rips the guts out of us. We see ourselves in their faces as they search for loved ones under the rubble of bombed buildings; we see our children in the limp bodies carried from battlefields; we see our elders in the frail forms stumbling from pitiful shelter to shelter in an effort to escape the violence.

Fear and hatred are breeding fear and hatred, as they have always done and will continue to do until you return to bring an end to the pain and darkness… how long, O Lord, will it be? The roots of the troubles lie so far back in history, and are so overgrown with all that has happened through the intervening years – with all its partial truth-telling, and inadequately understood motivations – that in many places there seems no hope of any resolution which can bring peace and justice. Where is your perfect judgement, O Lord? Where is your healing peace?

For all those who today are immersed in conflict, violence and fear, who know you as Lord, and call upon Jesus as their saviour, I pray today. May they be given the courage they need to face whatever happens with faith in you. May they be given the moment-by-moment strength to live for you in their own situation, and to point others to their only hope – Jesus. May they shine as lights in the darkness, and testify to your presence. May they not fear death, since it will bring them home to you. May they be given courage as they watch loved ones suffer, and may their faith not fail.

For all those today who are in positions of power – to authorise or restrain violence; to advise for or against destruction; to act in mercy or to act in ruthlessness – I pray, O Lord. In your sovereignty, work out peace, justice and healing so that the suffering will be ended. May those in power be appalled at what they have let loose, and instead bend all their efforts toward peace, seeking to promote the well-being of their people without violence and with justice.

Lord, God of the nations, it is only by your power at work in human hearts that such things can come about. Of ourselves, we are hopeless and helpless to stem this tide of evil. Your people beg that you will have mercy, that your spirit might move to transform darkness to light and bring peace where there is no peace. Your arm, O Lord, is mighty to save; your heart is full of compassion; let us see your kingdom come! 

Where are you?

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Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

(Gen 3.8-10)

The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert…. And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”  “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” She answered. then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back… I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count.”… She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,”

(Gen 15.7-10&13)

Then a voice said to him: “What are you doing here Elijah?” He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”… The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came…. I reserve seven thousand in Israel – all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal”…

(1 Kgs 19.13-15&18)

O Lord, you have searched me and you now me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways..

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

(Ps 139 1-3,11&12)

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. so don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 

(Matt 10.29-31)

Does God ever lose people? Have you ever wondered just why, in the story of the garden after Adam and Eve have eaten the forbidden fruit and are hiding, did God ask where they were? Surely He knew?!

One of the most comforting – and challenging – things that we find about God as revealed in the scriptures is his omniscience, or all-knowingness. We are told that there is absolutely nothing – in any realm of creation, and inside our own minds and hearts – which escapes God’s eye and comprehension. There is nowhere, literally in anything that exists, which is not open to God. Think about that for a moment or two.. it means that when we shut up our shame over sin, or harbour grudges for the hurt done to us by another – we are wasting our efforts because God sees it all. It means that when evil, or good, are being conceived and carried out anywhere, by anyone, God sees it and can perfectly judge the true justice of every situation. Thus we can be both reassured – we are never lost to God – and challenged – since He clearly sees all our actions, thoughts and motivations.

So, I return to my question.. why does God ask where Adam and Eve have got to? Is it to gave them the opportunity to respond with the truth, to tell it like it is and acknowledge that they have messed up and are in big trouble? I think we can all agree that if a person is plainly in trouble, but refusing to accept that reality, then they cannot be helped. A person needs to acknowledge – to confess or call by its true name – their situation in order to be delivered from it.

When God says to you, or to me today, “Where are you?” what will be the answer? Am I at sea, amid great rolling breakers of pain or suffering which are like to swamp me? Then the Lord reminds me that he is greater than all that assails me, and his power is able to hold me until the stilling of the storm.

Am I part of a happy family party, celebrating connection, anniversaries, shared life and varied experiences? Then the Lord reminds me that all good things come from him, the Father of all, and that as I celebrate and give thanks, I give glory to him.

Am I astray amid doubts and weariness, or in a far country spending my life’s riches on those things which my culture and popular wisdom tell me will bring happiness? Then the Lord, when he calls, invites me to recognise the barrenness of my real situation, and to confess that I am hungry and thirsty the water of life, for the bread and wine of the covenant, for the only thing which will truly satisfy me – Jesus.

As I hear my Lord’s voice today, calling to ask where I am, let me be honest and by the help of the Holy Spirit, confess the truth and share my need, no matter how ashamed of it I may be. Jesus has made sure that my home is with him, and when he says that I matter to my heavenly Father, I can believe it. There is no need for any of God’s children to face life alone, He knows where they are all the time and is waiting to be invited to join them.

..is this all really for me?

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The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid? ….  For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.

(Ps 27.1&5)

‘Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life.’

(Jn 5.24)

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God….

The one who is victorious will not be hurt at all by the second death… To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it..

To the one who is victorious and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations.. just as I received authority from my Father. I will also give that one the morning star… The one who is victorious will.. be dressed in white. I will never blot out the name of that person from the book of life, but will acknowledge that name before my Father and his angels..

The one who is victorious I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will they leave it. I will write on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God, and I will also write on them my new name….

To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.

(Rev 2.7,11,17,26-28;3.5,12-13,21)

Lord God, almighty and eternally good; Heavenly Father, perfect in compassion and in saving love, hear your child this night. She is weary with loss and parting; with uncertainty and the overwhelming grief of goodbye. Have mercy on your child in her weakness, and may your compassion hem her in with protection from despair and bitterness against you.

Mighty Saviour, zealous for my salvation, transformation and adoption into your Father’s family, I rest in your completed work on my behalf and acknowledge the poverty of my own life before your perfection. I have deserved judgement and condemnation, but have received mercy and grace in abundance. Thank you that as I trust in you, I am clothed in your righteousness, called by your name, assured of a place in glory with the saints which will never be taken from me.

Because it is you, my Lord, who sits upon the throne of glory, and because you sustain your life in me by your spirit, I hold up my head and boast of your power, love and atoning sacrifice. I am kept safe in your dwelling, and have crossed over from death into eternal life – life with all the qualities of the divine; I live your life.

Because it is you, my Lord, who sits upon the throne of glory, and because you have birthed in me the desire to know and love you ever more faithfully, I am confident to face suffering and death, bearing your name and knowing that my place at your side is secure. By your help, I will honour you in all that comes to me, playing the part assigned to me.

You will be faithful to your promises. I can rest in them, and stand firm against the tide of mockery, indifference or hostility that may come. Though the darkness of human evil and the anguish of suffering may rise like a tide to wash me away, yet I will be held safe on the rock of refuge, my Lord and Saviour. You have shown me the eternal realities behind this shadow-play, and I know who it is that truly reigns – it is the Lamb, looking as one who had been slain; it is my Jesus, and I can trust him. Let me be at peace and let his promises strengthen my faith to face all that may come.