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What am I afraid of?

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The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring for ever.

(Ps 19.9)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

(Ps 111.10)

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs,… and they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”

(Isa 6.1-5)

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid: you are worth more than many sparrows.”

(Matt10.28-31)

Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men.. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died… we implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

(2Cor 5.11,14&20)

What is it to fear? Why is it that on one hand, we have so many exhortations to ‘fear God’, and on the other, so many instances where God encourages and reassures his children that they are not to be afraid? I think that – like the word ‘love’ – the word ‘fear’, has a range of meanings, and that the idea of a healthy, even liberating fear has got lost for many people – especially as applied to their spiritual lives and relationship to God.

It is a complex topic, too large for a short conversation, but I want to tease out one or two things – if I can! Since the word of God to us includes such a strong message that to fear him is to enter into wisdom, to know freedom and peace, then it must be more than dreading the infliction of pain or loss, because our God is holy, loving, gracious and good – we see in Jesus a generosity of compassion which takes our breath away – why should we be afraid of that?

Paul’s fear of the Lord propelled his mission, driving him on to spread the good news of the salvation and transformation which Jesus offers to all who will accept him – and Paul was no craven, trembling slave of a forbidding divinity, but an exultant apostle, shouting for joy about the love of God! If that is what ‘the fear of the Lord’ can do, then we need not be ashamed of it, but rather pursue it!

As fallen humanity, we dread the approach of purity, light and love, because we have rebelled against it, and shut it out – to have such light shine on us is unbearable as it shows up our poverty and filth, shows how we have squandered our potential on ashes. But, as God’s redeemed children, we approach that purity, worship that power and glory, and tremble to think of grieving the heart of Love – we rightly ‘fear’ to dishonour and disappoint him, to fail to use all we are and have for his glory. This kind of fear is indeed the beginning of wisdom, the beginning of knowing what it is to be fully human!

When, through faith in Jesus, I am restored to my true calling or vocation – to be God’s image bearer in his creation – I am what I am made to be, and need fear nothing else. My hearing is obedience waiting to spring into action, and nothing has any power to daunt me, because I am utterly secure in my identity as God’s beloved child. I may fear to offend, not because I dread punishment, but because the heart of Love is tender, and I long to honour and imitate it. And even here, I need not ‘fear’ when I fail, because my Lord has forgiven me, accepted me, and my mistakes cannot derail his purposes.

I will not fully live without unhealthy fear until I am made new, but I rejoice to know that God is at work to change me, to loosen the hold of lies on my thinking, and set me free to take courage for each day. He cares for me, what need I care for anything more than delighting to do his will and enjoying what he sends me? As I wrote this blog, the words of this old hymn based on Psalm 34 came to mind, and I share them with you as encouragement today.

Through all the changing scenes of life, in trouble and in joy, the praises of my God shall still my heart and tongue employ.

O, make but trial of his love, experience will decide, how blest are they, and only they, who in his truth confide.

Fear him, ye saints, and you will then have nothing else to fear; make his service your delight, your wants shall be his care.

(Nahum Tate: 1652-1715)

30 years is but a moment in time…

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Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. .. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!

People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. they feast in the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

(Ps 36.5-9)

Praise the Lord!

Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in their houses, and their righteousness endures for ever. 

Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely, who conduct their affairs with justice.

Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered for ever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. they have freely scattered their gifts to the poor, their righteousness endures for ever; their horn will be lifted high in honour…

(Ps 112.1-9)

This weekend brings the 30th anniversary of the day when I promised to love and cherish my husband till death should part us… I have been married more than half my life, and hold this relationship to be one of God’s most precious gifts to me, in awe of the privilege of sharing life with one person, committing to faithfulness, forgiveness, patience and generosity every moment of every day for the rest of our lives together.

