Monthly Archives: December 2025

Set free to accept grace

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And finally, I let myself rest:

Fully,

Heavily,

Weak with relief.

I felt the strength of the encircling arms.

I sensed the steady-beating heart against which I was held.

His breath was warm on my face as He said to me,

“Darling girl, it is enough that you are and that I love you. Be at rest now, and let my love work healing and hope.”

(image: the Prodigal Daughter, Charlie Mackesy: St Ouen’s Parish Church, Jersey)

This image, shared with me at a recent retreat event, is what I want to finish on in 2025. I want to testify to the grace of my loving Father, an abundance of loving acceptance which has – over these past months, and through much pain – finally brought me to a place where I can truly accept His grace, and can fully rest in His love.

Much remains to be learnt, and I continue to be overwhelmed by His patience and gentleness with me, his forgetful child. But, I think that I have finally come home, where I belong, and a major battle is now behind me. I rest in a deeper way than ever before, and I am steadier and less vulnerable to outside influences which might cause me to stumble into despair and fear.

I am SO grateful, for all the ways that my Father has brought me to this place – through scripture, through wise counsel, through reading, and listening to sermons (one dating back over 100 years!). So many different prompts and aids, and all orchestrated by the Spirit to bring me here, where truth which I have known all my life has finally become lived and not merely learnt. Such transformation comes only by God’s power, and I am so thankful for this answer to the prayer of my despair.

It is my prayer for all my brothers and sisters in faith, and even more for all God’s children who still do not know how much they are loved and longed for, who are searching in so many other places for the peace which is found only in His arms; my prayer is that we might know this peace, the foundation of life itself, and of greater worth than anything this world can offer.

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust…. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame…. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour and my hope is in you all day long.

(Ps 25, extract)

On being afraid…. 4

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Joseph went up .. to Bethlehem… to register with Mary.. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son… and there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David, a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them… The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

(Lk 2.1-20, extracts)

We really know very little about the appearance of God’s angelic messengers – but it must have been something way out of the ordinary, since everyone who sees them is scared stiff! And in today’s reading, there is not just one, but a ‘great company’ of angels – those poor flat-out-terrified shepherds! Do you think that only one had been sent, but the rest couldn’t resist joining in the announcement? This news, this birth was the biggest thing since creation, and it is only reasonable to expect a degree of anticipation, wonder and celebration in the heavenly realms, on the safe delivery of the incarnate son of God to Mary and Joseph. I love the idea that the dignified announcement of the single angel was suddenly hijacked by all the others who were just so full of praise for God that they had to let it out..

Clearly, the shepherds were not so overwhelmed by fear that they could no longer think straight, and there was no hesitation or doubt in their minds as they set off to see for themselves what had happened – how true to life that is, we always want the evidence of our own eyes, and the angel had given them a clue to help them find the right child (were many babies being born in Bethlehem that night?!). Can you picture the little town that night, being disrupted by a bunch of shepherds knocking on doors and asking about new babies – how people must have wondered what they were doing? They were meant to be out with the sheep after all! There is a definite element of the comic and ridiculous in this wonderfully human tale…

And finally, they come to the right house, the one where the baby is lying, wrapped in the swaddling of a new-born, safe in the stone manger. And there they worship, praising God and sharing with the astonished parents what has just happened to them on the hill. All at once, Mary’s secret knowledge, the truth disclosed to Joseph and revealed to Elizabeth has become public property. These men are calling Jesus, “Saviour”, and “Christ” which means anointed one – the promised Messiah. And not only did they share with Mary and Joseph, but everyone else whom they had roused in the town by their search!  Bethlehem that night was not a particularly silent place, in spite of what our carols suggest…

Do you notice the repetition of particular words, ‘glorifying and praising God’?  This had been what the angels were doing when they filled the skies with light and thundered the good news; it is what the shepherds did after they had seen the baby for themselves. And it is what happens time and time again in the gospel stories and through the history of the church, as people see God’s power at work and respond to him.

Heavenly Father, help me I pray, to recognise your hand at work; help me in this season to recognise afresh the magnitude of your purpose in sending Jesus to become human and to be our Saviour.

Let the depth of love revealed by his incarnation bring me to glorify and praise you more and more. Let me not be unmoved by the mystery of God-made-man, but prompted to share in the gladness and rejoicing of the shepherds as they saw and witnessed to the truth.

Let me make a joyful noise, so that all those around me know that something wonderful has happened!! In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen.

On being afraid…. 3

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This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. 

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

(Matt 1.18-24)

“Is that wise?” Those words are an invitation to think again, to weigh the pros and cons of a choice of action, and sometimes they carry a heavy weight of judgement – the unspoken words being – “I personally think it’s crazy!!”

As human beings, designed by God to live in community and relationship, it is impossible for us to ignore the voices of those around, and especially of those with whom we live closely and whose opinions matter to us very much. That is a divine providence which can help us to avoid hasty and rash actions; it reminds us that there are consequences for other people arising from our choices; and it is an expression of love. We do well to pay attention to those human voices, to that love-in-action which is our community counterweight to folly and risk. But, and there is always a ‘but’ in the experience of fallen humanity, ultimately as believers, we need to make our choices based on God’s will for us, revealed in scripture and mediated by his Spirit to our spirits.

