Author Archives: eps992014

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About eps992014

a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a mother, wife, sometime runner, singer, gardener, and proud Scot

The precious gift of contentment

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The Lord said to Moses, “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” So they will put my name on the Israelites and I will bless them.”

(Num6.22-27)

Make your face shine on your servant and teach me your decrees.. I call with all my heart; answer me, Lord, and I will obey your decrees. I call out to you; save me and I will keep your statutes. I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.. Hear my voice in accordance with your love; preserve my life, Lord, according to your laws. Those who devise wicked schemes are near, but they are far from your law. Yet you are near, Lord, and all your commands are true.

(Ps 119.135,145-147,149-151)

The past weeks and months have seen great upheavals in my life, and it has been a season of change, challenge and distress; of grieving for the loss of many good things, even as I strove to give thanks that I had enjoyed them for a time. The Lord has been patient, faithful and so kind to me. Through bible reading, by the simple passage of time, through the ministry of many friends – in prayer and in person – I am come to a more spacious place and there is a deep sense of freedom and acceptance, for which I give profound thanks! There has been assurance from many different places, that I am not being called to a new labour, but rather to continue simply being present for new people in a new place – being available to listen, to share, to welcome and to walk with others. I am the home-maker, the garden-tender, and those are not ministries to be despised. I have time, God’s gift to me each day, to be available for others and to make good things to share with them. What a wonderful calling!

So this week as I write, I simply want to celebrate the ways that God cares for us, his children, and to acknowledge the trustworthiness of his word for us.

You, O Lord, are the source of all good things. You made us to receive your blessings, and we are those who bear your name – what an honour and privilege, what a responsibility to bear it well! Your word shapes us – that is one of your blessings to us – and it shows us who you are, and what you are like, it shows us Jesus. What riches are ours in this word! This Jesus brings us into a relationship with you, and because of him, you are transforming us, preparing us for eternal life in your presence. Truly, we live in the warmth of your smile and are blessed.

You are near to us, O Lord, and you hear and answer us. We never speak to deafness or indifference, but as your children are heard and cherished. How marvellous to know your comforting presence and attentive ear. Thank you for your power at work in us, to renew, re-create, comfort, correct and guide. Because you dwell within us, we are being made into the likeness of Jesus, made both willing and able to be and to do what you desire. Your word tells me that you have set your covenant love upon me – therefore I will trust your word, and live as one beloved of the Most High, secure and fearless in the world.

Thank you my Father, for the peace and contentment which is your gift to me in these days, as you help me to make this new place my home and the location of my ministry in your kingdom. Thank you for reminding me in so many ways, that I have nothing to prove, no one to compete against, and that my place and calling do not need to earn anyone’s approval – except yours. Let me be content then, to enjoy all the good things you give me in such a way that I bless your people and glorify my Father in heaven; sharing the love of Jesus and praising you for the encouragement of those around me. O Father, may I bear your name well, for Jesus’ sake, Amen.

The way of faithfulness…

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But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

(Rom 8.25-28)

I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I gave an account of my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees. Cause me to understand the way of your precepts, that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your law.

I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have broadened my understanding.

(Ps 119. 25-32)

As I was reading Psalm 119 this morning, that phrase, “I have chosen the way of faithfulness” jumped out at me. For all our human weakness and frailty, our vacillating desires and wavering commitment, those who follow Jesus will affirm again and again that this is their choice – to be faithful to the Lord whose faithfulness to us is without limit and has powerfully delivered us from death to life. We long to live according to his word, that he might be glorified in and through us, and that others may join his kingdom of freedom, love and peace. No matter what storms may sweep through our lives, this remains our desire – to walk in the way of faithfulness and not to give up!