In the days before we married, I had some bad times of doubt, fearful of my untrustworthy feelings, and God in his mercy gave me this assurance… I knew, beyond all shadow of doubt, that I wanted to be good for this man, to see him thrive. If being married to me was part of that thriving, then I wanted to be married! That assurance has never left me, and how I thank God for it. No two marriages are the same, and I have no list of essential good habits, nor of ‘must-avoid’ mistakes, I only have faith that God who decided that marriage is a good idea, who brought us together, who keeps us together, and who has in his grace chosen to bless others through us over the years, will continue to do so as we grow older together.

As we each serve and worship God, putting him first in our lives, and sharing that priority, everything else falls into place and we depend only on him to meet our deepest needs, to be the perfect partner and Lord of our lives. No human being can always get it right, and what comfort it is to know that it is not my job to be ‘the perfect wife’! My task is to love God, and then to love others, my husband first, and to love him as Christ loved me – joyfully, sacrificially, faithfully, patiently, with understanding, grace, forgiveness and humility. It is my privilege to demonstrate Christ’s unconditional love to this human being every day. And how often I fail… But thanks be to God, who helps my husband to forgive me, and helps us both to find the will to go forward together in faith.

Thirty years… it seems barely possible, and yet the lines on my face tell me that those years have indeed passed. The children who were gifted to us are grown, and a grandchild is expected soon. We are becoming older, and please God, will do so with grace, growing in wisdom and contentment, happy that God’s faithfulness is the basis of our lives, and the theme song of our marriage.

Many do not get thirty years; some are never gifted with marriage but rather with a single life, and others experience great grief at the hands of the person whom they trusted above all others… I do not take this gift for granted, I do not elevate it as somehow superior to a single life, and pray that I may never abuse the trust which my husband puts in me, nor take advantage of his vulnerability to me. How does Christ love us? In a selfless, relentless, dependable way.. He always seeks our good, even through hard trials. Let me continue to learn what love looks like in this season of life; I don’t know how many more years I will have, nor what they will bring, but I pray God might be the one who is glorified and honoured by this marriage, as he helps me to be good for my husband.

Grace to relinquish

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Jesus said to them, ” I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.

(Matt 19.28&29)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy, he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade – kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.

(1 Pet.1:3-7)

We make promises to one another in marriage. We promise that we will conduct ourselves in particular ways, regardless of the situations in which we find ourselves, and also regardless of how we happen to feel on any given day. A marriage can only survive if the partners trust that – so far as is humanly possible – those promises will be kept. We have to believe that our spouse means to love us at our least lovable; to care for us in our weakness; to be loyal and discreet about our failures; to be for us even when we are against ourselves. Without that trust – in their words becoming motivations, attitudes and deeds – we cannot fully give ourselves to the relationship, but always hold back in self-defence. My trustworthiness is the gift I give to my husband, so that he knows my word is true, and can rest in it.

As followers of Jesus, we have also made promises before God – to enthrone Christ as Lord of our lives, to hold ourselves in readiness to serve him, to hold all his gifts to us on an open hand and continually offer them up to him to be used as he pleases for his purposes. We do not bargain with God when we become believers – we are not earning favour or salvation by our own love and service – but the magnitude of Christ’s saving work calls forth a response of whole-hearted dedication of our whole selves to him, and in our fervour we sing that he is all we need or desire in the world…. And then he offers us the opportunity to prove that our words were more than empty air, but represented the deepest truth about ourselves, and so often we hesitate.

What does that hesitation say about our trust in God? I think it says that we have a very low estimation of our Father’s abilities or desire to do what he promised. The bible is full of people who doubted God and tried to hold onto things, to manipulate situations in order to protect themselves and get their own preferred escape from trouble. How we struggle to believe that the dark valleys are necessary, are truly God’s path for us. How we rage against the loss of those things dearest to us, as if God were simply mean and liked to make us sad.

