Author Archives: eps992014

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About eps992014

a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a mother, wife, sometime runner, singer, gardener, and proud Scot

Who is this that speaks?

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 ‘Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life.. For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself. And he has given him authority to judge…

Jesus said.. ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die..

(Jn 5.24-27; 11.25)

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: ‘Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades … These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds…

These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. I know where you live… These are the words of the Son of God, whose eyes are like blazing fire and whose feet are like burnished bronze. I know your deeds.. These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds….. These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. I know your deeds…..

Then… I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, ‘Who is worthy to  break the seals and open the scroll?’… Then one of the elders said to me, ‘..see, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll..’ Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing at the centre of the throne… And they sang a new song, saying: ‘You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased for God persons from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.’

(Rev 1.18,2.1,12,18; 3.7.14; 5.5-10)

It is easy for the cares of the world to distract us, for the evil one to beguile us into focussing on humankind and thus lead us into despair, for our own failures to hobble us and hold us back from joyful living. One of the best antidotes to doubt, fear and despair is to bring ourselves back to the truth that we have received about God, about Jesus Christ, about the good news of salvation and all that is purposed for this world by our Maker.

As we find ourselves becoming uneasy and distracted, or even better, before it happens, we can choose to turn our thoughts to the realities which are revealed through scripture, and gain a true perspective, a safe rock on which to stand against the tide of doubt. What better subject to choose for such meditation than the name of our saviour? In the thinking of the writers of scripture, a person’s name is considered as denoting their character and purpose, something which we tend to forget. But once we take this on board and begin to look for all the ways that Jesus is described throughout scripture, we quickly find our minds  lifted onto a very exalted and thrilling plane!

There are so many wonderful ways in which Jesus is described and named for us through the narrative of the bible, and I commend them all to you as worthy sources of fruitful thought and meditation. Today I quoted  some of the names given at the beginning of John’s Revelation – spoken by the One who is counted worthy to receive the praise of the hosts of heaven and who yet knows us, our deeds and all our circumstances.

Read these wonderful names to yourself again, read aloud and savour the majesty and power which they signify. Then remind yourself.. “It is this person in whom I trust; this one who calls me beloved; this one who has promised to bring me safely home; this one who calls me to serve him while life remains in my body; this one who calls me to trust amidst chaos, pain and darkness.”

When I remember to whom I pray, and of whom I witness, and for whom I live, I bow in adoration and praise, rejoicing to be counted among his people and exalted by the honour of being known by his name. Then, I stand my ground with a renewed confidence and trust with renewed hope that He will indeed do all things well. Glory to him in and through all!

spare me the closed ear…

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Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you.. Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.. Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight, so that it may go well with you..

(Deut 6.3,6&18)

Hear, you deaf; look, you blind, and see! Who is blind but my servant, and deaf like the messenger I send? .. You have seen many things, but you pay no attention; your ears are open, but you do not listen.

(Isa 42.18&20)

The Sovereign Lord … wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away.

(Isa 50.4&5)

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues in it – not forgetting what they have heard but doing it – they will be blessed in what they do.

(Jas 1.22-25)

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches…

(Rev 2.7)

When my children were small, distracted and impatient of instruction or parental caution, I would sometimes ask them to listen to me with their eyes as well as their ears… I reckoned that if they were concentrating both eyes on my face, they were a good deal more likely to be concentrating their minds on my words! The faculty of hearing is repeatedly referred to in the bible as of crucial importance in responding to God’s revelation of himself, and always the inference is that unless one responds in obedience, one is not really listening, not hearing properly.

If I claim to be attuned to God’s voice, alert to his instruction, and yet continue to make choices and behave in ways which contradict his will, then I am not actually hearing him at all. I have closed my ears to his voice, and am listening instead to my own desires, or to the cultural voice which speaks more pleasingly. It was this sin into which the people of Israel fell, and were repeatedly warned against by the prophets. All their boasted faithfulness to God was in practice a willed deafness to his call to obedient witness and dependence on him. They paid a very high price for that persistent rebellion, and I need to learn from their story to be humble and aware of the danger of complacent self-assurance.