I have spoken recently with friends who are facing very challenging seasons, having been laid aside through illness and prolonged medical treatments, they seem to be in some kind of limbo. Their lives have changed out of all recognition and they must live from day to day, not planning far ahead and fighting to remain joyful and peaceful in the strange paths which now they tread. It is perfectly natural that their spirits should be low, and their energy drained so that every day can be an effort to overcome weariness.  The psalmist speaks from such a place of suffering, and his response is to cling fast to truth and to God’s word as it reveals the divine character; calling on the Lord to do for him what is needed, because the whole situation is plain before God. God can bring life from death; can give strength to the weak and understanding and revelation to the confused and despairing.

In such situations, we can find it hard to pray, but again, we have here a guide – to put into our own words an account of our situation and to speak to our Father about our need and desire to remain faithful to Him in the midst of it. Paul assures us that in those situations, we have the power of the Holy Spirit ministering within us and interceding for us before God. It doesn’t matter if we are baffled, so long as we come to the throne room of our Father with our confusion and ask his aid. The Spirit knows God’s heart and plans, and can speak for us.

It is indeed ‘wonderful’ , in the sense of being quite baffling to our minds, that God should be working out his good purposes through our trials, and yet we believe that this is so. The whole of scripture testifies to the providential power of the Almighty to turn darkness into light and suffering into triumph, and always according to his great plan for salvation and the establishment of his kingdom.

Dear loving Father, I pray today for all those who feel that they are wasting time by being ill; who miss their former way of life and wonder what this season of illness is for. May they tell you their story, coming in the trusting attitude of children to the one whom they know can help, and whose motives are for their good.

In this season, Lord bless your servants who have chosen the way of faithfulness, and show them Your faithfulness! Reveal to them opportunities to serve and glorify you in the path which they now walk; enrich them with new delight in your word and understanding of your ways; give them joys in the smallest and simplest pleasures and daily love-gifts from your treasury, each chosen to touch them particularly since you know them so well. Honour their daily choice to walk in faith, and bring them peace. For your glory and their blessing I pray, Amen.

Room to breathe

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When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid… It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans… Open for me the gates of the righteous; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord… I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation… Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures for ever.

(Ps 118. 5,6,8,19,21&29)

This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls..”

(Jer 6.16)

At that time Jesus said, “I praise you Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned and revealed them to little children… Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

(Matt 11.25&29)

In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.. I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. You have not given me into the hands of the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.

(Ps 31.1,7&8)

I grew up in a house from whose windows one could see for many miles; could see the sea, distant hills and watch the weather moving across the landscape. In recent years that experience was gifted to me for a season, and how precious it was. Now I am back among buildings, with no distant horizons to gaze upon, and a sense of being hemmed in. The biblical picture of ‘a spacious place’ is therefore one with which I can strongly identify, as synonymous with the sweet rest which God gives his people as they depend on him.

To rest is to refrain from striving, and that is God’s gift to us in Jesus Christ. All our labours towards God are wasted time and effort, since nothing we do can achieve for us the deliverance and fulness which we desire. In Jesus, these things are offered to us freely, and in accepting them, we enter the inheritance of God’s children – which is rest from struggle, from futility, from fear, and the opportunity to live as we are designed to live.

We may certainly strive as believers to become more like our Lord, through studying his word and keeping in step with his Spirit. We also strive in his kingdom, to sow the seeds of gospel truth, to make disciples and to celebrate his goodness and unfailing love. But all these things are done from a basic position of resting, a freedom from anxiety and fear. Our labour is never worthless, and we are enabled for it by our Father in heaven. Our salvation does not depend upon it, and all we do is motivated by His love for us and our desire to respond to his generosity. We have nothing to prove.. how restful!

Thank you Lord for your covenant love, which endures for ever and is my inheritance. Thank you for calling me out of bondage into a spacious place, where I live in your presence, the object of your abundant care.

I am provided for, I need not strive; I can glimpse glories afar off, and walk in the light of your presence; I worship in the company of the redeemed, your people and in their company I walk in the old ways which you have appointed for our blessing. What bountiful gifts we receive from you!

