Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. .. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!

People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. they feast in the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

(Ps 36.5-9)

Praise the Lord!

Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in their houses, and their righteousness endures for ever. 

Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely, who conduct their affairs with justice.

Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered for ever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. they have freely scattered their gifts to the poor, their righteousness endures for ever; their horn will be lifted high in honour…

(Ps 112.1-9)

This weekend brings the 30th anniversary of the day when I promised to love and cherish my husband till death should part us… I have been married more than half my life, and hold this relationship to be one of God’s most precious gifts to me, in awe of the privilege of sharing life with one person, committing to faithfulness, forgiveness, patience and generosity every moment of every day for the rest of our lives together.

In the days before we married, I had some bad times of doubt, fearful of my untrustworthy feelings, and God in his mercy gave me this assurance… I knew, beyond all shadow of doubt, that I wanted to be good for this man, to see him thrive. If being married to me was part of that thriving, then I wanted to be married! That assurance has never left me, and how I thank God for it. No two marriages are the same, and I have no list of essential good habits, nor of ‘must-avoid’ mistakes, I only have faith that God who decided that marriage is a good idea, who brought us together, who keeps us together, and who has in his grace chosen to bless others through us over the years, will continue to do so as we grow older together.

As we each serve and worship God, putting him first in our lives, and sharing that priority, everything else falls into place and we depend only on him to meet our deepest needs, to be the perfect partner and Lord of our lives. No human being can always get it right, and what comfort it is to know that it is not my job to be ‘the perfect wife’! My task is to love God, and then to love others, my husband first, and to love him as Christ loved me – joyfully, sacrificially, faithfully, patiently, with understanding, grace, forgiveness and humility. It is my privilege to demonstrate Christ’s unconditional love to this human being every day. And how often I fail… But thanks be to God, who helps my husband to forgive me, and helps us both to find the will to go forward together in faith.

Thirty years… it seems barely possible, and yet the lines on my face tell me that those years have indeed passed. The children who were gifted to us are grown, and a grandchild is expected soon. We are becoming older, and please God, will do so with grace, growing in wisdom and contentment, happy that God’s faithfulness is the basis of our lives, and the theme song of our marriage.

Many do not get thirty years; some are never gifted with marriage but rather with a single life, and others experience great grief at the hands of the person whom they trusted above all others… I do not take this gift for granted, I do not elevate it as somehow superior to a single life, and pray that I may never abuse the trust which my husband puts in me, nor take advantage of his vulnerability to me. How does Christ love us? In a selfless, relentless, dependable way.. He always seeks our good, even through hard trials. Let me continue to learn what love looks like in this season of life; I don’t know how many more years I will have, nor what they will bring, but I pray God might be the one who is glorified and honoured by this marriage, as he helps me to be good for my husband.