Author Archives: eps992014

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About eps992014

a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a mother, wife, sometime runner, singer, gardener, and proud Scot

The joy of simple things

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Lord, you have been our dwelling-place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God…. For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning- though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered….

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom… Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days..

May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendour to their children. May the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands.

(Ps 90.1&2,4-6,12,14,16&17)

What sweet relief comes to a struggling believer when they are gently reminded of the absolute and unshakeable goodness of God; of his power and eternal being. While we may founder amid doubt, weariness and even despair both over our own condition and the grievous state of our world, yet when we turn to the Almighty, we find a mighty, unruffled serenity and a resolute peace. Here is no agonised doubting, no indecisiveness, no fickleness. Here is pure light, justice, fathomless grace and committed and faithful love. Here is a safe place – THE safe place- where we may cast ourselves down in utter trust and surrender, and know that all shall be well, because our God is on the throne and nothing can prevent the fulfilment of his purposes and the full realisation of his glorious plans.

In this place of total security, I sit with my grief and loss; I share with my Father the burdens of my heart and am  comforted to know that I am heard and tenderly enveloped in his love. In this place of safety, I share my small joys, and know that they are a gift of his love to me, and I give thanks  – I know that when I take pleasure in what He gives, then I am honouring His love for me. In this place, where his eternal nature is revealed and my own smallness made so clear, I rest in his adoption of me as his child, and surrender to that keeping.

As I recognise that I am grieving, with all the weariness and confusion which that brings, I am glad to find peace and pleasure in small tasks – the baking of bread; the sharing of hospitality; and today, the preparation of some pots of colour to grace our garden as the autumn approaches. To handle soil, to gently embed the tiny plants, to let my eye feast on the variety of textures and colours, to anticipate in my imagination how they will flourish – these are gifts which soothe my spirit and I give thanks tonight for the opportunity and means to enjoy them. To be in the open air, with the sunshine on my back and the sound of the birds having a lively discussion in the neighbour’s thickets – these are gifts which refresh me and I give thanks tonight for my senses by which to appreciate them.

The Lord IS my dwelling place, and there I find both nurture and peace, and therefore I praise and let another day pass..

O Lord, I am as nothing in the face of your eternal glory and light, a passing shadow and a fleeting thought. Yet you have declared yourself to be my God, my Maker, my Sovereign. It is your naming which gives me value, and your promise which gives me hope. So few days are given to me, Lord let me be wise to use them well in your service; let your love be the foundation of my hope, my source of joy and pride and my satisfaction.

Have compassion on your servant, that she may see your hand at work and rejoice; let your glory be her motivation in living. By your grace and power, let her labours be fruitful in your kingdom, the only place where lasting value can be found. And Lord, let her children receive and walk in your covenant love; let them grow in faith and joy to glorify and serve you; may they see your works and worship you, together with all your saints. In Jesus’ precious name and for your glory, Amen.

The gap….

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When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterwards you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.. But as for me, it is good to be near God.

(Ps 73.21-28)

There is a gulf between the truth that I know, and my daily experience of living. There is a gap between what the bible teaches is true about me as a beloved child of God, with every reason to rejoice daily and to live in confident freedom; and the actual lived failure to find hope, to experience joy, to break out of a pessimistic and apathetic attitude to life. I can completely identify with the psalmist, describing a grieving and bitter heart…

I feel shame that the truth cannot banish the feelings, cannot move my perception of reality from my mind to my heart and emotions. I feel shame that I can’t seem to live in joy and peace and freedom, but am as one removed, behind a shield which hems me in with weariness and hopelessness, so that I long to be away from this body of death and sphere of failure. How can I as a believer even think this way? The truth exists to set me free, so how can I be in such bondage? There is a struggle, a desperate fight to regain courage, to find hope, to connect again with joy. And I am so tired of fighting every day…

Is it a passing phase? I hope so, but nonetheless intense and real while it lasts, so how do I deal with it as a believer? What is my witness while I endure? I cannot lie, I must speak truth and this is the reality today – the gap between what my faith tells me is true, and how I feel seems so deep and so wide, I cannot cross it.