You have won for your people the victory, and we follow in your triumph procession to inherit the land you have prepared for us, to know peace and perfect rest when the true King shall come in power. This is marvellous in our eyes, we rejoice to rest in you today, and worship you with glad hearts. Amen 

A work in progress… completion assured

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In the twenty-fifth year of our exile, at the beginning of the year, on the tenth of the month, in the fourteenth year after the fall of the city – on that very day the hand of the Lord was on me and he took me there. In visions of God he took me to the land of Israel and set me on a very high mountain, on whose south side were some buildings that looked like a city.. “Son of man, look carefully and listen closely and pay attention to everything I am going to show you, for that is why you have been brought here. Tell the people of Israel everything you see.”

(Ezek 40.1-4)

Then the man brought me to the gate facing east, and I saw the glory of the God of Israel coming from the east. His voice was like the roar of rushing waters, and the land was radiant with his glory.. The glory of the Lord entered the temple through the gate facing east. Then the Spirit lifted me up and brought me into the inner court, and the glory of the Lord filled the temple. While the man was standing beside me, I heard someone speaking to me from inside the temple. He said, “Son of man, this is the place of my throne and the place for the soles of my feet. This is where I will live among the Israelites for ever..”

(Ezek 43.1-7)

And the name of the city from that time on will be: THE LORD IS THERE.

(Ezek 48.35)

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away… And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God..” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”

(Rev 21.1,3&5)

The book of the words of the prophet Ezekiel is a challenging read, containing some visions which we find almost impossible to picture, let alone interpret.. It is nonetheless encouraging, closing as it does with a detailed description of a new temple, a new centre of worship of the the Almighty God, where his presence returns to dwell among his restored people. That vision came to encourage a people in exile, a people whose national identity was on the point of vanishing under Babylonian rule.

Because those people were not just any ethnic group, they were the chosen ones, the covenant people of the Almighty God and the objects of his faithful love. They were to play their part in his plan for the salvation of the world, and the inauguration of a new kingdom, and so although in human terms, they had no hope, yet God – through Ezekiel – is speaking to them of a purpose, dignity and identity as his people. There would in time be a restoration, a return to Jerusalem and a pattern of worship would be re-established.. but the return of the glory of the Lord – his presence – remained in the future. Devout Jews looked for this return, this coming of the Lord to his people, to dwell among them, and the writers of the New Testament recognise that Jesus, as God incarnate, was the initial fulfilment of the prophecy.

Ezekiel then speaks to a future restoration which is yet to be completed, to a full indwelling of God with his people. This is what we – as believers in Jesus – have experienced in our part as we live by faith and by the indwelling Holy Spirit. Jesus teaches that as we trust in him, so we become the dwelling place of God. We have been made fit for that purpose through the powerful atoning work of the cross, and – whatever we may feel – the truth is that the global church is now the place where the divine is at home.. We, like the exiled Israelites, have dignity, purpose and identity because we are the object of God’s covenant love. We too, look forward to a day when the full glory of God will dwell with his people and because of Jesus, we can be confident that it will come to pass.

The prophet’s vision is one of perfect communion and intimate connection, of proper worship and pure devotion. Only God himself, whose name and glory his people have defaced and dishonoured, can restore and make this a reality. God is committed to the realisation of this communion, a relationship where his glory will be perfectly seen in all its fulness, and seen as He dwells with us. How marvellous, how far beyond our comprehension this is!

To see this vision, is to worship and bow in awe before unimagined love and power, confessing my own insignificance and unworthiness, yet exulting to know myself chosen to share it!

That you, O God, should be glorified is only right.. But that your glory should be seen by your indwelling of your people is astonishing! Let me grow in understanding of this truth, let it inspire and motivate me to love, obedience and glad-hearted service. O Lord, be glorified in me!

Holy… me?!

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“I am the Lord your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy.”

(Lev 11.44)

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendour of his holiness.

(Ps 29.2)

Your statutes, Lord, stand firm; holiness adorns your house for endless days.

