The only constant…

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For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

(Philippians 1.21)

 

It was on a night like this three years ago that my mother died. Soft, heavy snow fell steadily, drowning sound and creating a stark, eerily beautiful landscape, every branch bearing its weightless load.

We had known it was coming, and were thankful to be prepared, as ready as one can ever be to become an orphan. She was so ready to go home, and her saviour’s name was almost the last word on her lips.

God knows that death is too much for us, that we are made for eternity; that change and bereavement cause us to stagger, losing our bearings and succumbing to fear. Death is the ultimate insult to God’s creation of humanity in his image, the great scar which resulted from sin entering our hearts and breaking our fellowship with Him. It was never meant to be this way, and I take great comfort in knowing that my anger and grief in the face of death are a small reflection of God’s anger against this corruption of his perfect creation.

But I have learnt things through the deaths of my parents which would otherwise have remained merely theoretical. I have come to understand and rely on the Father heart of God for me, his beloved daughter; to trust in and take comfort from the Mother heart of God as I am cherished, and always understood. Perhaps it is only when precious things pass away that we learn to seek their essence in God – all the goodness and beauty of this world is a mere shadow of the truth and glory which are in Him.

It is a lesson which I need to keep learning. As my children have grown and become more independent, I am not ‘needed’ in the same way, and that role – which was so big that it became almost my entire life – is gone. I must not look to that relationship as my security and source of satisfaction in life. Nor should I depend on my status as ‘wife’, since that relationship too must someday come to an end. No, the only constant is that God, the creator and sustainer of life has chosen to reveal Himself to me, to make me his child, and to call me home to share in the glorious future planned for His people in the new creation.

It is His constancy which is my only security, everything else will pass away.

It is His arms which must be my refuge, since there are ultimately no other safe places.

It is His grace which is my only hope, since my own efforts and all the approval of others cannot make me worthy to belong in His kingdom.

It is in His beauty that I find the source of the glory which I only glimpse in the colours, seasons, sights and sensations of this amazing world. They dazzle me; how shall I bear being in the presence of the One and only, the great original?!

It is in His love that I find all my human loves purified, transformed and made perfect, so that I am finally at rest and fully myself.

May we be given daily grace to grow in dependence on Him, and to hold this world and all its riches with an open hand and yielding heart. For “our citizenship is in heaven. and we eagerly await a Saviour from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to being everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body!” (Philippians 3.20&21)

Dying to live..

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Then he said to them all:

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

(Luke 9. 24&25)

Some people would have us believe that the christian life should be a happy, smooth and fulfilling one, and that if we do not have that experience, then we are somehow failing to grasp our inheritance as God’s beloved children.

Where does Jesus call us to such a life? Not here, not in these words, which are recorded in all four gospels, indicating their centrality to our understanding of his teaching. Jesus calls us to die for him, no more, no less. For many, it is a call to physical death – whether by martyrdom, or by being exposed to unusual risks by virtue of the work we do in his name. For all of us, it is a call to die to ourselves, to the ways of thinking and acting which put our needs, welfare and personal fulfillment first.

Am I the only christian who needs regularly to be reminded that my Lord calls me to this radical discipleship? To have it drummed into my heart and thinking again and again that my own happiness is not the goal of my life, in spite of the bewitching messages with which contemporary culture tries to persuade me. When I get my eyes fixed back onto this vision of the life to which I am called, for which I was saved by my Lord, then it is like finally seeing past a smokescreen, to a clear sky and a straight road. But oh, how hard it can be to look up, to shake myself clear of the smoke and see properly!

Jesus does not give me options on obedience, I am not in a position to qualify the extent to which I will do as God commands according to my circumstances and feelings! If I once allow my feelings to become the driving force behind my willingness to obey, then I will become utterly bogged down in self-obsessed inaction. God has given me a will to act, a mind to understand, and has shown me what to do. How I feel must follow, not dictate, my obedience to those commands.