Friends, I am facing the end of a chapter in my life which has brought wonderful joys – good things for which I have thanked God over and over again. And now He asks me to relinquish these good things, to trust him for an unknown future, and to do this in such a way that He will be glorified in my life and witness. As I thought about this, I have been reminded of the words of saints of old. I have been rebuked and challenged by them to seek the grace of relinquishment for the sake of Christ, to follow cheerfully where He calls me. May God enable me to obey with readiness, thanksgiving and a spirit of trusting gladness, as I lay this place, this community and all the joy it represents on the altar as my sacrifice of praise.

Were the whole realm of nature mine, that were an offering far too small. Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life my all.

(Isaac Watts, 1674-1748)

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.

(Jim Elliott  1927-1956)

If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for him.

(CT Studd 1860-1931)

You are what you eat….

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The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple… They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.

(Ps 19.7&10)

On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine – the best of meats and the finest of wines. On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples, the sheet that covers up all nations; he will swallow up death for ever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The Lord has spoken. In that day they will say, “Surely this is our God; we trusted in him and he saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”

(Isa 25.6-9)

Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the son of man will give you… For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world… I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry… If anyone eats of this bread, he will live for ever.

(Jn 6.27,33,35&51)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Phil 4.6&7)

We are broken and beautiful creatures, living in a broken and beautiful world, where nothing is ever completely perfect or utterly reliable, or free from pain and doubt. On this side of glory, we are sure of nothing, except our own craving for security, significance and purpose. As a follower of Jesus, I believe that I am in the best possible place to deal with the uncertainty of life in this world, because I have wisdom, perspective and a reason to hope that I will live in a perfect world, and I am therefore not utterly broken by the disappointments of this life.

In Jesus, I am freely given all I need to persevere in this life, glorifying God and putting my trust in him alone, instead of wasting my energy and breaking my heart over things which will pass and let me down. The question is whether I fully appropriate all that is mine in Jesus – do I make it my own, do I live by it?

In every situation in life, I can choose whether to react by focussing on the unknowns, on the (often valid) causes for anxiety – or to focus on the truth about God, about his power at work for good, and his character of love, faithfulness and mercy. What do I feed my spirit with day by day as I navigate this beautiful, broken world? Do I feed my fear, or my faith?

The bible talks about meditating on God’s word, which means pondering, repeating it to oneself, chewing it over in the same way that some animals repeatedly chew their food. It is a vivid image which conveys the sense that we are feeding on the word, finding nourishment and health, getting all the goodness out of it.

But it can be very easy to feed instead on my anxieties. When I am in difficult circumstances, am I meditating on all the things I can’t understand or control? On the things that I regret, or resent? On the ways I have been hurt or disappointed? On ways that I can take control, create some illusion of authority over my life? Or on the consequences of my actions, those things which may be hard for others? – that kind of chewing is not healthy for me, leads to spiritual weakness, and fear over the future

While those things may be true or real in my experience, I can see that making them the centre of my attention is not going to help me. Instead, I am invited to bring the whole messy bundle of worries and questions to my God, laying them at his feet and choosing a different diet for my mind.

As I choose to meditate on God’s word, on what is true about him, and what he says is true about me then I focus on facts, not unanswerable questions. As I choose to chew over my blessings, the faithfulness of God to his church and to me, then I have reason to praise him and to find hope.  As I choose to worship him for who he is, regardless of what is happening and remember that he is God and I am not, then I remember who is truly in control and find peace. This kind of chewing is healthy for me, it feeds faith and builds resilience, maturity and hope for the future.

Let the consequences of your obedience be left up to God:

Oswald Chambers (1874-1917)

Loving Father, so much of my trouble comes from trying to work out all the details, not only for myself but for others. Let me learn to trust you with all the consequences of my obedience, and to remember that you love my precious people even more than I do, and are infinitely more able to work your plans for their good than I can imagine!

Lord, let me feed faith, by feeding on your word, by praising your greatness, by choosing to look at you and not at myself. Make me stronger, more resilient, a more faithful witness to you as I choose those things that feed faith, and reject those that feed fear. Help me to keep on doing this, day by day and hour by hour, for your glory and the blessing of many.

