Author Archives: eps992014

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About eps992014

a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a mother, wife, sometime runner, singer, gardener, and proud Scot

On blessing..

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A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

(Prov 11.25)

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

(Lk 6.37-38)

What is the most personal and unique in each one of us is probably the very element which would, if it were shared or expressed, speak most deeply to others..

(Henri Nouwen, the Wounded Healer,1972)

And so, a new year is upon us and the calendar reminds us that our days are indeed numbered – but how thankful I am that only my Lord knows how many yet remain to me! What shall I do with what I have this year? What is my attitude to my resources, gifts, opportunities, weakness and suffering?

The bible teaches us that God has given gifts to his church in order that we might meet one another’s needs and also minister and witness to those who do not yet believe – in other words, I am God’s channel of blessing to others, and this is true even if I consider myself to have little to offer. It is the attitude of the heart which makes me fruitful as God’s agent of love, and I don’t need to worry about what I offer, since my God is the water-into-wine; bread-and-fish-multiplying miracle worker!

It is because of God’s abundant love for me that I can choose to love others abundantly – I need not fear, but trust that my need for assurance, acceptance and security are all more than met in Jesus Christ. Love may be made manifest in the gift of time and quiet presence; or in active service of others, giving our time and strength to make things happen. Love may be manifest in affording others the privilege of serving me – for my need is their opportunity to experience the blessing of abundant giving! This can be hard for our pride, but is surely a foundation and necessity for the building of true community – if pride keeps me from letting others know my needs and weakness, then I am not part of the body.

God asks me to bring all that I am and that He has given me – and this includes my weakness, my wounds, my burdens. When I trust God enough to believe that His grace works ALL things together for the good of his children, then I can offer up the darkness, the weariness, the pain, and worship him by saying, ‘Lord, this is all I have today, use it, be glorified in me through it, and bless others through it too!’ I can testify to the reality that such sacrifices do bring blessing – over the years I have shared in this blog about things which are sore and hard; and time and again I have received the consolation of others, and also the priceless blessing of hearing that my struggles have encouraged them in their own difficult situations.

As believers, we are in our Father’s business of being a blessing – through us, he sends love-in-action into a world in need, and into a growing kingdom of hearts submitted to him as Lord. This is not intended as a burden, but a joy-birthing purpose which will encompass all of our lives, in every season and situation. The prayer with which we can start each day is, ‘Lord, show me as I go about my duties, where you are calling me to love; and show me what love looks like in that situation.’ I can face my ageing with this confidence – I can always, always know that the Lord can bless others through me!

Heavenly Father, I rejoice at the beginning of this new year to know that you are unchanging, and your love is faithful and true. I rest today in the abundance of your goodness towards me, in Jesus Christ, and in the freedom which your grace has given me to be your means of blessing to others.

Let me walk with you into the new year, with all its opportunities, and with all the trials and joys which only you know will come to me. As I go with you, I can walk steadily, looking always for opportunities to bless and to share your goodness to me. Deliver me from false pride which disdains the service of others to my needs, and keep me humbly rejoicing in the priceless privilege of serving my Saviour with all that I am. For his glorious name’s sake I pray, Amen.

Set free to accept grace

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And finally, I let myself rest:

Fully,

Heavily,

Weak with relief.

I felt the strength of the encircling arms.

I sensed the steady-beating heart against which I was held.

His breath was warm on my face as He said to me,

“Darling girl, it is enough that you are and that I love you. Be at rest now, and let my love work healing and hope.”

(image: the Prodigal Daughter, Charlie Mackesy: St Ouen’s Parish Church, Jersey)

This image, shared with me at a recent retreat event, is what I want to finish on in 2025. I want to testify to the grace of my loving Father, an abundance of loving acceptance which has – over these past months, and through much pain – finally brought me to a place where I can truly accept His grace, and can fully rest in His love.

Much remains to be learnt, and I continue to be overwhelmed by His patience and gentleness with me, his forgetful child. But, I think that I have finally come home, where I belong, and a major battle is now behind me. I rest in a deeper way than ever before, and I am steadier and less vulnerable to outside influences which might cause me to stumble into despair and fear.