To have faith in God, is to make no distinction between hearing and obeying, and we are thankful that it is God’s gift which enables us to respond to him in this way. Apart from his grace, we are bound in a deafness which amounts to fatal rebellion against our maker and redeemer.

In Jesus, we see that perfect listening obedience which enabled him to do all that God entrusted to him, to speak God’s words and to proclaim the coming of the kingdom with such power. In Jesus, we see one who heard and trusted, whose unique understanding of God’s will bore fruit for our salvation. He is our constant companion and our good shepherd; he always knows God’s will, and can carry it to completion. We can therefore walk in confidence with him, knowing that he fully hears and understands the Father’s will and we can trust him always, whether we understand or not.

It is the Father’s will and gift that we should hear and obey him in faith; it is our good Shepherd’s voice which comforts us along the way and restores us when we have become weary or gone astray; it is the Spirit who quickens us to listen with our full attention, desiring only to discern God speaking that we might delight him in our obedience.

Heavenly Father, quicken my spirit to concentrate fully on you as you speak to me through your word. Let me hear you clearly, let hearing be obedience, submission, loyal love and trust. Let the likeness of Christ be seen more and more in my readiness to put your words into practice, and give you all the glory in my life.

Finding the right words…

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By your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path.. Everything’s falling apart on me, God; put me together again with your word.. You’re my place of quiet retreat; I wait for your word to renew me…. Every word you give me is a miracle word – how could I help but obey?

Break open your words, let the light shine out, let ordinary people see the meaning.. steady my steps with your word of promise so nothing malign gets the better of me.

(Ps 119.105,107,129&130,133, the Message translation)

God put me to work from the day I was born. The moment I entered the world, he named me. He gave me speech that would cut and penetrate…..The Master, God, has given me a well-taught tongue, so I know how to encourage tired people… Who out there fears God, actually listens to the voice of his servant? For anyone out there who doesn’t know where you’re going, anyone groping in the dark, here’s what: Trust in God. Lean on your God!

(Isa 49. 1&2; 50.4&10, the Message translation)

Then Jesus gave the twelve their chance; “Do you also want to leave?” Peter replied, “Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, of eternal life….”

(Jn 6. 67&68)

I heard a loud voice behind me, trumpet-clear and piercing: “Write what you see into a book… ” I turned and saw the voice.. I saw a gold menorah with seven branches, and in the centre, the Son of Man, in a robe and gold breastplate, hair a blizzard of white, eyes pouring fire-blaze, both feet furnace-fired bronze, His voice a cataract, right hand holding the seven stars, his mouth a sharp-biting sword…. I saw this and fainted dead at his feet. His right hand pulled me upright, his voice reassured me..

(Rev 1:10-17, the Message translation)

Our words are so powerful, to wound or to heal; to discourage or to build up; to speak love or to spread hate. We are warned to beware of hasty speech, to guard our tongues from thoughtless utterances and to make sure that what we do say is kind, wholesome, constructive and God-honouring.. it is wonder that most of us dare to speak or write at all, and no surprise that we so often fail in courtesy, wisdom and gentleness, causing unnecessary pain and too often bringing our Lord into disrepute by our hasty words.

What a relief then to consider how different is our God; to read of the power of his words, of their purity and truth; to reflect that where we fail, he never does. The Saviour of the world, the coming King and Anointed one who comes to fulfill God’s purposes of redemption is perfect in speech, in finding the right words to accomplish all that he desires for us. He can comfort, strengthen, rebuke and command – all in the right way and at the right time!

He speaks the words of life, and he is the Word of Life – by whom all things were made at the direction of the Father. What a wonderful companion for our lives, and what a guide to introduce to our fellow travellers as the infallible and unfailing support for the journey. How marvellous that we, as mere creatures and specks in a vast universe, can know the maker and sustainer of all that is! Because our God speaks, we can know him.