On the way home

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In that day this song will be sung in the land of Judah: “We have a strong city; he sets up salvation as walls and bulwarks. Open the gates, that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in. You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock…. The path of the righteous is level; you make level the way of the righteous. In the path of your judgements, O Lord, we wait for you; your name and remembrance are the desire of our soul. My soul yearns for you in the night; my spirit within me earnestly seeks you. For when your judgements are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness.. O Lord, you will ordain peace for us, for you have indeed done for us all our works.

(Isa 26.1-4,7-9 & 12)

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

(Jn 16.33)

As a follower of Jesus, I live in an in-between time, a waiting and watching time, and yet a time when my Lord commands my full commitment to living with and for him in the present and place where I am. For over two millenia, Christians have existed with this tension, and still we wait, reading history through the lens of God’s revelation of his ways with humankind, and discerning how as time goes by, the truth of that revelation is underscored again and again. Therefore, we wait in hope, as those who are confident in the fulfillment of their expectations and content to be busy meanwhile about their master’s business. I cannot know when he will return, but I want to be actively working and worshipping when he comes!

The passage in Isaiah is a meditation on what it is like to inhabit this now-and-not-yet state; to be saved and yet still live with temptations; to be on the victor’s side and yet still experience the pain and damage of warfare; to be transformed into God’s beloved children and yet still live in a world and with people who do not know him and with all the devastating consequences of sin. The believer recognises that peace is the gift of God, indeed, all that is needed for our salvation and eternal life is from God’s gracious hand. It is his choice to make us secure in his family and give us an inheritance in the city of salvation which he has made. It is by God’s grace that we are able to keep faith, in spite of sin and failing in this world, to go on desiring his glory and a better, closer, truer relationship with him every day.  

As we choose to live according to his judgements, accepting his definition of right and wrong, living within the boundaries which he lovingly appoints for us, we walk in his paths. As we choose to accept those troubles which he judges permissible, living in a fallen world, under all the consequences of our sins and those of others, accepting them by faith as his decrees and continuing to seek his glory and to obey him, then we walk in his paths. In both those kinds of walking, we are waiting for God to reveal himself through our lives to others – to demonstrate his grace and goodness and love and speak to them.

As I go into another year, with trouble on all sides and many voices clamouring for my attention, I pray that – with Isaiah – I might say the name and renown of the Lord is the desire of my heart, and that I yearn day and night to know and honour him more. I pray that I might trust that the peace which is my portion in Jesus is indeed fully mine – that I might face trials steadily and base my life in God’s promises and the knowledge that he makes my path smooth as I follow in faith where he leads. I am on the way home, to a glory, a love, a family all beyond my wildest dreams; let my heart therefore not be troubled as I walk through  this shadowy realm, waiting on the Lord in my spirit and finding him ever present as my unshakeable rock and salvation.

A perennial blight

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My heart cries out over Moab; her fugitives flee…weeping as they go; they lament their destruction. Their waters are dried up and the grass is withered; the vegetation is gone and nothing green is left.. the wealth they have acquired.. they carry away. Like fluttering birds pushed from the nest, so are the women of Moab at the fords of the Arnon.

(Isa 15.5-7; 16.2)

The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

(1 Cor 11.23-26)

I saw heaven open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war…. and his name is the Word of God…On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

(Rev 19.11,13&16)

Many other and more discerning writers will put pen to paper this weekend, to comment and lament and analyse the appalling addiction of humankind to war and violence as a means of resolving difference and apportioning resources. I only want to reflect for myself briefly on the pattern, on its devastating consequences, and on the solution which is revealed in the good news about Jesus.

One of the earliest consequences of human rebellion was the resort to violence as a means to an end, and a response to the fear of others which sin breeds in us. Cain took his brother’s life, and within a few generations, his descendant Lamech was boasting about how many he had killed for trivial reasons and with impunity.