Did it not cost Jesus more than we can begin to imagine to obey God’s will in his life on earth? He wept and toiled, and embraced suffering and death because He knew that this was God’s will for him. What am I saying when I protest against the cost of obedience in my life, that I am not willing to suffer in turn? That my immediate comfort and temporary self-fulfilment are more precious than eternal life and union with Christ? That his love for me is not worth very much if it must be paid out of my own ease?

I have been reminded again of the words penned by martyred missionary Jim Elliott, who wrote :-“he is no fool, who gives what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose!”

God forgive me that I protest so bitterly against the small crosses which he asks me to bear, against the small sacrifices which he asks me to make in his name. Should I not rather rejoice that I may suffer through obedience? My Lord sees the pain I experience, and commends me as I seek to obey in spite of it. That same pain causes me to lean ever harder on His arm, to listen closer for his loving voice, to sit ever more lightly to this world and hope more gladly for the next. Is this not reason for giving thanks in my struggles? God give me courage to obey, understanding to see what I must do, and fuller knowledge of his love that my desire for him might continue to grow.

All to Jesus I surrender; all to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all; all to Thee my blessed Saviour, 

I surrender all

(Judson W. Van De Venter 1896)

Just kidding myself….

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Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord.

Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts.

They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths.

You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully.

Oh that my actions would consistently reflect your decrees!

Then I will not be ashamed when I compare my life with your commands.

As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should!

I will obey your decrees….Please don’t give up on me!

(Ps 119.1-8, NLT) 

As I read these words this morning, I had to laugh. Such a perfect articulation of my thoughts this week and written, well, how long ago?! It is marvellous to receive God’s word so directly, to hear one’s own thoughts turned into prayers by a poet/musician who wrote in a completely different culture, and yet voiced the experience of God’s people down across the centuries.

We know that it is not our ability to keep God’s decrees which dictates our acceptance by him. It is all his grace, and what a relief that is! But obedience is our response to that grace, as the psalmist says – “I will thank you by living as I should!”As I go on following Jesus, my life should increasingly reflect his character, so that my thoughts, words and deeds are all in accord, so that I am a person of integrity.

The apostle Paul told his readers in the Roman church that this transformation comes about through our minds – it is by no means accidental or unwilled.:- “Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.“(Romans 12.2)

I have a responsibility as a professing Christian, to be actively growing in my knowledge of God, through his word, through prayerful living and sharing with my fellow believers. If I choose to sit back and drift, then I will not find myself growing in holiness, or humility, or self-control. The human default setting is still towards selfishness, laziness, and dependence on self rather than reliance on God. I find in myself a lack of discipline, a mental laziness when it comes to studying the bible, a casual attitude to intercession, and so many ready excuses for not being what I could be…

I have to tread carefully here, since the devil would love to cast me into a pit of despair over my failures, and bind me with a sense of futility about my efforts to change. That is not God’s will for me, and I reject such an attitude. I rejoice in the forgiveness which I have in Christ, in the fresh start which is given to me daily, and the many personal tokens of God’s love which I receive . But the grief of my failure to live up to the  love which is so lavishly bestowed upon me is real, and I will acknowledge it. Indeed, I think I can even be glad that I feel it, because it is a sign that my spirit is still desiring God, longing to know him better, to live more closely with him. If I did not care about my heavenly Father’s heart, I wouldn’t mind falling short of his perfect ways.

So here is the challenge.. to allow my sense of my shortcomings to be strong enough to drive me to seek God’s help in changing habits and thoughts, re-arranging my days if necessary to do so, while not falling into a trap of despair when the inevitable failures happen!

God is not fooled by my efforts to justify myself, and he is not deceived as others may be by my public behaviour. I am known, through and through, by the only one whose opinion really matters. I have a long way to go, but praise God, the work is still in progress, and the divine craftsman is not for giving up!

May God, the source of hope, fill us completely with joy and peace because we trust in him. Then we shall overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.(from Romans 15.13) Amen Lord, so let it be!

And now …what?

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Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace.

For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.

(Luke 2.29-32)

If you were reading these words for the first time, you might think they were spoken by one of Jesus’ disciples, after the resurrection, when everything was becoming clearer and his life on earth was at an end.