I am so thankful for all those who have taught and encouraged me over the years to trust the word of God, to handle it responsibly and to grow in wisdom in understanding it. I am so thankful to have the bible in my own language, and to have so many resources to help me use it well – a privilege which so many still lack.

Heavenly Father, I praise you for the Living Word, for the Voice that speaks truth and love, that calls me to come into your presence with confidence and to be at rest there. 

Living Word, I rejoice to know you as my Lord and Saviour, to hear you find the right words to comfort and restore me, to find fresh strength and new wisdom as I hearken to you by your Spirit.

Holy Spirit, may the word in me bear fruit for the glory of the Lord and the building of his kingdom. Thoroughly work it into my thoughts and understanding, so that no part of me remains unchanged, unresponsive or dishonouring to him. Amen.

a prayer upon parting

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However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has give me – the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace… Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified.

(Acts 20.24&32)

Peace to the brothers and sister, and love with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with undying love.

(Eph 6.23, 24)

Now to him who is able to establish you in accordance with my gospel, the message I proclaim about Jesus Christ, in keeping with the revelation of the mystery hidden for long ages past, but now revealed and made known…by the command of the eternal God, so that all ..might come to the obedience that comes from faith – to the only wise God be glory for ever through Jesus Christ! Amen

(Rom 16.25-27)

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.

(1 Thess 5.16-24)

Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

(Heb 13.20&21)

And so it has come to farewell… the time has dragged, then raced, and all at once the day is here and we are at the parting of the ways. But how wonderful to know that as children of God, we never say goodbye for ever, only farewell, only ’till we meet again!’

It is a good, but humbling lesson, learning over again that other people do not depend upon us for their thriving in life. Our presence in this community has – we trust – been a blessing and a means by which God has worked to build his kingdom, to break down prejudices and to show his love to others. But once we are gone, that work will continue, and we hope it will grow and bear fruit in lives transformed and a growing church! We are entirely at the Lord’s command, and it is by his Spirit that the work is done; we give all the glory to him for the fruit which is produced and give thanks for the privilege of labouring in his name. We also confess to him the mistakes we have made, and pray that they will not hinder his work but prove an opportunity for grace to abound.

The apostle Paul knew all about saying goodbye to his fellow believers, to people with whom he had laboured and suffered, grieved and rejoiced. His prayers for those people are rich in inspiration for us as we have to commit one another to God and walk down different paths. They remind us of what really matters, and of where our true confidence and strength must lie – in Christ, through whom God has given us all things, by whom we now live, and who alone can meet all our needs in this life. It is God’s will that we might live to glorify him and serve him, so surely we can trust him to make this possible, no matter what our circumstances may be?!

We each have a choice when God asks us to let go of a precious gift – either to release it with thankfulness for all that it brought and a prayer that we might have grace to do without it; or to resent God’s command, to let bitterness and self-pity have their way with us and blind us to God’s love, to the possibility of new gifts which are different, and to the reality of his command to trust him in all things to do what is good and right.

Heavenly Father, I worship you today and confess again your sovereignty. All that I have is of you, to give or to take away according to your good purposes in my life and those of others. I thank you for all the joy which this place and community have brought me over these seven years, and pray that I will release the gift back to you with a humble and hopeful spirit. May your work here be strengthened as your people depend on you and step out in faith; may the memory of our time together be an encouragement not a source of regret. May I step out in faith to the future you have assuredly prepared for me, although I do not yet know what it is. Keep my loss free from the infection of bitterness and self-pity; keep me thankful, humble and hopeful, and above all keep me faithfully loving to you, through our Lord Jesus, in whose name all your children are saved. Amen.

Made for beauty, made for belonging..

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God saw all that he had made, and it was very good, and there was evening, and there was morning – the sixth day.

(Gen 1. 31)

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.

(Ps 19.1-4)

I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips… I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears… Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

(Ps 34.1,4&8)

Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord from the heavens; praise him in the heights above. Praise him, all his angels; praise him, all his heavenly hosts. Praise him, sun and moon; praise him, all you shining stars. Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for at his command they were created, and he established them for ever and ever – he issued a decree that will never pass away.