(Ps 93.5)

Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them. Glorious and majestic are his deeds and his righteousness endures for ever.. the Lord is gracious and compassionate.. he remembers his covenant for ever… The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy.. enacted in faithfulness and uprightness… holy and awesome is his name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…

(Ps 111, extracts)

Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands… Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. Good will come to those who … conduct their affairs with justice. Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered for ever.. their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord… their righteousness endures for ever..

(Ps 112, extracts)

… so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness.. now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness and the result is eternal life.. the gift of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Rom 6.19,22&23)

In [Christ] the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

(Eph 2.21&22)

It is only recently that I have properly come to understand that the word ‘holy’ is almost a synonym for God – meaning as it does the otherwise indefinable ‘otherness’ of the divine in all his glory, power and purity. Psalm 111 expresses many of those qualities in lyric power. So when the bible talks about holiness adorning God’s house, it is in the sense that a person’s home expresses their character, their taste and interests.. Ultimately, the word can only be applied to God, but the bible narrative is clear that in relation to God both people and things may be described as holy – meaning that they are to be regarded as his peculiar property, and again, designed to express and mirror his unique qualities. Again, in Psalm 112, we find a description of those who reflect God’s nature, the same words being used of them as were previously used of God.

God made humankind in his likeness, made them holy, to reflect and express his nature as they exercised stewardship in his name in creation. After their rebellion, God’s purpose in all the great story of redemption and re-creation is to restore that god-likeness or holiness in humankind, so that we might return to the joy and fullness of life for which we are designed. Jesus has accomplished the victory which makes holiness the birth-right and inheritance of all who trust in his saving power, and we may be sure that God who has begun this work of transformation will not rest until it is complete.

Holiness therefore is not something to be afraid of as somehow depriving us of opportunities or enjoyment of life. Holiness is the likeness of God as revealed in us by the work of the Spirit, as our minds and hearts are transformed in the freedom which Jesus has won for us. Those qualities when blossoming within the church as a dwelling place of God by his Spirit are indeed an adornment, a beautiful expression of the master of the house and an attraction to all who would find peace, hope and new life.

You, O Lord, are holy – what a tiny word to encompass and denote all that is your glory and character, your essential qualities. To become holy is to be gaining in those qualities – reflecting in our human sphere those aspects of your character which are within our scope to express.

We are your people, made in your likeness, created to thrive in so far as we reflect you and fulfil your purpose for us. You have set eternity in our hearts and endowed us with the life of the age to come where your holiness will be perfectly mirrored in our sinlessness. Lord, grant us even now to grow in this godli(ke)ness, this set-apartness, which is your nature and our destiny, that we might be a clear and winning witness to you in our day and generation. Thank you, that because of Jesus’ victory, we know that you will not cease to work in us to this end; let us then be joyful and praise you. Holy and awesome is your name, God our Lord!

The joy of simple things

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Lord, you have been our dwelling-place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God…. For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning- though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered….

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom… Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days..

May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendour to their children. May the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands.

(Ps 90.1&2,4-6,12,14,16&17)

What sweet relief comes to a struggling believer when they are gently reminded of the absolute and unshakeable goodness of God; of his power and eternal being. While we may founder amid doubt, weariness and even despair both over our own condition and the grievous state of our world, yet when we turn to the Almighty, we find a mighty, unruffled serenity and a resolute peace. Here is no agonised doubting, no indecisiveness, no fickleness. Here is pure light, justice, fathomless grace and committed and faithful love. Here is a safe place – THE safe place- where we may cast ourselves down in utter trust and surrender, and know that all shall be well, because our God is on the throne and nothing can prevent the fulfilment of his purposes and the full realisation of his glorious plans.

In this place of total security, I sit with my grief and loss; I share with my Father the burdens of my heart and am  comforted to know that I am heard and tenderly enveloped in his love. In this place of safety, I share my small joys, and know that they are a gift of his love to me, and I give thanks  – I know that when I take pleasure in what He gives, then I am honouring His love for me. In this place, where his eternal nature is revealed and my own smallness made so clear, I rest in his adoption of me as his child, and surrender to that keeping.