I am SO grateful, for all the ways that my Father has brought me to this place – through scripture, through wise counsel, through reading, and listening to sermons (one dating back over 100 years!). So many different prompts and aids, and all orchestrated by the Spirit to bring me here, where truth which I have known all my life has finally become lived and not merely learnt. Such transformation comes only by God’s power, and I am so thankful for this answer to the prayer of my despair.

It is my prayer for all my brothers and sisters in faith, and even more for all God’s children who still do not know how much they are loved and longed for, who are searching in so many other places for the peace which is found only in His arms; my prayer is that we might know this peace, the foundation of life itself, and of greater worth than anything this world can offer.

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust…. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame…. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour and my hope is in you all day long.

(Ps 25, extract)

On being afraid…. 4

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Joseph went up .. to Bethlehem… to register with Mary.. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son… and there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David, a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them… The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

(Lk 2.1-20, extracts)

We really know very little about the appearance of God’s angelic messengers – but it must have been something way out of the ordinary, since everyone who sees them is scared stiff! And in today’s reading, there is not just one, but a ‘great company’ of angels – those poor flat-out-terrified shepherds! Do you think that only one had been sent, but the rest couldn’t resist joining in the announcement? This news, this birth was the biggest thing since creation, and it is only reasonable to expect a degree of anticipation, wonder and celebration in the heavenly realms, on the safe delivery of the incarnate son of God to Mary and Joseph. I love the idea that the dignified announcement of the single angel was suddenly hijacked by all the others who were just so full of praise for God that they had to let it out..

Clearly, the shepherds were not so overwhelmed by fear that they could no longer think straight, and there was no hesitation or doubt in their minds as they set off to see for themselves what had happened – how true to life that is, we always want the evidence of our own eyes, and the angel had given them a clue to help them find the right child (were many babies being born in Bethlehem that night?!). Can you picture the little town that night, being disrupted by a bunch of shepherds knocking on doors and asking about new babies – how people must have wondered what they were doing? They were meant to be out with the sheep after all! There is a definite element of the comic and ridiculous in this wonderfully human tale…

And finally, they come to the right house, the one where the baby is lying, wrapped in the swaddling of a new-born, safe in the stone manger. And there they worship, praising God and sharing with the astonished parents what has just happened to them on the hill. All at once, Mary’s secret knowledge, the truth disclosed to Joseph and revealed to Elizabeth has become public property. These men are calling Jesus, “Saviour”, and “Christ” which means anointed one – the promised Messiah. And not only did they share with Mary and Joseph, but everyone else whom they had roused in the town by their search!  Bethlehem that night was not a particularly silent place, in spite of what our carols suggest…

Do you notice the repetition of particular words, ‘glorifying and praising God’?  This had been what the angels were doing when they filled the skies with light and thundered the good news; it is what the shepherds did after they had seen the baby for themselves. And it is what happens time and time again in the gospel stories and through the history of the church, as people see God’s power at work and respond to him.

Heavenly Father, help me I pray, to recognise your hand at work; help me in this season to recognise afresh the magnitude of your purpose in sending Jesus to become human and to be our Saviour.

Let the depth of love revealed by his incarnation bring me to glorify and praise you more and more. Let me not be unmoved by the mystery of God-made-man, but prompted to share in the gladness and rejoicing of the shepherds as they saw and witnessed to the truth.

Let me make a joyful noise, so that all those around me know that something wonderful has happened!! In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen.

On being afraid…. 3

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This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. 

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

(Matt 1.18-24)

“Is that wise?” Those words are an invitation to think again, to weigh the pros and cons of a choice of action, and sometimes they carry a heavy weight of judgement – the unspoken words being – “I personally think it’s crazy!!”

As human beings, designed by God to live in community and relationship, it is impossible for us to ignore the voices of those around, and especially of those with whom we live closely and whose opinions matter to us very much. That is a divine providence which can help us to avoid hasty and rash actions; it reminds us that there are consequences for other people arising from our choices; and it is an expression of love. We do well to pay attention to those human voices, to that love-in-action which is our community counterweight to folly and risk. But, and there is always a ‘but’ in the experience of fallen humanity, ultimately as believers, we need to make our choices based on God’s will for us, revealed in scripture and mediated by his Spirit to our spirits.