The picture of destruction and of fleeing refugees in all their vulnerability has changed little since Isaiah wept over the plight of the neighbouring land of Moab – human distress in war is not new, although perhaps the means of inflicting it may be. 

Left to ourselves, this expression of the destructive power of sin might have quickly wiped out humankind, and I believe that it is only the ‘restraining power of common grace’ (with thanks to the scholar Alex Motyer*) which has enabled our race to continue to exist and to grow in numbers and sophistication of technology and culture down the centuries. 

The bible tells us that God is not willing that any should perish, and his hand of final judgement is still withheld, even though sin in all its ugliness and destructive power dominates our lives. He is preparing a people for himself, with whom to share a life eternal, and for this reason, he waits. And that means that war goes on, violence continues to shatter lives and devastate communities and countries. Humanity left to itself is incapable of breaking the cycle, because it springs from the blight lodged in deepest recesses of all our hearts. We must not hide from the evidence – is the 21st century looking more peaceful and harmonious than the 20th did? No! This seems to be another lesson from history which we cannot learn.

The good news about Jesus is that he came to win the ultimate fight – against the power which enslaves humankind to wrong and destructive choices, to rebellion against God. He won through surrendering to violence – undeserved death, alienation from God – and his resurrection demonstrates his victory because sin’s ultimate weapon is death, and Christ defeated it.

When his followers remember Jesus’ suffering and death, they do so in anticipation and in thankfulness. We remember that sin has been defeated, that we are on the winning side, and that one day we will enter into a life where death and suffering have no place – where war and weeping are no more.

As a Christian, I believe that I am called to be a peacemaker – to live and interact with others in ways that promote love, generosity, forgiveness and healing. I also believe that until God’s time of waiting is finally over, there cannot be true peace in the world, because only when all human hearts are healed and made new will there be an end to those things which cause wars. 

I remember the fallen, the broken, the displaced and the haunted-living whose minds are so traumatised by violence that their lives are detestable to them. I pray and speak and move for healing peace between individuals and nations. But I do not put my faith in human effort, or education, or any other possible tool. I put my faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus, whom I also remember, with gladness and profound humble relief, as the one who has defeated the enemy of all our souls, and has promised that one day we will live with him in perfect, fruitful and lively peace.

[Alex Motyer; The prophecy of Isaiah, IVP, 1993]

What gets my ‘thumbs up’?…

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Praise be to you, O Lord; teach me your decrees. with my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statues as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

(Ps 119.12-16)

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else and not your own lips….As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart….The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but people are tested by their praise.

(Pr 27. 2,19&21)

These people come near to me with their mouth and honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me…

(Isa 29.13)

..store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also….No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

(Matt 6.19-21,24)

We know – because we are continually being told – that the great internet companies succeed in part through their ability to gather information about us, their customers. This enables them to target what we see every time we engage with our social media – stimulating our desires and generating (as they hope) more spending to keep the great money machine ticking over. By diligent monitoring of our habits, viewing activities, previous purchasing and ‘likes’, they build up a picture of what we are like, of our preferences, even our likely political opinions. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to see the ‘profile’ created for me by these companies, would I recognise myself? Would I see anything that would suggest that I am – as Christ instructed me – laying up treasures for myself in heaven?

It is relatively easy, when in the company of other believers, to say the ‘right’ things and give an impression of devotion and commitment to Jesus, but the Lord sees my heart and knows just how far those verbal affirmations go in telling the truth about me… He knows what really makes me glad, or sad. He sees when I am bored of being holy and instead choose self-indulgence, laziness and conformity to the society around me. Who am I trying to fool when I make the right noises, but live a lie? Shame on me, if I am trying to fool my fellow believers – surely it were better that I admit my struggles to remain faithful, and ask for the help of my sisters and brothers in Christ?