In fact, the speaker was a man named Simeon, a man who had been waiting many years for God to fulfill a special personal promise to him. Simeon knew that he would not die until his eyes had seen the promised Messiah, the Christ, who would save his people and usher in the new Kingdom. And this speech was not made as Simeon stood looking into an empty tomb, or even at  a darkened, bloodstained cross. He was holding an eight-day old baby boy, whose parents had brought him to the temple in Jerusalem to fulfill the law and present the child to God. There was nothing to make anyone else look twice at the child, but Simeon knew, and what joy must have filled his faithful heart as he cradled the answer to God’s promise!

He could not see into the days and years ahead, to the massacre of innocent children in Bethlehem; or the return of the grown man to declare his divinity and challenge the temple leaders; to proclaim the coming of God’s kingdom and to lay down his life in sacrifice, the perfect lamb of God. Simeon knew nothing of the disciples who would one day be scattered from Jerusalem to take the gospel into all the world, revealing God’s love to the Gentiles and proclaiming forever that there was no difference in God’s eye between Jew and Gentile, that all are one people, God’s beloved and redeemed children.

He knew God, and so he trusted… His personal promise had been fulfilled, he held in his arms the beginning of the final chapter of God’s great plan for the world, and he was content to know no more.

Simeon’s faith is a challenge to me in my waiting, in my living by faith and in hope. Do I share his confidence that because I know the beginning of the story, I can trust in God’s will and power to achieve the end He has promised? I know so much more than Simeon ever did about this baby. I see the grown man in his agony for me; I see his wrestling with evil and enduring utter separation from God – for me. And still I doubt that God is able or willing to achieve good for and through me, or to fulfill all his just and right will for this world.

Oh Lord, strengthen my faith, and help me to trust you in the face of the darkness which grows upon our world.

In my waiting – let me not be passive, but active in rejoicing in my saviour and making him known to any who will listen:

In my waiting – let me not despair over the power of evil in the world and men’s hearts, but rather recognise the death throes of a beaten foe:

In my waiting – let me see beauty, life, and joy, your good gifts to your world so that we might taste of you and hunger to be satisfied:

In my waiting – let me live in that divine hope which fuels perseverance and which alone will enable me to walk peacefully through a troubled world:

In my waiting – let me be content, like Simeon, with what you have chosen to reveal to me, accepting that which I cannot understand and trusting that you know best what is good for me. Amen

This is my story, this is my song..

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Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures for ever. 

Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies.

For he has gathered the exiles from many lands, from east and west, from north and south.

(Ps 107. 1-3)

On Christmas Eve, in our little corner of a big city, a group of christians from local congregations gathered on a street corner to sing carols, to pray and to hear again from God’s word the story of Jesus birth.

It was a filthy night of weather, we were wet, cold and buffeted by the wind. Barely anyone passed by, nor could they have heard much if they did! But it proved to be one of the most meaningful events in my celebration of Christmas this year, because we were free to do it. We can publicly declare our faith and tell the story of God’s love born into our midst.

No one called the police and reported us for ‘illegal’ activities, no one threw stones or even hard words at us. We are privileged to live under a system of law which protects our freedom to gather for public worship, and it truly is a privilege, a gift and blessing! As we enter a new year and look to the opportunities which may lie ahead, I am challenged by these words from the psalmist. Do I speak out?

I have a story to tell, of salvation and of life lived in the presence of my God. I have been given the good news of Jesus Christ to share; the best gift anyone could ever receive is mine not to hoard but to advertise! There are no legal restrictions on my witness, I need fear nothing from the authorities.

But I do fear ridicule, rejection, giving offence and being misunderstood, driving someone away instead of drawing them near. I look back over many years of living as a christian and wonder just how many opportunities I failed to take through fear? It seems that so many of those around me who do not know God’s personal love for them are people who would be angry, insulted and hurt if I said anything which suggested their lives were somehow lacking. Many of them believe that Christianity is outdated, irrelevant to their lives, a source of hatred and violence down the years which should be discarded. They tolerate my faith because I refrain from offending them, but I know very well that I am not free to challenge their position.