Human love is never perfect, and therefore human advice will always be rather less than ideal! God’s love for us, his children, is perfect and unfathomable, and ultimately therefore more trustworthy than any human affections. In addition, humanity cannot discern the full and glorious breadth and depth of God’s purposes, which means that even the most well-meaning and godly advice may fall short in keeping us in the centre of God’s will!

I think this was the case for Joseph, betrothed to Mary and deeply conflicted over what to do when he discovers her pregnancy. Humanly speaking, he is absolutely right to plan as he does – the quietest possible undoing of the marital bond (betrothal was virtually equivalent to marriage at that time). And we feel great sympathy for his plight! He listens to the cultural voices around him, intent on preserving his good name, and the  integrity of his family line… and we can surely forgive him for boggling at the very idea of Mary’s pregnancy being by the Spirit of God; there were no historical precedents for that!

And into that fog of conflicting feelings, of disappointment, suspicion, fear and grief, comes a clear word from God, “Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife”. The angelic visitor addresses Joseph as a son of David – the royal line of God’s people, from whom Messiah was foretold to come – and assures him that this incredible story is true, Mary is not lying to him, and most importantly, that the child to be born is that same Messiah. There is no promise that the condemning, disappointed or mocking voices of his culture will be silenced if he obeys, only the instruction itself.

We are not told whether Joseph spent the rest of that astonishing night wrestling in prayer, or whether he simply woke up in the morning and knew what he must do. Either way, he gives us a beautiful example of a servant of God who chose to listen first to the divine command, the voice of truth, and to trust that the improbable, the unpopular, the ‘unwise’ course was the right one, because it was God’s course for him, and now, for Mary too.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for the way that you met Joseph in his humanity and weakness, and did not condemn him, but assured him that it was possible to do the right thing, to step into his unique part in your purposes for the world and to dare the fearful onslaught of gossip, speculation, mockery and criticism which his actions would entail.

Help me in turn, Lord, to recognise your voice and to trust it. Help me to overcome fear of what others will say or think about me; help me to be willing to be a fool for Christ if you command it, so that your kingdom might be built, even through me. Help me to feel the fear, and do the right thing anyway! Thank you that you will always be with me to enable, to sustain and to keep me, and that nothing which is said by anyone else can undo the truth which you have said over me – I am loved, I am raised with Christ, and I will share the life of the age to come with you and all your people. Halleluia, Amen!

On being afraid ….. 2

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In the sixth month God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. the angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.”

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favour with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High….. The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you, so the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”

(Lk 1.26-38)

I have a vivid memory of the day when we discovered that I was pregnant with our first child – something we both wanted very much, and rejoiced over. There was at the same time a profound awareness that life had suddenly changed, and that nothing would ever be the same again – one does not ‘get over’ having a baby, in the way that one recovers from a bad cold, or a broken collar bone! In the midst of our rejoicing, there was an element of sadness for the uncomplicated life we were about to lose, and an element of fear for what might lie ahead.

To enter into a marriage, to become a parent, is a life-changing process and one which we enter without much of a clue how it might work out! Mary is presented with God’s message that she is to become the mother of the son of the Most High, to bear a child by the Holy Spirit – it is incomprehensible to us, and to her must have been quite overwhelming. God did not unpack all the details, or outline the consequences for her, but only the mystery of who this child would be – and that was enough for Mary. Perhaps there was a special grace given to her that day, so that she did not panic at the scale of the task appointed to her, but after wondering at its seeming impossibility, she quietly accepts the burden of blessing which is to be hers.

Mary’s beautiful song of praise, recorded later in Luke’s gospel, demonstrates her deep grasp of God’s purposes in history, of the promise of salvation, of the covenant love which shapes and directs the Almighty. She knew that there was a promised deliverer to come, and so although she must have been surprised to be chosen, yet she could see how God was inviting her to step into his purposes, not only for Israel but for all the world.

Mary takes the first step; she says, “Yes”, facing the future as she could only dimly perceive it that day and trusting God who has called her. In future years, she will continue to say, “Yes”; mothering her family, serving her community, and finally following her son to his death in Jerusalem. She cannot see that day now; she cannot know the extent to which her heart will be riven and wracked, only to be flooded with joy and hope at the resurrection. But she steps into obedience, and into believing that the God who called, will also provide what she will need for each and every circumstance arising out of that obedience.

Will I say ,”yes”, to the next step in my path of obedience? I may not be called to anything very dramatic or public, but just like Mary, and every other follower of Jesus, I am called to step into God’s plans, by faith and in trust. I cannot know the consequences of my obedience, nor the trials that may lie ahead of me, but I can follow Mary’s example of acceptance and perseverance.

Heavenly Father, Mary shows me what it means to trust and obey; to be aware of my limitations and weakness and yet set those aside because it is you who calls me, and with you, nothing is impossible. 

Let me then, like Mary, accept your directing and leading, and trust you with the consequences of my obedience. Keep me from fear of the unknown, fear of future trials, fear of my own inadequacy. I would choose not to be afraid, but to say, “yes, Lord, I will as you will; I follow where you lead; I receive from you what I need and look to you to do the impossible, even through me.”

For the glory, and in the name, of my precious Jesus, I pray, Amen.