I have been here before, and hold on to the assurance that it has passed and will pass again. But meantime, I am struggling each day to find motivation, to want to serve, to want to do anything at all – the weariness is real. I know I should preach truth to myself, should exhort and encourage but it feels pointless, as though I am cut off from God’s power. His strength does not fail, nor does his loving kindness. And yet.. my heart is failing, my spirit is so weary of trying and so ashamed of failing again, and again, and again..

Grant me grace, God grant me grace, for in you I have taken shelter, and in your wing’s shadow do I shelter until disasters pass.

I call out to God the most high, to [him] who requites me. He will send from the heavens and rescue me.. God will send his steadfast kindness…

My heart is firm, O God, my heart is firm. Let me sing and hymn. Awake, O lyre, awake, O lute and lyre. I would awaken the dawn. Let me acclaim you among the peoples, Master. Let me hymn you among the nations.

For your kindness is great to the heavens, and to the skies your steadfast truth.

(Ps 57, R Alter translation)

Father, consider your daughter today in her distress, shame and weariness. Have mercy on her, and come in tender reassurance. You know her heart is troubled by this season of apathy and weariness; troubled by the lack of joy and motivation; so deeply disappointed in her failures. 

Send from your throne my Father, send your Spirit in power to set me free to walk in peace again, to know joy and an appetite for living in spite of all my failures and shortcomings. O Father, help me to believe in grace and forgiveness in such a way that they make a difference to my life and I can live confident in you, witnessing to your goodness, love and transforming power.

In the name of my beloved Lord Jesus, who died so that I might be set free from bondage, might live to know and love and be loved, Amen.

Why do I write?

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A voice says, “Cry out.” And I said, “What shall I cry?”

“All people are like grass, and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures for ever.”

(Isa 40.6-8)

Ten years ago, I began to write. I found my voice, as a follower of Jesus and one whose delight it is to know and learn to know him better. I found that writing each week helped me to grasp the truth, as I wrestled with words and found relief in articulating what was encouraging or troubling me. The discipline of weekly writing has been an unmitigated blessing to me, and by God’s providence and grace, has proved a blessing to others too. It seems that often my words help others in turn to find their voices – how I thank God for this manifestation of the ministry of all believers, as the gifts of each one finds a place in serving others!

The years have seen changes, in my family and in my circumstances, and the world has known great griefs and upheavals. But through it all, the word of our God stands, and there I place my hope. I have proved the sweet faithfulness of my Saviour, the greatness of my Father’s heart, the reviving power of the Spirit. I have not learnt and put into practice everything that I have written – sadly it seems that very little has changed in my essential nature – but I believe that the process of writing and sharing week by week has been nourishing and correcting, a means by which God has spoken to me and sustained me through these ten years. For the moment then, I commit myself to continuing to write, and trust that as I ask, seek and knock, my gracious and generous God will answer, will direct and will open the doors according to his good purposes for my life within his great and growing kingdom.

These are the words with which this endeavour began. They remain a true statement of my desires in writing, and I share them again with you today. All glory to God, who in Jesus has set us free to know and love him, and to live ever more in his presence!

August 31st, 2014….

So what do I forget, all too often? I forget who I am, and forget what is true about the world I live in and the One who made and sustains it.

I forget that in the end, all human achievement and glory will count for nothing, and that the praise and admiration of men is not where true peace and satisfaction come from.

I forget that it is not my own busy-ness which dictates my worth as a person, and my possessions are not the source of my identity and security.

I need to take time to remember the truth, the truth that sets me free to live in the light of eternity.

I accept my insignificance and transience, because the word of my God stands for ever, and that word tells me that I am a beloved daughter, one for whose freedom a great price has been paid, and who can never be torn from her Father’s side.

I take time to remember that the glory of the grass and flowers is the faintest echo of the glory that awaits God’s beloved children in the future he has prepared for us.