The choices I make, in doing and spending, in speaking and remaining silent, all add up to a clear picture about what really motivates me in daily living. As a new creature in Jesus, forgiven and transformed by the indwelling of his Spirit, the potential to be driven by love for my Lord and a desire for his glory is already in me. Do I choose to harness that potential, to ask for his help in setting my heart on heavenly treasures? Sometimes I do, and sometimes, I don’t have to ask! Just occasionally, I am blessed by the realisation that Christ is indeed at work in me, and the desires of my heart – the things that I value and praise – are the things of God, of eternal value, the glory of the Saviour himself. Thank God for such occasions in your life, for the encouragement they give to your perseverance and the testimony to his power at work in you.

The transformation of our characters into the likeness of Jesus doesn’t lead to a bland, half-lived life. Rather we enter into a fuller life, because our passions are now godly and can be expressed strongly and safely, they are all under his command and direction. We learn to love justice as he does – so we can be rightly angered by injustice, oppression and exploitation. We learn to see his power in creation, to realise the privilege of sharing in stewardship of this great gift, and so we can be passionate about looking after our planet, its ecosystems, and all the people whom God loves so much that Jesus died for them. We know the value of each human life, so we can be passionately interested in our neighbours, in what is good for them and our wider communities – we learn to love as God loves, appreciating each individual in all their unique glory. We see the devastating effects of sin, throughout creation, and so we long passionately to share the good news of Jesus and the defeat of evil which he achieved.

Our Father in heaven, stir up in our hearts all those desires for heavenly treasure which you have imparted to us. May we burn more steadily and more brightly for you, so that it is clear for all to see just where our hearts are. We pray this for the glory of Jesus our Lord, and for your work in the world. Amen

If not me, then who?

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In the first year of Cyrus king of Persia, in order to fulfil the word of the Lord spoken by Jeremiah, the Lord moved the heart of Cyrus king of Persia to make a proclamation throughout his realm and to put it in writing: “This is what Cyrus king of Persia says: ‘The Lord, the God of heaven, has given me all the kingdoms of the earth and he has appointed me to build a temple for him at Jerusalem in Judah. Anyone of his people among you – may his God be with him, and let him go up to Jerusalem in Judah and build the temple of the Lord, the God of Israel, the God who is in Jerusalem…..” Then the family heads of Judah and Benjamin, and the priests and Levites – everyone whose heart God had moved, prepared to go up and build the house of the Lord in Jerusalem….

Now these are the people of the province who came up from the captivity of the exiles..they returned..each to his own town, in company with Zerubbabel, Jeshua, Nehemiah, Seraiah, Reelaiah, Mordecai, Bilshan, Mispar, Bigvai, Rehum and Baanah: The list of the men of the people of Israel: the descendants of Parosh, 2172; of Shephatiah, 372…the men of Bethlehem, 123; of Netophah, 56…

(Ezr 1.1-5; 2.1-4,21&22))

The great Hebrew Scripture narratives of exodus and exile are associated with lists….huge lists of names and numbers, relating to the people who were involved in these historic events. As modern readers, we are tempted to skip over them – we can’t pronounce most of them, and they mean nothing to us! But consider their significance to generations of Jews, who would trace their own family name back to one of these, and remember with awe that their ancestors were part of those hugely significant events. The inclusion of these names is a reminder that all of God’s work in history has involved individuals, real people like you and me, whose lives were caught up into his overarching purpose. 

As those called to be God’s people, we are pledged to obedience and faithfulness (as God enables us), and we are not free to dictate the terms on which we will follow where God is leading – we are slaves to Christ, not his employees and certainly not his employers! If all the exiled Israelites had responded to God’s prompting of their hearts by saying – ” returning to Jerusalem and rebuilding the temple is a great idea…let someone else do it, I am quite comfortable here with the way things are and I don’t like change..”: then there would have been no return from exile. I wonder how those who chose not to go felt in later years? Did they regret their failure to be part of that work of return and rebuilding, or had their faith never been in God at all, but rather in the trappings of prosperity and security which they now found in Babylon?

