O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in – behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
(Ps 139.1-6)
.. no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us… The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to them, and they cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned… But we have the mind of Christ.
(1 Cor 2.11&12,14&16)
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
(2 Cor 10.4&5)
Words matter very much to me – the words I use to express my thoughts, and those which others use to communicate to me. The discipline of writing this blog every week has been of immeasurable value, as I have wrestled with challenges and found words to articulate what I am learning (or trying to learn). However, I am aware that sometimes the words which I say to myself about life, about faith, about myself, are not necessarily the full truth. I am not talking about the times when I try to think better of myself than I ought, but those other times, when the voice in my head is vicious, negative, full of bitter condemnation and a triumphant hopelessness.
The devil knows that words matter to me; the enemy of my soul knows that I desire above all things to love my Lord, to become more like him, and to grow in faith and understanding. And that enemy knows that if I can be got to tell myself untruths, to believe his lies about me, then he can keep me penned up in a pit like the Doubting Castle so graphically described in Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress… This vulnerability to assuming the worst about ourselves is not uncommon, and I think many faithful, conscientious and mature saints share it. A tender conscience, an awareness of the offence of sin in God’s sight, and a fear of thinking too highly of ourselves all combine to create a predisposition to be our own worst critics, and constant detractors. As is so often the case, we take something healthy – an awareness of our own persisting frailty – and turn it into a weapon for the enemy to use against us.
What is the remedy? Firstly, to be given wisdom to recognise that this is what is going on! And I am very thankful for that awareness, but more is needed if I am to break free from the cycle of despair which so readily entraps me. Paul says to the saints in Corinth that believers have the Spirit of God himself within us, the very mind of Christ, so that we may see and understand what is true – what our Almighty God and Father says and does, for and in us. The psalmist meditates on the alarming and encouraging fact that all our thoughts and deeds are known to God – these unruly thoughts of mine which are misrepresenting God just as surely as the serpent did in Eden when tempting Eve – ‘did God say…?’ I need not pretend that God doesn’t know, and can be sure of his love in spite of my unruly thoughts!
So the second step seems to be to bring my thoughts – the words of this inner critic – into the light of what Christ has done for me, and what God says about me.. to see if there is any correlation at all! And when I find that I am believing falsehoods, that my enemy has bound me by lies, then I take the weapons of truth, of God’s word, of Christ’s victory, and – as Paul writes – I wage war against all that has set itself up within me against the true knowledge of God. I can do this in the full assurance that my enemy is already defeated, and that as I am in Christ, so I am victorious over all that would keep me from the fulness of life which is God’s gift and desire for me. Paul doesn’t write – ‘we TRY to take captive every thought’ – he has no doubt that it can be done!
Dear Father, thank you that in Christ, all your children are victors over the enemy of our souls. Thank you that we can know the truth because your Spirit dwells within us, and is transforming us into the likeness of Christ himself. Aid us O Father, as we gradually uncover the lies which we have believed, and enable us to take those thoughts captive – to bring them up against your truth and to reject them. Set us free to live in glad humility as your redeemed people, knowing and living by the truth which is your Son, my Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.
aforgetfulsoul 