Human love is never perfect, and therefore human advice will always be rather less than ideal! God’s love for us, his children, is perfect and unfathomable, and ultimately therefore more trustworthy than any human affections. In addition, humanity cannot discern the full and glorious breadth and depth of God’s purposes, which means that even the most well-meaning and godly advice may fall short in keeping us in the centre of God’s will!

I think this was the case for Joseph, betrothed to Mary and deeply conflicted over what to do when he discovers her pregnancy. Humanly speaking, he is absolutely right to plan as he does – the quietest possible undoing of the marital bond (betrothal was virtually equivalent to marriage at that time). And we feel great sympathy for his plight! He listens to the cultural voices around him, intent on preserving his good name, and the  integrity of his family line… and we can surely forgive him for boggling at the very idea of Mary’s pregnancy being by the Spirit of God; there were no historical precedents for that!

And into that fog of conflicting feelings, of disappointment, suspicion, fear and grief, comes a clear word from God, “Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife”. The angelic visitor addresses Joseph as a son of David – the royal line of God’s people, from whom Messiah was foretold to come – and assures him that this incredible story is true, Mary is not lying to him, and most importantly, that the child to be born is that same Messiah. There is no promise that the condemning, disappointed or mocking voices of his culture will be silenced if he obeys, only the instruction itself.

We are not told whether Joseph spent the rest of that astonishing night wrestling in prayer, or whether he simply woke up in the morning and knew what he must do. Either way, he gives us a beautiful example of a servant of God who chose to listen first to the divine command, the voice of truth, and to trust that the improbable, the unpopular, the ‘unwise’ course was the right one, because it was God’s course for him, and now, for Mary too.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for the way that you met Joseph in his humanity and weakness, and did not condemn him, but assured him that it was possible to do the right thing, to step into his unique part in your purposes for the world and to dare the fearful onslaught of gossip, speculation, mockery and criticism which his actions would entail.

Help me in turn, Lord, to recognise your voice and to trust it. Help me to overcome fear of what others will say or think about me; help me to be willing to be a fool for Christ if you command it, so that your kingdom might be built, even through me. Help me to feel the fear, and do the right thing anyway! Thank you that you will always be with me to enable, to sustain and to keep me, and that nothing which is said by anyone else can undo the truth which you have said over me – I am loved, I am raised with Christ, and I will share the life of the age to come with you and all your people. Halleluia, Amen!

On being afraid ….. 2

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In the sixth month God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. the angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.”

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favour with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High….. The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you, so the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”

(Lk 1.26-38)

I have a vivid memory of the day when we discovered that I was pregnant with our first child – something we both wanted very much, and rejoiced over. There was at the same time a profound awareness that life had suddenly changed, and that nothing would ever be the same again – one does not ‘get over’ having a baby, in the way that one recovers from a bad cold, or a broken collar bone! In the midst of our rejoicing, there was an element of sadness for the uncomplicated life we were about to lose, and an element of fear for what might lie ahead.

To enter into a marriage, to become a parent, is a life-changing process and one which we enter without much of a clue how it might work out! Mary is presented with God’s message that she is to become the mother of the son of the Most High, to bear a child by the Holy Spirit – it is incomprehensible to us, and to her must have been quite overwhelming. God did not unpack all the details, or outline the consequences for her, but only the mystery of who this child would be – and that was enough for Mary. Perhaps there was a special grace given to her that day, so that she did not panic at the scale of the task appointed to her, but after wondering at its seeming impossibility, she quietly accepts the burden of blessing which is to be hers.

Mary’s beautiful song of praise, recorded later in Luke’s gospel, demonstrates her deep grasp of God’s purposes in history, of the promise of salvation, of the covenant love which shapes and directs the Almighty. She knew that there was a promised deliverer to come, and so although she must have been surprised to be chosen, yet she could see how God was inviting her to step into his purposes, not only for Israel but for all the world.

Mary takes the first step; she says, “Yes”, facing the future as she could only dimly perceive it that day and trusting God who has called her. In future years, she will continue to say, “Yes”; mothering her family, serving her community, and finally following her son to his death in Jerusalem. She cannot see that day now; she cannot know the extent to which her heart will be riven and wracked, only to be flooded with joy and hope at the resurrection. But she steps into obedience, and into believing that the God who called, will also provide what she will need for each and every circumstance arising out of that obedience.