I remember that all my longings and desires are known to Him who loves me more than I will ever truly understand, and that He knows best how to fulfill those desires.

In remembering, may we find rest for our souls. May they be anchored in the truth of the word, so that no dazzle or distraction can take our peace away. In Christ, we are now and always, beloved, accepted and sustained. Let us walk the days with him.

Ageing with [gr]attitude!

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It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night, to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp.

For you make me glad by your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the work of your hands. How great are your works, O Lord, how profound your thoughts! The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand, that though the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish, they will be for ever destroyed.

But you, O Lord, are exalted for ever.

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, “The Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no wickedness in him.”

(Ps 92)

My times are in thy hand; my God, I wish them there; my life, my friends, my soul I leave entirely to thy care.

My times are in thy hand, whatever they may be, pleasing or painful, dark or bright, as best may seem to thee.

My times are in they hand; why should I doubt or fear? My father’s hand will never cause his child a needless tear.

My times are in thy hand, Jesus, the crucified! Those hands my cruel sins had pierced are now my guard and guide.

My times are in thy hand; such faith you give to me that after death, at thy right hand I shall for ever be.

(WF Lloyd 1791-1853)

60 years ago today, my parents welcomed me into the world. They loved and cared for me, and they raised me in a home where Jesus was loved and honoured, supported by a congregation of faithful and encouraging believers. I am a child of the covenant, and have so much for which to give thanks to God.

As I enter my seventh decade, I am acutely aware that the days remaining to me may become clouded with ill health, that my sphere of activity may become limited, that many precious friends and satisfying activities may be lost to me before in turn I am called home. What is my attitude to these things? Will I choose resentment for all the things I have not had or done; choose to fear what God may permit to come to me from his loving hand?

No, by faith I choose gratitude, as I reflect on the past and dwell on the promises which are mine in Christ; promises which will last through whatever lies before me, and even through death to glory beyond. By faith, I choose to look forward to what God has for me to receive from him in this season, and to what he has for me to give. I have known too many fruitful saints who remain fresh in old age, to fear that there will be nothing that I can do for my king in the years that may remain to me!

Loving Father, I thank and praise you for the gift of life, and most of all for Jesus, through whom life becomes worth living. Thank you for your care for me as I grew up, for your provision for me down the years. Lord, keep me humbly dependant on you, and cheerful in my outlook. Let each day find me expecting good things from you, and also willing to accept what your providence may decree should happen to me, trusting always in your goodness.

My times, my health, my resources, all these are from you and to be used for you. Let me not withhold anything, but gladly be available to be used as you wish. Keep me fresh and eager to serve you, sensitive to opportunities to share Jesus’ love, and in tune with your spirit. May I be green and fruitful for you, feeding deeply on your word, drawing strength from the fellowship of saints, and increasingly transformed into the likeness of my Lord and saviour, in whose name I pray, Amen.

To hear is to obey…

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Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live..

(Isa 55.2&3)

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding.. then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

(Prov 2.1,2&5)

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said…. [the Lord answered] few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.

(Lk 10.38,39&42)

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it – not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it – they will be blessed in what they do.

(Jas 1.22-25)

I think we can all sometimes have ‘hearing’ problems when it comes to our relationships, particularly with God but also with one another. How often have I been guilty of distracted listening, of paying little real attention to the person speaking to me? And the result is that I misunderstand them, often hurting them as it becomes clear by my inappropriate responses that I have not cared enough about them to really listen and absorb their words. Arrangements get messed up, feelings are hurt, and a whole heap of unnecessary trouble arises, when I fail to listen. Our sense of hearing can only really function properly when our minds are also engaged, to process and act upon what we hear.

In the Hebrew Scriptures, the word used for ‘hearing’ implies an obedient active response. If nothing is done in response, in or by the listener, then they weren’t actually listening at all! As a follower of Jesus, I am called to listen for his voice, not only because He wants me to know him, but also because without listening – really hearing with all that implies about willingness to respond – I cannot know what He would have me be and do as his disciple.