It is our personal commitment within the body of Christ which leads to corporate obedience. If I choose to delegate obedience to another, what is to prevent them doing the same? It is entirely possible for us to miss out on being part of God’s work in the world – but we will be the losers, and our faith and spiritual health will suffer. Is my trust in Jesus as my Lord, or in the habit of meeting in a certain place at a certain time? Is my faith a matter of habit and laziness – of letting someone else tell me what to think and avoiding the difficult questions and self-disclosure which might prompt self-examination, confession, repentance and change? 

Most of us recognise that many formal church structures are collapsing, and that perhaps it is time for far-reaching change if we are to support local believers in authentic witness and outreach to our communities. What will my response be to change that hurts? Will I reject it and cling to my own comfort, or will I allow Christ’s love to compel me along the difficult path, trusting his provision and enabling? If each member of the church in turn says, “Change is good, but let other people change, I am comfortable here”, then there will be no corporate submission to God’s leading into new things.  We will have shown that even the abundant grace shown to us in Jesus, and all the lavish promises of God are not as valuable to us as our comfortable traditions.

Change starts within each one of us….

Do I worship Jesus as Lord of my life? Then I must at the least be willing to set aside anything which hinders his work – including cherished music, forms of worship, translations of scriptures – and also to make myself available to do things differently – perhaps to learn in new ways, to be more active in sharing with others. The pain or struggle of doing this will be real, but is his love not worth anything I can give? What does the old hymn say?

“Were the whole realm of nature mine, that were an offering far too small; love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life my all.”

I hold my personal comfort in an open hand, I offer it to the Lord and say, take this and use it according to your pleasure. I will trust you to be with me, no matter where and when I meet with your people; no matter what we sing – or don’t sing; and to speak to me whether there is an ordained minister present or not! Lead me into whatever you have for me, and I will follow, all that matters is that Jesus is honoured and obeyed.

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Living with imperfections..

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“Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me..When..you do not speak out to dissuade him from his ways…I will hold you accountable for his blood..Say to them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! ‘”

(Ezek 33.7&8,11)

“Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of all men. for I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God..”

(Acts 20.26&27)

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection…Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on…Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me, put it into practice.

(Phil 3.10&12, 4.9)

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith…

(Heb 13.7)

The apostle Paul is revealed through his words – recorded in the book of Acts, and in his pastoral letters to churches and leaders – as a passionate evangelist and church planter, consumed with one desire – to make Christ known across the ancient world. His single-minded pursuit of this goal took him through dreadful suffering and persecution, and enriched his life as he saw God transforming lives through the preaching of the gospel.

Paul was urgent, earnest, and fully aware of the responsibility which God had laid upon him – to call the wicked to repentance and faith through Christ. In his powerful final address to his beloved friends in Ephesus, he declares himself ‘innocent’, a watchman who had fulfilled his calling and warned of the coming judgement and present offer of salvation. No one could accuse him of withholding good news from them; their guilt would be on their own heads for rejecting God’s grace.

Paul knew that he was not perfect, indeed he refers on several occasions to his ongoing weakness and struggle. But, it is not that which defined his ministry, it was his tenacious obedience, and total dependence upon Christ for salvation and acceptance with God. When Paul invites his readers to imitate him, it is not because everything in his life was holy and without fault. Rather it is because he knows it is not, and he has sought on every occasion to model how the believer should conduct themselves in light of that knowledge.

As redeemed sinners, we are free from the fear of sin because we have full forgiveness whenever we need it, and the burden of guilt is taken from us. Our sin no longer defines us, and cannot hinder God in the working out of his purposes. We are on the winning side and although our enemy is powerful, our captain is victorious and our very struggles are – by his grace – working out for our blessing and his glory.