Will I say ,”yes”, to the next step in my path of obedience? I may not be called to anything very dramatic or public, but just like Mary, and every other follower of Jesus, I am called to step into God’s plans, by faith and in trust. I cannot know the consequences of my obedience, nor the trials that may lie ahead of me, but I can follow Mary’s example of acceptance and perseverance.

Heavenly Father, Mary shows me what it means to trust and obey; to be aware of my limitations and weakness and yet set those aside because it is you who calls me, and with you, nothing is impossible. 

Let me then, like Mary, accept your directing and leading, and trust you with the consequences of my obedience. Keep me from fear of the unknown, fear of future trials, fear of my own inadequacy. I would choose not to be afraid, but to say, “yes, Lord, I will as you will; I follow where you lead; I receive from you what I need and look to you to do the impossible, even through me.”

For the glory, and in the name, of my precious Jesus, I pray, Amen.

On being afraid…1

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In the time of Herod.. there was a priest named Zechariah.. he and his wife Elizabeth were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly. But they had no children.. and they were both well on in years.

Once when Zechariah’s division was on duty and he was serving as priest before God, he was chosen by lot.. to go into the temple of the Lord and burn incense.. Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar.. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord.. Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on .. to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

(Lk 1.5-17, extract)

Is there something that you have been praying about for many years? An abiding ache that just won’t go away, and which over and over again brings you before the Lord in hope and also submission to his will… Many of us will have burdens which, like Zechariah and Elizabeth’s natural desire for a son, have remained heavy upon us. Perhaps, also like them, you have known God’s grace enabling you to bear that burden, hour by hour and day by day, even year by year. Have you ever thought that in that process of regularly coming before the Lord with your wound, your need and desire, you are putting yourself right at the throne of grace and mercy? This position of humble submission and petition before the Almighty is just the right place, the place where we are leaning completely on his promises, his power and his goodness, and laying our own desires in surrender before him, to do as he sees fit.

It is in that growing relationship – the long process of time lived with unanswered prayer which we keep on bringing to God in faith – that we are being shaped by God’s spirit. That very burden which weighs so heavily upon us, is the means by which God is working to create in us the glory of Christ-likeness, as we return again and again in trust and dependence to him. I can speak personally to the truth of this lesson; for many years, it seemed I was praying the same thing over and over again – and that’s the whole point, I was praying!! For many years, it seemed the answer was not resolution of the problem, but abundant and fresh anointings of grace – which I was able to receive because I was sitting at the throne of grace and mercy begging for help.. I learnt so much about prayer, and I believe that those years have seen a real work of God in shaping my thinking and deepening faith.

We can picture Zechariah, faithfully fulfilling his duties, probably not expecting anything out of the ordinary, but prayerful and conscious of the privilege of serving in the temple at this time. And then, suddenly the extraordinary, the outrageous happens, and he is confronted by a divine being, a terrifying outbreak of glory into his normality, one bringing the utterly unexpected word of an answer to years of prayer and surrender.

Is it not beautiful, how the Lord’s messenger immediately and tenderly speaks to reassure this mature and yet terrified man? In all his dealings with us, these words are perhaps a constant undercurrent – ‘do not be afraid’, and why not? Because the one who speaks is the one who knows and loves us, and who has plans to bless and make us fit for glory; who will be with us and keep us through every circumstance until he takes us home. Whether that blessing and sustaining comes through years of living with unanswered prayers; or through miraculous provision and fulfillment of our petitions, yet still we can face the future without fear. We are loved; we are accepted; we are heard and seen with all our unique qualities – and our Almighty God IS working in and through us to build his kingdom and bring glory to his name.

These are words from the prayer of Zechariah, after the miraculous child, John, was born; we can make them ours today as we rejoice with him in our good, faithful, fear-quenching God.

Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and has redeemed his people. He has raised up a horn of salvation for us.. salvation from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us.. to rescue us… and to enable us to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness before him all our days!

Free indeed….

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For if the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a young cow, ….. sanctify for the purification of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, cleanse our consciences from dead works so that we can serve the living God?

For Christ did not enter a sanctuary made with hands.. but into heaven itself, so that he might now appear in the presence of God for us. He did not do this to offer himself many times, as the high priest enters the sanctuary yearly with the blood of another. Otherwise he would have had to suffer many times since the foundation of the world. But now he has appeared one time, at the end of the ages, for the removal of sin by the sacrifice of himself.