So where is my witness? I try to live in a way which speaks of God’s forgiveness and love, his transforming power and presence in my life – hoping that this might somehow prompt questions. But it hasn’t, not yet, not to me…. And I fear that I am simply written down as a ‘nice person’ (if only they knew!!), who suffers from some misguided religious beliefs but is too polite to make a big thing of them.

The picture at the head of this post is of Galilee, the great lake which in Israel today is called Kinneret after the harp which it resembles in shape. The hills beyond are the Golan Heights, beyond which lies Syria, and a dreadful destruction from which the land may never recover. It is here that Jesus walked on the water; here that he sat by the lake and called fishermen to leave their nets; on these hills he prayed through the night and taught his disciples about the kingdom which he was inaugurating.

I believe in a historical Christ, who lived, died and rose again; whose death bought life for me and all who believe in his sacrifice for them; a Christ whose love and indwelling power can and does transform lives. He is my Lord, my Saviour, the lover of my soul and beloved in my eyes. He is my God, my Father, the source of life and power and the one who will someday make all things new so that I will be at home with him forever.

This is my story, my song; may I be given opportunities and courage to tell it, to sing it, and to be privileged to see God at work in the lives of others this year as He continues to work out His good purposes in this world for His glory.

Mourning..at Christmas?

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Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.

(Proverbs 14.13)

So last week our church family held its annual ‘Carols by Candlelight’ event, our building transformed by candle – and fairy – light into a glowing haven on a dark, damp night. Music from the choir, the praise band and the gathered folk themselves, interspersed with readings and video clips to challenge us to look beyond the familiar trappings of the story.

And I stood at the back, weeping inconsolably, bewildered by the force of my grieving, and ashamed to bring it into such a lovely space.

Why, why should I feel wounded and heart-broken as I hear these wonderful words again, words which have marked every Christmas of my life, the story of my Saviour’s birth?

One may be sad at any time of year, and perhaps especially at Christmas when remembering loved ones who have died; realising that life is not working out as you had hoped and that expectations are not going to be realised; recognising that life may be going to get harder, that there are trials and sore tests on the horizon. But it was none of these which I found in my heart last Sunday evening.

I felt myself drowned in the grief of God for a world of human beings whom he loves with a passion which we cannot imagine; and who have consistently refused to recognise his love, rejecting his mercy and scorning his tenderness.

Look around at society today.. chasing material wealth, health and long-life; grasping eagerly at every excuse for a party, a reason to “be cheerful”, trying to live up to the myth of the perfect Christmas and the ideal family. People know that there is more to life than they have already, that is what drives them. But they will not see that in Christ, God has given us what we really need, and that without him, nothing else can satisfy them.

Folk crowd along to carol services, they sing the old familiar songs and watch the old films again; they eat the same foods and play the old games; all reaching vainly after something meaningful and nourishing for their hearts.

But they can’t or won’t see past the glitter, the tinsel, the food and the gifts. The story is there because it has always been there, but they cannot see past the nativity play costumes to the glory enclosed in human flesh; to the priceless gift that Mary held in her arms for the shepherds to adore. Our God, with us, in our mess and desperation; our self-deception and fatal self-sufficiency; our willed blindness to all that might do us good.

Our God, with us, to give us the new hearts that we need to live well, to live forever with him in wholeness and joy.

Is it not enough to make us weep? That we who have been given this gift – through no merit of our own, but entirely by God’s grace and goodness – should be unable to open the eyes of our neighbours, colleagues, family and friends to what we have.

I know it is wrong to despair, but I think it is good to realise a little of how our utterly good God must grieve over this world in its stubborn refusal to hear him. I think that there is a place for mourning at Christmas, for calling out to God by his Holy Spirit to open blind eyes, and breathe life into dead bones. The hymn ‘It came upon the midnight clear’ expresses this so tenderly:

But with the woes of sin and strife the world has suffered long;

Beneath the angel strain have rolled two thousand years of wrong;

And man at war with man, hears not the love song which they bring;

O hush the noise, ye men of strife, and hear the angels sing.

