You don’t want to hear Him – but He is calling your name.

You don’t want to follow Him – but your life is in His hands.

Your choices are taking you further and further from the fold – but His love is as strong as ever, and you are precious in His sight.

May you be gifted with restlessness; with hunger for more; with the ability to respond and to recognise your emptiness without Him.

May you be brought home before it is too late.

May you be confronted by Christ, even as you turn away from Him, and have no peace until you make peace with Him.

O, child of my heart, come home!

Who is it that you know for whom this blessing is your prayer? A sibling, a parent, a spouse? A friend, or a beloved child? This grief, borne by so many in the world, is a small echo of the heart of our Father, who yearns over all his children, and desires that none should perish apart from His love. It is a grief which we shy away from, preferring to think about other things, praying about other issues, but actually, the salvation of each and every person is God’s desire – and therefore should also matter to us, should touch us deeply. But how much pain lies in this – as yet- unanswered prayer..

The gift of salvation is one which cannot be inherited from our parents, nor caught by proximity and long exposure to other believers. Each person must come to a living and direct relationship with God, by faith in Jesus, if they are to be assured of eternal life and hope. There is no other way, and so this one greatest gift, which we long to see all our dear ones share, remains one which we cannot give them. 

The bible teaches how God offers his love and grace to all who will respond in repentance and faith; and time and again through the Old Testament, the prophets give voice to God’s lament over the stubborn hearts of his people. Beloved children, who turn away from him and who – knowing the truth – seem immune to the love and saving power of the God who woos them so passionately. Did God fail in his love and care? Is that why the people drifted away from him? Merely writing those words jolts me into recognising that the problem does not lie with God, but with the heart of humankind, which so readily settles for less than God’s best for us, and chooses to believe that in some way we can benefit from God’s care without actually caring about him.

As human parents, friends and family members, we have all had opportunities to share the good news with our dear ones; and we know that we have also failed many times to do so – whether in word or deed. To berate ourselves over lost opportunities is fruitless, and also denies God’s grace and forgiveness. But where does that leave us, as believers grieving over lost sheep? Are we responsible for their absence from the fold? In the parable of the lost sheep, Jesus makes no mention of why one animal had gone so far astray, focussing instead on the loving determination of the shepherd to find and rescue it. That comforts me, because it puts the onus on the rescuer, the divine shepherd, to do for the sheep what only he can do, and what he has done in dying to save them. I am only one of the sheep, not the shepherd! 

I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me – just as the Father knows me and I know the Father – and I lay down my life for the sheep.

(Jn 10.14&15)

What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

(Matt 18.12-14)

I have no ready answers to the question of why those raised in the faith should stray from it, hardening their hearts and seeming deaf to the loving call of their shepherd and saviour. I have no glib assurance that our prayers for their salvation will be readily answered. But I do know that my grief over the straying lamb is something that God wants me to feel fully, to carry willingly and prayerfully day by day. This grief – like other pains which we are called to bear – is a spur to prayerful dependence on my Father, for the fulfilment of his will and the display of his glory. 

Dear Father, your heart knows the grief which comes from watching beloved children straying and living without you at the centre of their lives. Thank you that this grief which I am called to carry is not strange to you, and that even as I ache, your love for me is strong and sure, and you call me to bring this burden too and lay it at your feet. Let me love, and pray and trust you for my straying sheep, for my Lord Jesus died for them, and in his name, I pray for them, Amen.