(Ps 148.1-7)

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men’s hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

(Ecc 3.11, Amplified Bible)

For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.

(Heb 13.14)

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away…..”Look! God’s dwelling-place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them..

(Rev 21.1&3)

Home… what does that word mean to you? I expect that a great deal depends on your experience of life in terms of family, settled living, security and health. I have been thankful to live under law and order; to know health and a nurturing family and community; to have reason to hope for security in worldly means. I have good reason to respond strongly and positively to the word ‘home’. 

The place where we have lived for these last 7 years has become home to me – a community where I am loved and useful; a place of such astonishing beauty that my spirit is continually overwhelmed; a settled and powerful sense of belonging and identity. I am deeply thankful for these good gifts…. and therefore deeply grieved at the prospect of leaving them behind.

As I wrestle with this prospect of loss, I resist self-pity, which achieves nothing except to divert me from thankful dependence on God and bind me in bitterness and resentment. I choose thankfulness, I choose praise, I choose to delight up to the last moment in this place. I choose to face each day with eyes wide open, a heart eager to receive and respond to the love-gifts of my Father.

When I am gone, the beauty will remain – undiminished by my departure, and awaiting my return. I may never again call it home, identifying myself with this beloved place, but it has played a huge part in my life and I will give thanks and be glad for that. The Lord has given me such joy here – and surely his power to do so will be unaltered by his removal of me to another place of his choosing?!

Golden barley ripened fields; dark green forest-bristling hills; purple heather-hued slopes; brilliant velvet-cropped fields; statuesque trees amid emerald pastures; blue skies with mountainous backlit clouds, silver grey and pearl; burns tumbling brown and foamy down rocky slopes; lochs like sheet mirrors; broad streams like silver ribbons..

All these words are a feeble attempt to capture the beauty, but my response in exultant worship is beyond description. This land is my home, my place and though I leave it for a season, I believe that one day, in the new creation, I will see it again – transformed. No longer a shadowy image of true beauty as it exists in the Creator’s mind, but the real thing – the lasting, eternal thing, where I will truly be at home for ever and all that is beloved here and now will be more real, more beautiful, more wonderful than I can imagine.

 Thank you Father, that you made me able to respond to beauty, and also to long to be at home. Thank you, that one day I will live with you in the beauty of which this world is merely a suggestion. Thank you that one day, I will know that for which my heart longs – I am made for belonging, made for beauty, made to live with you in perfect love in the place you designed for me to thrive and to delight. Keep me faithful until I see it, keep me obedient, trusting and loving. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

(the author acknowledges her debt to CS Lewis for much of the imagery and thinking of this piece)

A fresh air blowing…

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Faith opens all the windows to God’s wind….

(G Macdonald – 1824-1905: Diary of an Old Soul)

Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

(Gen 2.7)

I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said,  “O Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!… I will make breath enter you and you will come to life… Then you will know that I am the Lord.'”

“This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.'” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet..

(Ezek 37. 3-6,9&10)

“Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

(Jn 3.6-8)

The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else… God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’

(Acts 17.24-28)

As I sit to write today, the windows are open all over the house, and there is a steady sound of wind and sea blowing in, it makes my heart dance to hear it and to smell the fresh air wherever I go. We instinctively know that it is not good for us to live in sealed boxes, that we need air and the refreshing power of wind to invigorate our senses.

The wind itself gives us a powerful picture of God’s spirit at work in the world; Jesus’ words point out that we cannot see either one, and yet we clearly see their impact as they pass! I believe that ever since I was first able to acknowledge Jesus as Lord of my life, this Spirit has been a constant presence, a power of transformation as God makes me new and more Christ-like day by day. I also believe that I can and should reflect on the work of the Spirit – in the way that we go from room to room in our houses and decide where the air is stale and where there is danger of mould setting in!