As I recognise that I am grieving, with all the weariness and confusion which that brings, I am glad to find peace and pleasure in small tasks – the baking of bread; the sharing of hospitality; and today, the preparation of some pots of colour to grace our garden as the autumn approaches. To handle soil, to gently embed the tiny plants, to let my eye feast on the variety of textures and colours, to anticipate in my imagination how they will flourish – these are gifts which soothe my spirit and I give thanks tonight for the opportunity and means to enjoy them. To be in the open air, with the sunshine on my back and the sound of the birds having a lively discussion in the neighbour’s thickets – these are gifts which refresh me and I give thanks tonight for my senses by which to appreciate them.

The Lord IS my dwelling place, and there I find both nurture and peace, and therefore I praise and let another day pass..

O Lord, I am as nothing in the face of your eternal glory and light, a passing shadow and a fleeting thought. Yet you have declared yourself to be my God, my Maker, my Sovereign. It is your naming which gives me value, and your promise which gives me hope. So few days are given to me, Lord let me be wise to use them well in your service; let your love be the foundation of my hope, my source of joy and pride and my satisfaction.

Have compassion on your servant, that she may see your hand at work and rejoice; let your glory be her motivation in living. By your grace and power, let her labours be fruitful in your kingdom, the only place where lasting value can be found. And Lord, let her children receive and walk in your covenant love; let them grow in faith and joy to glorify and serve you; may they see your works and worship you, together with all your saints. In Jesus’ precious name and for your glory, Amen.

The gap….

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When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterwards you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.. But as for me, it is good to be near God.

(Ps 73.21-28)

There is a gulf between the truth that I know, and my daily experience of living. There is a gap between what the bible teaches is true about me as a beloved child of God, with every reason to rejoice daily and to live in confident freedom; and the actual lived failure to find hope, to experience joy, to break out of a pessimistic and apathetic attitude to life. I can completely identify with the psalmist, describing a grieving and bitter heart…

I feel shame that the truth cannot banish the feelings, cannot move my perception of reality from my mind to my heart and emotions. I feel shame that I can’t seem to live in joy and peace and freedom, but am as one removed, behind a shield which hems me in with weariness and hopelessness, so that I long to be away from this body of death and sphere of failure. How can I as a believer even think this way? The truth exists to set me free, so how can I be in such bondage? There is a struggle, a desperate fight to regain courage, to find hope, to connect again with joy. And I am so tired of fighting every day…

Is it a passing phase? I hope so, but nonetheless intense and real while it lasts, so how do I deal with it as a believer? What is my witness while I endure? I cannot lie, I must speak truth and this is the reality today – the gap between what my faith tells me is true, and how I feel seems so deep and so wide, I cannot cross it.

I have been here before, and hold on to the assurance that it has passed and will pass again. But meantime, I am struggling each day to find motivation, to want to serve, to want to do anything at all – the weariness is real. I know I should preach truth to myself, should exhort and encourage but it feels pointless, as though I am cut off from God’s power. His strength does not fail, nor does his loving kindness. And yet.. my heart is failing, my spirit is so weary of trying and so ashamed of failing again, and again, and again..

Grant me grace, God grant me grace, for in you I have taken shelter, and in your wing’s shadow do I shelter until disasters pass.

I call out to God the most high, to [him] who requites me. He will send from the heavens and rescue me.. God will send his steadfast kindness…

My heart is firm, O God, my heart is firm. Let me sing and hymn. Awake, O lyre, awake, O lute and lyre. I would awaken the dawn. Let me acclaim you among the peoples, Master. Let me hymn you among the nations.

For your kindness is great to the heavens, and to the skies your steadfast truth.

(Ps 57, R Alter translation)

Father, consider your daughter today in her distress, shame and weariness. Have mercy on her, and come in tender reassurance. You know her heart is troubled by this season of apathy and weariness; troubled by the lack of joy and motivation; so deeply disappointed in her failures. 

