… I was given a thorn in my flesh… Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

(2Cor 12.7-10)

… I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

(Phil 4.12&13)

 When I am very weary with hard thought,
And yet the question burns and is not quenched,
My heart grows cool when to remembrance wrought
That thou who know’st the light-born answer sought
Know’st too the dark where the doubt lies entrenched –
Know’st with what seemings I am sore perplexed,
And that with thee I wait, nor needs my soul be vexed.
(George MacDonald: The Diary of an Old Soul, 1905)

Where does it come from, the dangerous and deeply ingrained fallacy which tells us that we are somehow entitled to a life free from pain, disability, mental ill health, relationship stress or breakdown? Any gospel message which tries to convince believers that God intends to make their lives and bodies better in every way on this side of glory, is a lie, and should be robustly challenged. I find the apostle Paul’s experience in this regard extremely encouraging! The great man experienced a very challenging health problem, one which he was convinced God could remove, but instead, God asked Paul to accept this weakness, even to embrace it. And, even as Jesus had done in Gethsemane, Paul said, “not my will, but yours be done”. He models for me what it looks like to come to terms with the particular limitations – of whatever kind – I am called to accept in my life. He accepts, and then chooses to rejoice in the very weakness which he has deplored, because now he sees how God is being glorified through it.

To accept our weaknesses, whatever they are, as God’s appointed calling and then to expect to see him at work through them, is not in any way to deny God’s power to miraculously heal, transform and change any situation. But, it is to come to the proper attitude of submission to a sovereign and almighty God. I am in no position to dictate to God just what is right and best for my life. God is good, all the time and He can deliver his children. When He chooses not to, He is still God and still good, and I am called to trust that he can and will use my weakness, my open wound, for his glory.

I am coming to terms with what I might describe as a faith-wound, a profound weakness which often causes me to stumble and suffer. I have long prayed for deliverance and healing, and what happens is that over and over again, my God strengthens me, and displays his power in my weakness, so that I continue in faith and perseverance, but still wounded.

I want to live with my wounds in humility and acceptance – since God is in NO WAY limited in His work in and through my life by the burdens which He calls me to bear. I am no less equipped for my calling by illness, incapacity, any kind of brokenness, than others who do not share my own particular issues. The glory is all His, because in my weakness, He is strong! If I truly long to exalt God, and to do his will, then I must accept the place and method which he appoints.

Heavenly Father, I praise you because you are good, eternally good, and your love for me is trustworthy. Thank you for helping me to accept the weakness which you call me to bear for your glory. Thank you for all the soul-medicines which you provide to enable me to live with this ailment, and for your faithful keeping of me through pain and turmoil. Thank you that I can offer up my struggles and grief as my sacrifice of praise, and that you use these according to your will and for your glory.

Thank you most of all that I can bear witness that you never leave me alone in my suffering, I am never abandoned to the darkness or imprisoned in silence. In Jesus, I am always in your presence; always gently held; always deeply loved; always completely forgiven. Thank you. Amen