And ye, beneath life’s crushing load whose forms are bending low,

who toil along the climbing way with painful steps and slow,

Look now! for glad and golden hours come swiftly on the wing;

O rest beside the weary road, and hear the angels sing.

(E H Sears, 1810-1876)

The truth is here for all to see… Oh Lord, have mercy upon the closed mind and the proud heart, remove the veil and let people see you in all your beauty.

A divine substitute?

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Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows,

Yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

(Isaiah 53. 4&5)

The mystery at the heart of the Christmas story, is the mystery of who this miraculous child really was? Why was he foretold by God’s prophets hundreds of years before his birth, and what is the significance of the way he was described in those ancient writings? Babies were born regularly, frequently, it was nothing new, so why all the fuss about this one?

We have the testimony of the gospel writers, who must surely have had the details directly from Mary herself – who else could have told of the visit by the angel to her home in Nazareth all those months before the trip to Bethlehem? That testimony refers again and again to the prophecies given over the years, which pointed to a coming saviour, one who would save his people, would dwell with them, would bring justice, an eternal rule of peace, and real healing of our sin wounds.

We have Jesus own testimony about himself, coming as the fulfillment of all the old testament scriptures, coming as the one who would reveal God to his people, and would lay down his life for his sheep.

We have God’s direct testimony, at Jesus’ conception, birth, baptism, transfiguration, and ascension into heaven. This was God’s own son; beloved, sent, broken and blessed – for the redeeming of the world.

So on the one hand we have a very simple story; a young woman conceives and gives birth to a son. On the other hand we have a mystery which enchants and inspires us even as it perplexes us; God himself is enclosed in embryo, the creator of the universe submits to the process he himself devised, and takes on human flesh. When he was finally born in Bethlehem, the angelic host could contain themselves no longer, and burst forth in praise and adoration to announce to the shepherds that something absolutely unprecedented was going on!

All through his life, the paradox continued to develop. He was fully human, and lived a sinless life; He was sent to save his people, yet never raised a sword or led an army; He came in fulfillment of all the scriptures, yet the religious leaders opposed and hated him, utterly failing to recognise him. And ultimately on the cross, his death in disgrace and shame was to be his greatest triumph and the means by which his mission was accomplished. By his sufferings for our sins, all those who trust and believe in him are set free from the consequences of sin. His death for us, conquers death for us. His life laid down for us, births new life in us. What a mystery, what profound depths are these to consider!

This is the child whose birth we anticipate and celebrate over again each year; this Christ, the helpless baby who was also the eternal, all-powerful word of God. I am so thankful that at the heart of the story of Christmas is this great mystery, from which every year I am freshly blessed and find new cause for praise and thanksgiving. It is no empty sentimental excuse for a party, but the only gift which could ever really do me good, given by a God whose love I have every reason to trust.

The best songs are the ones which focus my thoughts on this truth, the simple, stunning reality that in Christ, God sent someone else to take my place; and this week, I have been singing one of the simplest and best of them. I close with it, and pray that for all of us, this truth will shine like the light in our darkness in the days ahead.

Child in the manger, infant of Mary;

Outcast and stranger, Lord of all!

Child who inherits all our transgressions,

All our demerits on Him fall.

( Mary Macdonald, 1817-1890; tr Lachlan Macbean, 1853-1931)

Jesus Christ, the apple tree?

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The tree of life my soul hath seen, laden with fruit, and always green,

The trees of nature fruitless be, compar’d with Christ the apple tree.

His beauty doth all things excel, by faith I know, but ne’er can tell,

The glory which I now can see, in Jesus Christ the apple tree.

For happiness I long have sought, and pleasure dearly I have bought; 

I missed of all but now I see ’tis found in Christ the apple tree.

I’m wearied with my former toil, here I will sit and rest a while; 

Under the shadow I will be of Jesus Christ the apple tree.

With great delight I make my stay, there’s none shall fright my soul away,

Among the sons of men I see, there’s none like Christ the apple tree.