Send from your throne my Father, send your Spirit in power to set me free to walk in peace again, to know joy and an appetite for living in spite of all my failures and shortcomings. O Father, help me to believe in grace and forgiveness in such a way that they make a difference to my life and I can live confident in you, witnessing to your goodness, love and transforming power.

In the name of my beloved Lord Jesus, who died so that I might be set free from bondage, might live to know and love and be loved, Amen.

Why do I write?

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A voice says, “Cry out.” And I said, “What shall I cry?”

“All people are like grass, and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures for ever.”

(Isa 40.6-8)

Ten years ago, I began to write. I found my voice, as a follower of Jesus and one whose delight it is to know and learn to know him better. I found that writing each week helped me to grasp the truth, as I wrestled with words and found relief in articulating what was encouraging or troubling me. The discipline of weekly writing has been an unmitigated blessing to me, and by God’s providence and grace, has proved a blessing to others too. It seems that often my words help others in turn to find their voices – how I thank God for this manifestation of the ministry of all believers, as the gifts of each one finds a place in serving others!

The years have seen changes, in my family and in my circumstances, and the world has known great griefs and upheavals. But through it all, the word of our God stands, and there I place my hope. I have proved the sweet faithfulness of my Saviour, the greatness of my Father’s heart, the reviving power of the Spirit. I have not learnt and put into practice everything that I have written – sadly it seems that very little has changed in my essential nature – but I believe that the process of writing and sharing week by week has been nourishing and correcting, a means by which God has spoken to me and sustained me through these ten years. For the moment then, I commit myself to continuing to write, and trust that as I ask, seek and knock, my gracious and generous God will answer, will direct and will open the doors according to his good purposes for my life within his great and growing kingdom.

These are the words with which this endeavour began. They remain a true statement of my desires in writing, and I share them again with you today. All glory to God, who in Jesus has set us free to know and love him, and to live ever more in his presence!

August 31st, 2014….

So what do I forget, all too often? I forget who I am, and forget what is true about the world I live in and the One who made and sustains it.

I forget that in the end, all human achievement and glory will count for nothing, and that the praise and admiration of men is not where true peace and satisfaction come from.

I forget that it is not my own busy-ness which dictates my worth as a person, and my possessions are not the source of my identity and security.

I need to take time to remember the truth, the truth that sets me free to live in the light of eternity.

I accept my insignificance and transience, because the word of my God stands for ever, and that word tells me that I am a beloved daughter, one for whose freedom a great price has been paid, and who can never be torn from her Father’s side.

I take time to remember that the glory of the grass and flowers is the faintest echo of the glory that awaits God’s beloved children in the future he has prepared for us.

I remember that all my longings and desires are known to Him who loves me more than I will ever truly understand, and that He knows best how to fulfill those desires.

In remembering, may we find rest for our souls. May they be anchored in the truth of the word, so that no dazzle or distraction can take our peace away. In Christ, we are now and always, beloved, accepted and sustained. Let us walk the days with him.

Ageing with [gr]attitude!

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It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night, to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp.

For you make me glad by your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the work of your hands. How great are your works, O Lord, how profound your thoughts! The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand, that though the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish, they will be for ever destroyed.

But you, O Lord, are exalted for ever.

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, “The Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no wickedness in him.”

(Ps 92)

My times are in thy hand; my God, I wish them there; my life, my friends, my soul I leave entirely to thy care.

My times are in thy hand, whatever they may be, pleasing or painful, dark or bright, as best may seem to thee.

My times are in they hand; why should I doubt or fear? My father’s hand will never cause his child a needless tear.

My times are in thy hand, Jesus, the crucified! Those hands my cruel sins had pierced are now my guard and guide.

My times are in thy hand; such faith you give to me that after death, at thy right hand I shall for ever be.

(WF Lloyd 1791-1853)

60 years ago today, my parents welcomed me into the world. They loved and cared for me, and they raised me in a home where Jesus was loved and honoured, supported by a congregation of faithful and encouraging believers. I am a child of the covenant, and have so much for which to give thanks to God.