The breath of life is God at work to make dead bones live, to bring humanity out of the sin-death in which it is bound and to revive it for a glorious future in the new creation. The breath of life is also God at work in his children, like a diligent housekeeper, seeking those places where transformation is yet to be realised, those rooms which have been closed against Him thus far, or where the dust has been allowed to accumulate and the air to grow stale.

Bear with me, the picture is a little flippant, but the point is valid… as I reflect on my life, I ask the Lord to show me where I am resisting the work of that Spirit of life and transformation; I ask to recognise those things which I am keeping out of his reach, in case I should be asked to do something about them!

I ask the Lord to show me those things which are lurking like mouldy newspapers, in a corner of my life, so much rubbish but also potentially dangerous to my faith if I neglect to deal with them.

I ask the Lord to breathe transforming power into my vision of him, so that as I see the love, power and beauty of Christ, my courage is renewed, my hope strengthened, and my desire to serve him revived, so that I cannot rest until I am active in sharing the gospel.

 O Lord Jesus, let me throw the windows wide. Blow through me with life and vigour and stir me up to fresh zeal and eagerness to serve you and glorify you and to delight in you. Breath of life itself, permeate all my inner chambers and fill them with the clean and wholesome airs of your truth, power and faithfulness. Make my house sing!

Bearing the maker’s mark

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I will cleanse you from all your impurities… I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees…

(Ezek 36.25-27)

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

..if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!.. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

(2Cor 3.18, 4.17&21)

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness..

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

(Eph 4.1-3,22-24,30-5.2)

We are accustomed to the idea of an artist signing their work, indicating pride of workmanship, and also origin; we know that hallmarked silver tells us about the quality of the metal and authenticates the genuine nature of the material. In the same way, we can think about believers being ‘sealed’ by the Holy Spirit, being marked by God in some distinctive way which has consequences for us.

The bible tells us that God makes people new when they come to faith in Jesus; in Ezekiel it is described as receiving a new heart, a disposition to respond in loving delight to God, and to obey all that he asks of us. Paul talks about a new creation, a person who is right with God and no longer under condemnation, because by faith they have received the forgiveness which Jesus achieved for them and they now live in communion with God and enter his presence with confidence, fearing nothing but to grieve their heavenly father.

The Holy Spirit is the authentication, the increasingly visible sign of that transformation taking effect in our lives. We live by faith in Jesus, whose spirit lives in us to move us towards ever greater likeness to Jesus, as our thinking changes according to God’s word and our actions flow from love for God and one another. It is helpful to remember that a hallmark is a sign of authenticity, that it tells a person about the quality of the material, the origin of the workmanship. The lives of believers need increasingly to conform to what our hallmark says is true about us, which is not merely a matter of a set of private theories of religion, but a personal relationship with the author of creation, our maker, and the one who has dealt with our sin forever.

Does my life speak of a love beyond all others, a love which compels me to bring all I do to the bar of Christ’s approval? Do my choices and actions speak of a loyalty beyond question to my Saviour, and an awareness that I bear his glorious name in this dark world as an ambassador for his love and as an invitation to come and meet him? I am aware that I fall short of this ideal, but nonetheless strive and pray towards it, so that I may not bear my Lord’s mark in vain but rather in fruitfulness and honour towards him.

I bear the hallmark of Christ; I am authenticated as a child of God. Let me therefore live to be worthy of his mark – it is my new nature and purpose to live in kindness, to love and seek the good of others for their blessing and his glory. It is my calling to grow up in my thinking to maturity, and the adherence to truth which will keep me faithful in my life and witness. Let me be of the true metal, bearing witness to the power of my maker and fulfilling the purposes for which he has made me new. So be it Lord Jesus, by your power and presence within me, Amen.

A lasting impression…

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Let my song of prayer come before You, Lord. As befits Your word, give me insight.

Let my supplication come before You, as befits Your utterance, save me.

Let my lips utter praise, for You taught me Your statutes.

Let my tongue speak out Your utterance, for all Your commands are just.

May Your hand become my help, for Your decrees I have chosen.

I desired Your rescue, O Lord, and Your teaching is my delight.

Let my being live on and praise You, and may Your laws help me.