As I listen, I put aside my own assumptions about God’s character and purposes for his kingdom, and I choose to be open to being wrong about all sorts of things! I put aside the wisdom of the world around me, and I choose to learn the truth of God. I choose to remember that I am dust, and that God’s ways are far above my comprehension – that not to understand is no reason to disobey the Almighty, if I truly trust him…

There are many good things which could be done in the name of Jesus, but unless I prioritise listening in humility and expectation, then I may end up very busy with a whole lot of things that are not my calling.. I trust that God will lead and enable me for the work I am to do, and that labour will always be founded in obedience to the word which I hear. There will be a continual rhythm of attentive, critically self-aware listening, which naturally bears fruit in a life of sacrificial love and delight in the One whose voice we are tuned to above all others.

Heavenly Father, let me, like Mary, choose to sit at my Lord’s feet as his disciple. Give me the hunger to hear his words, and the humility which keeps me from thinking I already know it all. Let me remember that busyness is not equal to holiness; that I do not earn your favour by working for it; that all I can ever do is respond in thankful service to your abundant and unfathomable grace to me.

Let me live then in this rhythm of listening first; of making time to read and ponder your word, and trusting that you will lead and enable me then to live for and with you. Speak, O Lord, and let me truly hear and obey your voice – for your glory and the blessing of many in the kingdom, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

It’s all a bit.. overwhelming!!

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“Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his law the islands will put their hope.”

(Isa 42.1-4)

“Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other. By myself I have sworn, my mouth has uttered in all integrity a word that will not be revoked: before me every knee will bow; by me every tongue will swear. They will say of me, ‘In the Lord alone are righteousness and strength.'”…. in the Lord all the descendants of Israel will be found righteous and will exult.

(Isa 45.22-25)

He said to them, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms.” Then he opened their minds so they could understand the scriptures. He told them, “This is what is written: the Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things.”

(Lk 23.44-48)

Embrace the “covenant of vocation” or, rather, be embraced by it as the Creator calls you to a genuine humanness at last, calls and equips you to bear and reflect his image.

Celebrate the revolution that happened once for all when the power of love overcame the love of power. And, in the power of that same love, join in the revolution here and now.

(NT Wright; p 416,The Day the Revolution Began – 2016, SPCK, )

I have just finished reading this book – not that I have done much more than look at the words… my concentration is not good these days, and theology  can be quite challenging. But…. I am so grateful that I persevered, because even though I failed to grasp much of the argument, yet I retain a flavour of the triumphant story which it tells. The author’s skill and expertise in this masterful exposition of the meaning of Jesus’ crucifixion has been so helpful, stretching my understanding and I thank God for the gifts which have been put to such glorious use for the building up of the kingdom.

I have glimpsed the greatness of the salvation narrative, been blinded by its light and complexity and yet also compelled by the love which it reveals.  While striving to grasp the theology with my mind, my heart has burned with awe and delight, humbly accepting the truth revealed. It is so much more, so much greater and more glorious than we can begin to imagine, and all part of the great purpose of God since before time began… that we might dwell with and delight in one another, sharing as Creator and beloved creatures in the joy for which we are designed.

I have a sense of so many threads gathering together to create a rich tapestry, like a great carpet unfolding ahead of me as I stumble and endeavour to follow, however lamely, in the way of peace, the way of holiness, the vocation to which I am called and now – by Christ’s triumph – am free to fully live! I am relishing the truth revealed, the fresh understanding of where we are going and why the gospel matters for today as well as for tomorrow.  A fresh vision of mission is revealed – to declare here and now that the world is no longer in bondage, that Jesus has defeated those powers that bind humanity in misery, that true freedom is in him and free to all who will come! The great revolution was launched on Good Friday, and as Jesus’ followers, we are commissioned to spread the word of radical change, the word of hope, that because of him, it is possible to be fully human at last!

