Category Archives: Repentance

On being reminded of one’s weakness..

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“You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you. Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theatre, but the God who made you won’t be applauding. When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to it..”

(Matt 5.48-6.2)

Something relatively trivial happened today, a long-awaited plan to meet a friend fell through due to an error on my part in naming the date. She had arranged her diary to accommodate me on one day, but I was hoping to see her the next day… Two disappointed people, and one with every good reason to be irritated at the other! And my reaction to the discovery that it was my error gave me pause to reflect… Why was I so upset? My friend has (I think) forgiven me and we will manage a short meeting, but I am left with a rather sick feeling and discomfort. I realised that it is because I am rather proud of myself as a friend – as the one who keeps appointments, makes a lot of effort to maintain relationships – and this episode has undermined that good opinion! I have been gently and clearly reminded that I am mortal, frail and as prone to error as my neighbour – there are no grounds for pride here, only gratitude for the kindness and friendship of others who are willing to forgive me.

This small event has also served as a reminder of the larger and more important relationship in my life – with Jesus my Lord, and my Heavenly Father, with whom I live by the Spirit at work in me. I need to guard against the temptation to think well of myself as a believer, to remember that of myself, I could do nothing towards my salvation and that I am utterly dependent on my Father’s love and the Son’s atoning death in order to receive the kindness and forgiveness which I need. I will never deserve God’s goodness, in the same way that I do not deserve the kindness of my friends. But I am so grateful for both!

Some of Jesus’ harshest words were for those who were proud of their spiritual habits, performance and status, whose self-worth derived in large part from being known for their public piety, generosity and diligent attendance at synagogue or temple. Believers are just as vulnerable to this trap, whereby the devil twists what are actually good habits into becoming a source of false pride. When we like to be thought of by others as somehow extra-specially holy, biblically knowledgeable, or prayerful, then we are trapped into performance and base our worth on actions instead of on Christ’s sacrificial death for us.

I am brought back over and over again to the truth that it is only in God’s naming of us as his beloved, redeemed children that we find our significance and self-worth. When I begin to value the opinion of others (and my own opinion of myself), then I am drifting away from my only security, which is in Christ. I want to be kept prayerfully aware of my own weakness in this regard; to keep asking to be cleansed by the Spirit from all false pride in myself and filled instead with gratitude for what I have been made by Christ, and am being enabled daily to do by the Spirit. If there is any pride, then it should be in my Saviour, by whose blood I am bought, and whose life in me is the source of all that is good.

This reliance upon Christ alone also releases me from excessive reaction to my own ongoing weakness. My friend knows my heart and has forgiven me – I am not less in her eyes because of my error. How much more does Jesus know my heart, and forgive my errors! I need not spiral down into self-condemnation after making mistakes, but instead rejoice that my value as a person in God’s sight is unchanged! His hold on me is as firm and tenderly secure as it will ever be, and my experiences of failure or error simply make his love and faithfulness to me even more precious and life-giving. I truly rest in him, I give over the burdens and accept in return the weighty gift of grace.

Turning and re-turning..

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Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season…

(Ps 1.1-3)

…the word of God came to John.. He went through all the region of the Jordan, announcing a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. This is what is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet:

‘A voice shouting in the wilderness: get ready a path for the Lord, make the roads straight for him! Every valley shall be filled in, and every mountain and hill shall be flattened, the twisted paths will be straightened out, and the rough roads smoothed off, and all that lives shall see God’s rescue.’

‘You brood of  vipers,’ John used to say to the crowds.. ‘Who told you to escape from God’s coming anger? You’d better prove your repentance by bearing the proper fruit! Don’t start saying to yourselves, “We have Abraham as our father”; let me tell you, God can raise up children for Abraham from these stones! The axe is already standing by the roots of the tree – so every tree that doesn’t produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.’

(Lk 3.2-9, NT Wright translation, 2001)

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work….

(Col 1.9&10)

The words of John the Baptist to his intrigued audience are brutal – he doesn’t congratulate them for coming, but rather castigates them! His mission is to alert the nation of Israel to its desperate need for change – and not merely a political or social change, but a radical heart-transformation which would see them ready to enter into the kingdom of God. John is warning a people steeped in religious tradition that mere ethnic or nominal ‘belonging’ to the children of Abraham would mean nothing, giving no protection from the judgement which will surely come.

John is not saying anything new, but echoing the prophets who had gone before – telling the people over and over that unless they lived out their faith, embracing their calling to be a light to the nations by letting God’s word transform their lives, then they could not expect the receive the blessings of God’s promises.. lip service counts for nothing; going through the motions of ritual observance is fruitless when the heart is far from God.

It takes little imagination to see how this warning continues to apply to God’s people today… the mere fact of having been baptised is meaningless, unless our lives bear the marks of being submitted to God’s word. Having Christian parents guarantees nothing until the child embraces Christ as Lord for themselves in due time, and bears fruit – in turning away from sin, and turning towards God, a continual reorientation throughout their life. Even scrupulous observance of spiritual habits may cloak a heart and mind which remain wedded to the values of the world – remember the rich young man to whom the call to put Jesus before his wealth proved an impossibility?

What am I prioritising ahead of Jesus? What do I hug to myself jealously, fearful lest God should challenge me to set it aside? If John were to come to me today, what would he point out that is hindering my obedience to Jesus, and holding me back from bearing fruit?

Heavenly Father, I confess again that my heart is deceitful and that I need your Spirit to reveal to me my secret sins, my pride, my complacency.  I confess that personal comfort and social acceptance are precious to me.

I desire to bear fruit which will demonstrate your power at work to transform my life; I desire to honour Jesus and glorify him.

May your power work in me to keep me flexible, keeping me sensitive to sin and eager to turn away from it in repentance. Thank you that your power is at work in me to make me fruitful; help me to persevere and to keep re-turning to you in devotion and thankful dependence. For Jesus’ sake I pray, Amen.