I have wandered like a lost sheep. Seek Your servant, for Your commands I did not forget.

(Ps 119.169-176, R Alter translation)

John pointed [Jesus] out and called, “This is the One! The One I told you was coming after me but in fact was ahead of me…. Here he is, God’s Passover lamb! He forgives the sins of the world!… my task has been to get Israel ready to recognise him as the God-revealer… I’m telling you, there’s no question about it: This is the Son of God.”

(Jn 1.15,29&34, the Message)

In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade. Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance. Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognised by those on the way of salvation – an aroma redolent with life. But those on the way to destruction treat us more like the stench from a rotting corpse.

(2 Cor.2.14-16, the Message)

Will I trust God to do what he has promised? That is a question which lies behind so many of the challenges which I struggle with in life, because I want to see and know what he is doing, what he will do, and that is not faith  but doubt and unbelief… The apostle Paul writes to assure the young church that since God gave us his only son in order to save us, we can surely not doubt that our welfare matters to him, and that all else that we could need will be supplied in the right way and the right time. And faith is the assurance of those things hoped for, the lived-out conviction that what God says, is true, is a foundation on which to build and depend.

So, as I am tempted to look at my situation and to despair, seeing little evidence of having done anything useful in God’s service, I take myself to task and preach this gospel truth to myself again.. It is for me to obey, to love and serve the Lord as he gives me strength, ability and opportunity. It is for God to bring fruit from my labours, in whatever time and manner is according to his perfect will for each individual involved and also within his eternal and glorious plan for a new creation and a fully realised kingdom. It is not for me to evaluate my performance, but rather to keep offering up what he gives me to do and to know that I am loved not because I obey, but rather I obey because I am loved. Let my awareness of that love grow, so that my faith-filled and trusting obedience can also grow and become steadier, more consistent and glorifying to the one in whose word I trust.

Let me become like John the baptiser, whose joy it was to point others to the Christ, and to deflect their attention from himself to the source of hope and light for all humanity. Let me trust that as I obey the Lord in the places to which he takes me season by season, through all the various experiences and communities which make up my small life, in obedience, I may be useful to my God and not be a barrier to the gospel. Let me be content, as John was, to fulfill my task and not to envy the jobs of others, nor to be ashamed of the lowliness of my particular service in the kingdom.

Lord God, let me be a sweet aroma of Christ in going about my community, let me leave an impression of love and hope which makes others want to find the source of all love and hope. Let my impact on the lives of others be for their blessing and your glory – I do not need to see it to give thanks that with you even such things are possible, and I can rejoice to be a means of blessing in your hands.

Let there be no doubt that it is Christ who matters, and that all is done in and through and for him, and that He is Lord of my life. As I leave these people behind, I know that you will use their impression of Christ as I pointed them to him, and I am content. Amen, so let it be.

I believe..

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‘But what about you?’ Jesus asked, ‘Who do you say I am?’ Simon Peter answered, ‘You are the Messiah, the son of the living God.’ Jesus replied, ‘Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.’

(Matt 16.15-18)

At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations….keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.

But understand this: if the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch.. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants of his household..? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns..

(Matt 2410-14, 42-46)

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created.. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, buy making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

(Col 1.15-20)

I believe that this world, and the universe which holds it, is the handiwork of God, who has revealed himself to the people he made and longs to live harmony with them. I believe that it is only as we accept that revelation, and make God’s truth the basis of our lives, that we can truly live, and enter into the promises which he makes for us.

I believe that God is building his kingdom community even now, that all around the world, people are coming alive as his children every day, and joining that family which calls Jesus Saviour and Lord. I believe that kingdom can be seen, as God’s children live out their love for him in actions of compassion, sacrifice and service; as they put their gifts to work for the sake of his family and to invite others to join the kingdom.

I believe that God will complete this work, regardless of all that human arrogance, pride, skill and wisdom can do to destroy the credibility of his revelation, and that one day I will rest in the glory of a new-made creation, in a resurrection body, and be at home.