As the great revolution is being worked out across the world – in God’s word at work and in our experience of him through the sacraments – may we his people be drawn to worship afresh by the magnitude of His plan, the depth of His love, the steadfastness of His purpose which is being fulfilled hour by hour and heart by heart.

For all the saints…

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I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; before the ‘gods’ I will sing your praise. I will bow down towards your holy temple and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stout-hearted.

May all the kings of the earth praise you, O Lord, when they hear the words of your mouth. May they sing of the ways of the Lord, for the glory of the Lord is great.

Though the Lord is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me. The Lord will fulfil his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures for ever – do not abandon the works of your hands.

(Ps 138)

For all the saints who from their labours rest, who Thee by faith before the world confessed, Thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest. Halleluia, Halleluia!

Thou wast their rock, their fortress and their might; Thou, Lord their captain in the well-fought fight; Thou, in the darkness drear, their one true light. Halleluia, Halleluia!

(W.W. How, 1823-97)

There is an old postcard in my bible, faded and not very attractive, a design which I would not have chosen to buy for myself… so why is it there, after 36 years? Because it was written and given to me by one of the most precious of the saints who graced my early life and young adulthood, a lady called Mary Inglis. Mary never married, but her ‘family’ was huge! Everyone who met her knew that they were loved, that they mattered to God, and the fruit of her prayers and faithful loving service will only be fully known in the new creation, when one by one, untold numbers will seek her out to thank her for the way that she touched their lives!

Mary wrote this card and referred me to this psalm, in a particularly painful and dark time of my life. Her gentleness and love made her words all the more precious, and I have treasured the card ever since – a reminder of a bright spirit wholly surrendered to her Lord, and given over to loving others in his name. The psalm was one she had shared recently with friends, praying together for one another as each in her own way was facing troubles and challenges, and needing that priceless reassurance that the Lord would fulfil his gracious purposes for each one.

I hope that I have learnt from Mary’s example, or that I am still learning from it, since I am a slow learner… I know that to make time to write words of encouragement can be one of the most powerful ways we can show God’s love to one another; I know that to pursue a quiet life of service and love is not to be insignificant in the kingdom; I know that to share one’s journey of faith with others is to be strengthened and made glad, as we see one another growing in faith, see prayers answered, and are renewed in hope. I know too that she would shrink from any great praise, and would direct all such admiration to her beloved Lord and Saviour, delighting only in humble service and shunning pride in any ‘achievements’.

It has been such sweet food for my spirit to take time to remember Mary, and to write of her life and influence on me – I do indeed praise and thank God for all the saints whom I have been blessed to know, and who now rest from their labours. I thank God for their example, and the encouragement it is to remember how they lived by faith, how they clung to Christ in times of trial, and how they loved, oh how they loved!

May God grant us in our turn the wisdom and willingness to serve his church in this way. May we see and take opportunities to love, to recognise and affirm one another; to speak words of encouragement and comfort; to share our own journey of faith. May we in our turn prove the faithfulness of our Lord, and with the psalmist rejoice in his enduring love, resting in the assurance of his will and purpose to fulfil all he has planned for us in his kingdom.

Lord, for the years…

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Lord, for the years your love has kept and guided, urged and inspired us, cheered us on our way, sought us and saved us, pardoned and provided, Lord of the years, we bring our thanks today.

Lord, for ourselves, in living power remake us – self on the cross and Christ upon the throne, past put behind us, for the future take us, Lord of our lives, to live for Christ alone,

(T. Dudley Smith, 1926- )

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. for,

“Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”..

..in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander…

(1Pet.3.8-16)

“.. to live for Christ alone..” a motivation for marriage, a purpose for our lives both as individuals and as husband and wife. I believe that when I was called into marriage, it was so that in that context, I might live for my Lord. He had and has work for me to do as a wife, and as a mother – and now a grandmother. Those things are not distractions from my calling as a believer. For me, they are my calling! I have rejoiced to live my life of faith in those places, and could not have fulfilled those tasks without the constant presence and enabling, the love and strength of my Father in heaven.