I’ll sit and eat this fruit divine, it cheers my heart like spiritual wine.

And now this fruit is sweet to me, that grows on Christ the apple tree.

This fruit doth make my soul to thrive, it keeps my dying faith alive;

Which makes my soul in haste to be with Jesus Christ the apple tree.

(  Anon , first published in the 18th century)

Old songs can be hard to sing, hard to understand, because their language is antique and unwieldy, words have shifted in their meaning, and images and allegories which were once familiar are now strange.

Many of the older songs traditionally sung at Christmas come under this heading, and I appreciate that for this reason, few modern leaders choose to use them in congregational worship. But if – like me – you have enough of a taste for old language, for rich imagery in praise, then there is great sweetness in these pieces.

The picture of a tree full of fruit and goodness is an attractive one, and for the Christian, the image immediately conjures up the tree of the Garden of Eden – of the knowledge of good and evil – where humankind first rebelled against God and rejected his authority in their lives. But the tree of life is described in detail in Revelation 22, with its continual fruit and leaves for the healing of the nations. This tree is not a source of curse and loss, but of healing and life! And we know that it is in Christ, by his work on the cross, that we are healed and restored to newness of life.

The beauty of Christ’s love for us, that heart-piercing loveliness which brings us to our knees in adoration of the one who counted us worth dying for, makes this tree the one above all which we cherish, and prefer. Nowhere else are we so satisfied as here, and here we rest, as in the shade of a tree on a hot day. In Christ we rest, because all the labour of our salvation was his, not ours, and he has extended to us all the privileges of glory to treasure.

And so we live by his fruit, because it is the forgiveness which he won for us which lifts us out of darkness into light and God’s favour; it is the new life which is ours in him that enables us to live in hope in this world and with confidence for the next; it is the constant presence of his spirit within us, like the food which nurtures our bodies, that feeds our souls, our faith, our walk with God. If I do not eat, I die; and if I refuse the fruit of my precious Lord, then surely I will starve and waste away, and the life which Christ died to give me will be a travesty, a ghost and dreadful to see.

So as I anticipate the feast of Christmas, celebrating the coming of Jesus, God with us, I will feast on the great images which deepen my understanding of him – the Shepherd; the Gate; the Water of Life; the Bread of Life; the Alpha and the Omega; the bright morning star; the Messiah; the son of David… and the apple tree!

May we be richly nourished in the days ahead..

May I come in?

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“If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counsellor to be with you for ever – the Spirit of truth…you know him for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you….. If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”

(John 14. 15-17 &23)

Human beings are made in the image of God, made to reflect creativity, strength, compassion, love, to one another and the world. We are made by a God who is three-in-one, a God who is community and endless loving communication. We are made for community, to give and receive, to speak and to listen, to exist in relationships of such trust that we have no need to hide anything of ourselves. That is what lies behind the picture of Adam and Eve walking naked in the Garden of Eden, sharing with God in the cool of the day.

And when we rebelled against God, we broke the image; we all now live with the curse of needing community, but struggling to create it because of the ways our fallen nature has twisted us. We project images of ourselves which we hope will give us a peaceful life, protect us from abuse or ridicule, enable others to accept and like us. But so often these are not the truth, rather a facade behind which we hide – longing to be known utterly, but afraid to be known, full of shame and fearful of rejection.

So we live, even within the closest human relationships, behind closed doors, locked away and unable to enjoy that sweet ease which comes from being with one who accepts and loves us unconditionally. We cannot make and keep the connections which create deep relationships without exposing our secrets, trusting another flawed human being to be gentle with us, willing to forgive them when they hurt us – as those closest to us surely can. How many of us truly manage to do this?

What hope is there then for meeting this deep need within our beings, for finding that soul food of fellowship and acceptance from which we can then give unconditional love and acceptance to others?