As I contemplate the state of the ‘church’ in Scotland today, I still believe these things and I grieve for our nation in its deliberate and determined rejection of the gospel. I grieve that our churches as individual witnessing communities are apparently failing to have any impact on that spiritual darkness. I grieve for my own part in that failure, confessing my cowardice, my pride and fear of giving offence, of being hurt and of failing in my efforts. I grieve for our own particular denomination, where dying churches are being bound onto living ones, in a vain attempt to ‘cover the ground’, and thus crippling those who have the energy and vision to make disciples by requiring them to spend themselves in propping up something which seems to be pointless.

Lord, have mercy! Is this how your servants should be spending these days as we long for your coming? Is this the best use of the vision and courage, the strength and resources which yet remain to us? How can it be right to devote ourselves to pleasing those who won’t change, so that they feel comfortable, when there are so many who need to hear the gospel? What will this process do to the faithful servants who remain? At what cost will this institution be preserved?

I believe that you are building your church around the world today Lord, and I long to see your name glorified in this land. We, your people, deserve judgement, and we need to be purified, revived in zeal, courage and vision. Do not cut us off altogether, but have mercy on your faithful saints and show us your power at work, to build your church in our communities and glorify you through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

30 years is but a moment in time…

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Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. .. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!

People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. they feast in the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

(Ps 36.5-9)

Praise the Lord!

Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in their houses, and their righteousness endures for ever. 

Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely, who conduct their affairs with justice.

Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered for ever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. they have freely scattered their gifts to the poor, their righteousness endures for ever; their horn will be lifted high in honour…

(Ps 112.1-9)

This weekend brings the 30th anniversary of the day when I promised to love and cherish my husband till death should part us… I have been married more than half my life, and hold this relationship to be one of God’s most precious gifts to me, in awe of the privilege of sharing life with one person, committing to faithfulness, forgiveness, patience and generosity every moment of every day for the rest of our lives together.

In the days before we married, I had some bad times of doubt, fearful of my untrustworthy feelings, and God in his mercy gave me this assurance… I knew, beyond all shadow of doubt, that I wanted to be good for this man, to see him thrive. If being married to me was part of that thriving, then I wanted to be married! That assurance has never left me, and how I thank God for it. No two marriages are the same, and I have no list of essential good habits, nor of ‘must-avoid’ mistakes, I only have faith that God who decided that marriage is a good idea, who brought us together, who keeps us together, and who has in his grace chosen to bless others through us over the years, will continue to do so as we grow older together.

As we each serve and worship God, putting him first in our lives, and sharing that priority, everything else falls into place and we depend only on him to meet our deepest needs, to be the perfect partner and Lord of our lives. No human being can always get it right, and what comfort it is to know that it is not my job to be ‘the perfect wife’! My task is to love God, and then to love others, my husband first, and to love him as Christ loved me – joyfully, sacrificially, faithfully, patiently, with understanding, grace, forgiveness and humility. It is my privilege to demonstrate Christ’s unconditional love to this human being every day. And how often I fail… But thanks be to God, who helps my husband to forgive me, and helps us both to find the will to go forward together in faith.

Thirty years… it seems barely possible, and yet the lines on my face tell me that those years have indeed passed. The children who were gifted to us are grown, and a grandchild is expected soon. We are becoming older, and please God, will do so with grace, growing in wisdom and contentment, happy that God’s faithfulness is the basis of our lives, and the theme song of our marriage.

Many do not get thirty years; some are never gifted with marriage but rather with a single life, and others experience great grief at the hands of the person whom they trusted above all others… I do not take this gift for granted, I do not elevate it as somehow superior to a single life, and pray that I may never abuse the trust which my husband puts in me, nor take advantage of his vulnerability to me. How does Christ love us? In a selfless, relentless, dependable way.. He always seeks our good, even through hard trials. Let me continue to learn what love looks like in this season of life; I don’t know how many more years I will have, nor what they will bring, but I pray God might be the one who is glorified and honoured by this marriage, as he helps me to be good for my husband.