The journey is not over yet, but as the years pass, the tasks change, and I need fresh anointing of grace, wisdom and strength for the new situations where I serve. As I contemplate another anniversary, I want to give thanks for the years down which – as the opening line of the quoted hymn says – my Lord has kept and guided me. There remain mysteries, unanswered questions about why certain things have happened – or not happened – but my overwhelming sense is of being cared for, provided for, and always conscious of my heavenly Father’s sustaining love.

I give thanks for other marriages which inspire me to persevere in faith; to continue looking for new ways in which to serve my Saviour in the places to which he has brought me. I give thanks for the wisdom of those who have gone before, walking by faith and modelling that gracious dependence on God which teaches me how to live now. I give thanks for those who have let me see that their marriages are not perfect, and yet who know that within that context, they are called to serve one another and to love their Saviour and serve their communities. Yes, there may be a few ideal marriages out there, but most of us are sinners, married to sinners, trying our best to grow in love, forgiveness and patience – and so grateful to God for enabling us to keep going.

We made promises, all those years ago, trusting that God would help us to keep them. And as I consider the years, I see how each fresh resolution to keep on trying, keep on forgiving, keep on asking for forgiveness, has been part of the perseverance which I am called to. I didn’t know when I made those promises, just what the years would bring, but I knew something of the God whom I was trusting to bring me through them. Day-by-day and week-by-week, as I kept walking in obedience, he has walked me down the years, and now there is only a heart full of gratitude for all that he has done – often in spite of me – through this married life.

Thank you, Father, for your faithfulness to us down the years. May we not now neglect the fresh opportunities that you have given us to love and serve you in this new chapter of our lives. Let our lives as husband and wife prove a means of blessing to one another and also to your church and the wider community. May we live for you, in harmonious and fruitful companionship, ever thankful for your presence with us, through Jesus our Lord, Amen.

Abundant living…

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‘But this is my word’, Jesus continued ,’for those of you who are listening: love your enemies! Do good to people who hate you! Bless people who curse you! Pray for people who treat you badly… Whatever you want people to do to you, do that to them. If you love those who love you, what’s special about that?… No: love your enemies, do good and lend without expecting any return. Your reward will be great! You will be children of the Highest! He is generous, you see, to the stingy and the wicked. You must be merciful, just as your father is merciful. Don’t judge, and you won’t be judged. Don’t condemn, and you won’t be condemned. Forgive, and you’ll be forgiven. Give, and it will be given you: a good helping, squashed down, shaken in, and overflowing – that’s what will land in your lap. Yes: the ration you give to others is the ration you’ll get back for yourself.’

(Lk 6.27-38: NT Wright translation, 2001)

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. .. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge, I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. 

(Rom 12. 17-21)

Jesus came to usher in the ‘age to come’, the kingdom of God unveiled in the heart of a kingdom ruled by the powers of this age, where humankind had been held in bondage, enslaved and unable to fulfil the role for which we were created – to live for and with our God, stewards of his creation and bearing his image. From the outset of his ministry, Jesus consistently overturned expectations about what God was like, and what it looked like to honour, and live in freedom with him.

The religious leaders of Judaism in his day were trying to bring in God’s kingdom by tighter and tighter adherence to the law, laying a huge burden on the people to get it right. Instead of this, Jesus came like a tornado of fresh air, light and boundary-breaking! Jesus said that if our hearts were right with God – in humble repentance, and joyful depending faith – then we had entered the kingdom of God, it was among us and we were loved and secured by God in his family. Jesus set aside the legal observances, turning the spotlight on the heart, and asking – “do you love and trust me above all these rules; above your racial purity; above your wealth and status in Israel?” Jesus came and poured out God’s love unstintingly, with a breathtaking abandon and – in the eyes of the Pharisees and teachers of the law – a reckless disregard for tradition! And time after time, Jesus called those who believed in him to live as he did – because this recklessly generous life reflects the heart of our God, the love which held nothing back when it came to doing for us what we desperately need and cannot do for ourselves.