As I enter my seventh decade, I am acutely aware that the days remaining to me may become clouded with ill health, that my sphere of activity may become limited, that many precious friends and satisfying activities may be lost to me before in turn I am called home. What is my attitude to these things? Will I choose resentment for all the things I have not had or done; choose to fear what God may permit to come to me from his loving hand?

No, by faith I choose gratitude, as I reflect on the past and dwell on the promises which are mine in Christ; promises which will last through whatever lies before me, and even through death to glory beyond. By faith, I choose to look forward to what God has for me to receive from him in this season, and to what he has for me to give. I have known too many fruitful saints who remain fresh in old age, to fear that there will be nothing that I can do for my king in the years that may remain to me!

Loving Father, I thank and praise you for the gift of life, and most of all for Jesus, through whom life becomes worth living. Thank you for your care for me as I grew up, for your provision for me down the years. Lord, keep me humbly dependant on you, and cheerful in my outlook. Let each day find me expecting good things from you, and also willing to accept what your providence may decree should happen to me, trusting always in your goodness.

My times, my health, my resources, all these are from you and to be used for you. Let me not withhold anything, but gladly be available to be used as you wish. Keep me fresh and eager to serve you, sensitive to opportunities to share Jesus’ love, and in tune with your spirit. May I be green and fruitful for you, feeding deeply on your word, drawing strength from the fellowship of saints, and increasingly transformed into the likeness of my Lord and saviour, in whose name I pray, Amen.

To hear is to obey…

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Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live..

(Isa 55.2&3)

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding.. then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

(Prov 2.1,2&5)

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said…. [the Lord answered] few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.

(Lk 10.38,39&42)

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it – not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it – they will be blessed in what they do.

(Jas 1.22-25)

I think we can all sometimes have ‘hearing’ problems when it comes to our relationships, particularly with God but also with one another. How often have I been guilty of distracted listening, of paying little real attention to the person speaking to me? And the result is that I misunderstand them, often hurting them as it becomes clear by my inappropriate responses that I have not cared enough about them to really listen and absorb their words. Arrangements get messed up, feelings are hurt, and a whole heap of unnecessary trouble arises, when I fail to listen. Our sense of hearing can only really function properly when our minds are also engaged, to process and act upon what we hear.

In the Hebrew Scriptures, the word used for ‘hearing’ implies an obedient active response. If nothing is done in response, in or by the listener, then they weren’t actually listening at all! As a follower of Jesus, I am called to listen for his voice, not only because He wants me to know him, but also because without listening – really hearing with all that implies about willingness to respond – I cannot know what He would have me be and do as his disciple.

As I listen, I put aside my own assumptions about God’s character and purposes for his kingdom, and I choose to be open to being wrong about all sorts of things! I put aside the wisdom of the world around me, and I choose to learn the truth of God. I choose to remember that I am dust, and that God’s ways are far above my comprehension – that not to understand is no reason to disobey the Almighty, if I truly trust him…

There are many good things which could be done in the name of Jesus, but unless I prioritise listening in humility and expectation, then I may end up very busy with a whole lot of things that are not my calling.. I trust that God will lead and enable me for the work I am to do, and that labour will always be founded in obedience to the word which I hear. There will be a continual rhythm of attentive, critically self-aware listening, which naturally bears fruit in a life of sacrificial love and delight in the One whose voice we are tuned to above all others.

Heavenly Father, let me, like Mary, choose to sit at my Lord’s feet as his disciple. Give me the hunger to hear his words, and the humility which keeps me from thinking I already know it all. Let me remember that busyness is not equal to holiness; that I do not earn your favour by working for it; that all I can ever do is respond in thankful service to your abundant and unfathomable grace to me.

Let me live then in this rhythm of listening first; of making time to read and ponder your word, and trusting that you will lead and enable me then to live for and with you. Speak, O Lord, and let me truly hear and obey your voice – for your glory and the blessing of many in the kingdom, in Jesus’ name, Amen.