Our hope is in our good and gracious God, who knows better than the greatest physician or psychologist just exactly what ails us! When once we have seen and loved Christ, acknowledging his mercy and majesty and accepting his forgiveness, we are made new, made fit for the most intimate fellowship with God. That is what Jesus was telling the apostles in his last conversations with them as recorded by John. We need never feel alone or isolated again, because Father, Son and Spirit are ever present with us. Every aspect of our character and experience is known and accepted in love. As we rest more and more in that heart of God’s love for us, we are able to give love without expectation of return, and no longer depend on the approval of anyone else for our peace of mind and sense of worth.

In this season of Advent, I will be celebrating the coming of Immanuel, which means ‘God with us’.

With me – here, today, in my mess and weariness:

With me – tomorrow, in the unknown future:

With me – in joy and triumph, as well as fear and doubt:

With me; loving me; listening to me; sharing his heart with me; taking joy in my joys and feeling my sorrows:

With me from now until the day comes when all things are made new, when all the remaining hindrances that hold my attention away from him are removed, when I shall see him and know even as I am known.

Alleluia, Come Lord, Come!

It’s all just so… wrong!

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O God, do not keep silent; be not quiet, O God, be not still.

See how your enemies are astir, how your foes rear their heads. with cunning they conspire against your people; they plot against those you cherish.

(Psalm 83. 1-3)

Do you ever get really desperate with God about the mess that things are in? I do, I find myself full of questions and anger that so much beauty, love, and goodness are being assaulted, wasted and destroyed on a daily basis. I get furious that God’s people across the world are being oppressed, attacked and martyred every month. I despair over the ways that the family of God, the church, the body of Christ, manages to misrepresent the truth about its Lord – we fight and quarrel, we stand over in judgement against one another; we acquire wealth and status, and love to sit in the seats of power, while neglecting to love our needy neighbours and to wear the garment of humility in all our dealings with men.

It is therefore with great relief that I turn to the Psalms, to the book of songs recorded for the people of God to use in worship and in prayer, and from which generations have been blessed. These songs are not like many of those we sing nowadays, which might give the impression that being a Christian is an easy or instantly fulfilling life. Very few of our modern writers manage to accurately mirror the truth about our life of faith, with all its struggles, doubts and darkness – which are not a passing phase, but things we will live with until God takes us home and makes us new.

But the psalmists know real life. Their songs speak to my own situation, and give me words to use in prayer and worship as I come before God, as I live before him in daily life in this broken world. Do you ever think of your lament as a form of worship? I believe that it is, a most profound act of surrendering our questions, doubts, fear and anger to the one who above all has the power to heal, answer and quieten our storms. The throne of the almighty is THE place of justice, of appeal against wrong and evil. We give the Lord of Hosts his rightful place when we call upon him to put right all that is so painfully wrong in his world. It is when we recognise our own pitiful limitations and cast ourselves entirely upon him that we truly worship – give him his full worth. So let us not hold back, but come often to lay down our burdens of grief, discouragement, fear and anger at the ways which our world and particularly our race, are damaged.

It is good to be sufficiently alive to the goodness, glory and love of God that we see and feel most keenly the evil, darkness and hatred of this world. I didn’t say it was comfortable! The greater our understanding of God, the more deeply we will mourn over the ways in which his children have rebelled against him and are destroying all the beauty he has given them.

As we grow in our understanding of God’s love for us, in the riches which are available to us through faith in Jesus Christ, so we will become more and more tender-hearted toward our fellows in their need to be saved. John tells us in his gospel that “Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.”(Jn 3.19) Do we not see this? People reject the witness of Jesus’ followers, they shut their ears and will not listen to the offer of life, forgiveness and restoration, because they do not want to see the truth about their deeds. They would rather remain in the darkness – and how heart-breaking is that for our Father God?

When we grieve and lament over the broken lives, and corrupted world we inhabit; when we come before the One who made all things to be good and share something of his pain; when we receive a fresh vision of his love and mercy towards the lost, then we find that our witness becomes more urgent, our prayers more fervent, and our rejoicing in daily blessings more whole-hearted.

How right the psalmists were, to bring their grief and anger to God, who can use these experiences to strengthen and equip us to be more faithful servants, and to live even closer to him. Praise the Lord, O my soul!