Do I believe that God is astonishingly merciful? Well, yes I do, because he reached me and rescued me, and continues to seek out those like me who have done nothing to deserve his favour. Do I see God’s provision of sun and rain, day and night, for every human being on the planet? Yes, I do! He does not grudge us the good gifts we receive, and more than that, He chooses to show grace and love even to those who persist in dishonouring and grieving his holy, loving heart.

As I contemplate the way that God’s kingdom generosity pours out from Jesus, I am challenged to consider my own attitudes and behaviour: do I consistently choose to love, to give, to rejoice and live in the light, no matter what happens to me? Am I grudging or giving with gladness? Which attitude honours the God who gave his son for me? Which way of living will rightly mirror the God whose grace is amazing, and whose goodness is readily shown to those who reject him?

O Lord, God of heaven, in your mercy work in me that I might live to honour you by living abundantly, generously, giving as you give, forgiving and eager to do good that others might thrive. Show me what I have to spend in this way – my words, my time, my love… Show me where I am miserly, fearful and indifferent – release me to live for you, showing me what it looks like here and now to be like my Father in heaven. Let me follow my Saviour in a life of selfless love, that you might be glorified and lives transformed. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Outlook.. changeable!

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He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children – with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. Praise the Lord, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts, you servants who do his will. Praise the Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the Lord, O my soul.

(Ps 103. 10-22)

There is a child in my heart; a child who fears to grieve those she loves, who is deeply ashamed to cause trouble or hurt, who longs to see those around her happy and untroubled. The child often apologises for things that may not be her fault, in an attempt to smooth over discomfort. The child is terrified to express desires, or make choices which may cause discomfort or inconvenience to others. The child is often tired of her failings, and of not managing to grow out of them. The child struggles to see any difference between her failings, and herself – often wishing that she herself were out of the way, so that the lives of those she loves could run without the continual irritant of her faults. The child sees little value in her own contribution to life, except as far as she can please others and make their lives better.

The adult in my heart knows that she is made by God for a purpose; made to know and be known by him; made to serve and delight in him; made to delight in the world, in other people, and all the good gifts which he gives day by day. The adult knows that she is loved, saved, guarded by eternal arms and assured of an inheritance in the world to come. The adult knows that she is forgiven, and forgiven again; and that the love that matters will never fail her and knows her heart’s desire is to be made pure.

The voices of the child and the adult are vying for my attention; first one, and then the other speaks loudest, and as a result I am in a pitiable state of turmoil, at the mercy of some deep, destabilising emotions. The outlook changes not only from day-to-day, but almost minute to minute, and it is very tiring. In such a condition, I do my utmost to cling to the rock which is my Saviour’s love and saving power; his settled disposition for my eternal good. I seek the discipline to recall and meditate on God’s promises to me, promises to forgive, and to transform. I seek ways to lift my head up out of my own mess to look at the great big story of His-story – of God making His kingdom come, and His will be done. In that gloriously wide perspective there lies the possibility of renewed confidence, of peace and the conviction that the battle is won, and I walk under the victor’s flag. The struggles which beset me are put into their place and revealed as skirmishes with the enemy of God’s children, who is using my weakness to draw me away from my Saviour, and bind me in a dungeon of self-pity and despair.

I WILL NOT be bound; I WILL claim the victory which Christ has won over all the powers of evil in this world. And this I do because by the Spirit, God will do it for me! He does not change, when I do. He does not weaken or get distracted. Let my soul praise the Lord!

Heavenly Father, Almighty and Everlasting, whose faithful love never fails, and whose purposes are sure of being fulfilled, I praise and thank you for your steadfastness. You know that I am struggling in these days, fighting a wall of noise which accuses me of failure, stirring up every old shameful act, and every memory of a good deed not done. Have mercy on me, you know that I am but dust. In your fathomless compassion, restore in me by your Spirit, the faith, hope and upwelling gratitude which should be the heartbeat and rhythm of my life as your child. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.