(Heb 9.13&14, 24&25)

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes; first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”

(Rom 1.16&17)

It is hard to explain the liberation which comes to a believer as they grow into an ever fuller understanding of what the gospel has actually achieved for them. For some people, there may be dramatic deliverances from addictions or burdens; for others, the changes will be gradual and almost imperceptible.. but all of us can look back with profound thanksgiving and say with John Newton, “I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be and by the grace of God I am what I am.” (quoted in The Christian Spectator, vol 3, 1821).

The foundation and motive power of this change is Jesus Christ, our Saviour, Redeemer, and great High Priest. It is as the work of Christ in all its multifaceted beauty is worked into our lives by the indwelling of the Spirit that we see change happening. The gospel has the power to overturn all our prejudices; to break down all our barriers; to pour the cleansing flood of forgiveness and love through all our fractured relationships and transform every aspect of our lives. As we catch glimpses of this power at work – observing with wonder and joy how God is changing us deep within – we are further motivated to cling closer, to ask for deeper healing and enabling, to trust and act more boldly in Jesus’ name.

The once-for-all-ness of Jesus’ sacrifice is particularly powerful to me at this time, as I am learning to live free from the power of shame and guilt. This is what Jesus died to do for me – to deliver me from these twin slave-masters who will render believers powerless to love and live for Christ if they get a chance. But because Jesus’ death was a sufficient once-for-all sacrifice, breaking the power of sin (and guilt and death) over me, then I need not be ashamed anymore of sin when it happens. My Lord delights to remind me, whenever I present myself stained and bruised from another bout with the remnant of sin, that he has paid the price and that I do him honour when I come needing his cleansing, encouraging and the embrace of love to set me back on the path of joyful obedience.

His patience with me will never run out; I need never fear that I have been ‘too much’ for the divine temper – even just writing this makes it clear what a ridiculous notion that is. And yet, for how many years has that twisted notion been simmering away in the background of my mind? How many times have I ended up mired in doubt, wallowing in self-pity and needless gloom, when my Lord is beseeching me to come close without fear and be comforted?

What good cause I have as a believer, to boast in Jesus and in the glorious work which God has done through him for all who will accept it! I want to be so proud of the gospel, of my Jesus, that there is no room for shame anymore. My need of the gospel is in itself another cause to glorify God – and not a cause for shame, but for rejoicing in the abundance of divine provision.

Heavenly Father, how marvellous it is to know the power of your redeeming love in Christ Jesus our Lord; to know it day by day as the very breath and power of life in me. How glorious to recognise the power of that gospel at work in my life, setting me free from guilt and shame so that I run to you in my every need, with the childlike confidence which comes from being loved and accepted absolutely.

O let my life continue to be shaped by your patient and loving care; let me be more and more preoccupied with the beauty and power of Jesus, more proud of my Saviour and eager to share him with those around me, so that shame and guilt never again exert any hold over my mind and heart. For his name’s sake, Amen.

Doing God’s will..

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“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work…”

(Jn 4.34)

“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified…. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be.”

(Jn 12.23-26)

Jesus took the twelve aside and told them, “We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. He will be delivered over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him and spit on him; they will flog him and kill him. On the third day he will rise again.

(Lk 18.31)

Therefore my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.

(1Cor 15.58)

Then they asked [Jesus], “What must we do to do the works that God requires? Jesus answered, “The work of God is this; to believe in the one he has sent.”

(Jn 6.28-29)

All four gospel narratives clearly reveal a man on a mission: Jesus knew from his early years that he had a particular task to fulfill, and when he finally embarked upon his earthly ministry, he spoke again and again of his ‘work’. We see that this work was to announce the kingdom of God, and ultimately to suffer, die and rise again in order to inaugurate that kingdom and defeat the evil power which until then had held all humankind in bondage.

Within this context however, we also see a man whose days appear to drift by with little structure, and who was continually responding to ‘interruptions’ and unforseen circumstances. How do we reconcile this with the idea of doing God’s work? Perhaps the answer lies in a different understanding of what it is to live for God in this world? Jesus knew exactly who he was, and why he was here. Jesus identity was secure and his purpose inflexible, and he knew that God would fulfill that purpose in his (God’s) good time. Within that overarching direction however, there was a sense of freedom and an expectation that each day would bring exactly what God planned across Jesus’ path. What looked to his disciples like unfortunate distractions and delays were met in Jesus with a peaceful, focussed attention – he believed that God was working in all the circumstances, and was ready to be used in any way that his Father ordained.

