And finally, I let myself rest:

Fully,

Heavily,

Weak with relief.

I felt the strength of the encircling arms.

I sensed the steady-beating heart against which I was held.

His breath was warm on my face as He said to me,

“Darling girl, it is enough that you are and that I love you. Be at rest now, and let my love work healing and hope.”

(image: the Prodigal Daughter, Charlie Mackesy: St Ouen’s Parish Church, Jersey)

This image, shared with me at a recent retreat event, is what I want to finish on in 2025. I want to testify to the grace of my loving Father, an abundance of loving acceptance which has – over these past months, and through much pain – finally brought me to a place where I can truly accept His grace, and can fully rest in His love.

Much remains to be learnt, and I continue to be overwhelmed by His patience and gentleness with me, his forgetful child. But, I think that I have finally come home, where I belong, and a major battle is now behind me. I rest in a deeper way than ever before, and I am steadier and less vulnerable to outside influences which might cause me to stumble into despair and fear.

I am SO grateful, for all the ways that my Father has brought me to this place – through scripture, through wise counsel, through reading, and listening to sermons (one dating back over 100 years!). So many different prompts and aids, and all orchestrated by the Spirit to bring me here, where truth which I have known all my life has finally become lived and not merely learnt. Such transformation comes only by God’s power, and I am so thankful for this answer to the prayer of my despair.

It is my prayer for all my brothers and sisters in faith, and even more for all God’s children who still do not know how much they are loved and longed for, who are searching in so many other places for the peace which is found only in His arms; my prayer is that we might know this peace, the foundation of life itself, and of greater worth than anything this world can offer.

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust…. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame…. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour and my hope is in you all day long.

(Ps 25, extract)