When the writer to the Hebrews invites the reader to imitate their leaders, it is faith which is mentioned, not perfect lives. What is faith? It is the assurance of things not seen – our promised eternal life at home in glory, our future perfection and the full realisation of the sanctifying work of Christ in us. Faith is depending upon God’s promises, and basing our lives on the truth of what he says about us – forgiven, justified, adopted, beloved, glorious. This kind of faith does not pretend that there is no sin left, nor is it obsessed by the fear of sin, but rather it knows the quickest way to the Father’s side, to the mercy-seat, to the fresh cleansing fountain of forgiveness and the strength of Christ in us to resist temptation and if we fall, to get up in confidence that God is with us and we can keep going.

This is how we live with imperfections, by imitating Paul and others who have taught and modelled the christian life for us – as a persevering, a dogged and cheerful obedience which knows that we are not earning salvation, but living in it. This side of death, we cannot know complete freedom from our weaknesses, and from the pain of sin in the world. But we can live free from fear of those things, because Christ has conquered them, has promised that none of them can separate us from him nor prevent the completion of his work.

God grant us a burning desire to be holy for him, total dependance on Christ’s saving work and the Holy Spirit’s power so that as we press on, we will indeed be changed increasingly into the likeness of our glorious captain, to whom be all the praise and honour!

 

Dare I look?..

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Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from wilful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

(Ps 19.12-14)

Do good to your servant according to your word, O Lord. Teach me knowledge and good judgement, for I believe in your commands….It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.

(Ps 119.65,66&71)

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart…..God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

(Heb 4.12; 12.10&11)

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and , after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does.

(James 1.22-25)

Why do we have mirrors? To show us ourselves – not our neighbours, nor our spouses and children – and to show us our context, the place where we are standing. In biblical terms, the “mirror” is the word of God, the sure source of truth amid the distorting lies which the fallen world, and our own weak natures spin to us about who we are, and what life is really all about. This mirror will not lie to us, to make us feel better about who we are, or to pretend that all is well. This mirror will also not fail to speak the truth about who God says we are, and have been made in Christ.

This mirror tells us that without Christ, we are hopeless sinners in a broken world under the judgement of a holy God, and with a future of eternal separation from Love himself. It tells us that with Christ – as we are found by faith in him – we are redeemed, beloved children of God; there is no sentence of judgement hanging over us any more, and at heart, we are new creatures – no longer sinners by nature, but holy ones, or saints, who sometimes sin but not in settled rebellion against our creator. As we look into this mirror, we should come away filled with confidence and gladness, thankful for the new life we have received and the security that God is keeping us safe for an eternal future with him.

So yes, I should indeed dare to look into the mirror, and often! But it also shows me truth about the hidden and wilful sins which I – as God’s holy child – still commit so persistently, and this can be very painful to see. Too often, I come with my own idea of how I look – self-righteous, patronisingly long-suffering, martyred in my own eyes as other people let me down…

The mirror of God’s word has particularly revealing powers, bringing into sharp and painful definition all the ways in which I am committing those same sins which I attribute to others; full of pride instead of humility, and cherishing endurance instead of loving generously. God does not ask me to be the guardian of another person’s soul, but only to be accountable to him for myself – nothing excuses my unloving spirit; there is always good reason to forgive, because in Christ I am forgiven; I am given life and breath each day in order to bless others, to show God’s love to them, to give in the face of indifference and rejection and not count the cost.

No excuses, no special ‘make-up’ to cover the blemishes, only the searching gospel-light of scripture directed by the Holy Spirit which is designed to bring me daily to my knees in repentance and confession, then to my feet in rejoicing as I go in Christ’s strength and love to do the work in hand.

May the grace of God cover all those ways in which I let others down, and may he continue to show me where I am wilfully sinning, and to uncover hidden sins, that I might repent and be cleansed. What a faithful God we have, who having sealed us for eternity, also gives us all we need to live joyfully and with ever purer hearts for him each day!