Is this not a liberating principle that we can also apply to our lives? As followers of Jesus, the Way, we look to his example and direction for our lives. We see that God has an overarching purpose for us – to believe in the one whom God has sent, that is, Jesus – and we trust that his power within is sufficient to enable us to do that until we are taken home and made new. Within that purpose, each of us has different callings at different seasons of life – a job, a family, a hobby which uses God’s gifting to us and celebrates his goodness – and in each of these, we must believe in Jesus. That is, we must live in those situations and activities as redeemed sinners, with an overflowing abundance of love to share in God’s name for people who need to hear it. ‘Belief’ which does not affect how we live is not belief, it is only a theory or casual notion which we can ignore when it suits us. If we claim to believe in the one whom God sent, and yet will not bear witness by our words and deeds, by the way we use our resources, and the choices we make, then we do not believe in the way Christ calls us to.

I am excited to think that my life as a believer is not a matter of rigid scheduling of ‘religious’ activities, but is a pattern woven by my Father according to his purposes, where he asks for my yielding, my desire to be attuned to his promptings, my availability to be ‘interrupted’ and to recognise in the smallest event some sign that God is at work and asking me to share it.

Heavenly Father, thank you that while you ask me to be prudent and to steward the hours and days, the strength and resources you give me, yet you also call me to hold all my schemes and plans lightly, recognising your authority over my life, and your place as the great weaver by whose skill your kingdom is being built and all things are working together for your plans. Today I release my life afresh into your keeping and for your directing. Let me meet what you send with the strength you will supply, and with glad confidence that you are working through all that comes. In the name of Jesus, who showed me what this looks like, Amen.

Praying in a broken world

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“Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws. We have not listened to your servants the prophets.. Lord, you are righteous, but this day we are covered with shame.. the Lord our God is righteous in everything he does; yet we have not obeyed him.

Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant. For your sake, Lord, look with favour on your desolate sanctuary. Give ear, our God, and hear; open your eyes and see.. We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy. Lord, listen! Lord, forgive! Lord, hear and act! For your sake, my God, do not delay, because your city and your people bear your Name.”

(Dan 9.4-7,14,17-19)

I was left alone, gazing at this great vision; I had no strength left, my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless. Then I heard him speaking, and as I listened to him, I fell into a deep sleep, my face to the ground. A hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. He said, “Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you.” And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling.
Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard.. While he was saying this to me, I bowed with my face toward the ground and was speechless. Then the one who looked like a man touched my lips, and I opened my mouth.. “I am overcome with anguish because of the vision my lord, and I feel very weak. How can I, your servant talk with you, my lord? My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe.”

Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. “Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,” he said. “Peace! Be strong now; be strong.” When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength.”

(Dan 10.8-12, 15-19)

I have greatly appreciated recent studies in the book of Daniel, the faithful-in-exile, who served pagan rulers with integrity and always maintained an intimate and obedient relationship with the Almighty God, the Lord of his people Israel. Daniel models so much for us in our own day and age, and even though in the later chapters the book is full of strange visions, yet we can still learn much from them. Above all, we learn that the books of history are open before our God, and nothing takes him by surprise. It is made clear that while this broken world endures, there will be human conflict, evil will continue to manifest itself in many ways and suffering will be widespread. And yet, over and over again, Daniel is shown the final unveiling and prevailing of the eternal kingdom of which he – and we as followers of Jesus – is a member. God wins, and as his precious children, we are already secure in that victory.

Daniel also models how we should be praying for ourselves and others according to God’s word and will; how in the midst of turmoil, we bring our concerns to the Almighty and ask him to do what he has promised – to reveal himself, to extend mercy to sinners through Jesus, to make a people for himself, and ultimately, to reveal his eternal glory. God’s people are called to pray God’s word; recognising God’s sovereignty and submitting with grace and trust to his will but also claiming his promises. We pray not out of our own righteousness, but because God IS always righteous, and can be depended upon in every situation to be good, holy, and true.

It is easy for us to enter into Daniel’s experience of overwhelming distress as we contemplate the mess of our world, and the judgement which humanity is bringing upon itself. Daniel’s visions often shattered him for prolonged periods of time, and it is wonderful to read of the compassion and strength which is extended by the divine messenger to this faithful but traumatised servant. Three times, words of encouragement, tenderness and compassion are spoken over him; three times, he is touched by the divine hand. This speaks deeply to me of my heavenly Father’s concern that the cosmic scale of this battle should not be something which I seek to enter or understand in my own strength. It is the Lord who is waging war against his enemy, a defeated but vengeful, vicious and utterly unscrupulous foe. I can be honest in sharing my fear, helplessness, confusion and distress – God’s compassionate response never fails, and I find peace as I recognise that the Almighty has all in his hand, including me!

Heavenly Father, thank you that you meet my distress with compassion and raise me up to stand in your presence as you speak words of encouragement, wisdom and direction. Thank you that the future of this world is in your hands, and that my task is to follow Daniel’s example: Let me go my way, with your help, until the end of my days – the way you have alloted to me. Let me rest in your faithfulness, not my own understanding or strength. Thank you that, at the end of the days, I will rise with all your saints to receive the inheritance you have prepared for us. Thank you for Jesus, through whom alone all this is done, and to his name be glory, Amen.

On being reminded of one’s weakness..

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“You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you. Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theatre, but the God who made you won’t be applauding. When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to it..”

(Matt 5.48-6.2)

Something relatively trivial happened today, a long-awaited plan to meet a friend fell through due to an error on my part in naming the date. She had arranged her diary to accommodate me on one day, but I was hoping to see her the next day… Two disappointed people, and one with every good reason to be irritated at the other! And my reaction to the discovery that it was my error gave me pause to reflect… Why was I so upset? My friend has (I think) forgiven me and we will manage a short meeting, but I am left with a rather sick feeling and discomfort. I realised that it is because I am rather proud of myself as a friend – as the one who keeps appointments, makes a lot of effort to maintain relationships – and this episode has undermined that good opinion! I have been gently and clearly reminded that I am mortal, frail and as prone to error as my neighbour – there are no grounds for pride here, only gratitude for the kindness and friendship of others who are willing to forgive me.

This small event has also served as a reminder of the larger and more important relationship in my life – with Jesus my Lord, and my Heavenly Father, with whom I live by the Spirit at work in me. I need to guard against the temptation to think well of myself as a believer, to remember that of myself, I could do nothing towards my salvation and that I am utterly dependent on my Father’s love and the Son’s atoning death in order to receive the kindness and forgiveness which I need. I will never deserve God’s goodness, in the same way that I do not deserve the kindness of my friends. But I am so grateful for both!

Some of Jesus’ harshest words were for those who were proud of their spiritual habits, performance and status, whose self-worth derived in large part from being known for their public piety, generosity and diligent attendance at synagogue or temple. Believers are just as vulnerable to this trap, whereby the devil twists what are actually good habits into becoming a source of false pride. When we like to be thought of by others as somehow extra-specially holy, biblically knowledgeable, or prayerful, then we are trapped into performance and base our worth on actions instead of on Christ’s sacrificial death for us.

I am brought back over and over again to the truth that it is only in God’s naming of us as his beloved, redeemed children that we find our significance and self-worth. When I begin to value the opinion of others (and my own opinion of myself), then I am drifting away from my only security, which is in Christ. I want to be kept prayerfully aware of my own weakness in this regard; to keep asking to be cleansed by the Spirit from all false pride in myself and filled instead with gratitude for what I have been made by Christ, and am being enabled daily to do by the Spirit. If there is any pride, then it should be in my Saviour, by whose blood I am bought, and whose life in me is the source of all that is good.

This reliance upon Christ alone also releases me from excessive reaction to my own ongoing weakness. My friend knows my heart and has forgiven me – I am not less in her eyes because of my error. How much more does Jesus know my heart, and forgive my errors! I need not spiral down into self-condemnation after making mistakes, but instead rejoice that my value as a person in God’s sight is unchanged! His hold on me is as firm and tenderly secure as it will ever be, and my experiences of failure or error simply make his love and faithfulness to me even more precious and life-giving. I truly rest in him, I give over the burdens and accept in return the weighty gift of grace.